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What Are Your Self-Imposed Handicaps & Limitations?

WJK

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I’ve been doing a personal inventory looking for assumptions that I have accepted as stone cold truths. It all sounds lofty? No, not really. They are silly limitations I stopped questioning long ago – a string of self-imposed personal handicaps and unforced errors. We all have them.

We think we’re good at this -- and can’t do that. We were born with XXXX. Are we lacking YYYY? What?

It all goes back to the elephant in the room. It’s all in the training. When a handler gets a baby elephant, he ties a rope around the baby’s leg. The other end is tied to a tree or a peg. No matter how hard the baby struggles, the elephant can’t get loose from that rope. Over time he stops trying. Later when the elephant is grown, the handler ties him in the same way. The adult elephant has no idea that he could break that rope with a flick of his huge leg and walk away.

We’re each have a lot in common that baby elephant, struggling at the end of his confining rope. The issues we fight when we’re young can become our self-imposed adulthood handicaps and limitations.

For example:

How many people have decided that they just aren’t good at math? How can you handle money or run a business without math? Isn’t that our scoreboard?

How many of us assume that we are NOT good at dealing with people? With whom are you going to work—monkeys? How are you going to attract your customers?

How about those who have a chip on their shoulder? Each has their long list of reasons why they can’t succeed. And failure is sure never their fault…

Think about it. What’s your story and when did you decide these issues are your truth? What are your self-imposed handicaps and assumptions?
 

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kanunay

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One of mine would be that I can't be good at design. Whether it's picking the right color for painting some walls, choosing furniture, or making a template for a web site, I'm not the right person for that task.

The truth is I've never spent much time learning those skills, I've always been too busy doing something else.
 
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WJK

WJK

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One of mine would be that I can't be good at design. Whether it's picking the right color for painting some walls, choosing furniture, or making a template for a web site, I'm not the right person for that task.

The truth is I've never spent much time learning those skills, I've always been too busy doing something else.
Good for you. You don't have to be good at everything.

Being a woman in real estate, I became a commercial real estate appraiser. At that time (I started in the 1980s), women didn't do that job, mainly because of the math. We had 7% women in that field. It was at the beginning of word processing and before appraisers were licensed. I didn't know I couldn't do it, so I did it anyway — good thing they forgot to tell me about that limitation. It was a great career.
 

Bekit

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I’ve been doing a personal inventory looking for assumptions that I have accepted as stone cold truths. It all sounds lofty? No, not really. They are silly limitations I stopped questioning long ago – a string of self-imposed personal handicaps and unforced errors. We all have them.

We think we’re good at this -- and can’t do that. We were born with XXXX. Are we lacking YYYY? What?

It all goes back to the elephant in the room. It’s all in the training. When a handler gets a baby elephant, he ties a rope around the baby’s leg. The other end is tied to a tree or a peg. No matter how hard the baby struggles, the elephant can’t get loose from that rope. Over time he stops trying. Later when the elephant is grown, the handler ties him in the same way. The adult elephant has no idea that he could break that rope with a flick of his huge leg and walk away.

We’re each have a lot in common that baby elephant, struggling at the end of his confining rope. The issues we fight when we’re young can become our self-imposed adulthood handicaps and limitations.

For example:

How many people have decided that they just aren’t good at math? How can you handle money or run a business without math? Isn’t that our scoreboard?

How many of us assume that we are NOT good at dealing with people? With whom are you going to work—monkeys? How are you going to attract your customers?

How about those who have a chip on their shoulder? Each has their long list of reasons why they can’t succeed. And failure is sure never their fault…

Think about it. What’s your story and when did you decide these issues are your truth? What are your self-imposed handicaps and assumptions?
Great topic!

I have identified several unhelpful limiting beliefs in myself recently.

One is, "I'm not a sophisticated business person, so I don't have what it takes to close deals."

One is, "I'm not worth being paid for my services."

And one is just plain old fear rising up when I try to play big.

I've come to realize that changing my thinking thinking is a serious, major first step in getting to my goals.

One example showed this to me really powerfully. I was at a live event with someone I purchased copywriting training from.

In the Q&A time, I asked a question that betrayed all my fear and stress about getting started. I started to get emotional and teary-eyed.

So the presenter asked me if I wanted to participate in a little exercise. I agreed, so he invited me to come up to the front of the room.

I walked up to the front sort of tentatively, still holding back my emotions, shoulders hunched.

And the presenter said, "How would you stand, what pose would you take, if you knew that you had made it, your income was guaranteed for life, and you were winning really big?"

I struck a new pose where I gave a little jump and landed with my fists in the air, a smile on my face, and a vocal "Yeah!"

