partners...

[royalflush]

Moral lesson - don't partner with friends or family

Lesson learned

 

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[BUFFALOBT]

Crap...I was going to ask you to partner up!

 

[Ashten]

Those are learning experiences, no time wasted. If everything was a success from the first partner, what kind of good story would that be?

 

[CarrieW]

For years... I've had this business philosophy that I will never have a business partner. A lot of businesses fail because of business partners. One of the partners is usually incompetent or lazy to do his/her job.

And yet, I still tried to get my brother as my business partner. I thought family was an exception. But before I explain what happened, let me just rant about my history with business partnerships:

My first business partner is my best friend from college. We were supposed to do a language learning website, but then he bailed on me after I did all the research. Eventually I implemented the idea, but it didn't gain any steam so I shut down the website.

Then, my close friend from an organization I joined became my business partner. We were supposed to make iPhone Apps, but he eventually bailed as well.

Then, my childhood best friend became my partner. We were supposed to make a trade show company. I was prepared to go all in. But he told me that I have nothing to offer on the table. I felt his greed, and his mistrust so I decided not to partner with him. Besides, he's really lazy. 2 years have passed, and he still haven't implemented his idea.

Fast forward to the present, I taught my brother everything I knew about business and marketing. We even started a business that sold 2,000 pcs of our product. But eventually, he became insubordinate. He didn't want to do any work, he became lazy, and he went back to his old habits. He now spends all his time playing video games. He bailed on me and decided to go back to the slow lane and work for someone else. He didn't even thank me.

Arghh... so much of my time has been wasted.

No more business partners. Family members are no exception.

I don't think that its all "partners" I just think you did a crappy job of picking them

 

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[Ashten]

I don't think that its all "partners" I just think you did a crappy job of picking them

Oooh Bullseye!!

 

[Michael W.]

I don't think that its all "partners" I just think you did a crappy job of picking them

This x 1000. You must Both bring something to the table, if your both coders that's useless, one coder one pitchman etc.

Will rep you up Carrie when I'm at my shop that I've run with my partner who has been my best friend for 18 years.

 

[royalflush]

I don't think that its all "partners" I just think you did a crappy job of picking them

People are unpredictable.

Even if they look like they're the perfect partner, they aren't.

I prefer JV partners rather than business partners. At least you only have to work with JV partners on a per project basis.

 

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[Ashten]

People are unpredictable.

Even if they look like they're the perfect partner, they aren't.

I prefer JV partners rather than business partners. At least you only have to work with JV partners on a per project basis.

well maybe you should do a screening process. They must have the same excitement & drive that you have. If you see them in the slow-lane, it's time to flip on your blinker and rev up that engine.

 

[royalflush]

well maybe you should do a screening process. They must have the same excitement & drive that you have. If you see them in the slow-lane, it's time to flip on your blinker and rev up that engine.

The problem is that they don't show their true selves when you're not in business. Once the work laid out, that's when they become lazy. Once the money is laid out, that's when they become greedy.

 

[Ashten]

I did screen them. They were excited about the business plan. My best friend for 12 years is an entrepreneur.

The problem is that they don't show their true selves when you're not in business. Once the work laid out, that's when they become lazy. Once the money is laid out, that's when they become greedy.

Well that is true. I would gain some relationships on the forum, at least you know most everyone has drive & knows true fundamentals of entrepreneurship, "Everyone happy from the top of the top, to the bottom of the bottom."

 

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[CarrieW]

People are unpredictable.

Even if they look like they're the perfect partner, they aren't.

I prefer JV partners rather than business partners. At least you only have to work with JV partners on a per project basis.

Looks can be deceiving... you need to KNOW not perceive what they can do. that's your problem right there. also you should look for someone STRONGER than you are. not someone who is a novice too... that is unless you have that rare connection with someone where it all just works out and you do everything together. that typically doesn't happen...

 

[Mattie]

I agree. If they're not higher in mindset and action than you, most likely they are the wrong partners. Look at their past history with success. Do they follow through with actions.

 

[Bimmer]

I would personally never partner up with a family member or a very good friend that I know for a while, like you did.
When money is in the game and hard decisions need ot be made people change

 

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[firmwear]

I did screen them. They were excited about the business plan. My best friend for 12 years is an entrepreneur. My brother worked hard during the first 8 months but he got lazy afterwards.

The problem is that they don't show their true selves when you're not in business. Once the work laid out, that's when they become lazy. Once the money is laid out, that's when they become greedy.

The conventional wisdom is is, "Never do business with friends or family."

And in your original post, name one of your partners that was not friend nor family.

Also, you say that, "they don't show their true selves when you're not in business." and in your original post you say, "he became lazy, and he went back to his old habits..."

Yeah, you are either:
1) a terrible liar,
2) incapable of learning from your mistakes,
3) a drama-queen.

Get off your cross, dude.

 

[royalflush]

Nevermind. This is not worth stressing about

 

[Formless]

Firmwear, your kind of post is one of the reasons why this forum can be annoying. The incoming rant is not aimed entirely at you, but at a trend of insulting people and not letting them vent/express themselves under the pretense of 'personal responsibility.' If you don't like 'whining' then get the F*ck outta here and go look at more hyperbolic motivational pictures!

People get frustrated, get a little lost, sometimes get F*cked by others, which perhaps was preventable, in hindsight.

And then everyone starts attack the OP. 'Stop whining, stop having bad experiences, stop making mistakes, rah rah.' (Both literal and implied meanings)

Nobody is as flawless in real-life as they show on here. And this forum is becoming more and more filled with assholes, who take a concept and push it to its limit. You see this with 'personal responsibility/positivity' being turned into:

'Do not have, experience or express negative thoughts.'

