Life

[Kdthelegend]

Life has pushed me toward being wealthy. I am 27 and I have noticed that up until this point my life has been about loss. I have lost my brother to murder, my dad two years after, and my best friend a week ago. This doesn't include all the other deaths that I have experienced in my life. I realize with my best friends death that life is to short. I have to go after what I want now.

I am in a situation that seems hopeless. I just moved back from Dallas Texas to Toledo, Ohio because I couldn't find a job. I spent three months going to interviews never to get hired. I realize that working a job is not how I'm going to get to my millions. But I need some money coming in to get my ebook business off the ground. All of these internet sites ask for a certain amount of money to sell your products every month. I can't afford to do that because I can't get a job.

Life has been hard for me. I don't have family that have businesses or good credit. My family comes from the hood. My parents got good jobs and moved us into a middle class neighborhood. My life has been a testament of struggle for these last 5 years. It's seem like no matter what I do I will not let myself get ahead. I moved to Dallas to change my life. I started out doing good and then once again I self sabotaged myself. Getting in a relationship with the wrong women and quitting my job thinking I would be able to get another one quickly.

I don't have connections, my credit isn't good, and every interview I go into I see a look of intimidation on the interviewers face. Being a 6 foot 8 black man has not did to good for me getting jobs. I don't understand why people of other races are so intimidated of a black man.

It's like I got all these things I been through in my life. These things were suppose to happen to crumble me. Instead, they have made me stronger and more aggressive. I have changed alot of my beliefs about how the world works. Instead of living in a fantasy I now live in reality. I am officially at the point where I am willing to do anything to get money. I feel like for all the loss and pain I took in my life I must be repaid billions. I am set to go out here in this world and take it. When I say take it I mean by legit business practices. Things have to get better for me or eventually I will snap. I know me and I know that I have a side of me can cause me to do real bad things if I feel like I'm pushed in a corner.

I mean I grew up with an alcoholic father and all types of issues have stemmed from that I believe.

I am at home in my mothers house looking for jobs. No car no nothing. I know I am the fault for my life. I made all these choices. I just don't understand why I keep punishing myself. Why do I keep trying to cause myself more pain? Why am I trying to destroy myself?

Has anybody every been this low? How did you get out of this situation? If I can't a basic job I mean what the hell am I suppose to do? Go back to selling drugs and robbing people. I left that life behind me along time ago and I refuse to go back.

What could I do to get out of this situation I am in? What can I do to get my mind to help me on my mission to become a billionaire?

I just feel like my mind is not 100 percent behind me. I need my mind, my body, and my soul to be behind me to get to where I want to be.

I know that I need to find a mentor that has been through what I been through, and has reached the top.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[John C.]

Kd,

One thing you are going to need to do is change your outlook. You say, "I feel like for all the loss and pain I took in my life I must be repaid billions." That is a victim mentality - and as Nelson Mandela once said, "You will never meet a rich or happy victim." You must give up the victim mentality. The universe does not repay. You only get what you earn.

If you want to learn about someone who has been through some rough times and made it big, read The Imposter by Kip Kreiling. His life story should inspire you.

If you want another example, read about Oprah.

Stop chasing money and start finding out how you can make yourself more valuable.

We are all where we are in life because of the choices we have made. No one should blame anyone else for where they are in life - it is our choices that have brought us to where we are. And if you don't like where you are, you must change your choices.

Since you don't have a job, I would suggest you spend a few hours a day working on yourself. Read Kip's book, read The Hero's Choice by Roger Allen - learn how to make better choices. Read As a Man Thinketh by James Allen (you can get it free on the Internet). And read the Greatest Salesman in the World by Og Mandino.

If you read and internalize the ideas and concepts in these books, you will change the way you think. There is a great passage in The Return of the Rag Picker by Og Mandino - which he calls "For the Rest of My Life". Find a copy of that book and read that passage each and every day for 30 days. You will change your life.

Life/the world/the universe does not pick on people. Nor does it favor people. People make their own path in life. That is great news and bad news. Your life is totally up to you. Decide to change, decide to make a difference and the world favors you. Try to demand that the universe give you what you deserve and you will find tough going.

Life is totally up to you.

 

[Runum]

Too bad we didn't hook up while you were in Dallas. I have always believed that we are our own worst enemy. We all have negative habits that we have to overcome. It will be that way for the rest of your life. Even when you make your billions, you will have negative thoughts in the back of your head.

