If you lost everything, how would you rebuild?

[Trent]

Here is the thing I learned most. First, it was not my first crash so It didn't destroy me

1. No one took my birthday away,
2. no one came to eat me. (this is a seriously common thing of entrepreneurs that I coach BTW)
3. no one pointed to me on the street and laughed
4. the people I have in my life care alot about me, and its a good way to weed out your fair weather friends, (because honestly those are not real friends)
5. your still alive, and that means your smarter and faster next time....

Now I was depressed for a little bit, but here is a trick for those of you who don't know this.
you HAVE to go trough a grieving process.
you cant go around it.
you cant skip it
you cant ignore it and expect to be able to get back on top with out dealing with it.

so here is the trick. if you are going to have to go through it. Dig in. Deal with it. treat it like a focused workout or a focused endeavor. its almost like a startup.
It will eat up almost all your time, and energy for a little while. deal with it. focus on getting to the next stage of the stages of grief. process it and get it done!
if you drag this out, you will be very ineffective for a long time. certainly not at the top of your game

But if you do that, you can go through the stages of grief pretty quick.
1st time i lost a biz, i was young and it took me 1.5 yrs to get over it.

the next time I lost an apartment complex it took me 9 months.

when I lost 18M within a week I had another business up and running.

dealing with a "Dead Deal" and the grief head on, I was able to get back to making money fast

This is one hell of a good post. Dale, I think you nailed something that is certainly not taught in school and is really REALLY an essential aspect of entrepreneurship-- you WILL fail along the way (at least in some way) and how you deal with failure is an essential key to making it as an entrepreneur.

I think a lot of entrepreneurs new to the game let the depression destroy their dreams. I've never really thought of it as a grieving process, but I think you are right on.

 

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[puckman]

I think about this. At the very least I could go back to how I started, manual labor. Within months I would probably become my own contractor and hire away every available guy. Construction and mid-skilled labor has a low barrier to entry, very easy to get up and running in non-union dominated places. At least its a way to start, I would not stay there though.

With my background I could go to work for a corporation, and then work nights and weekends on my own business.

I could cash in my sizable 401K which I haven't touched in years. that is the very very last course of action, proabably after bankruptcy.

 

[MikeM]

I'd be doing what I'm doing now. Consolidating my resources, making sure my bills are paid, cutting unnecessary expenses, getting government assistance (my pride left me months ago), contemplating getting a job to build investment money for my start-up.

I'm thankful that I still have a roof over my head and my cars are paid off (and can be sold if things get very bad). The people in this thread are motivating as hell!

I went from a new 5k sq ft home to 70's style 1,400 sq footer with dry rot. (yes my appliances were yellow.)I went from driving a newer Ferrari and a new Porsche to a 92 civic with 140k miles on it, I went from wearing 300 dollar jeans to wearing 18 dollar jeans from J.C. Penny's (the nice ones would not fit anymore.) I went from always carrying $5k in flash money on me, to trying to figure out who can convert the change I had saved over the years

Took a year off, sat around, watched cable, Anyone else ever hear this line before, Deshawn, you are the father? Got so bored out of my mind, grew a beard, gained 40 pounds, I was really mad at the world, I was always thinking if I just had my "eating out" money back, I would be a millionaire. ( I am probably not kidding). Over and over in my head I kept saying how could I do this to myself?

Holy shit, are you me? Everything you said resonated, the part I bolded especially. When you're broke you remember how much money you used to keep in your wallet on certain days or SPECIFIC times you dropped cash to cover the bill for no real reason except to show off.. that if you only had half of that right now you could stretch it for a year...

Now I was depressed for a little bit, but here is a trick for those of you who don't know this.
you HAVE to go trough a grieving process.
you cant go around it.
you cant skip it
you cant ignore it and expect to be able to get back on top with out dealing with it.

Noted. I've never cried in my adult life, ever. When I hit rock bottom, I couldn't stop. I put my face in my hands and it just came out.

 

[911Carrera]

A man who knows how to earn money will never be broke for long. Many successful men have gone bankrupt multiple times in their lifetime only to bounce right back.

A good example is Hilton. That's why it's important to master the art of building and running businesses.

 

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[garyfritz]

and I saw the power of the internet for the first time really, in regards to making money with it. so I went out, knowing no one, in my new town, and raised money quickly, and purchased cash flowing web businesses.
when ever broke, raise the money, and go buy the income streams, then improve them like your life depends on it. and you can be back to $ pretty quick.

I like it. Would you be willing to talk about this a bit? What kinds of businesses you bought and where you found them, what to expect to pay for a $X-flowing business, how you improved it, etc?

