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How important is it to make entrepreneurial friends?

Discussion in 'General Entrepreneur Discussion' started by LiveEntrepreneur, Oct 15, 2018.

  1. LiveEntrepreneur
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    LiveEntrepreneur Bronze Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane Speedway Pass

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    They say who you hang out with you is who you become. Not sure I agree 100%, but anyways. Just wondering do you guys think it's important to make friends who have the same entrepreneurial dream as you? I don't have any friends that have the same goals as me, they think more the slow-lane approach work a 9-5 job etc. The reason I ask this question is because a lot of people say to pick people with the same goals as you etc, but I'm not really looking for extra friends. Do you think this is a mistake?

    The thing that confuses me I guess is, say for example you do make any sort of friend if you are constantly working on your business how can you also balance keeping a friend?
     
  2. Ecom man
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    Ecom man Platinum Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    The biggest thing is you need someone to vent to and bounce ideas off of. That person could be a spouse, friend, or family member but most “normal” people won’t understand you or may even discourage you from entrepreneurship.

    I wouldn’t go out of my way to find new friends (many entrepreneurs are super busy anyway) but as you grow many times you will grow apart from people that stopped growing when they graduated from school.
     
  3. LiveEntrepreneur
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    LiveEntrepreneur Bronze Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane Speedway Pass

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    Interesting.
     
  4. MoneyPhantom
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    MoneyPhantom Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED

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    You can work on your individual businesses together, for example. Rent a finca on some warm island for the winter with some other business men and work your asses off. As @Ecom man said, it's important having someone to share ideas with and who has another (entrepreneurial) view on your business.
     
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  5. LiveEntrepreneur
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    That's the sort of idea I had. Finding someone who has a online business or something and we work on our own stuff in a library or something like that. Though been thinking whether or not its a good idea. And where to find these people.
     
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  6. Scot
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    Scot Ductus Exemplo Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR Summit Attendee

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    I think it’s very important to have people you can talk to who are playing the same game as you. The forum is great, but I won’t share 90% of what I want to on a public forum.

    I’m lucky to have a very active and very good mastermind group. We have a group chat going 24/7.

    When I have a problem I need a fresh set of eyes on, need to vent, or share good news, they’re there and they get it.

    My real world friends are great, but I get deer in the headlights looks when I start talking about P&L’s and profit margins. The best I get is the occasional, “ how’s the business?”

    Find some people you can be candid with about your business and struggles that are going through it or have been there.


    It’s the same reason your grandpa who fought in Vietnam won’t tell you war stories, but will tell the guys at the local VFW everything about his tour.
     
  7. LiveEntrepreneur
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    LiveEntrepreneur Bronze Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane Speedway Pass

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    I see that makes sense. Any suggestions where to find these people? I was thinking networking events.
     
  8. Scot
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    Scot Ductus Exemplo Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR Summit Attendee

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    Networking events for sure. Check out Meetup.com your city may have some entrepreneur groups that do meetups near you. Also, if you have anyone you talk to on here often, try linking up with them on Skype or some other medium as well.

    Have you hosted or been to a fastlane meetup in Australia yet?
     
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  9. LiveEntrepreneur
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    I havent didnt even know there was a fastlane meetup here but thanks for letting me know that is definently important to know about.
     
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  10. jpanarra
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    I think having people that understand what you're going through and having a person that you can vent to and call out your own bullshit is massive in this line of work.

    So many times my brain would try to logic itself out of something and take the easy way out, If it wasn't for this community and my entrepreneur friends, I'll probably still be spinning my wheels with a fake a$$ blog that gets 35$ a week.
     
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  11. MoneyPhantom
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    MoneyPhantom Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED

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    Join a coworking space if there is one near you.
     
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  12. Timmy C
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    Timmy C I Will Not Stop! Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    I'm from Australia in Melbourne I would be down for a meet up!

    I find the same thing as you all my friends dont get it and are on different paths it is quite frustrating. The friends i did tell made fun of me behind my back and think im an idiot.. what are we 5? you cant say shit to my face lol

    Yeh im done with them you dont need to surround yourself with that.
     
