Noneya
New Contributor
Hello All,
I’m 29 years old and completely new to TMF .
I recently got so jealous about a post by a close family friend. He professed his goal of becoming a millionaire in the next year. It’s something I know he can achieve. He’s currently really successful in his businesses and have so far started 3. And they’re all doing well. He’s always had the flair for success. It was as plain as day even from a child. But I was jealous. I had to admit it to myself.
He is living the life that I should’ve been 6 years ago at his age. The life everyone who knew me thought I would have. I appeared confident and full of inspiration and goals. I talked a good game. I was smart, I was brave and I made my own circumstances. The reason my already poor family funded my two degrees. They had big hopes that I would do something with my life and elevate theirs. I was meant to become somebody and repay that debt of sacrifice. I was the one who much was given and much was expected. All to just be where I am now, 10 years later as a nanny. Albeit undercover. I’ve never been able to utter the words from my lips. Not to anyone. Least not my family. I just couldn’t do it. For the past 2 years I’ve been able to keep up the farce about still having my finance job.
The guilt is so unbearable because I know I can do better, I know I can work harder but, I just don’t know how to move. Even with life’s loud banging on my door. I can hear the screams, the alarms and I can feel that something isn’t right. I can hear the desperation in my mother’s voice for help. I want to help her. I know that I’m not using my potential - I know there is a greater purpose for my life and I hear the clock ticking. I have all the tools, I have read all the books, I have all the notes and everything I need to get started.
The problem is, I don’t feel like doing anything. I have the gnawing feeling of urgency but I find myself having a hard time taking action regardless. I don’t know why. I feel mentally paralysed. I used to be afraid of success, but that’s not what it is anymore. I have the willingness to do something but I just crawl under the covers and cry instead.
I recently moved into my own apartment. I’m no where near where I was last year during this exact July month (extremely broke and scared), but I have the exact same feeling right now as I did when I was. Last year should’ve been my FTE. I was in a bad place. I read Rich, Dad and applied the lessons straight away. Which led me to controlling my finances for the past year and actually having savings. Now, I have savings and a place to stay of my own and yet I feel nothing. Like I should still be living a better life. Like I deserve more but I know I’m not yet working towards it, so I can’t possibly deserve it.
I’ve had a website idea lingering for the past year and I recently decided to give it a shot. I got in touch with a developer who gave me a quote of about $1900 all in. Up until that moment, I thought the idea would’ve been good. But then I froze and talked myself out of it. Told him that I’ll let him know another time. All of a sudden, I don’t have trust in the idea anymore. I figured I was ‘ignoring the process principle’ by paying someone to build the site and expecting the money to rake in. Sure I would be solving a problem/making things easier, but I haven’t been sure on what scale. I’m stuck in between winging it to see what happens and to experience my first entrepreneurial stint, or considering something I am more confident in and can put work into myself.
I’m currently on a brief vacation from work, and I am dreading going back. I feel intensely unhappy and I want to quit. The money has been good, and in fact I make more than someone working a ‘great’ office finance job, but I’ve given enough of my time and effort. I work hard. Now I want to become rich. That’s the only way I can help my big family. This is where I am on the road to freedom. This is the reason I am going to push myself to seeing opportunities and problems that I can solve. Because I’m so scared of giving my employer my best years and all my energy. I just don’t know how to put myself into gear yet. No matter what I try, I feel numbed to inspiration. My goal for the next two weeks before I return to work, is finding a way.
I’m 29 years old and completely new to TMF .
I recently got so jealous about a post by a close family friend. He professed his goal of becoming a millionaire in the next year. It’s something I know he can achieve. He’s currently really successful in his businesses and have so far started 3. And they’re all doing well. He’s always had the flair for success. It was as plain as day even from a child. But I was jealous. I had to admit it to myself.
He is living the life that I should’ve been 6 years ago at his age. The life everyone who knew me thought I would have. I appeared confident and full of inspiration and goals. I talked a good game. I was smart, I was brave and I made my own circumstances. The reason my already poor family funded my two degrees. They had big hopes that I would do something with my life and elevate theirs. I was meant to become somebody and repay that debt of sacrifice. I was the one who much was given and much was expected. All to just be where I am now, 10 years later as a nanny. Albeit undercover. I’ve never been able to utter the words from my lips. Not to anyone. Least not my family. I just couldn’t do it. For the past 2 years I’ve been able to keep up the farce about still having my finance job.
The guilt is so unbearable because I know I can do better, I know I can work harder but, I just don’t know how to move. Even with life’s loud banging on my door. I can hear the screams, the alarms and I can feel that something isn’t right. I can hear the desperation in my mother’s voice for help. I want to help her. I know that I’m not using my potential - I know there is a greater purpose for my life and I hear the clock ticking. I have all the tools, I have read all the books, I have all the notes and everything I need to get started.
The problem is, I don’t feel like doing anything. I have the gnawing feeling of urgency but I find myself having a hard time taking action regardless. I don’t know why. I feel mentally paralysed. I used to be afraid of success, but that’s not what it is anymore. I have the willingness to do something but I just crawl under the covers and cry instead.
I recently moved into my own apartment. I’m no where near where I was last year during this exact July month (extremely broke and scared), but I have the exact same feeling right now as I did when I was. Last year should’ve been my FTE. I was in a bad place. I read Rich, Dad and applied the lessons straight away. Which led me to controlling my finances for the past year and actually having savings. Now, I have savings and a place to stay of my own and yet I feel nothing. Like I should still be living a better life. Like I deserve more but I know I’m not yet working towards it, so I can’t possibly deserve it.
I’ve had a website idea lingering for the past year and I recently decided to give it a shot. I got in touch with a developer who gave me a quote of about $1900 all in. Up until that moment, I thought the idea would’ve been good. But then I froze and talked myself out of it. Told him that I’ll let him know another time. All of a sudden, I don’t have trust in the idea anymore. I figured I was ‘ignoring the process principle’ by paying someone to build the site and expecting the money to rake in. Sure I would be solving a problem/making things easier, but I haven’t been sure on what scale. I’m stuck in between winging it to see what happens and to experience my first entrepreneurial stint, or considering something I am more confident in and can put work into myself.
I’m currently on a brief vacation from work, and I am dreading going back. I feel intensely unhappy and I want to quit. The money has been good, and in fact I make more than someone working a ‘great’ office finance job, but I’ve given enough of my time and effort. I work hard. Now I want to become rich. That’s the only way I can help my big family. This is where I am on the road to freedom. This is the reason I am going to push myself to seeing opportunities and problems that I can solve. Because I’m so scared of giving my employer my best years and all my energy. I just don’t know how to put myself into gear yet. No matter what I try, I feel numbed to inspiration. My goal for the next two weeks before I return to work, is finding a way.
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