Sounds like to me you are trying to swallow the whole elephant at one time. It just won't work dude. You can only eat an elephant one bite at a time.

 

[Bozigian]

Yo man, at least you have decided that you want to make a change in your life and that is what counts. I think their are lots of people that have trouble getting jobs because of the economy and that other mumbo jumbo.

I am glad that you refused to go back to selling Mary Jane and C, and all that other crap.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Anybid]

Well no matter how bad you think your current situation is Kd, you have to start being aware of the good things that are going on in your life too.

This forum is the perfect example. Look at the replies and you have the most valuable advice you can get anywhere:

One thing you are going to need to do is change your outlook. You say, "I feel like for all the loss and pain I took in my life I must be repaid billions." That is a victim mentality - and as Nelson Mandela once said, "You will never meet a rich or happy victim." You must give up the victim mentality. The universe does not repay. You only get what you earn.

Stop chasing money and start finding out how you can make yourself more valuable.

We all have negative habits that we have to overcome.

You can only eat an elephant one bite at a time.

Here are some more thoughts that might help you:

• Nobody is born the "perfect entrepreneur" (in regards to origin, race, genes, character, family etc.)
• Try to turn your weaknesses into strengths (for example turn your anger into constructive passion to becoming a better person each day)
• Find ways to be helpful when ever you can (try not to focus too much on money)
• Count your blessings. Even if you think there are none, if you are healthy you already have the greatest gift anybody can have. You might want to read this article: How to Guarantee Yourself a Lifetime Of Wealth: 25 Mindsets to Protect Your Greatest Asset! :smxB:

 

[Brander]

I really empathise with you. What happened to your family members is terrible.

However, you are alive and while you have your health and your heart beating, things are not REALLY that bad. I see that you are a caring soul and as such we have a hard time dealing with the world sometimes. You need to look on the bright side - you are alive and anything can be done and improved.

You said "I don't understand why people of other races are so intimidated of a black man." This is only your perception, which might not have anything to do with reality. By walking around with this pre- conceived notion, you actually attract to yourself exactly the kind of people you don't want (said in another way - if you are looking for racism, you are probably going to find it, if you look for goodness, you are probably going to find it.). Look at yourself and see what you are good at and seek out people that are positive - everybody is an individual - do not prescribe some generic pre-conceived notion to everyone not being of your colour. If someone was judgemental, doesn't mean the next person is as well, in fact the vast majority is not - remember we are all individuals.

Good luck.

 

[Kdthelegend]

Thanks everybody you really said some stuff that I need to digest. My life has been hard but I haven't gave up. I have to get rid of this victim mentality. I'm working on getting back to Dallas by the end of this year. I know that I am going to make it I'm just tired of myself self sabotaging everything I do.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Runum]

Thanks everybody you really said some stuff that I need to digest. My life has been hard but I haven't gave up. I have to get rid of this victim mentality. I'm working on getting back to Dallas by the end of this year. I know that I am going to make it I'm just tired of myself self sabotaging everything I do.

>Tough love warning. Don't read this if you are not up to some harsh words.<

Glad you came back KD. I wasn't sure that you would.

Keep in mind that my point of view is from a old fart, white boy. I am a husband, father, teacher, and investor. I can only see things through my eyes. I do know that my reality is not the same for everyone. I can try to help you and get you to see things from another perspective but the choices you make are still up to you. You certainly don't have to come to Dallas to use what I will tell you.

First, I agree with the comment about the victim mentality. One reason I like this forum is that it is color and gender blind. I am originally from Mississippi and we left there during the 60's race riots. I was raised to be as racially prejudiced as anyone from the south could be. This forum and being a teacher has allowed me to put that behind me. However, you were the one that brought up "Being a 6 foot 8 black man has not did to good for me getting jobs. I don't understand why people of other races are so intimidated of a black man." You seem to see your height and race as a liability. I would also venture that you carry yourself in an intimidating fashion, invading comfort zones and intentionally towering over people. Subtle body language. You need to fine tune it and use it to your advantage.

One other thing, with your history, do you have a criminal background that is hurting you as well? If you do, you have to figure out a way to turn it into "a past life experience that taught you tough lessons." Emphasize that you have grown up since then and give some examples as to how.

