How did you overcome your slowlane friends and family?

[sangmen]

So you are not forced, you just are unwilling to go all the way.
Let's be real for a minute: you made a topic here with a bunch of "they say this, they say that" and the only real answer that comes to mind is "so F*cking what". There is no way your family is going to change their minds because of some argument, so you're not going to get any solution from other users here.
You can't have your cake and eat it too. You either do what you want or what others want.

My dear friend, I have not asked for a solution up here. I never said anywhere I want a step by step solution on how to convince my parents and other slowlaners in my life. I know its not possible with talks, but only with action.
What I asked here is for a general idea on how everyone here in the fastlane deal with this? That's all.

 

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[Bellini]

What I asked here is for a general idea on how everyone here in the fastlane deal with this? That's all.

I have a feeling most of the guys here on the forum deal with this by telling people to screw off

https://www.thefastlaneforum.com/community/threads/its-not-about-how-hard-you-hit.25872/

 

[obrian]

 

[Damage Inc.]

Income is irrelevant when you're unhappy and doing shit 5 days a week you can't stand, of course, all in a controlled environment.

Something so simple seems so incomprehensible to Slowlane drones.

So true. When I left my job I gave some thought to how I might handle an offer to stay. At that point I was so fed up that even if my boss offered to double my pay I would still have left. It wasn't what I wanted out of life, period. Fortunately it was easy, he didn't offer me another penny to stay.

 

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[Mattie]

There is no way to resist your parents mindset other then standing up for what you want, which causes drama, and there is no easy way in life. You can either following their advice, their friends advice, and go down that road, hate it, and complain about it, or become self-reliant, independent, and get past your fears. Avoiding conflict means you're pleasing your parents, and giving up control of your life. Doing things so you don't rock the boat.

And M.J.'s right, you are allowing them to control your life, and hate to tell you, but you will get sick of it at some point, and wish twenty years later, you didn't stand up for yourself, and make your own choices. You either allow them to dictate your life and choose for you, or create your life.

They're not the one's that will change, you have to be the one to change, and they won't like your choices, because they have a different mindset. You can waste a lot of time arguing with people, but most of the time, they're right and you're wrong, even if they're wrong. And they usually know everything. And usually have good intentions and want you to succeed.

Making your own choices is difficult, but the other route is, being ticked and complaining about it all, but not doing anything about it, and taking action. Which really amounts to playing the victim. I want a life, but I can't have because mom and dad say so. They will be running your life until the day you die if you don't start living it for yourself.

 

[marklov]

This caused me some grief in the past with my parents.
But I learned that everyone has ideals.
You believe in yours and they have their own.
Focus on yours so you can reject theirs simple.

Looking back I wished I had stayed in college
I would atleast have had a good job to fund my business and
maybe test some systems on my boss's company before I tried them in the wilderness.

Instead I found myself shoveling crap in a landfill/ditch, sure I had a place to stay
but I sure wished I was in a nice office with AC.

Be respectful to your peeps whatever "slowlane" job they did
provided you with a home to live in .
My father worked a blue collar job and worked hard 8 ( yes) days a week
and I applied that work ethic to many of the things I do now.
SO there are lessons to be learned even from those in the "slowlane".

 

[sangmen]

Be respectful to your peeps whatever "slowlane" job they did
provided you with a home to live in .
My father worked a blue collar job and worked hard 8 ( yes) days a week
and I applied that work ethic to many of the things I do now.
SO there are lessons to be learned even from those in the "slowlane".

Of course I respect them, they helped me stay in their house, they educated me, brought me up despite the hardships they faced. But, I do not want to remain an employee in my life, because my dad has been changing jobs since the past 10 years or so; he has been losing his jobs frequently and getting new ones. As MJ mentioned in the book, the commandment of control is 0 here. My dad was a hitchhiker and his employer was the driver. He took full control and decided that my dad wont be in his company anymore. Furthermore, I believe that if you are good at something, and if everyone else thinks that you are good at it and if that is useful for society then why would I work for someone else? Cant I work for myself and provide the same benefit to more people?

 

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[Damage Inc.]

Furthermore, I believe that if you are good at something, and if everyone else thinks that you are good at it and if that is useful for society then why would I work for someone else? Cant I work for myself and provide the same benefit to more people?

Yes, exactly.

 

[Silver Silk]

Hey dude I can totally relate to your story. My parents have said things along the same lines. But they're a lot more negative about it than your parents seem.

