Question about fear, failure, efforts and mindset

[Deleted78083]

Hey,

I have never, in my life, done anything with 100% quality when there were chances to fail because I needed an excuse in case of failure.

The example is homework. Would I have invested 100% of efforts and got 7/10 while other kids got 10/10 with not nearly as much efforts invested as I had, it would have crushed me completely.

I didn't want the reason of my failure to be that I simply didn't have the capacities that others had.

I wanted it to be "you failed because you didn't work hard enough, and could have".

So I held back, and always has.

But I am sick of this now. I won't succeed at business if I keep on holding back.

This crippling fear of failure and of discovering that there are things I may simply never get because "I am not that good" scares the f*ck out of me.

Now, when people say failure is not as bad as it seems, my experience is opposite. The failures I have had felt worse than I had imagined.

I need to get out of this mindset now.

Any advice?

Thank you : )

 

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[Andreas Thiel]

Might be the wrong diagnosis. What if you have just embraced a convenient narrative around the usual mechanisms behind procrastination and resistance?

I know a lot of books that acknowledge the negative feeling that you describe ... feeling bad when you fail or don't perform well. Especially if you had a glimpse at what is possible ... so that the discrepancy is pure torture. If you read about rapid skill acquisition, for example, the authors will usually tell you that you have to get through the awkward phase where you feel bad about how you perform. Mission and Vision must push and pull you through this.

Not an expert on "War Of Art", but I think the way the book covers resistance is relevant in that context.

I think "So Good They Can't Ignore You" is the book with the best prescription: getting really good at something by investing enough time and continue reaping the rewards. Combine that with "The First 20 Hours" to secure the early wins as well.