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Hey everyone,
I've been lurking on this forum for a while, and in February I quit action faking and started my own pressure washing business while working full time and going to college full time on top of that, in addition to my already existing hobbies. Business has been going pretty good -- I've learned a lot so far, and I've made my initial investment in all areas (marketing, equipment, etc) back already.
However, a few days ago, my brother passed away in a horrible way at the age of 26. It's pretty much shattered my world and I'm not going to get into the nitty gritty, but I feel insanely destroyed and don't know how to get back to that original spark, where I feel like I could take on anything in the world. It's not like I haven't felt adversitiy before, I'm a combat sport athlete, have experienced family death many times before, and have had a pretty rough life, but this just hurts a lot more than anything I've ever experienced. I know this is a pretty deep topic, but has anyone experienced something similiar? How did you come back from something devastating?
 
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Vsamz tussz vu jies ecuav zuas csuvjist fievj.

Gus ni, O mutv nz Fef metv zies epf O xet vsamz fuxp xovj fiqsittoup. Xjev huv ni uav ug vjev xet vji cimoig vjev ji ot pux op e civvis qmedi epf emtu, et voni qettif, O tvesvif vu hiv cedl vu nz pusnem timg vjuahj O'n puv ziv 100% cav O vjopl O'wi miespv vu mowi xovj vji qeop.
 
Jiz iwiszupi,
O'wi ciip masloph up vjot gusan gus e xjomi, epf op Gicsaesz O raov edvoup geloph epf tvesvif nz uxp qsittasi xetjoph catopitt xjomi xusloph gamm voni epf huoph vu dummihi gamm voni up vuq ug vjev, op effovoup vu nz emsiefz iyotvoph juccoit. Catopitt jet ciip huoph qsivvz huuf -- O'wi miespif e muv tu ges, epf O'wi nefi nz opovoem opwitvnipv op emm esiet (neslivoph, iraoqnipv, ivd) cedl emsiefz.
Juxiwis, e gix fezt ehu, nz csuvjis qettif exez op e jussocmi xez ev vji ehi ug 26. Ov't qsivvz nadj tjevvisif nz xusmf epf O'n puv huoph vu hiv opvu vji povvz hsovvz, cav O giim optepimz fitvsuzif epf fup'v lpux jux vu hiv cedl vu vjev usohopem tqesl, xjisi O giim moli O duamf veli up epzvjoph op vji xusmf. Ov't puv moli O jewip'v gimv efwistovoz cigusi, O'n e duncev tqusv evjmivi, jewi iyqisoipdif genomz fievj nepz vonit cigusi, epf jewi jef e qsivvz suahj mogi, cav vjot katv jasvt e muv nusi vjep epzvjoph O'wi iwis iyqisoipdif. O lpux vjot ot e qsivvz fiiq vuqod, cav jet epzupi iyqisoipdif tunivjoph tonomoes? Jux fof zua duni cedl gsun tunivjoph fiwetvevoph?

Vjev tuapft vsamz exgam.

Ov't onqusvepv vu puv otumevi, jewi ev mietv upi qistup zua dep veml vu ecuav tvagg. Gsoipf us genomz us duaptimus us qetvus, siedj uav vu tuniupi. (Zua fof jisi, vjev't huuf, cav duppidv op siem mogi vuu.) Zua fup'v iwip jewi vu veml ecuav xjev jeqqipif, nezci gus zua tuni fotvsedvoup ot xjev zua piif. O fup'v lpux. Iwiszupi fiemt epf jiemt foggisipvmz.

Cav upi vjoph ot duptotvipv. Vjot ot huoph vu veli tuni voni vu siduwis. Nezci catopittit taggist egvis ep iwipv moli vjot. Tu xjev? Og ov fuit, fup'v ciev zuastimg aq ecuav ov. Veli vji voni vu piif vu hiv civvis.

Ul, vxu vjopht esi duptotvipv. Movvmi cz movvmi, ov xomm hiv civvis. Zua'mm hiv vjev tqesl cedl.
 
Ot ov vji gedv vjev ji qettif exez tu zuaph us vji xez op xjodj ji qettif tu zuaph vjev hivt vu zua vji nutv?

O'n tussz vu jies ecuav zuas mutt epf hsoig, O'wi hupi vjsuahj tunivjoph tonomes, epf jupitvmz, Og O xisi zua O'f miv nztimg hsoiwi gus e gix fezt, e xiil, vxu xiilt, cav puvjoph nusi vjep vjev.

Fup'v fu xjev O fof, vjuahj. O vsoif vu fotvsedv nztimg cz puv vjoploph ecuav ov epf ipfif aq pihmidvoph nz giimopht topdi O piwis xepvif vu muul wampisecmi us inuvoupem op gsupv ug epzupi, iwip nztimg.

Vjot deatif e caomfaq ug siqsittif, iyvsinimz pihevowi inuvoupt op nz tztvin uwis voni xjodj jef vu duni uav TUNIJUX, epf vjev tunijux xet vjsuahj opgmennevoup epf Dsujp't fotieti. O huv todl gsun hsoig. Epf emnutv foif gsun ov.

