How You Can Step Into Others Shoes

[Edgar King]

How You Can Step Into Others Shoes
(At least the way I use)​

This is for those who are having a really hard time just trying to start to care for others. When I started out way long before the forum I was just focused on making loads of money, and obviously this reflected in my motivation and actions. But when I stumbled upon ICK's great thread, the astonishing secrets it opened my eyes to a whole new world.

Before that though, I was more detached and it was pretty hard to jumpstart loving others, until I over time began to allow myself to just accept others as they were and appreciate them. I hope the below, can help jumpstart that for you.

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"Love others. By doing this you become intuitive to their innate nature to observe their problems and pains." This is from the Astonishing Secrets thread about loving others first, and the Ice Cream will come.

Through out this forum the message to provide value is constantly hammered. Because it's important, but to do that...

You need to want to provide value. And to do that You need to care enough about others and their problems.

But how?

You have to care for these people like you do your blessed mother. But how does one go about caring for friends you've never met and their problems?

I started out by chanting love love love in my head. No luck.

"What makes me really care for others?" I asked.

Their story and their why's. (Cause and effect). Is the conclusion I came too.

You need to form a mental model of that person's history and thoughts in relation to the problems they face.

I want you to vividly Imagine you're at a bar, and there's only you and a stranger/family member (Pick anyone you want to care more about). Your partner voices all their concerns in agony and you lend an ear. What are they?

Continue reading when you are done.

Great, you're done now? Alright let's move on. But...

They never told you these details in person, did they?

Your subconscious mind filled in these details based on impressions you already had of that person. You added in these details based on information you have of them and the rest just flowed. In doing this, you've probably at least become more empathetic to them.

Now you're more attuned to their needs and problems and can now investigate if this person has these concerns and take it from there.

The longer you spend trying to understand other people's thoughts and perspectives, the more empathetic you'll become over time. And the easier you'll hear their problems and be motivated to provide a solution.

Imagine their worries, stresses (How do I provide for the kids?), their story (I came from an impoverished background where my mother had to work 3 jobs), their thoughts (I hate how dark my eyes are ), their perspective (Oh I liked this post on reddit, upvote) anything that would make you emotionally connected to them. By doing this, you form a mental model of them that you not only are attached too, but get to hear their problems in your head.

It doesn't really matter whether this model is 100% accurate, it's just a starting point to want to learn more about them and provide value to them.

It all boils down to this:
Step into their shoes to be motivated to see and solve their problems.

Hope this helps you, as much if not more than it helped me.

 

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[Mattie]

"Love others. By doing this you become intuitive to their innate nature to observe their problems and pains." This is from the Astonishing Secrets thread about loving others first, and the "Ice Cream" will come.

Through out this forum the message to provide value is constantly hammered. Because it's important, but to do that...

You need to want to provide value. You need to care about and love others.

"Love others. By doing this you become intuitive to their innate nature to observe their problems and pains."

But how?

To provide value easily (Or at least really want to) you have to care for these people like you do your blessed mother. But how does one go about caring for friends you've never met and their problems?

I started out by chanting love love love in my head. No luck.

"What makes me really care for others?" I asked.

Their story and their why's. (Cause and effect). Is the conclusion I came too.

You need to form a mental model of that person's history and thoughts in relation to the problems they face.

I want you to vividly Imagine you're at a bar, and there's only you and a stranger/family member (Pick anyone you want to care more about). Your partner voices all their concerns in agony and you lend an ear. What are they?

Continue reading when you are done.

Great, you're done now? Alright let's move on. But...

They never told you these details in person, did they?

Your subconscious mind filled in these details based on impressions you already had of that person. You added in these details based on information you have of them and the rest just flowed. In doing this, you've probably at least become more empathetic to them.

Now you're more attuned to their needs and problems and can now investigate if this person has these concerns and take it from there.

The longer you spend trying to understand other people's thoughts and perspectives, the more empathetic you'll become over time. And the easier you'll hear their problems and be motivated to provide a solution.

Imagine their worries, stresses (How do I provide for the kids?), their story (I came from an impoverished background where my mother had to work 3 jobs), their thoughts (I hate how dark my eyes are ), their perspective (Oh I liked this post on reddit, upvote) anything that would make you emotionally connected to them. By doing this, you form a mental model of them that you not only are attached too, but get to hear their problems in your head.

It doesn't really matter whether this model is 100% accurate, it's just a starting point to want to learn more about them and provide value to them.

Hope this helps you, as much if not more than it helped me.

Love is natural for some women. Love is not manipulative, or seductive. You cannot entice "Real Genuine Love" with materialism and finances.
I kind of have to chuckle at this, and I don't mean any harm, but you may or may not find love at the bar. Usually, a bar is a meat market and more about lust and sex. Don't get your heart broken looking for a women at the bar that will stick around long-term unless your looking for alcoholics or drug addicts. Maybe a summer fling. Maybe a one stand.

I think you're going towards more like the Art of Seduction by Robert Greene. Pickup-artists. There are different niches about dating, love, marriage, and there's different keywords used for a specific group of individuals your aiming for.

I would know the difference before starting a service. What are you hoping to achieve in providing a service for relationships? I kind of jumped out of this since there's an ocean of diversity in how each culture views relationships and generations.

Then your speaking of Parenting styles, family dynamics, and that is a whole different social issue that branches off the first part .

I wish you good luck in the adventure of discovering your answers. It's quite a journey. Good to be asking questions and exploring.

 

[Edgar King]

Love is natural for some women. Love is not manipulative, or seductive. You cannot entice "Real Genuine Love" with materialism and finances.
I kind of have to chuckle at this, and I don't mean any harm, but you may or may not find love at the bar. Usually, a bar is a meat market and more about lust and sex. Don't get your heart broken looking for a women at the bar that will stick around long-term unless your looking for alcoholics or drug addicts. Maybe a summer fling. Maybe a one stand.

I think you're going towards more like the Art of Seduction by Robert Greene. Pickup-artists. There are different niches about dating, love, marriage, and there's different keywords used for a specific group of individuals your aiming for.

I would know the difference before starting a service. What are you hoping to achieve in providing a service for relationships? I kind of jumped out of this since there's an ocean of diversity in how each culture views relationships and generations.

Then your speaking of Parenting styles, family dynamics, and that is a whole different social issue that branches off the first part .

I wish you good luck in the adventure of discovering your answers. It's quite a journey. Good to be asking questions and exploring.

I'm a bit confused, but curious of your perspective. If it's a bad concept to go by, so be it I can be confused sometimes XD.

The above that I wrote essentially boils down to Stepping into their shoes to be motivated to see and solve their problems Is what I was aiming for with it. I'll change the title to reflect this better, thank you.

Sorry for the confusion.