Still fighting with slowlane after a wake up punch

[drut]

Hello!

I will try to keep it short and simple. English is not my native language so please forgive me grammar mistakes.

I was raised in a slowlane family - no one even thought of trying starting a business. My parents work entire lives in their first companies and that was the example I was given through my childhood until I went to the university. I didn't know what should I do in my life, so I picked programming as my primary skill - it was easier to get well paid job. Since I'd started working everything was giving me a signal that I this is not the way my life should look like.

First job - big corporation - you're supposed to build tiny part of a huge software that you will never see in action. Get requirements, do your stuff, go to the meeting, read emails about company's success and how awesome it is to work here. Sit 8 hours even if there is nothing to do. I managed to stay there a year - that job was the best example of trading time for money.

Second job - small company - better at first. You can do things your way as long as they work. Smaller projects where you can see how your software is working. Direct contact with your boss. During that time I read Kiyosaki's book - I realized that there is another way. I started to watch how my boss was managing his business to learn something. It was terrible - he was messy and he was the money chaser. Once I got an email from his client with a document that looked like requirements for the project we were working on. It turned out that there was also payment information there and I saw how much my work was really worth. My boss paid me 1/10 of what he was getting for my work. That was sad especially that my salary was split into 3 parts to avoid taxes. But it wasn't enough - we got a project that was paid in advance, but with some regulations - employees had to get fixed pay each month. My boss told us it is too much (he said sth like: "you don't need this much money since coding is your hobby and working is fun") and we were supposed to return him 1/3 of our new salary secretly after payday - that meant that we were paying taxes for full salary but getting less. That was really f*cked up and that was my "F*ck this event". I would have to be an idiot not to wake up after that punch in the face.

I started a business and tried to design websites. Thanks to my wife I had a few clients (I'm bad at sales and communication). Since I was learning web stuff I couldn't charge too much and I had to get another job. I found another corporation - much better that the first one. I worked over 16h a day and I was exhausted - got no life. My business wasn't going well so I decided to quit. I stayed with my "safe" corporation job for 3 years feeling that this is wrong. Then I found MJ's book - after reading it was clear for me why I failed with my business - I think I had made all possible mistakes there without realizing it and I wasn't stubborn enough to look for solutions.

I'm 30 so I feel that this is the high time to get to work! I've wasted so much time but crying over spilt milk won't bring me anything. I'm still struggling with finding the right idea that I'll believe in and that will suck me in. Or should I go with first reasonable idea I'll get (not necessarily that I will feel that this is it - what I want to do)?

I know I'm still a slowlaner but I'll do my best to bring value to this community!

 

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[jon.a]

Huuf kuc.