"Did you see that?" the presenter said. "In one instant, she went from gloomy and stressed to victorious... just by changing her thinking. And that shows how fast we can change our thinking. It's a decision, and it can happen instantaneously."

It's easier said than done to change our thinking instantaneously, but one thing I do know: I am not content to just let unhelpful limiting beliefs reside unmolested in my mind once I've identified them.

What are your strategies for getting rid of unhelpful limiting beliefs, @WJK?
 
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WJK

WJK

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Great topic!

I have identified several unhelpful limiting beliefs in myself recently.

One is, "I'm not a sophisticated business person, so I don't have what it takes to close deals."

One is, "I'm not worth being paid for my services."

And one is just plain old fear rising up when I try to play big.

I've come to realize that changing my thinking thinking is a serious, major first step in getting to my goals.

One example showed this to me really powerfully. I was at a live event with someone I purchased copywriting training from.

In the Q&A time, I asked a question that betrayed all my fear and stress about getting started. I started to get emotional and teary-eyed.

So the presenter asked me if I wanted to participate in a little exercise. I agreed, so he invited me to come up to the front of the room.

I walked up to the front sort of tentatively, still holding back my emotions, shoulders hunched.

And the presenter said, "How would you stand, what pose would you take, if you knew that you had made it, your income was guaranteed for life, and you were winning really big?"

I struck a new pose where I gave a little jump and landed with my fists in the air, a smile on my face, and a vocal "Yeah!"

"Did you see that?" the presenter said. "In one instant, she went from gloomy and stressed to victorious... just by changing her thinking. And that shows how fast we can change our thinking. It's a decision, and it can happen instantaneously."

It's easier said than done to change our thinking instantaneously, but one thing I do know: I am not content to just let unhelpful limiting beliefs reside unmolested in my mind once I've identified them.

What are your strategies for getting rid of unhelpful limiting beliefs, @WJK?
First I have to ID them. Sometimes it's a real "Aha" experience. Then I turn them over to look at their nature and how they became stuck to me. They are usually directly connected to my personal fears. Next, I have to remind myself that only stupid, fool-hardy people don't have fears. I care about myself and my well being -- unlike them. I know that being brave is doing something anyway dispite one's fear. My anodote to these limitations is simply doing what I fear -- while accepting failure as a possible outcome. And, I've had some spectacular failures over the years, which is balanced by a strong track record of successes. Is that helpful?
 

LeoistheSun

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Drawing is mine. May not be useful but my sister is an amazing artist, and all I can draw is stick figures.

Another is deserving to be rich. That is something I am working on.
 
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WJK

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Drawing is mine. May not be useful but my sister is an amazing artist, and all I can draw is stick figures.

Another is deserving to be rich. That is something I am working on.
I like the second one better. It's more mutable. You can change that factor by deciding to do more than just work on it. You CAN change it by making money and taking good care of that wealth to make it grow. Another factor is your definition of being "rich" -- what amount of money or success would make you feel like you're rich? Compared to where I started in my life, to my complete amazement, I'm there. What will it take to put you there too?
 

rynor

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Sales and networking. Truth be told, I am painfully introverted. Public speaking gives me nightmares and networking is incredibly hard for me. Cold calling even more so.

Another is deserving to be rich.
This as well. Trying to work on shattering this belief that I don't deserve to be rich.
Truth is: There is enough riches available in the world for everyone. Abundance mentality ;)

Another truth: I need to step out of my comfort zone more and just practice those skills. The only way to get better is to consistently practice.
 
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WJK

WJK

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Sales and networking. Truth be told, I am painfully introverted. Public speaking gives me nightmares and networking is incredibly hard for me. Cold calling even more so.



This as well. Trying to work on shattering this belief that I don't deserve to be rich.
Truth is: There is enough riches available in the world for everyone. Abundance mentality ;)

Another truth: I need to step out of my comfort zone more and just practice those skills. The only way to get better is to consistently practice.
Your fear of interacting with others is very common. May I suggest that you think about them, rather than guessing what they are thinking about you... And, getting good at those encounters is like getting good at math -- it takes a lot of practice. But, there's a secret. Everyone likes to talk about himself. They will think you are the best conversationalist IF you ask them questions and get them talking about their favorite subject -- themselves.

About being rich or having that mindset... You're right. There's enough to go around. Your challenge is to decide how you define being "rich". Do you really need more, or do you need to enjoy and better appreciate what you all ready have? And if you do feel that you do need to go out and get more, how much more? How much is enough -- or too much? And by whose standards? How will you know when you have enough? And enough of what? What are your benchmarks? Do you measure your results by quality or quantity? Your answers to these questions will change as you grow older. It's interesting to go back and see my answers from the past versus my answers now. Good luck!
 