Now I was depressed for a little bit, but here is a trick for those of you who don't know this.
you HAVE to go trough a grieving process.
you cant go around it.
you cant skip it
you cant ignore it and expect to be able to get back on top with out dealing with it.

so here is the trick. if you are going to have to go through it. Dig in. Deal with it. treat it like a focused workout or a focused endeavor. its almost like a startup.
It will eat up almost all your time, and energy for a little while. deal with it. focus on getting to the next stage of the stages of grief. process it and get it done!
if you drag this out, you will be very ineffective for a long time. certainly not at the top of your game

Amen to that. I spent 4 years in the late 90's / early 2000's learning how to trade commodities and stock futures, creating my own trading systems, and with a partner building up a commodity fund trading client money. Poured heart & soul into it, as much as was left over after raising little kids and caring for a depressed wife. It was just getting to the point where it was going to start throwing off $10-20k per month, and skyrocket from there.

Then 9/11 happened. It blew a hole in the whole market psychology, and in my trading methodology. I lost a bunch of money and had to close our fund.

I went into a serious funk for well over a year. Kept trying to revive my "baby" but it was dead. I knew I should move on and at least make some money to help support the family, but I just couldn't. I had to work through the grief before I could pick myself up and move on.

When you pour that much of yourself into something, it hurts (a LOT) to lose it. Face up to that, realize that you can't just ignore the pain, and work through it. Get on the other side of the grief so you can get on with the next step of your life.

 

[valuegiver]

This thread is useless. Most people posting here haven't even tasted success. What the hell do you have to lose? And this is just mental masturbation - thinking what you'd do if you lose everything (when you have nothing).

 

[Bozigian]

This thread is useless. Most people posting here haven't even tasted success. What the hell do you have to lose? And this is just mental masturbation - thinking what you'd do if you lose everything (when you have nothing).

This thread is not useless my friend. It is valuable.

Like JackEdwards said, he made millions and millions of dollars in the 90's and also spending it. Had 10 year run then became broke. Then opended a retail store and within 4 months had 4 stores turning 300k a month in sales.

From JackEdwards:
So my piece of advice to most of the young people who start making a lot of money, save some of it now. Now I know you are saying that would never happen to me. I said the same thing for 10 years, and yes it can happen to you.

This thread is not useless because now I know to save some money when you are making a lot of money because you can go broke if you dont spend your money wisely.

Thats one valuable thing I learned. Other readers here can also learn something valuable from this thread

 

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[Rickson9]

This thread is useless. Most people posting here haven't even tasted success. What the hell do you have to lose? And this is just mental masturbation - thinking what you'd do if you lose everything (when you have nothing).

No need to reflect on your life here. Just because you don't have anything to lose doesn't really apply to others.

 

[Motivated]

This thread has plenty to offer, it shows that even after taking big losses people can pick themselves back up and get back into making money again. That is a huge mental hurdle to overcome. Zendolphins post is excellent, you definitely need to go through a grieving process in order to get over losing big amounts of money or a business.

 

[HenkHolland]

I would look for opportunities to offer my expertise and experience to promising start-ups in exchange for sweat equity.
In the meantime, I would find a teaching job to ensure that there is food on the table.
Why would I look for a job as a teacher?
For two reasons: because I know that I can get one easily with my background and because I hate teaching, so I will do my utmost to make the other activities a success as quickly as possible in order to get out of the teaching job.

 

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[DeletedUser2]

I like it. Would you be willing to talk about this a bit? What kinds of businesses you bought and where you found them, what to expect to pay for a $X-flowing business, how you improved it, etc?

look for some of my other posts. I do talk about buying web biz.
check around> there was some good info I posted a while back

 

[valuegiver]

No need to reflect on your life here. Just because you don't have anything to lose doesn't really apply to others.

 

[yellowpad]

Thank you!!!!

I would move to Hawaii, cause I would rather be broke in Hawaii than broke in Texas.


Actually, I can tell you exactly what I would do, as I have lost everything, or better yet spent everything I had.

In the 90's I made millions and millions of dollars, being young and stupid I also spent millions and millions of dollars. $300 dollar lunches and dinners everyday, (yes I was the guy who took everyone to lunch) big house, ferrari in the garage, $225 t-shirts, lets not even talk about the money I blew gambling and a few private jets I chartered. I spent crazy money. woke up at 30, broke. Great 10 year run. After all that I ended up with a paid off very small rental house and a few old junky cars. and 200k in tax bills.

I didnt have the heart to tell people I was just a loser and lost it all so I told people I had a drug problem, it is amazing how understanding people are when you have a drug problem they say "well you over it now" etc.. But really I didn't have a drug problem, just a lazy loser problem. (this last part was a joke.)

I went from a new 5k sq ft home to 70's style 1,400 sq footer with dry rot. (yes my appliances were yellow.)I went from driving a newer Ferrari and a new Porsche to a 92 civic with 140k miles on it, I went from wearing 300 dollar jeans to wearing 18 dollar jeans from J.C. Penny's (the nice ones would not fit anymore.) I went from always carrying $5k in flash money on me, to trying to figure out who can convert the change I had saved over the years

Took a year off, sat around, watched cable, Anyone else ever hear this line before, Deshawn, you are the father? Got so bored out of my mind, grew a beard, gained 40 pounds, I was really mad at the world, I was always thinking if I just had my "eating out" money back, I would be a millionaire. ( I am probably not kidding). Over and over in my head I kept saying how could I do this to myself?

