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OFF-TOPIC The true Darwin award winners

Discussion in 'Off Topic: Sports, Funnies, Pop-Culture' started by sthubbar, May 16, 2018.

  1. sthubbar
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    sthubbar Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER

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    The common understanding of who deserves a "Darwin Award", is someone who dies because of their stupidity.

    The actual winners of the "Darwin Award" is anyone that dies without breeding.

    So these are some of the most likely actual "Darwin Award" winners:

    - Aisha Tyler
    - Ann Coulter
    - Ann-Margret
    - Betty White
    - Bo Derek
    - Chelsea Handler
    - Chrisopher Walken
    - Condoleezza Rice
    - Debbie Harry
    - Diane Sawyer
    - Dolly Parton
    - Ellen DeGeneres
    - Fran Drescher
    - Helen Mirren
    - Hodo Kotb
    - Jennifer Aniston
    - John Cusack
    - Jon Hamm
    - Kathy Bates
    - Lisa Lampanelli
    - Liza Minnelli
    - Margaret Cho
    - Marisa Tomei
    - Matt Dillon
    - Megan Mullaley
    - Mickey Rourke
    - Pam Grier
    - Patrick Swayze
    - Renee Zellweger
    - Star Jones
    - Stevie Nicks
    - Stockard Channing
    - Tyra Banks
    - Winona Ryder

    No need to expand the list. It is just interesting that death is associated with the Darwin Award when in reality it is lack of procreation that wins the award.
     
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  2. theag
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    theag Most Aggressive Guy on the Internet on the Planet Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR

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    Ok
     
  3. Waspy
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    Waspy Float like a butterfly Read Millionaire Fastlane Speedway Pass

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    Right...
     
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  4. Longinus
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    Longinus Gold Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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  5. TinyOldLady
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    To your bedrooms, everyone. Let's breed :rofl:
     
  6. Kris Eire
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    I would take into account that many people are infertile. Not everybody who wants child will have one. This is a sad truth - I have many patients who go for IVF or some other form of assisted reproduction and not all of them succeed.
    Besides not everybody have to have kids, it's a personal choice. These little pests are very hard work, 24/7. I have 3 kids and sometimes it is not funny at all.
    Also many people should not have kids, they abuse them, treat like garbage and sometimes murder. It is better when some people don't have kids.
     
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  7. Ayanle Farah
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    Ayanle Farah Bronze Contributor Speedway Pass

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    What if you die before you have a chance to breed? Also I've seen parent who deserve this award because of their sheer stupidity.
     
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  8. sthubbar
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    sthubbar Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER

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    Yes, unfortunately evolution doesn't care. :(
     
  9. Get Right
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    Get Right Platinum Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    Ok, so are you creating a website to leverage this information? What are some ways you could make an interface that would make you the $20k/year you want?
     
  10. rollerskates
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    rollerskates Silver Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass

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    o_Oo_Oo_Oo_Oo_Oo_Oo_Oo_Oo_Oo_Oo_O
     
  11. jasoncuellar123
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    jasoncuellar123 I’m probably awake. Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    #landfill
     
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  12. MJ DeMarco
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    MJ DeMarco Raving Lunatic Staff Member Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR Summit Attendee

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    Admin Post
    Folks this is in the OFF-TOPIC section. So consider it water-cooler conversation.

    Marissa Tomei? What a shame!
     
  13. G-Man
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    G-Man Legendary Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR

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    If you people start breeding in my water cooler, I'm outta here.
     
  14. sthubbar
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    sthubbar Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER

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    [
    @MJ DeMarco, you took the words out of my mouth, thank you. Ditto, on Marissa Tomei, and to think George Costanza just missed the chance to take her off this list. Caah..STANZA! :smile2:
     
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  15. Get Right
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    Get Right Platinum Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    My apologies, I was trying to show that you can make a fastlane business out of anything.
     
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  16. ZF Lee
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    ZF Lee Gold Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    [​IMG]
     
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  17. Paul Schuyler
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    Paul Schuyler Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER

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    Hey wait a minute. With technology you can freeze eggs or sperm which can produce offspring at some point in the future (i.e. after your death) so I would not agree with this. Anyone in this business BTW? :)

    Christopher Walken for example might have been a closet obsessive sperm donor his entire life who might, at some future date, yield an entire race of Christopher Walkens.

    And lets not even bring up Cloning.
     
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  18. Hyrum
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    Hyrum Bronze Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    I think your understanding of Darwinism is lacking, to say the least. The theory of natural selection refers to the propagation of positive traits and the removal of negative traits of a species as a whole. It has nothing to do with an individual organism's procreation.
    Plus, everyone you listed has some (arguably) very positive traits. Therefore, our species as a whole is slightly weaker by the removal of their positive traits from the gene pool. So I don't see how very desirable people not passing along their genes is considered a "winner".
     
  19. lowtek
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    lowtek Gold Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass Summit Attendee

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    Shame about patrick swayze. He was a talented actor, and by all accounts a decent man.
     
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  20. Raoul Duke
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    Raoul Duke May be Vader some day later Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    Personally, I can now sleep better at night. Thanks @sthubbar for this thought provoking thread.

    [​IMG]
     
  21. biophase
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    biophase Legendary Contributor I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR Summit Attendee

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    This makes absolutely no sense to me. You are saying that the people on this list won the Darwinism award by not breeding, implying that should not further their DNA due to survival of the fittest or smartest.

    How does lack of procreation win the award? If anything it’s the opposite of Darwinism when good genes aren’t passed along.
     
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  22. SquatchMan
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    SquatchMan Gold Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    This is the opposite of Darwinism. This is more the point of Idiocracy.

    "
    Evolution does not necessarily reward intelligence. With no natural predators to thin the herd. It began to simply reward those that reproduce the most..."

    Opening scene included below:



    I don't see how natural selection has "nothing to do with an individual organism's procreation."

    That's just silly. The theory boils down to "individuals best adapted to their environments are more likely to survive and reproduce."
     
    Last edited: May 19, 2018 at 8:57 AM
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  23. Late Bloomer
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    Late Bloomer Silver Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane Speedway Pass

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    I sure hope this isn't the first thread Elon Musk clicks on when he visits the forum...
     
  24. fhs8
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    I could care less about which celebrities ended up having kids or not. Same goes for the cars they drive or what they ate for lunch today.
     
  25. sthubbar
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    sthubbar Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER

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    Bingo! The "winners" are actually the losers. Just as the "loser" on The Biggest Loser is actually the winner.
     

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