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  13. Kak
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    Kak Capitalist Swine Read Millionaire Fastlane FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR Summit Attendee

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    I tend to agree with the notion that you become like the people you spend the most time around. I know several people that continually complain that they some "friend" is an idiot or a loser... I don't understand why they would willingly spend time with them.

    I am a private person. I choose not to spend my time around people that I don't relate with. I wouldn't suggest you only socialize with entrepreneurs... I would suggest, however, that you hang out with the people you respect the most, for various reasons. Go getters. Intelligent people. Spiritual leaders you respect. Make sure there is something about them that you wish you were more like before you make it a pattern to spend a lot of time with someone.
     
  14. MTEE1985
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    I absolutely agree with that. For me it’s 50/50 where I look at who I don’t want to spend time with just as much as who I do.

    As humans we have a tendency to want to be “part of the group”. If the group is gossiping, bitching, etc. our normal response is to go along with it to be polite. That negative action will weigh on you whether you consciously feel it or not.

    To your specific question I wouldn’t view it so much as they all need an entrepreneurial mindset, I know many people who are extremely successful through jobs and they have many qualities that I like to emulate. @Kak answered your question best and I just realized I basically copied his response.

    @Kung Fu Steve if you’re lurking today I know you have good insight into this.
     
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  15. Kak
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    I will add to my post above...

    The mere "belief in" entrepreneurship, does not necessarily make someone a respectable person to devote time to.

    Don't let people make you worse.
     
  16. ZF Lee
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    ZF Lee Platinum Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    Speaking of meetup.com, I'll be adding these tips to the main Fastlane networking section later! I noticed that we didn't have a basic due diligence write-up on meetup.com as of yet!

    I have attended quite some meetups from meetup.com in my country, and while it is a great place to meet entrepreneurs, coders, business folks and others for travel, leisure and sports, you have to know that not all meetup groups are created equal.

    Meetup.com groups can change hands quickly.
    In my progress thread, I mentioned I went for my first meetup, where someone gave me a recommendation to a 'business opportunity' that was actually AMWAY. A few months later, the very same meetup group was going kaput due to low attendance, so the original guy, who roped me in the first place, wants to close shop.

    Since I was the latest attendee to the group to date, the meetup.com system automatically asked me if I wanted to take over the group from me.

    WTF? And I had only used the app for only....3-4 weeks???

    I declined the system, but I realised that if people could take over defunct meetup.com groups to use for their own purposes, be they good or bad.....well, let's say you got to be careful.

    The next few entrepreneural meetup.com groups I found were quite good, and had these characteristics. Ask:

    1. Do they have disclaimers/warnings against snake oil pitches or MLMs?
    Similar to this Forum, business folks are getting tired of wasting their time listening to sales spam crap.
    If they also disclaim any liability resulting from partnerships or deals that sprouted out from the meetup, better still. At least they want to make sure no one does stupid shit that ruins the group atmosphere.

    2. Do they welcome messages from you/ speedily reply to your queries?
    That is an indicator that the group is active and very established. I had some stupid questions related to whether folks without an official biz were welcome, as well as which table they were sitting at (lol!), and I had great organizers help me out. And they replied within a few mins.

    3. Do they have a sizeable crowd?
    If you are the only one going, you might as well be entering the trap of a salesman/network marketer.

    I might join a meetup that is 5-10 strong. Any more, and you have concerns as to whether the folks pay enough attention to you or it turns out to be a seminar instead of a conversation.

    4. Can you research the people involved/regulars?
    Now, on meetup.com, you can see the names of the folks on the group. Anyone who does B2B or freelancing on Upwork knows that names mean research.

    Try to google them up and see what companies/ markets they are in. Not to copy them. Just to know their track record, and whether they are worth listening to. That's all.

    Anyway, you can't copy folks anyway. You never get to see a thousand things happening behind the scenes such as supply chain management, HR and legal. :smile:

    The first meetup I went to, I couldn't find the guy on the Internet, even on FB. And that was even after he tried to hook me into real estate selling and sent me a brochure for a company he helps sell for. That's bad news.