Or 'Passion without demand for your product won't make you rich' automatically means:

'If you do anything for personal enjoyment/gain (which ALL of us are here for BTW) you will fail.'

Its silly. I haven't verbalized it as well as I'd hoped to, but it doesn't matter, since everyone will stick with their own persuasions anyway.

 

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[CarrieW]

Firmwear, your kind of post is one of the reasons why this forum can be annoying. The incoming rant is not aimed entirely at you, but at a trend of insulting people and not letting them vent/express themselves under the pretense of 'personal responsibility.' If you don't like 'whining' then get the F*ck outta here and go look at more hyperbolic motivational pictures!

People get frustrated, get a little lost, sometimes get F*cked by others, which perhaps was preventable, in hindsight.

And then everyone starts attack the OP. 'Stop whining, stop having bad experiences, stop making mistakes, rah rah.' (Both literal and implied meanings)

Nobody is as flawless in real-life as they show on here. And this forum is becoming more and more filled with assholes, who take a concept and push it to its limit. You see this with 'personal responsibility/positivity' being turned into:

'Do not have, experience or express negative thoughts.'

Or 'Passion without demand for your product won't make you rich' automatically means:

'If you do anything for personal enjoyment/gain (which ALL of us are here for BTW) you will fail.'

Its silly. I haven't verbalized it as well as I'd hoped to, but it doesn't matter, since everyone will stick with their own persuasions anyway.

I agree with your post. I have seen it and experienced it here. there is a way to point out the issues and what could have been done better without being "that way" then there are the people who solely flame people without even the disguise of it being advice. blatently saying and what value does this provide to an opinion for example... the value it provides is to anyone who cares to know what my opinion is

 

[royalflush]

Firmwear, your kind of post is one of the reasons why this forum can be annoying. The incoming rant is not aimed entirely at you, but at a trend of insulting people and not letting them vent/express themselves under the pretense of 'personal responsibility.' If you don't like 'whining' then get the F*ck outta here and go look at more hyperbolic motivational pictures!

People get frustrated, get a little lost, sometimes get F*cked by others, which perhaps was preventable, in hindsight.

And then everyone starts attack the OP. 'Stop whining, stop having bad experiences, stop making mistakes, rah rah.' (Both literal and implied meanings)

Nobody is as flawless in real-life as they show on here. And this forum is becoming more and more filled with assholes, who take a concept and push it to its limit. You see this with 'personal responsibility/positivity' being turned into:

'Do not have, experience or express negative thoughts.'

Or 'Passion without demand for your product won't make you rich' automatically means:

'If you do anything for personal enjoyment/gain (which ALL of us are here for BTW) you will fail.'

Its silly. I haven't verbalized it as well as I'd hoped to, but it doesn't matter, since everyone will stick with their own persuasions anyway.

Amen to that buddy

 

[firmwear]

Amen to that buddy

I am sorry. I took my criticism too far and made it very personal.

I hope you keep posting here and do not let me deter from you further sharing your experiences.

 

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[CarrieW]

I am sorry. I took my criticism too far and made it very personal.

I hope you keep posting here and do not let me deter from you further sharing your experiences.

rep +

it takes a hell of a person to say something like this

 

[Vigilante]

OP. It appears that you deleted your original post. Fortunately, it was captured here by someone else, so someone (like me) coming along later can understand what the hell happened.

Please do not delete forum content. It makes it impossible to decipher, is against the forum rules, and wastes the time of people that come along later.

If you don't like the direction that a thread takes, drop it and it will fade off the first page into history.

That being said, I agree 100% with your original point and your conclusion.

 

[JAJT]

People are unpredictable.

I'm of the other school of thought that says people tend to very predictable. IMHO most people keep doing whatever it is they do. Path of least resistance and all that.

The trick is to judge them based on their past actions, not their words or enthusiasm.

The types of people who are always early or on time, give the tasks in front of them 100% and bring fresh ideas to the table all the time are going to be the (you guessed it) type of people who continue to do that within a business environment.

A lazy friend or family member who is always late, you have to remind 9 times to bring back a borrowed movie or book, and always says "I don't know, what do you think?" is going to keep being a lazy useless twat even if the idea of a business has them jumping on the tables and shouting about how excited and motivated they are to get it going.

People should never be trusted if it requires a change to how they normally act.

 

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[royalflush]

OP. It appears that you deleted your original post. Fortunately, it was captured here by someone else, so someone (like me) coming along later can understand what the hell happened.

Please do not delete forum content. It makes it impossible to decipher, is against the forum rules, and wastes the time of people that come along later.

If you don't like the direction that a thread takes, drop it and it will fade off the first page into history.

That being said, I agree 100% with your original point and your conclusion.

I thought it offended people because of the harsh comments. So I just removed it to steer clear from trolls.

 

[jon.a]

I thought it offended people because of the harsh comments. So I just removed it to steer clear from trolls.

I missed it, but leaving it up and just admitting that you worded it poorly might have been better.
Sometimes we make mistakes.
Too many refuse to acknowledge that.

 

[CarrieW]

I thought it offended people because of the harsh comments. So I just removed it to steer clear from trolls.

the point is not if it offended anyone, its that deleting posts compromises the integrity of the thead, others posts, and if it happens enough the forum itself.

you got a lot of good feedback. *maybe not what you wanted to hear. along with the harsh comments. without the context behind why the advice is given (or harsh comments) it is essentially useless...

 

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[Vigilante]

Disagreements happen. If we deleted threads based on trolls, we'd be back to zero threads. Carry on.

 

[tafy]

Yeah ok I read the original post and it doesnt offend in the slightest, dont be such a pussy!

I think the same as you, partners dont tend to work. If you can go it alone you should.

Hire out your weaknesses