Just got married... Now I feel restricted and powerless

[daivey]

News flash. There is no such thing as a soul mate. That's some Cinderella fairy tale. The 7 billion people on earth. Think logically for a minute. Do you honestly think there is only one person that is right for you? Common... that's a straight up lie and I have no idea what the hell people are thinking believing this to be true. You can literally be a match and have a relationship with millions of people. Why would anyone ever settle for one? My guess is that religion is the case. People think they will rot in a pool of poo in this imaginary place in the sky if they don't conform. How many of you are atheists like me?

from the guy that's never been laid.

 

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[TheGrind]

REMOVED BY MOD

What the hell is even happening? Pretty clear you haven't.

OP, you seem to have it sorted out. Just remember communication is always key.

 

[GMSI7D]

2 Weeks ago, my wife was yelling at me to go get a job
Yesterday, after finding a job and being fired, due to inexperience, within a week of working, Wife was yelling at me "We can't support ourselves with pay like that, let alone the baby thats on the way"
We are currently living at my parents house and to add to that, We have over 10k just sitting around... Which she wants to save to use for an apt 3 months from now.
I keep telling her, lets use a little bit of that money to make some money, a small risk, like buying liquidations and reselling on ebay or something (after doing research and what not to minimize risk). Whatever the investment along with risk is, that is just an example. So lets not try to derail the thread.

Anything I throw at her, it's all "no, go back to the job market and look for a job" well, I agree 100% with looking for a job, but lets also attempt to grow this capital that we have on hand! I can't seem to break through to her that I am not the type of person that will settle for a 9 to 5 temp job making $10 and hour. I keep moving forward and I feel like she is suppressing my urge to take calculated risks.

How do I break it through to her that I want to take these risks while it is somewhat safe to do so?? I feel like she does not want me to do these things, she prefers for me to settle with a well paying job.... I DON'T WANT TO SETTLE, THAT IS NOT ME! I WANT TO MOVE FORWARD AND FORGET ABOUT 9 TO 5'S! I just want her to understand that I want the best for us and our family to come.

any psychologists here?? lol!

That's the situation where you have to fight against adversity and win.

the best tool for you against adversity is your mindset.

the best advice i learned about bad situations is from Gary Brodsky, a dating coach who talks about life in general, not juts dating.

to quote him : "i don't give a sh**, i don't care , i couldn't care less "

he says when you make an emotionnal investment in a situation ( marriage, business deal ) or anything in life,
you are going to lose.

but when you don't care , when you are cool, that makes people care about the situation and you win.

that's a psychological game.

so your mindset shows the world that you are in control of your fate and life.

https://www.youtube.com/user/MrGaryBrodsky/videos

he says 2 things i agree with :

1) never marry if you don't have the right mindset

2) what people think of you does not matter.

winners don't live the same day twice, they move forward .

when we look at their life and what they achieved, we can say that winners lived 80 years and losers lived 80 times the same boring year

 

[Supa]

That's the situation where you have to fight against adversity and win.

the best tool for you against adversity is your mindset.

the best advice i learned about bad situations is from Gary Brodsky, a dating coach who talks about life in general, not juts dating.

to quote him : "i don't give a sh**, i don't care , i couldn't care less "

he says when you make an emotionnal investment in a situation ( marriage, business deal ) or anything in life,
you are going to lose.

but when you don't care , when you are cool, that makes people care about the situation and you win.

that's a psychological game.

so your mindset shows the world that you are in control of your fate and life.

https://www.youtube.com/user/MrGaryBrodsky/videos

he says 2 things i agree with :

1) never marry if you don't have the right mindset

2) what people think of you does not matter.

winners don't live the same day twice, they move forward .

when we look at their life and what they achieved, we can say that winners lived 80 years and losers lived 80 times the same boring year

Not sure if you will have a happy marriage/family/friendships if you don't give a shit about them..

And about the thing with not making an emotional investment.. Actually what the F*ck should that mean? What's a marriage/family/friendships without loving each other? Love is an emotional investment.

Please don't use a dating coach's words as advice for real relationships.. Not giving a shit about the other person's emotions is definitely not a good attitude in any partnership. It's kinda selfish in my opinion.

Creating value for others already starts with being able to make someone else smile. Make someone happy.

How can you do that if you're not giving a shit about the other person?

Being able to put yourself in the shoes of the other person is a very valuable skill, that a lot (if not most) people do not possess. As long as someone is not a psychopath, there's a reason why someone is behaving the way he or she does. Viewing the situation from their point of view can show you why that person is behaving in that way.

That's something that dating coaches and pick up artists don't tell you, because they come from a selfish angle, just looking for the next opportunity to get laid. But if you're looking for some serious connections with another person, that no-emotions, ice cold, "badass" behaviour that they often suggest won't do anything good for you and the other person.

 

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[Sanj Modha]

I can't remember who said: "Every entrepreneur needs a cheerleader".

Basically, you need someone to root for you. I had my wife when I was struggling in the past. Without her support, I wouldn't be here today.