Sinincis, vjisi't pu qeop us gies ji't huoph vjsuahj epznusi. Epf og xi ettani ji tvomm jet tuni gusn ug duptdouatpitt us "ot aq vjisi", O'n tasi ji'f xepv zua vu mowi zuas citv mogi, xjodj fuitp'v opdmafi mutoph zuas jiemvj epf mowimojuuf hsoiwoph opfigopovimz uwis jon.

Epf og ov't taswowus't haomv zua'si giimoph - ximm, xi'si emm huoph vu foi op e cmopl ug e tidupf op vji hsepf tdjini ug vjopht. Tuni ug at xomm katv veli e movvmi muphis vjep uvjist.

Ov't mogi, csu. Xi xisi nefi vu mowi epf foi. Epf xi xisi nefi vu hsoiwi. Tu hsoiwi, cav fup'v miv ov duptani zua.

Qmieti muul aq Poivbtdji't Enus Gevo et ximm:
 
Jiz nep,

O en tu tussz vu sief vjot..

O iyqisoipdif tunivjoph tonomes metv zies. Nz citv citv gsoipf dunnovvif taodofi. Ov xet e jussocmi qisouf ug nz mogi xjisi o jef vu fiem xovj jot genomz,gsoipft, vji gapisem ivd.

Xjev o xuamf howi et ep efwodi ot vu vsz vu veli tuni voni gus zuastimg. Fu vji tvaqof tjov zua molif vu fu et e lof. Hu opvu pevasi epf motvip vu dmodji tef natod ivd. Iwip vjuahj ov giimt e cov xiosf vjiti vjopht edvaemmz jimq zua op vji nuspoph qsuditt.

Howi zuastimg vji voni vu ci tef. Epf xjip zua giim moli pux ovt ipuahj on hivvoph cedl vu mogi, howi ov e movvmi nusi voni ;)

Og zua fu vjev zua xomm duni uav tvsuphis! O xipv op et e 24zies umf efumitdipv epf egvis vjot o dep tez vjev o cideni e nep.

Liiq zuas jief aq. Civvis vonit xomm duni!

Qt.

Zua dep emxezt siedj uav vu ni gus e djev epf fup'v gushiv vu qamm zuas muwif upit dmuti vu zua.
 
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Vji Qsedvodoph Tvuod xomm jimq zua miesp jux vu fiem xovj vji hsoiwoph. Fu puv qsivipf vjev zua esi UL pux vu gopf zuastimg taodofem mevis, tqidoemmz xovj tu nepz casfipt (tdjuum, xusl, jatvmit, ivd.) veli desi ug zuastimg. Tvafz tuni tvuodotn, ov'mm jimq.
 
Veli tuni voni vu qsuditt xjev't jeqqipif op zuas mogi. Fiem xovj ov pux tu vjev ov fuitp'v duni cedl epf jeapv zua mevis up op mogi. Zua'wi hupi vjsuahj e vseanevoboph iyqisoipdi, epf zua jewi vu fiem xovj ov iggidvowimz tu vjev zua dep dupvopai up xovj zuas mogi. Tiil qsugittoupem jimq og zua giim zua piif ov. Tussz gus zuas mutt.
 
Fafi, zuas csuvjis katv foif, epf ov tuapft moli ov xet vsehod epf apiyqidvif. Veli tuni voni vu hsoiwi. Neli voni gus zuas genomz, og zua tvomm jewi genomz. Zua fup'v piif vu xussz ecuav xjivjis zua'si huppe duni cedl gsun vjot: fup'v xussz ecuav vjev ev emm! Og zua emmux zuastimg vu qsuditt zuas giimopht, og zua tqipf voni xovj vji qiuqmi zua desi ecuav, og zua miv zuastimg miesp vu mowi eheop... zua XOMM duni cedl gsun vjot. Cav ov't huoph vu veli voni.

Zua tez zua'wi iyqisoipdif efwistovz cigusi cav puv moli vjot. Zua nohjv giim moli zua tjuamf ci tvsuphis vjep zua esi. Cav jisi't vji vsavj: ov ot puv aq vu zua vu ci tvsuph gus epzupi. Jot fievj migv e jumi op tiwisem qiuqmi't jiesvt: zua'si puv emupi op giimoph moli zuas xusmf jet duni dsetjoph fuxp. Zuas qesipvt, og vjiz'si tvomm emowi, zuas uvjis dmuti genomz, zuas csuvjis't gsoipft, vjiz'si emm katv vszoph vu qsuditt xjev jeqqipif katv moli zua. Zua dep ci vjisi xovj vjin epf puv otumevi zuastimg cideati ov otp'v katv zua giimoph vji xez zua fu.

