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What are the best ways to avoid a question without being rude or edgy?

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Ayanle Farah

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I have a problem, I like to be transparent, that's how I live but there are somethings I want to keep to myself depending on who I'm talking to and if I'm asked a specific question I tend to give information too easily.

My solution is usually to try avoiding the person asking the nosy questions because I know I'll give away too much and the only way I know is to basically tell them it's none of their business.

However, I don't want to be edgy, certain times I need to keep somethings private without offending the other person.

This happened at an event a few hours ago which is why I made this thread because I finally recognized it's a problem I have to fix.

Although I really don't like them, when I got home I started looking at videos on politicians answering questions and I have to admire their ability to move around a question and keep things ambiguous.

I need that in my personal life.

How do you go about keeping nosy people at bay?
 

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It's not rude to not answer a question. Saying something along the lines of "Sorry, but that's something I'd rather not share" just is what it is.

Answer what you want. Don't answer what you don't want. No one on this forum is offended for progress threads not sharing what they're doing. People understand. Same with questions that shouldn't be answered.

On the other hand, what's rude is not answering questions that aren't secrets or at no detriment to you for answering.
 

masterneme

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Whatever you do some people will be offended, that's the world we live in now, just be polite about keeping your privacy so when it happens you will know that you didn't do anything wrong.
 

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I do only what I want to do.

If I don't like your question I just don't answer it. Literally skip right past it as if it didn't exist.
 
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Ayanle Farah

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I do only what I want to do.

If I don't like your question I just don't answer it. Literally skip right past it as if it didn't exist.
That's the goal, if you don't want to answer a question, don't answer it.

Isn't that inappropriate though depending on the setting and the person asking the question and the question itself?
 

Vigilante

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That's the goal, if you don't want to answer a question, don't answer it.

Isn't that inappropriate though depending on the setting and the person asking the question and the question itself?
Might be that the question itself is inappropriate, and that's a great response.
 

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I agree with all the responses so far. I think it is important to look at the person asking, and the context.

If the person asking generally means well, doesn't always ask nosy pushy questions, is usually respectful: then you have a one time, probably accidental violation of your healthiest boundaries for your life. A very simple way to respond would be, "I'm flattered that you care enough to ask, but that's of my business/life/relationships/family/medical history that I only feel comfortable discussing with the people who are already involved. Is there something else that you'd like to talk about?"

If the person is relentlessly pushy/nosy, then you might need to push back directly. "For me, I get to feel respected when people honor that there are some things I'm ready to discuss with some people, and other things I'd rather keep to myself for now. Maybe I draw the line closer in than some other people do, but it's my right to do that, and I'm a psychologically healthy adult who does that in a way that works for me. So if we're going to continue to have conversations, I need to have you respect that. There's no good reason to not respect my own boundaries that I find comfortable for me in my own life. Could you have some peace of mind about respecting my own choices here? And with that respect, is there something else that you'd like to talk about?"
 

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