    The next one was great. One guy showed his e-commerce shopfront, selling cliparts. A couple passed out cards. With biz cards, you can do even more research later on. Most of us think that business cards are an action-fake, but in that context, they come in handy. Otherwise, collect numbers and whatsapp contacts to follow up, if you like them enough to dig deeper into the rabbit hole. :smile2:

    A few tips:
    1. Follow up. Be a regular, at least for a few meetup.com groups you like. I've got to work on this, as most meetings happen at night, which is after classes. Get to know regulars who can be trusted, and help them out. They might become your next customers or investors, but I'm comfortable enough to just make some friends out of them.

    Find out their birthdays, some life-changing tales of theirs, why they went into biz in the first place, what are their goals in life, how you can help, what do they like for dinner, etc......so many questions. Just use the meetings to answer those questions and the next that follow....

    2. Ignore or push away the folks who are trying to sell you into their dark initiatives (e.g. MLM or snake-oil). Also, if someone promises to you that they will contact you for a job or gig, don't expect them to 100% follow on their promises unless there's a written agreement. Even though business talk can be worth rubies, talk is still talk. A promise is nothing unless acted upon.


    EDIT: Ok, on the posting to the main networking section...maybe not. For some reasons, the 'MOST ASKED QUESTIONS' section has been vaporised.....:clench:
     
    Last edited: Oct 15, 2018
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  17. Diogo Santos
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    I truly believe in that sentence of "you are an average of the 5 people that you spend the most time with", I think they can really influence you and the way you act.

    Personally, I like to go to the gym, eat properly read books and use my time wisely, to develop myself in any way.

    Then I got my friends, that I know since we left school, that don't go to the gym, are always eating junk food and only play video games all the time...

    Sometimes I'm not feeling the best, and the stuff I do normally it's not always enjoyable it can be boring and hard, so having these friends around sometimes it's not the best because it's so much easier to do what they do, and they're always calling me to go with them.
    And if you're feeling like shit and suddenly an easy dopamine rush is presented to you, if you're not disciplined enough you're probably gonna let it go "just this time" the problem is "just this time" happens every now and then, and then when you realize it, this becomes a habit and this is your life. (maybe I went a bit overboard on this one, but I think you get what I mean)

    But in the other hand if you have a close friend that hits the gym regularly and enjoys it, and he questions you if you're going and what are your results, and asks for you to go with him etc.. you will almost feel like you need to go to the gym just to not "lose" to him, or just not to "let him down", it will pump you up and give you more reasons to go to the gym and most likely you will enjoy it more than you ever did.

    Same goes for entrepreneurship and other things in life.

    This is why I think it's important to have friends that think like you and do the same stuff you do, it helps you to keep on the road and surprass difficult times.
    That doesn't mean you need to unfriend all of your old friends that have a 9-5 job and don't think like you, but if they're all you have i think you should really meet new people that will make you improve somehow.
     
  18. LiveEntrepreneur
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    Thanks for the info guys. Ill give it a try.
     
  19. Kung Fu Steve
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    The 5 people you hang around most determines a lot about your life.

    I've seen it to be extremely scary accurate.

    Add up the income of the 5 people you hang out with most, divide it by 5... I bet that's about how much you make.

    Add up the weight of the 5 people you hang around most, divide it by 5... I bet that's pretty damn close to what you weigh.

    But it's not so blatantly obvious as you might think...

    Here's the scenario:

    You're out with your friends at a sports bar. Waitress goes around the table and your friends say "burger, burger, burger, burger" and then you say "salad"

    You immediately get razzed, right?

    And even if they are joking, you just broke rapport with them. Your standards were different in that moment. And if your standards are routinely higher than the people around you -- you only have two choices (to stay in rapport).

    Pull them up, or go back down.

    But what NORMALLY happens is that if your standards are high -- just to get people to like you we'll drop our standards down to what's socially acceptable (especially in that environment).

    We as entrepreneurs are constantly looked at as the odd ducks. I don't want to go to school. It's stupid. I don't want to work for somebody. It's insanity. I want to build my own thing.