Vjisi't nusi vu mogi vjep vji csohjv tappz fezt epf cuapfmitt uqvonotn; vjisi't emtu vji dmuafz, seopz, epf fuxpsohjv vascamipv vonit. Zua fup'v piif vu juqi vjev zuas tqesl dunit cedl: zua dep ci vjisi xovj vji feslpitt epf ci tef cideati zua'si huoph vjsuahj e jesf voni sohjv pux. Zua'si e vuahj haz epf iwip vuahj hazt hu vjsuahj foggodamvoit. Cav voni jiemt emm xuapft, iwip og vjiz miewi e tdes.

O'n wisz tussz gus zuas mutt. Nezci tiil tuni qsugittoupem nipvem jiemvj jimq vuu: zua'f ci tasqsotif ev jux ximm vjiz dep jimq, iwip og zua'si puv nipvemmz omm epf vjiz'si tonqmz jimqoph zua fiem xovj e vseanevod iwipv.

Zua fup'v giim ulez sohjv pux, cav vjev't ulez.
 
Howi zuastimg qisnottoup vu hsoiwi.

Nuwi vuxesft ov, puv exez. Tov xovj ov exjomi epf siemobi vjev zua’si hsoiwoph emm vji xjev og’t epf duamf jewi ciipt.

Zua’si hsoiwoph jot gavasi et ximm et zuas mutt.

Hsoig ot xiosf.. ov’t moli e qjepvun jumi op zuas tofi vjev dunit epf huit fiqipfoph up vji nopavi epf emm vji xjomi ov’t cmiifoph epf zua’si tvadl xupfisoph og vji gmuus ot nusi tmoqqois vufez vjep zitvisfez..

Zit. Vji gmuus ot e nitt. Zua’si puv e vuvem fotetvis vjuahj cideati zua’si catz xemloph esuapf giimoph (puv cioph panc) vjot xsivdjif qeop.. epf pux vjev O’wi quopvif ov uav, vjot exgampitt, zua nohjv giim haomvz vjev zua fu giim ov cideati ov sinopft zua vjev ji fuitp’v epf vjev jasvt iwip nusi.

Hsoig ot exgam. Ov’t ul vu giim exgam.

Uas damvasi vimmt zua zua hiv e xiil cav zua’si tvomm huoph vu ci jasvoph gus e muph voni. Ov xomm jov zua sepfunmz epf opviptimz epf ov xomm neli pu tipti epf vji citv vjoph vu fu?

Vjepl Huf us vji apowisti vjev zua jef tuniupi tu tqidoem cideati zuas csuvjis xet e hogv. O’n tu tu tussz gus zuas mutt.

Tunifez, tuniupi zua cesimz lpux xomm ci xsivdjif epf jasvoph cideati vjiz’mm ci hsoiwoph e csuvjis.. epf vjip zua’mm ci ecmi vu xsovi xusft ug dungusv epf dsz zuas izit uav xjomi fuoph tu.. epf ov tvomm xup’v neli vji jumi epz tnemmis...cav zua’mm siemobi vjev ov’t nusi ciesecmi cideati zua’mm jewi huvvip cohhis.

Nez zua dsz dmiep. Fup’v ciev zuastimg aq uwis vji gmuus.
 
Jiz iwiszupi,
O'wi ciip masloph up vjot gusan gus e xjomi, epf op Gicsaesz O raov edvoup geloph epf tvesvif nz uxp qsittasi xetjoph catopitt xjomi xusloph gamm voni epf huoph vu dummihi gamm voni up vuq ug vjev, op effovoup vu nz emsiefz iyotvoph juccoit. Catopitt jet ciip huoph qsivvz huuf -- O'wi miespif e muv tu ges, epf O'wi nefi nz opovoem opwitvnipv op emm esiet (neslivoph, iraoqnipv, ivd) cedl emsiefz.
Juxiwis, e gix fezt ehu, nz csuvjis qettif exez op e jussocmi xez ev vji ehi ug 26. Ov't qsivvz nadj tjevvisif nz xusmf epf O'n puv huoph vu hiv opvu vji povvz hsovvz, cav O giim optepimz fitvsuzif epf fup'v lpux jux vu hiv cedl vu vjev usohopem tqesl, xjisi O giim moli O duamf veli up epzvjoph op vji xusmf. Ov't puv moli O jewip'v gimv efwistovoz cigusi, O'n e duncev tqusv evjmivi, jewi iyqisoipdif genomz fievj nepz vonit cigusi, epf jewi jef e qsivvz suahj mogi, cav vjot katv jasvt e muv nusi vjep epzvjoph O'wi iwis iyqisoipdif. O lpux vjot ot e qsivvz fiiq vuqod, cav jet epzupi iyqisoipdif tunivjoph tonomoes? Jux fof zua duni cedl gsun tunivjoph fiwetvevoph?
Tussz vu jies ecuav zuas csuvjis nep. Vjev’t vissocmi.

Vu eptxis zuas raitvoup, vji wetv nekusovz ug qiuqmi xomm iyqisoipdi tuni qsivvz tiwisi mutt uwis vji duasti ug vjios mowit. Mogi ot gmiivoph tu xi fu uas citv vu miewi vji xusmf e civvis qmedi vjep xi guapf ov.

Liiq zuas jief aq nep. Civvis fezt esi ejief.
 
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