I sat there and thought about it and thought about it, I got to do something I got to make a change. I said to myself this is not me. I am not this guy. I am going to get off my lazy fat a$$, and get to work, I am going to figure something out. I am going to start calling all my old contacts and get back in the game.

Well oddly, Once you stop looking and once you stop blaming, ideas appear, someone I had not talked to for a year, gave me a little idea, I opened a little retail store, and within 4 months had 4 stores, turning about $300k a month in sales. That was 10 years ago now.

That whole 18 month episode made me a much better person, I learned so many things. I learned what not to do.

So my piece of advise to most of the young people who start making a lot of money, save some of it. Now I know you are saying that would never happen to me. I said the same thing for 10 years, and yes It can happen to you.

 

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[yellowpad]

After man years, I came back to the site again. Thanks for you time with this post...

Here is the thing I learned most. First, it was not my first crash so It didn't destroy me

1. No one took my birthday away,
2. no one came to eat me. (this is a seriously common thing of entrepreneurs that I coach BTW)
3. no one pointed to me on the street and laughed
4. the people I have in my life care alot about me, and its a good way to weed out your fair weather friends, (because honestly those are not real friends)
5. your still alive, and that means your smarter and faster next time....

Now I was depressed for a little bit, but here is a trick for those of you who don't know this.
you HAVE to go trough a grieving process.
you cant go around it.
you cant skip it
you cant ignore it and expect to be able to get back on top with out dealing with it.

so here is the trick. if you are going to have to go through it. Dig in. Deal with it. treat it like a focused workout or a focused endeavor. its almost like a startup.
It will eat up almost all your time, and energy for a little while. deal with it. focus on getting to the next stage of the stages of grief. process it and get it done!
if you drag this out, you will be very ineffective for a long time. certainly not at the top of your game

But if you do that, you can go through the stages of grief pretty quick.
1st time i lost a biz, i was young and it took me 1.5 yrs to get over it.

the next time I lost an apartment complex it took me 9 months.

when I lost 18M within a week I had another business up and running.

dealing with a "Dead Deal" and the grief head on, I was able to get back to making money fast

 

[Calgary]

Not sure if your previous two posts were relevant to anything.
If you were wise, you would be humble. Even if you don't believe that this thread has no point, you don't say it because it projects you as an arrogant individual.
For example: You don't tell an ugly girl, ugly. You tell her about the nice qualities that she has.

 

[AJGlobal]

This thread is useless. Most people posting here haven't even tasted success. What the hell do you have to lose? And this is just mental masturbation - thinking what you'd do if you lose everything (when you have nothing).

WOW !!! Really ? Is that what you think ? I had everything going for me when I lived back east between the ages of 16 and 18. A business that was making me plenty of money and a future. By the time I was 20, I was partying my a$$ off and by the time I was 22, I had lost everything. I didn't have millions or even hundreds of thousands but I had a lot more than your average 20/21 year old with the potential to make 6 or 7 figures. What I really lost was myself, and when that happened I lost everything else.

I ended up moving to AZ right after my 23rd bday to start over again after regaining myself. I had visited here as a young kid several times due to some family that had moved out here when I was 10 or 11.

I had nothing. Some clothes and a suitcase and a place to crash.
Within 2 weeks of moving to AZ I found a job that required me to take the bus everyday to get to work. I rode that bus for 3 months. I'll never forget having to get up at 4:30 AM everyday to catch that bus. I'd never rode a bus in my life. Talk about a humbling experience. Then when I did finally get a car, it didn't have A/C. Yes it was December and it was not hot out yet but I had that car into the summer of '98 and it was 110+, but I was just thankful to have a car and not have to take a bus anymore.

It was Dec of 1997 when I got here. By the end of 1998 into the beginning of 1999 I started the business I own today. Ironically today (Sept 8th) is my 37th bday and I have more than I ever could have possibly imagined. What I took as a bus to get to work for 3 months when I got here has turned into me choosing if I want to drive my Benz to my office or the lambo..........and that is if I even decide to go into the office or just work from home for the day.

I could go on and on about the material things that I've been fortunate enough to enjoy since I moved here and became successful, but the bottom line is that I had what it took from day 1, way back when I was 15/16 years old and that has nothing to do with material things. As I matured over the years I learned from my mistakes and took all my energy and focused it on positive things that eventually worked out to my advantage. Most importantly, I found my way.............put on the blinders............and never looked back.

I'm a living example of what someone is capable of doing should we lose everything and have to start over. The reality of my situation was that I lost myself, and it took me having less than I started to with at age 16 to get to where I'm at today.

I have no doubt that I have what it takes to start over should I lose everything I've built in the past 14 years since moving here.

In the past 14 years I've gained a son who is 12 and a daughter who is 16 that I adopted and raised since she was 4. If I were to never make the kind of money I make today ever again, those two kids would still love me regardless of how much money I had, but even they would tell you I have what it takes to be successful should I need to start over because I've been given the privilege and the gift of teaching them everything I've learned from my mistakes.

 

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