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B. Cole

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My limitations are:

Other people.

Elaboration: If everybody moved with the pace and enthusiasm that I have for my business, I would have achieved product availability in the fall if 2018, sold a billion units, went on Shark Tank and called Kevin a cockroach in the wine industry, and bought Necker Island from Richard Branson.

But since they don’t - one painful, impatient day at a time, I’m getting to market. I swear people remind me daily why I do almost everything myself.
 

Timmy C

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My limitations are:

Other people.

Elaboration: If everybody moved with the pace and enthusiasm that I have for my business, I would have achieved product availability in the fall if 2018, sold a billion units, went on Shark Tank and called Kevin a cockroach in the wine industry, and bought Necker Island from Richard Branson.

But since they don’t - one painful, impatient day at a time, I’m getting to market. I swear people remind me daily why I do almost everything myself.
Yeh I second this to!

Started to read your progress thread to :)

Keep it up.

Timmy.
 

The Abundant Man

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Sales and networking. Truth be told, I am painfully introverted. Public speaking gives me nightmares and networking is incredibly hard for me. Cold calling even more so.



This as well. Trying to work on shattering this belief that I don't deserve to be rich.
Truth is: There is enough riches available in the world for everyone. Abundance mentality ;)

Another truth: I need to step out of my comfort zone more and just practice those skills. The only way to get better is to consistently practice.
According to the CIA, the total amount is $80 trillion if you include "broad money."
 

The Abundant Man

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So, the question remains. What are yours?


The word limits does not exist in my dictionary.

If I impose a limit on myself, I'm just making excuses.

I do have plateaus such as I should be more disciplined each day. I did not finish reading my book last week. That is a plateau. That is setback.

As in Dr. Carol Dwecks Mindset, we need to change from having a fixed mindset(I suck at math. I'm going to fail my test) to a growth mindset(I may not be good at math but I can get better. If I study hard I will ace that test)

No limits. Get rid of them. Only plateaus and challenges. Obstacles to conquer.

I did not make enough cold calls last week. I will do more cold calls and emails this week. Over 150 is my goal.
 

Brian Suh

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I’ve been doing a personal inventory looking for assumptions that I have accepted as stone cold truths. It all sounds lofty? No, not really. They are silly limitations I stopped questioning long ago – a string of self-imposed personal handicaps and unforced errors. We all have them.

We think we’re good at this -- and can’t do that. We were born with XXXX. Are we lacking YYYY? What?

It all goes back to the elephant in the room. It’s all in the training. When a handler gets a baby elephant, he ties a rope around the baby’s leg. The other end is tied to a tree or a peg. No matter how hard the baby struggles, the elephant can’t get loose from that rope. Over time he stops trying. Later when the elephant is grown, the handler ties him in the same way. The adult elephant has no idea that he could break that rope with a flick of his huge leg and walk away.

We’re each have a lot in common that baby elephant, struggling at the end of his confining rope. The issues we fight when we’re young can become our self-imposed adulthood handicaps and limitations.

For example:

How many people have decided that they just aren’t good at math? How can you handle money or run a business without math? Isn’t that our scoreboard?

How many of us assume that we are NOT good at dealing with people? With whom are you going to work—monkeys? How are you going to attract your customers?

How about those who have a chip on their shoulder? Each has their long list of reasons why they can’t succeed. And failure is sure never their fault…

Think about it. What’s your story and when did you decide these issues are your truth? What are your self-imposed handicaps and assumptions?
That I can't do anything I can put my mind to. The biggest enemy is yourself and the mindsets that OTHERS want you to be in. Who says you cant be great? Who says that you cant live the life of your dreams? I PROMISE YOU IN THE HEART OF HEARTS that there is a kid deep deep in your soul that can't be removed that was BUILT to win and have the dream they've always wanted. But years of saying yes to others which automatically means saying no to yourself conditions you to sacrifice those dreams. For virtue? For honor? For the sake of your family and friends? who says? Your life is your own and only then can you be a blessing towards others. If you aren't happy with your life HOW IN GODS NAME are you going to make someone else happy? Make yourself happy and your dreams come true first then focus on others.

All these limitations NEED to be eradicated. The best way for me is to hit the gym and get a new PR or see changes in my body. It reminds me that I control my life and that I decide what goes down. LETS DO THIS.
 

B. Cole

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Yeh I second this to!

Started to read your progress thread to :)

Keep it up.

Timmy.
Been watching yours as well! Keep kicking a$$! :cool:
 

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