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HOT TOPIC I don't care about money

LarsJelle

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Aug 31, 2018
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I don't care about money.
I really don't.

The only thing I care about is being happy, healthy, be loved and be a person to look up to.
I know it's against the 'rules' of the Fastlane book 'do something you love/passionate about'. But to me this is the only way of being happy, at this moment I'm far from that.

I've tried multiple things in life already. Multiple studies, different jobs, different business start ups but I always end up; this is not going to make me happy.


The worst problem is, I know what I want to be and become but I don't know HOW. HOW am I going to be happy? What's my purpose on this planet, why am I here?

I'm 23 now and this question is bothering me since I'm 17 and I just can't find it out. How do I solve this big problem?
 

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HOW am I going to be happy? What's my purpose on this planet, why am I here?

I'm 23 now and this question is bothering me since I'm 17 and I just can't find it out. How do I solve this big problem?
I still have that question.
 
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LarsJelle

LarsJelle

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Ok, what is it you want to be?
Happy. Role model for my childeren and people around me.
I don't know in what kind of job nor business that will work for me?

The things I've tried are all different in complete different niches but it all ended up 'this is not me, this is not going to make me happy and satisfied'.
 

MTEE1985

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I don't care about money.
I really don't.

The only thing I care about is being happy, healthy, be loved and be a person to look up to.
I know it's against the 'rules' of the Fastlane book 'do something you love/passionate about'. But to me this is the only way of being happy, at this moment I'm far from that.

I've tried multiple things in life already. Multiple studies, different jobs, different business start ups but I always end up; this is not going to make me happy.


The worst problem is, I know what I want to be and become but I don't know HOW. HOW am I going to be happy? What's my purpose on this planet, why am I here?

I'm 23 now and this question is bothering me since I'm 17 and I just can't find it out. How do I solve this big problem?
As far as being happy, in all likelihood there are billions of people MUCH worse off than you. Be happy you aren’t one of them. If you want more practical answers to those questions read these:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/080701429X/?tag=tff-amazonparser-20

https://www.amazon.com/dp/1455586692/?tag=tff-amazonparser-20

https://www.amazon.com/dp/1591846447/?tag=tff-amazonparser-20
 
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LarsJelle

LarsJelle

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Aug 31, 2018
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As far as being happy, in all likelihood there are billions of people MUCH worse off than you. Be happy you aren’t one of them. If you want more practical answers to those questions read these:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/080701429X/?tag=tff-amazonparser-20

https://www.amazon.com/dp/1455586692/?tag=tff-amazonparser-20

https://www.amazon.com/dp/1591846447/?tag=tff-amazonparser-20
Thank you for recommendations.
The point you make on others which are most likely are worse off then me, I really have no message to that. Might sound selfish but it’s not going to make me happier about it.
 

Nik@16

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Aug 22, 2018
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Happy. Role model for my childeren and people around me.
I don't know in what kind of job nor business that will work for me?

The things I've tried are all different in complete different niches but it all ended up 'this is not me, this is not going to make me happy and satisfied'.
A lot of people wants to become rich and famous. Any job that makes you rich and famous will make you their role model. Will you believe the number of folks who wanted to be like Jordan Belfort when they saw the movie?.
Be what you want to be not what others around you want you to be.
 

garyfritz

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I've tried multiple things in life already. Multiple studies, different jobs, different business start ups but I always end up; this is not going to make me happy.
Jobs, businesses, etc will not "make" you happy. ONLY YOU can "make" you happy. ONLY YOU can choose to be happy.

Trite but true: happiness is a choice. It's an internal response, not the inevitable result of external conditions.

There are people with every possible thing you could desire -- wealth, fame, success, love, family -- and they are still not happy. Take Robin Williams as one sad example.

There are other people who don't have anything -- not even a roof over their heads, shoes on their feet, or food in their bellies -- who see all of life as a blessing.

Two people can be in the same situation and one is content while the other is miserable. One has chosen/developed his mindset so that he can be happy wherever he is; the other thinks he needs "more stuff" or "more something" before he can be happy. The difference lies in their mental state and habits, not in their jobs or bank accounts.

As long as you don't have psychological or biochemical issues -- possibly like unfortunate people like Williams -- you have the ability to "reprogram" yourself to be happy in nearly any situation. Sure, it's easier to "choose happy" when you're in a glorious park with your loved one, and it's harder when your business has just failed and your wife left you. But it's still a choice, and "happy" is always an option.

So don't look for happiness in jobs, money, etc. Look for it within yourself. Teach yourself to find joy in small things and happiness wherever you may be.

These sites may help you:
Start here - Happier
Why Happiness is a Choice (And Why It's a Smart One to Make)
How to Be Happy: 23 Ways to Be Happier
The 15 Most Common Habits of the World's Happiest People
10 Scientifically Proven Ways to Be Incredibly Happy
 
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socaldude

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Unless you live on a remote island that has no government jurisdiction you need money.

Although I think what you mean is that you don't care too much for material things which is understandable.

Even if you own everything free and clear the government still wants its share in the form of taxes.

