Two weeks ago my first love who I've been dating for 1.5 years broke up with me. For context, I'm 16 years old and turning 17 in a few months.
Before I went on my 1-week vacation she was so loving but once I got back she was acting completely distant. I told her we needed to have a talk because I was concerned and she broke up with me that day saying "we aren't compatible". The next day she wrote me a letter explaining that she broke up with me because I treated her poorly and we were never able to connect. I apologized to her after reading the letter and she accepted my apology, but was freaking out telling me about her problems at home and how she's having a crisis since she doesn't know what to do with her future. Then I asked her if she wants to give me a second chance and she told me that she is losing feelings for me.
Now I did treat her poorly looking back but I honestly never realized and thought she took things as a joke because she never mentioned anything and would just laugh. Now I feel guilty that its all my fault we broke up and I miss her a lot. I wish she cheated on me so then I can be mad and forget about her but I really loved her and still do I feel soooo bad.
Since then, sometimes I feel great and I'm filled with optimism but sometimes (especially at night or when Im alone) I feel so unbelievably sad and lose the will to do anything. I shared all my goals with her and she was a huge motivation for my business goals. We had a dream to go to Japan together when we graduate which motivated me but now I feel like its all meaningless.
So I came to the forum to ask for advice since you're all wise and have more life experience than me.
How can I stop thinking of her?
How do I stop feeling so guilty?
Will I always regret this and think of her when I'm 60 or will I forget about her once I get a new girl?
Will I ever find another like her or was she special since she was my first everything?
Before I went on my 1-week vacation she was so loving but once I got back she was acting completely distant. I told her we needed to have a talk because I was concerned and she broke up with me that day saying "we aren't compatible". The next day she wrote me a letter explaining that she broke up with me because I treated her poorly and we were never able to connect. I apologized to her after reading the letter and she accepted my apology, but was freaking out telling me about her problems at home and how she's having a crisis since she doesn't know what to do with her future. Then I asked her if she wants to give me a second chance and she told me that she is losing feelings for me.
Now I did treat her poorly looking back but I honestly never realized and thought she took things as a joke because she never mentioned anything and would just laugh. Now I feel guilty that its all my fault we broke up and I miss her a lot. I wish she cheated on me so then I can be mad and forget about her but I really loved her and still do I feel soooo bad.
Since then, sometimes I feel great and I'm filled with optimism but sometimes (especially at night or when Im alone) I feel so unbelievably sad and lose the will to do anything. I shared all my goals with her and she was a huge motivation for my business goals. We had a dream to go to Japan together when we graduate which motivated me but now I feel like its all meaningless.
So I came to the forum to ask for advice since you're all wise and have more life experience than me.
How can I stop thinking of her?
How do I stop feeling so guilty?
Will I always regret this and think of her when I'm 60 or will I forget about her once I get a new girl?
Will I ever find another like her or was she special since she was my first everything?
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