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Is it possible to beat the failure mindset out of people?

Anything related to matters of the mind

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I'm specifically talking about my girlfriend here. With every topic I make, I state that I'm 17, which I'm sure bothers a few people on here, but I'm sure it helps me get accurate answers.

Shes got this mindset thats probably from her parents. Her parents havnt been too good with money, they were about to lose their house untill they came up with this idea of buying a ton of birds, mating them, and selling them all a year later. They just finished selling them all yesterday and they profited by like $1,000 because they didnt calculate or plan for costs or expenses at all.

I dont expect everyone to run out and start a fastlane business, because some people don't really have any interest in being wealthy, they just want to get by. The only issue I have with some people is they have this mindset I'm about to tell you about.

Shes 17 like me, and shes never had a job or even thought about her future plan, making money, getting by, ANYTHING. I figured after hanging around with me she would kind of adopt some of my ideas, but I guess not. I've been pressuring her to get a job so she can get her own car and her own place, and shes finally agreed she needs one. We were just discussing where shes going to apply and all she can come up with is Subway. I asked why and she says "well I like subway and no where else will hire me. and I wont work at fast food." I asked why she wont work at a retail store at the mall like Forever 21 or something, and her response: "I CANT!! I dont have the cool clothes to do it! I wont apply somewhere I know I wont get hired!!".

I argued with her for about an hour that its better to apply and get rejected than to not apply at all. She thinks that if she cant "dress cool" she cant work at a retail store, she acts like im insane when I tell her all she has to do is inquire about the dress code and follow it and shes golden. She wont work at other fast food places because she doesnt like to eat there..

What can I do to get her out of this? Her goal is to make money, but shes not willing to even try to apply cause she MIGHT not get accepted, and she wont work anywhere she doesnt like, because god forbid she does something that isnt fun and games. Like I said earlier, I don't expect her to run away and become a huge business owner, because that isn't what everyone wants to do, but this is just crazy.

Anyone have experience with beating the slowlane out of people?
 
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GlobalWealth

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Anyone have experience with beating the slowlane out of people?

You cannot change others. You can change yourself and lead by example. Either they follow or they don't.
 

FastNAwesome

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Anyone have experience with beating the slowlane out of people?

Won't work.

You can only prove them wrong by your results, and even then they'll think it's luck, temporary thing etc.
and will still hold on to the "sure thing".

It's cool to support your gf but don't ask people to be what they're not, enjoy your time together.

You cannot change others. You can change yourself and lead by example. Either they follow or they don't.

Exactly
 

PHD

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Anyone have experience with beating the slowlane out of people?

Sounds more like you have to beat the slow lane into this one before beating it out of her (figuratively speaking).

Perhaps one day she will realise she can't have the things she wants and needs and that may get her into gear. As suggested lead by example, if she notices you working hard, succeeding and reaping the benefits she may have a realisation.
 
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rxcknrxll

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I definitely agree with leading by example. It's the only way to truly lead at all really, but nothing is more motivating than seeing someone catch fire and make awesome things happen. I honestly think anyone can cultivate a fastlane mentality, but you have to want it. Focusing on trying to change someone is the absolute worst use of your time.
 

Rickson9

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Anyone have experience with beating the slowlane out of people?

It's not possible.

Anybody who is looking to do this has a lot of time to waste.

Search this forum. There have been numerous posts about hapless posters who have tried to do so. Waste of time.
 

Mike A.B.

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Sounds like she's sitting on the sidewalk looking at cars slowly drive by...

Maybe it helps to make her look at what houses/cars/clothing/fun/life actually costs if you have to pay for it all by yourself, WITHOUT a credit card!
 
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