So money is an inevitable part of life as long as you are a citizen of a country.
 

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DVU

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I can't remember who said it but it was a person on the frum and a "quote" I live by

UN said:
Interchange process with growth.



Process = Growth



When people say they enjoy the process, my belief is that they actually mean growth. The continuous improvement of your business. Achievement.



That achievement allows your brain to release certain chemicals like dopamine, allowing you to get pleasurable feelings from growth and achievement. If you're not achieving anything, and your brain is not releasing the necessary chemicals for "enjoyment", then you're not enjoying the process.



You need to focus on growth.



And if your brain is wired differently, and you don't enjoy growth, then you need to reconsider being an entrepreneur.
 

GMSI7D

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The worst problem is, I know what I want to be and become but I don't know HOW. HOW am I going to be happy? What's my purpose on this planet, why am I here?

I'm 23 now and this question is bothering me since I'm 17 and I just can't find it out. How do I solve this big problem?



i promise you won't be happy in life until you have a goal.

a goal that is based on human evolution and potential

life is a test for your spiritual evolution


--> i am not talking about religion, here . i don't believe in God. i believe in spiritual awareness, this is not the same thing. i am talking about expanding your reality .

for example , ask freemasons or spiritual masters. they will tell you why they are on earth

and this is not for absurd things like 95 % of people do : eating , working, having sex, watching TV until death

these things are animal activities . let's be serious for a minute, please.

i am happy because i know why i am on earth

it has nothing to do with being rich and living in mansions, all these BS and immature thinking of the current society


it has to do with the meaning of life

i belong to the 5 % on this picture : the masterminds



py.png
 

Ayanle Farah

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You don't have a purpose, you make up your own purpose as you move along.

Being happy is great but it's a fleeting thing, don't waste your life chasing that dopamine. It's not that important.
 

ChrisV

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If you don’t want a ton of money, that fine man

When MJ says things like “do what you love is bad advice” what he means is “doing what you love isn’t necessiraly profitable”

being unscripted is about doing your thing. if you follow the millionaire path and that’s not what you want, you’re just as 'scripted' as anyone else

Another really good one: http://happierhuman.com/how-to-be-happy/
Ty for those links btw @garyfritz
 

jpn

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It's funny that the only people who I hear say they don't want money, are the ones that don't have it. Could it be that its a psychological defence mechanism that people employ to protect their ego's? Or to help them come to terms with current environment, and their inability to see a path out of it?

Either way. The past year I made more money with less time spent then ever before (nothing close to FU money though, but my batting is getting better), and frankly, my baseline of happiness has increased significantly. Could I be this happy without money. Probably. But I can't deny its a factor.

@LarsJelle you say you know what you want to become. You want to become happy. I get it. Perhaps I'm projecting, but I understand the feeling of being dissatisfied with where you are, and wanting to change things to become more satisfied. It's just that your end-point is vague, wanting to be happy and be looked-up to doesn't help you move forward, towards that.

An approach I've used several times in the past was to admit that the only thing I knew for sure, was that I didn't like where I was now, and was unsure where to go next. Then I would select a path that followed three basic rules:
  • It must lead to a different environment (different city/country, different social circle).
  • It must be a path that breaks away from my former path (new industry, career, etc.).
  • It has to be challenging (you can't grow unless you do things that you consider hard).
Note that this does not include determining what's possible, decide first, then look at what you can do to get there. Use common sense here, don't set completely unrealistic paths (fe: become a Olympic snowboarder, if you're over 20 and you've never seen snow before).

Once you've determined what you want to do, get creative about getting there. Be open to do uncomfortable things (get out of your comfort zone) to achieve them. And feel free to utilise this forum to ask other people how they've gotten past a particular obstacle.
 
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LarsJelle

LarsJelle

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I think my main problem is also I still live at home.
It's all good etc. but I would love to get on my own.. money will be problem then.. quite expensive to live in The Netherlands ($600 minimum rent only).
 

jpn

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I think my main problem is also I still live at home.
It's all good etc. but I would love to get on my own.. money will be problem then.. quite expensive to live in The Netherlands ($600 minimum rent only).
Stop thinking in problems. Start thinking in solutions. Rent is not 600 minimum. You can live "anti-kraak", rent is less than 200, incl utilities. You can rent a room in a shared apartment, 350-500, including utilities. Or get a part time job paying minimum wage, then 600 is easily achievable.

EDIT, bonus option: house hack!
Rent an apartment with at least 2 bedrooms in a reasonable area in a big city and Airbnb the bedrooms. Did that for a few years, paid for my rent + utilities. You live for free, just need to handle check-ins.
 

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Doug9

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In order to be happy you have to accomplish something. You cant just sit in a state of happiness.

You say you want to be happy but you don't want to do anything to bring about a sense of accomplishment? That's a common problem.
 

SteveO

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As stated earlier. Happiness is a state of mind. I was happy and having fun when I was 18 and living in my car. I am happy now with money to spare.

I personally was the least happy when stressing over money.
 