When you go looking for a job, the first thing to understand is they owe you nothing, absolutely nothing. Life owes you nothing. You get what you sow. You have to dress for the part. You have to walk the walk. You have to carry yourself humble. You have to do homework BEFORE applying. Find out about the company, google them. Find out how you could help the company. Find out how they need you. Make some resumes before you head out. Carry a small stapler with you to staple the resume to their application. Carry a clipboard and pen with you to make it easy to fill out applications on the spot. When you meet the interviewer look them in the eye and shake their hand. Write their name down on your paper on your clipboard. Speak in complete sentences with no street slang. When you sit down, sit straight up and on the edge of your seat. Do not cross your legs, you are not there for a casual lunch. Maybe even lean forward a little, act interested. Glance at the pictures on the wall and on the desk. Find common ground with the interviewer, football, basketball, golf, tennis, family, children. Don't come off as a stalker, just casually mention "Cool, I see your kid played football, so did I in high school. Did you also play football?" Try to find something in common. When you fill out an application, give more than the minimum information. Do not make them guess.

I am not sure where you applied for jobs but I do know that all that stuff works to get a retail sales job because my kid just used it and turned down about 4 jobs before landing the one she chose.

You are going to have to clean up your grammar and language some. If you want a professional job you are going to have to speak professionally. If you want some classic examples in your race look at TD Jakes, Les Brown, Will Smith and Oprah. All of them can talk street slang when they want to but they also have the ability to speak well when needed.

Don't come back to Dallas with some grand illusion. When I said we could have hooked up while you were here, I meant that we could have lunches and some casual conversation. I might be able to point you in a direction to get started. I am not in a position to employ you or make your life easier. I will say that I believe Dallas' employment level is probably better than where you are now. It may even be cheaper to live here, not sure.

Do you know about Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs? It would do you some good to learn them. You need to quit thinking about being wealthy until you have met your basic needs. One step at a time.

You say that you have a hard time getting hired. Cut the tall black man excuse. Really drill down to why each one did not hire you. Were you wearing baggy pants, were you slurring your speech, were you acting like you really don't need a job?

You will have to do this same analysis when you are business building. You need to get past your own excuses and see what the other guy is seeing. That will help you get a job and grow a business.

I wish you well.

 

[valuegiver]

Are you saying if I don't get regular sex, I shouldn't be thinking about being wealthy?

Do you know about Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs? It would do you some good to learn them. You need to quit thinking about being wealthy until you have met your basic needs. One step at a time.

 

[valuegiver]

Read Catherine Ponder - The Dynamic Laws of Prosperity. Buy it on eBay.

What could I do to get out of this situation I am in? What can I do to get my mind to help me on my mission to become a billionaire?

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Runum]

I've been watching some of your videos. Interesting. I think you have some talent but I'm not really a good judge of that. I will say that I am not sure anything we say is going to have any affect on you. All you rap about in your vids is how bad things are. I'm not sure you really want out of where you are now.

Sorry for your losses. I wish you well on your journey to actualization.

 

[Bozigian]

From my experience. I always had a dirty mouth, I would drop the f bomb on every sentence I spoke. This is when I was in high school, language was not an issue here.

When I went to college, I noticed how different people were and it was no longer about talking.

If you meet a person and you say "whats up" in your street slang then your new acquiantence will become intimidated.

I remember this from my english class in college. Everyone started off like "hello my name is.... whats yours? what school do you come from?"

and one of the students said to me "whats up ese" in his street slang and I immediately noticed how un welcoming his words were even though I was used to the slang talk.

Now I wised up, I know how to talk to all people. Its extremely easy for me to make people comfortable with me if we talk for the first time.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------
The way you dress also can intimidate people. I had black saggy shorts, big oversized black sweaters and some people would be cautious of what they said to me becuase I guess my dressing style implied that of a gangsters.

Now, I dress casual and I dont wear nothing oversized anymore. I wised up

 

[Kdthelegend]

I come from the struggle so what I talk about in my music is what I know. I am tired of the struggle and I am ready to become rich. I don't have a criminal background I have no felonies. But, even if I did it should not stop me from becoming a new person and trying to change my life. I feel like people should be more secure with themselves and stop judging people on their past. Just cuz somebody has a criminal background doesn't mean they can't change and become a millionaire. Even if people thought I was intimidating off my first impression, I feel like if they talked to me they would see who I really am as a person. You can't judge a book by it's cover. Yeah I may seem intimidating but deep inside I'm a person who has integrity, who believes in being honest, and I'm a generous and caring person.