I believe Every person can achieve success in any way - as long as they go after it.

Success is completely tied to how much society values you, but ultimately it's your life (Will you regret your life when you are 70+ years old) - it doesn't mean you HAVE to graduate college and get a job, or drop out and start microsoft. It is your life ultimately.

I've spent 1 year or almost 2 in isolation because I didn't want negative people distracting my vision. I have to say it wasn't a wise choice. What I found is that most of what your parents say is probably true. You are definitely not in a position to accomplish what you want to - THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN'T. It just means there's a lot of work.

I've found that talking and networking with like minded people and people who share similar dreams will boost your motivation. It will FRICKIN MOVE YOU OFF YOUR CHAIR and INTO ACTION. You see how they love what they do and truly dedicate their time to improvement. Most people do not really want to go through what it takes to "make it". I do. I know in my life - I will become a millionaire, most likely billionaire. I know that it doesn't happen in a day - and it doesn't happen from dreams. it happens through things you create with your action (as of right now I am typing on my laptop.).

The start of the journey is tough because you don't know where to walk. You don't know what to say. You don't know who to talk to. You don't know. You don't know. But the one thing you need to know is that adding value to others = success. I have yet to meet someone who has created something numerous people use - that has ended up being poor. It's very rare.

My father originally told me just go make some money - and hes very negative about this whole thing, screaming all that shabang. But he's an employee and doesn't understand when it comes to business - you need to deliver value first - you can't sell things for high price when you don't know what the hell you're even doing. Do something others at higher price / levels aren't willing to do. Your customers will love you for it.

You need to be able to separate truth from perception - if other people are millionaires why can't you be? You can. Doesn't mean you can doing the same things they did. But surely you can if you find the right way.

Anyway I would love to network with ya lol - what do you plan on doing for your first entrepreneurial venture?

I've learned a lot from my F*ckups. I learned that I dreamed too much. Didn't understand to make it real - it needs solid blocks set in reality. Without experience - your blocks are often not the right shape - so sometimes they don't fit into a correct puzzle.

But ultimately - if you want to move ahead - you need to DO something. CREATE something. See how it works. Dreaming doesn't have any feedback from the outside world. Nobody will ever see your vision the same way, unless you put it into solid form and show them.

You said you spent nearly 2 years in isolation because you didn't want negative influences then proceeded to conclude it wasn't a wise choice. why is that because im considering something similar, once I move out nobody (slowlaners/sidewalkers including friends & family) will probably see me unless its necessary. I too busy & focused on networking with similar minded people & working on my business.
I see this post is from 2015 so could you give a little update on how things are now too. Thanks mate

 

[windchaser]

I have lived a very similar situation than yours very closely through my husband, his parents had his lifeplan prepared for him and he could not even think of deviating from their script or they used emotional blackmail against him: with that they made him study what they chose and at the school they chose and pushed him to make many other decisions, even if they made him miserable.
Since Ivery known him, I always encouraged him to break the chains and rebel but he has not done it until recently.
It is very difficult to go against your family, the psychological part is harsh, especially at the beginning. What he did was what a lot of people is recommending in this thread: convince them with results, and they do not necessary need to be big profits, just seeing you are commited and thriving could be enough to earn their support (or minimize the pressure).
If your parents see that you are happier and they see you are committed to entrepreneurship, they eventually little by little will need to assume it and who knows, they might even end up supporting you.

 

[windchaser]

Well, as I mentioned earlier according to them the ONLY way of being successful is to go to school and get a degree, MBA and so on. I was enrolled in the CPA course by my parents and they already paid for it. I told them that's not what I want to do, and I would be wasting my time and their money because of it. However, they weren't convinced and now here I am doing it.

Another thing, I would try to change my mindset about the CPA.
Either don't do it at all or, if you decide to do it, try to make the best out of it. Don't think of it as a qualification that your parents force on you but as something you can learn and use for your business. After all your business is very related to accounting, maybe you can learn something there that you can use to create value to your customers.


As for dealing with your parents, I would avoid talking about the Ferrari and the Malibu house. To them you will sound as delusional as Galileo did to "earth centrists" when he claimed the earth rotated around the sun.

Instead, I would talk about how you identified a need and how you are working to solve it, and all the advances you are making on it.

Instead of talking if the wonders on the other side of the ocean, tell them about your progress building your boat or even best, show them your boat once it is built!

 

[luniac]

convince ur family ur too stupid for the slowlane LOL
worked for me. (j/k)