Fotis

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I like the way Mark Manson defines happiness: solving problems. I'm at my happiest when I'm productive (aka solving the problem of being lazy, not creating things etc)

"I don't care about money.
I really don't.

The only thing I care about is being happy, healthy, be loved and be a person to look up to."

Money will allow you to buy healthy foods. It will allow you to get a gym membership or even a personal trainer. You can get healthy thanks to it.

You will never be loved by a woman the way you want because women don't love the same way as men. It's why men are crashed after their "love" leaves them for whatever reason, despite all the acts of love they performed for them. They don't "get" the biological sacrifice a man makes when he chooses a partner for life. And, they don't care. But, having money will help you attract more women and, who knows, this will probably increase your chances of getting love.

As for being a person others look up to, I doubt people will look up to you if you're just healthy, happy, loved. But they will consider you a valuable source of information if you make a lot of money

The way I see it?

You don't care about money, but they things you care about, care about money.

Finally, someone can argue that all the things you care about, are things you can't control. You can't control someone into loving you. Nor can you inject admiration in them, for you. Health is a crazy thing, and completely healthy 30-year-olds die from a heart attack while overweight men and women who smoke, live till old age. And happiness is a wild-card. If you don't sleep well one day, you'll feel sad.
 

corphelp

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From my personal experience of some 70+ years I found that that not knowing that you don’t is time wasted. At a young age I decided to befriend older persons and adhere to life advice they were so willing to share. This saved me a lot of time as one fellow told me that without money you would be so distracted living from pay check to pay check you not can concentrate of what you truly want to do.

I was told find something that will generate a week income until I found what really mattered. Also, to continue furthering my education as it not only created marketable skill but the need rounded life education.

I started my working life with only a high school education and learned that if I want more out of life I need more schooling. I found that taking only classes I need verse class I was told to take help me obtain the best tools to complete in my chosen field.

I finally retired after some 20+ years in the real estate financing field and thank my God I did act to the advice of the much older folks. I could have continued in associating with people my age and wasted many years learning the things the hard way.
 

GMSI7D

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From my personal experience of some 70+ years I found that that not knowing that you don’t is time wasted. At a young age I decided to befriend older persons and adhere to life advice they were so willing to share. This saved me a lot of time as one fellow told me that without money you would be so distracted living from pay check to pay check you not can concentrate of what you truly want to do.

I was told find something that will generate a week income until I found what really mattered. Also, to continue furthering my education as it not only created marketable skill but the need rounded life education.

I started my working life with only a high school education and learned that if I want more out of life I need more schooling. I found that taking only classes I need verse class I was told to take help me obtain the best tools to complete in my chosen field.

I finally retired after some 20+ years in the real estate financing field and thank my God I did act to the advice of the much older folks. I could have continued in associating with people my age and wasted many years learning the things the hard way.

you were born at the right time

after WW2

this is the best period of the 500 past years

wealth, happyness, sleeping with everybody in 1968, and so on

so people think that this situation will stay for ever. the jackpot, the good life is here to stay

really ??

hmmmmm.......



what really is the skill to develop for the future ? making money ?


making money is just one way to get ressources. there are other ways


for example , in this situation ( titanic movie ) , is using money the right way to get that damn lifeboat ?

tit.jpg




hhmmmmm....


NO . this is not the right way . AT ALL



but knowing human psychology and persuasion ( or manipulation ) is the right way here



hard times are at the doors

what will save you ?


money ? or intelligence and skills ?



hmmmm.......

 

ClaverCasley

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Here's a long quote from The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand that might help you. It changed my outlook and belief. Basically it says that every human being ought to be what Scripted society called an 'a$$hole.'

"If any man stopped and asked himself whether he's ever held a truly personal desire, he'd find the answer.

He'd see that all his wishes, his efforts, his dreams, his ambitions are motivated by other men.

He's not really struggling even for material wealth, but for the second-handers delusion—prestige. A stamp of approval, not his own.
He can find no joy in the struggle and no joy when he has succeeded.
He can't say about a single thing: '

This is what I wanted because I wanted it, not because it made my neighbors gape at me.'

Then he wonders why he's unhappy."
 

ProblemOd

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ONLY YOU can choose to be happy.

Trite but true: happiness is a choice. It's an internal response, not the inevitable result of external conditions.
I would go further to say that happiness is a temporary feeling and no one feels happy 24/7. I would not have that expectation. You shouldn't be happy when someone close to you dies, or when you're stuck in a job you hate, or when your'e diagnosed with cancer.

However, you can be at peace with yourself, no matter your external circumstances. And from that point of peace, you can steer your life towards more of those "happy" moments, whatever they are.
 

WJK

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I think my main problem is also I still live at home.
It's all good etc. but I would love to get on my own.. money will be problem then.. quite expensive to live in The Netherlands ($600 minimum rent only).
So, you're still a child. Adults pay their own rent, eat their own food and pay their own bills. It's easy to downplay the role of money when someone is taking care of you. Get out and try to make it on your own before you spend your time on this happiness quest.
 

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