I will never talk like how some of you white people talk. This is not a racial comment by the way. I said it because I come from a different environment then you guys. I know how to speak eloquently. I have read over 5000 books in my life so I have a vocabulary and I know how to articulate what I am feeling. The way I do it will be different from everybody else because, I am different person who, has came from a totally different struggle then most of you.

I am who I am and I am willing to change, but not because of what other people think of me, but because of what I feel is right for me as a man. I will always be unconventional compared to everybody else that fits into the system. The reason why, is because I think for myself and I don't let other peoples opinions of me determine what I can become.

I make know excuses for who I am yet I know I need to change. I appreciate the advice from everybody. I need the tough love. I can change who I am to become rich. I am willing to do it and I appreciate you guys telling me how you think I could. But lets be honest unless you came from where I came from and became a success how can you lay out the path for me? You can't and I don't expect you to. I just wanted to hear what you guys had to say and I appreciate it.

I will take what you guys have giving me and use it to the best of my ability. I will get to my goal of being rich. It's only two ways I can do it. I can do it the right way or I can do it the wrong way. The reason I joined this forum is so you guys can show me the right way because all I have known in my life is the wrong way. I will get rich or die trying. My goal is to do it the right way and help as many people as I can, and not die in the process.

I will try to not be so intimidating. I know it's something that I am bringing on myself. I have to understand that just because I came from where I came from, It doesn't mean that I have to stay their. I need to move on and become the person I want to become. You are right, if I think that I have a intimidating presence then other people will think the same thing.

I have to change who I am but, I have to stay grounded in some of my morals and values.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[dnice]

KD, I checked out your youtube channel and I like your sound. I like the song Legend Out. (Maybe this can be your brand for your entertainment company!) I believe this song describes the success event as mentioned in MJs book. In this song you are a legend, a VIP, and have clout. Now to get to this event of being a legend or to Legend Out you must go through a process. This process includes changing the way you think, how you dress in certain settings, how you act and interact with the world beyond what you are familiar with. It sounds like you are now at a point that you want to change but it seems that you have reservations about making a total change for the better. You have talent and if you keep your mind focused on that talent and your business then you will succeed. One book that has been helpful in changing the way I view myself is Bill Bartmann's book: Billionaire: Secrets to Success. It includes a chapter specifically about changing the way you view yourself.

 

[Kdthelegend]

>Tough love warning. Don't read this if you are not up to some harsh words.<

Glad you came back KD. I wasn't sure that you would.

Keep in mind that my point of view is from a old fart, white boy. I am a husband, father, teacher, and investor. I can only see things through my eyes. I do know that my reality is not the same for everyone. I can try to help you and get you to see things from another perspective but the choices you make are still up to you. You certainly don't have to come to Dallas to use what I will tell you.

First, I agree with the comment about the victim mentality. One reason I like this forum is that it is color and gender blind. I am originally from Mississippi and we left there during the 60's race riots. I was raised to be as racially prejudiced as anyone from the south could be. This forum and being a teacher has allowed me to put that behind me. However, you were the one that brought up "Being a 6 foot 8 black man has not did to good for me getting jobs. I don't understand why people of other races are so intimidated of a black man." You seem to see your height and race as a liability. I would also venture that you carry yourself in an intimidating fashion, invading comfort zones and intentionally towering over people. Subtle body language. You need to fine tune it and use it to your advantage.

One other thing, with your history, do you have a criminal background that is hurting you as well? If you do, you have to figure out a way to turn it into "a past life experience that taught you tough lessons." Emphasize that you have grown up since then and give some examples as to how.

