Seeking some advice on my relationship

[Gabbe18]

Hey guys,

So I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for about a year and we have been living together for a few months. Things are really great and I really love her! We get along well, have a similar sense of humor, have similar values, and help each other improve and get better by for example working out together. We do argue sometimes but usually those are very productive and resolved easily rather than just throwing useless insults at each other. She is also extremely caring and even made me breakfast this morning!

There is just one thing and that's that our dreams don't align. I have a dream of the fastlane while she has the dream of being a cabin crew/flight attendant. I have tried showing her the fastlane and financial freedom and she even decided to start her own very small business. But her real dream is to be a flight attendant.

This makes me a little bit worried that it might cause problems down the road when our dreams don't align like that. I am fairly inexperienced when it comes to romantic relationships so I wanted to ask people who have been in long-term relationships what your advice would be? Am I exaggerating or is this a valid concern? Maybe our relationship can function for decades without having the same dream?

Ideally, I don't want to lose her or end the relationship because everything is so good with her right now but I also don't want to be miserable in 20-30 years because I stayed with her.

Anyways, any advice is appreciated!

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Lyzmin]

There is just one thing and that's that our dreams don't align. I have a dream of the fastlane while she has the dream of being a cabin crew/flight attendant. I have tried showing her the fastlane and financial freedom and she even decided to start her own very small business. But her real dream is to be a flight attendant.

You're talking about business dreams. What about personal dreams? Start a family? Core values?

My girlfriend's dream is to become a surgeon and she will probably do that all of her life. Not my dream, my vision is Fastlane like MJ discribes in his book. We support each other in every way.

So a better question to ask is, does she support you in everything you do?
Why don't you support her in the same way?

Sounds to me as a flight attendant she won't work a day in her life because of her love for the job.

Am I exaggerating or is this a valid concern? Maybe our relationship can function for decades without having the same dream?

My conclusion is definitely positive. As long as you're able to give each the freedom to pursue your own goals.
Just my perspective on the situation

Good luck to you! You sound like a lucky guy getting breakfast every morning!

 

[Gabbe18]

You're talking about business dreams. What about personal dreams? Start a family? Core values?

My girlfriend's dream is to become a surgeon and she will probably do that all of her life. Not my dream, my vision is Fastlane like MJ discribes in his book. We support each other in every way.

That is a very good point! Thanks for the insight! I haven't thought about that!

In terms of personal dreams and core values, we are certainly on the same page. When it comes to starting a family I don't know everything yet. We haven't talked about that extensively since we have only been a couple for about a year.

Thanks for the feedback though!

 

[Two Dog]

There is just one thing and that's that our dreams don't align. I have a dream of the fastlane while she has the dream of being a cabin crew/flight attendant. I have tried showing her the fastlane and financial freedom and she even decided to start her own very small business. But her real dream is to be a flight attendant.

Supporting each others dreams is more important than sharing them. That's the "married twenty years" thought.

The other is noting she hasn't actually been a flight attendant, right? Dreams change all the time especially when you're just getting started and interacting with the real world. That's why the emphasis on supporting each other vs. any particular dream. No one really knows what they'll be doing next year much less 15-20 years from now.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[perchboy]

stop talking, start doing and let her be your personal flight attendant on your private jet in a few years

 

[SEBASTlAN]

Good luck achieving the fastlane dream with a distraction like that.

 

[WJK]

Hey guys,

So I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for about a year and we have been living together for a few months. Things are really great and I really love her! We get along well, have a similar sense of humor, have similar values, and help each other improve and get better by for example working out together. We do argue sometimes but usually those are very productive and resolved easily rather than just throwing useless insults at each other. She is also extremely caring and even made me breakfast this morning!

There is just one thing and that's that our dreams don't align. I have a dream of the fastlane while she has the dream of being a cabin crew/flight attendant. I have tried showing her the fastlane and financial freedom and she even decided to start her own very small business. But her real dream is to be a flight attendant.

This makes me a little bit worried that it might cause problems down the road when our dreams don't align like that. I am fairly inexperienced when it comes to romantic relationships so I wanted to ask people who have been in long-term relationships what your advice would be? Am I exaggerating or is this a valid concern? Maybe our relationship can function for decades without having the same dream?

Ideally, I don't want to lose her or end the relationship because everything is so good with her right now but I also don't want to be miserable in 20-30 years because I stayed with her.

Anyways, any advice is appreciated!

Take care of today. Support each other. The future has yet to be written.

Here's another thought. I have known some international flight attendants who have businesses on the side that dovetailed with their careers. One of them bought items in the counties where she visited on her flights to bring home. She sold them at a great profit. And she shipped them home for free by putting them into her suitcase.

Work on your relationship. Help her with her dream. Have her help you with yours. If she gets that job and you're married, you get to fly for free. Think of where that can take you!

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Gabbe18]

Thanks for all the feedback guys! Really appreciate it!

The other is noting she hasn't actually been a flight attendant, right?

She actually is a flight attendant right now and enjoys it which makes me happy.

 

[Gabbe18]

Good luck achieving the fastlane dream with a distraction like that.

Who said anything about distraction?

When I work on my business she respects that and leaves me alone.

She even helps me, for example when I have a sales call she poses as the prospect so I can practice my questioning skills and the overall call.