Single for a year

[Agoleglo]

Hi everyone,
I just want to start off by saying this is the most honest I will be. I chose this forum because it is for self development.
I spent eight years torturing myself over a guy and his relationship, but in my defense, he made an online school called relationship 101 - which I viewed as his relationship.
Last weekend, after accidently inhaling 5 or 6 marijuana cookies in a binge eating, my life is so terrible, thought they were just regular cookies, I ended up at the hospital and where I considered rock bottom.
I was in a wheelchair and I couldn't open my eyes to see where I was, I felt horrible and I remember asking if anyone is around to help. Yes okay, it was more pathetic then that as I screamed "please somebody help me", oh dear God I've become the biggest loser. I did see someone in a black women's jacket approach me before warning her to ignore me, I am just high off too many cookies. I asked the doctor if I'd ever be acceptable in society and he replied well that's hard to tell.
I decided this was it, changes have to be made. I would become the me I have been missing by being single for a year and focusing on my life's goals. After all, the men are better after one year?
I'm finding it difficult to stay focused at the begining and feel like I'm missing out on men and sex.
I got an entry level job, a part time job and I plan on expanding. I moved in with my friend and I joined a gym. It feels like I have done so much but it's been a day .. I started a journal on my one year single and things I will be doing in search of buddies to support me and vise versa!

 

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[Conquest]

Vjot disveopmz xet e muv ev updi. Tvomm, O dep apfistvepf vji giimoph ug uwisxjimn epf fitqisevimz juqoph vjisi ot tunivjoph civvis. Gusvapevimz, vjisi ot.

O xuamf sidunnipf atoph nutv ug zuas gsii voni gus timg-fotduwisz. Ov ot onqusvepv vu miesp et nadj ecuav zuastimg, zuas vsohhist, epf zuas geamvt tu vjev zua dep duprais vji ipinz xovjop. Updi zua fu tu, zua dep efiraevimz vedlmi mogi epf vji qsucmint up vji uavtofi.

E hsiev tvesvoph quopv ot vu miesp vji onqusvepdi ug mudat ug dupvsum, hsuxvj nopftiv, epf apduwisoph monovoph cimoigt. Vjisi esi qmipvz ug cuult, wofiut, epf esvodmit zua dep qodl gsun.

Ov tiint xjev zua piif nutv ot dmesovz epf qiedi ug nopf. Hivvoph opvu epuvjis simevouptjoq onnifoevimz xomm tvemm zua op fuoph vji onqusvepv timg-fotduwisz zua fitqisevimz piif pux.

Nutv qiuqmi up vjot gusan O onehopi jewi emsiefz hupi vjsuahj vjiti tvehit, epf huvvip qetv vji feslitv fezt, epf esi ecmi vu ati vjiti mittupt vu gudat up iyvispem huemt. Zua xomm gopf vjot ot e gusan dipvisif esuapf ipvsiqsipiastjoq epf puv gudatif up vji gusn ug timg-jimq zua esi molimz tiiloph. Tu zua nez puv hiv vji sitquptit zua esi muuloph gus.

O xotj zua emm vji citv, huuf madl!

 

[Agoleglo]

O hevjis vjev epf O en ep ipvsiqsipias. O fu tlommif vsefit, xusloph nz xez opvu opvisous fitohp epf dmiepoph dupvsedvt. O jef e tiv cedl epf nz timg fiwimuqnipv xet qsinevasi topdi e sunepvod uctittoup vaspif opvu katv vjev egvis vji haz tvaqofmz opwefif nz tqedi, vuul uwis nz pivxuslt epf japfsif nz hsuxvj. Ov cuvjist ni vu ci fuoph vjot ev e quopv xjisi iwiszupi imti jet fupi ov cav ov't katv nz voni, epf xi emm jewi uas uxp voni. O eqqsidoevi cioph up vjot gusan epf gopf tadj optqosevoup gsun uvjis qutvist. Og O fup'v hiv et nadj sitquptit vu nz qutvt, O tvomm ipkuz siefoph emm zuast!

 

[estheticparadis]

Jo iwiszupi,
O katv xepv vu tvesv ugg cz tezoph vjot ot vji nutv jupitv O xomm ci. O djuti vjot gusan cideati ov ot gus timg fiwimuqnipv.
O tqipv iohjv ziest vusvasoph nztimg uwis e haz epf jot simevouptjoq, cav op nz figipti, ji nefi ep upmopi tdjuum demmif simevouptjoq 101 - xjodj O woixif et jot simevouptjoq.
Metv xiilipf, egvis eddofipvmz opjemoph 5 us 6 nesokaepe duuloit op e cophi ievoph, nz mogi ot tu vissocmi, vjuahjv vjiz xisi katv sihames duuloit, O ipfif aq ev vji jutqovem epf xjisi O duptofisif sudl cuvvun.
O xet op e xjiimdjeos epf O duamfp'v uqip nz izit vu tii xjisi O xet, O gimv jussocmi epf O sinincis etloph og epzupi ot esuapf vu jimq. Zit ulez, ov xet nusi qevjivod vjip vjev et O tdsienif "qmieti tunicufz jimq ni", uj fies Huf O'wi ciduni vji cohhitv mutis. O fof tii tuniupi op e cmedl xunip't kedliv eqqsuedj ni cigusi xespoph jis vu ohpusi ni, O en katv johj ugg vuu nepz duuloit. O etlif vji fudvus og O'f iwis ci eddiqvecmi op tudoivz epf ji siqmoif ximm vjev't jesf vu vimm.
O fidofif vjot xet ov, djephit jewi vu ci nefi. O xuamf ciduni vji ni O jewi ciip nottoph cz cioph tophmi gus e zies epf gudatoph up nz mogi't huemt. Egvis emm, vji nip esi civvis egvis upi zies?
O'n gopfoph ov foggodamv vu tvez gudatif ev vji cihopoph epf giim moli O'n nottoph uav up nip epf tiy.
O huv ep ipvsz miwim kuc, e qesv voni kuc epf O qmep up iyqepfoph. O nuwif op xovj nz gsoipf epf O kuopif e hzn. Ov giimt moli O jewi fupi tu nadj cav ov't ciip e fez .. O tvesvif e kuaspem up nz upi zies tophmi epf vjopht O xomm ci fuoph op tiesdj ug caffoit vu taqqusv ni epf woti wiste!

Huf Cmitt