When you go looking for a job, the first thing to understand is they owe you nothing, absolutely nothing. Life owes you nothing. You get what you sow. You have to dress for the part. You have to walk the walk. You have to carry yourself humble. You have to do homework BEFORE applying. Find out about the company, google them. Find out how you could help the company. Find out how they need you. Make some resumes before you head out. Carry a small stapler with you to staple the resume to their application. Carry a clipboard and pen with you to make it easy to fill out applications on the spot. When you meet the interviewer look them in the eye and shake their hand. Write their name down on your paper on your clipboard. Speak in complete sentences with no street slang. When you sit down, sit straight up and on the edge of your seat. Do not cross your legs, you are not there for a casual lunch. Maybe even lean forward a little, act interested. Glance at the pictures on the wall and on the desk. Find common ground with the interviewer, football, basketball, golf, tennis, family, children. Don't come off as a stalker, just casually mention "Cool, I see your kid played football, so did I in high school. Did you also play football?" Try to find something in common. When you fill out an application, give more than the minimum information. Do not make them guess.

I am not sure where you applied for jobs but I do know that all that stuff works to get a retail sales job because my kid just used it and turned down about 4 jobs before landing the one she chose.

You are going to have to clean up your grammar and language some. If you want a professional job you are going to have to speak professionally. If you want some classic examples in your race look at TD Jakes, Les Brown, Will Smith and Oprah. All of them can talk street slang when they want to but they also have the ability to speak well when needed.

Don't come back to Dallas with some grand illusion. When I said we could have hooked up while you were here, I meant that we could have lunches and some casual conversation. I might be able to point you in a direction to get started. I am not in a position to employ you or make your life easier. I will say that I believe Dallas' employment level is probably better than where you are now. It may even be cheaper to live here, not sure.

Do you know about Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs? It would do you some good to learn them. You need to quit thinking about being wealthy until you have met your basic needs. One step at a time.

You say that you have a hard time getting hired. Cut the tall black man excuse. Really drill down to why each one did not hire you. Were you wearing baggy pants, were you slurring your speech, were you acting like you really don't need a job?

You will have to do this same analysis when you are business building. You need to get past your own excuses and see what the other guy is seeing. That will help you get a job and grow a business.

I wish you well.

I always wore suits to every interview. I spoke eloquently. My suit was probably more baggy then most peoples. I don't like wearing tight stuff tho.

 

[Kdthelegend]

KD, I checked out your youtube channel and I like your sound. I like the song Legend Out. (Maybe this can be your brand for your entertainment company!) I believe this song describes the success event as mentioned in MJs book. In this song you are a legend, a VIP, and have clout. Now to get to this event of being a legend or to Legend Out you must go through a process. This process includes changing the way you think, how you dress in certain settings, how you act and interact with the world beyond what you are familiar with. It sounds like you are now at a point that you want to change but it seems that you have reservations about making a total change for the better. You have talent and if you keep your mind focused on that talent and your business then you will succeed. One book that has been helpful in changing the way I view myself is Bill Bartmann's book: Billionaire: Secrets to Success. It includes a chapter specifically about changing the way you view yourself.

Thanks so much for listening to my music. I think I have Bill Bartmann's book in my collection. I probably have to reread it. You are right I want to change but I just don't know how to change and keep the qualities and values that I want to keep while I change

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Runum]

KD, I am impressed that you responded calmly and rationally. It speaks well for you.

Good to hear that your background is clean. I too wish people would judge each other by what is present and not in the past but it's not the way the life works. A person's past actions do have consequences. You are living your choices right now, we all are living our choices right now. That is reality.

You are right, I did not come from where you have been but I have had my share of hard luck too. I also had a rough teen/young adult life. I'm not here to compare who has had it rougher, we all have our burdens to bear.

My point is, you can dwell on it and let it break you, or you can grow past it and let your burdens make you better, stronger.

I wish you well on your journey. I hope it works out for you.

 

[Kdthelegend]

KD, I am impressed that you responded calmly and rationally. It speaks well for you.

Good to hear that your background is clean. I too wish people would judge each other by what is present and not in the past but it's not the way the life works. A person's past actions do have consequences. You are living your choices right now, we all are living our choices right now. That is reality.

You are right, I did not come from where you have been but I have had my share of hard luck too. I also had a rough teen/young adult life. I'm not here to compare who has had it rougher, we all have our burdens to bear.

My point is, you can dwell on it and let it break you, or you can grow past it and let your burdens make you better, stronger.

I wish you well on your journey. I hope it works out for you.

I have officially decided to become stronger. I now choose to face reality. Thanks for telling me your observation of everything.

 

[Bozigian]

If you want a job then you can do it at odesk.

Go to customer service and support
and apply for jobs

You get to work from home

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.