    Well, when everyone around us is going to school, trying to get a job, living with their parents -- or whatever... we tend to behave that way simply because it's what builds rapport with people.

    All of us value love and connection in our lives.

    So what do we do about it?

    Well -- I'd suggest you don't be a hermit and just stop talking to people. That's a little naive and EVERY single person on this planet has value to give us. Just because you're "superior" in one way doesn't mean you're not "inferior" in another.

    With people who are not like you it's important to get curious. Figure what makes them tick. Ask them questions. Figure out WHY they think the way they do.

    ENJOY it the differences!

    AND... you need to find some people who are driven. People who inspire you. People who push you. Maybe they don't have the entrepreneurial spirit per se but they have a hunger inside of them to go do something.

    Two of my best buddies from back home... both I've known for almost 15 years now. We grew up in the same neighborhood. We went out to the bars and clubs all the time together but what was so funny and weird about us is we talked business and life the whole time.

    Sure we chased the girls, sure we drank too much... but we were up at 6am the next day in grind mode. They had extremely high standards for everything and there was never an excuse. THOSE guys were instrumental in keeping my sanity while I built my first business.

    You need to find you some friends like those. People who hold you to a higher standard... and just try to spend less time with the nay-sayers, ey?

    Hopefully that makes sense.
     
  20. Raoul Duke
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  21. Dmoneyzzz
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    I believe it is important to have like-minded friends in that they want to be as successful as you do or even more. Maybe a handful of entrepreneurial friends and a handful of "other" friends is a great mixture to have so that you can potentially see and understand from both sides of the coin.
     
  22. LiveEntrepreneur
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    Fantastic post mate. Though i just find it hard to see it from this point of view, and that's this: If i for example hang out with peple who make 50k a year i dont think that will dictate my income as long as im doing activities that will make me more than 50k. Sure friends can influence you. Correct me if im wrong but i feel if you are doing your own thing and not what they are doing they dont really effect you.
     
  23. babyballer
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    I purposely only spend much of my time with friends who are already entrepreneurs since I don't have access to billionaires or multi-millionaires yet. The successful entrepreneurial friends are very different from average common friends in terms of mindset. When you spend a lot of your time with them, you start to get their way of thinking. After some time, you start to develop that belief in yourself that you can be successful as well just like them. You are who you hang out with. Iron sharpens iron. Winners average winners. Losers average losers.
     
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  24. Kung Fu Steve
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    Kung Fu Steve Platinum Contributor Speedway Pass Summit Attendee

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    I get what you mean. That's why I said it's so insidious.

    You don't realize it but 50k people do 50k things. They think in 50k ways and they have 50k behaviors.

    That doesn't mean someone who earns 50k is a bad person or any less valuable than any other human being. But you cannot bounce your million dollar ideas off of a 50k person (unless you're planning on selling exlusively to them).

    Your 50k friends won't understand your challenges when building a business.

    The BEST you can hope for is that one or two of your 50k friends supports you in your journey. They tell you that you can do it and they SINCERELY hope you succeed... but they'll never come with you.

    The WORST that can happen is that they do and say things that hold you back. They invite you out and don't take no for an answer even when you've got a deadline to meet. They tease you until you have that 5th drink and you're hungover and ineffective the next day. They remind you most people just go get jobs, they ask you if you're going to go back to school. These are the insidious things that creep into your mind when you're in a moment of doubt.

    Here's the deal:

    The Path to entrepreneurship is not easy. You're going to have many obstacles, challenges, and problems. If you really want to make something happen -- it's unfortunate -- but you're going to need to build a support group.

    That's why so many of us hang out here. The 50k mentality is EVERYWHERE. It's rare you find an oasis like this.
     
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  25. Kak
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    Kak Capitalist Swine Read Millionaire Fastlane FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR Summit Attendee

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    This is blunt... but it is the truth. Rep+

    50k people are involved in 50k things... Multi-million dollar people are doing multi-million dollar things.

    I have found it extremely difficult to relate to the job working, tv binging, heavy drinking, and sports fanatic types for this reason.
     
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