Advice Needed: How to get over public humiliation?

[ZackerySprague]

You are still affected about an event that happened about 4 years ago. This consumes you and you project this feeling into future actions that if you got passed that, you will act differently. So, you are traped in the past.

You had an "evolutionary experience", and you must find the golden nuggets from that experience.

There is a documentary on Netflix, with a psychotherapist, which gives you the tools to have a better life. Now, you are trapped on what he says "the maze". Having these thoughts after all this time stops you to be present.

The documentary is called - "Phil Stutz - The instruments ". Maybe you will find answers there.

Thank you. I’ll check it out

 

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[Antifragile]

Cowards die 1000’s of times in their lives, the brave only die once. Be brave man, face whatever it is, NOW. Do it NOW.

Fantastic quote! Worth quoting again.

Courage is key to good life.

 

[biophase]

It's quite the story this one, I was approached by a guy at Barnes and Nobles after picking up "The Untethered Soul" by Michael Singer and The surrender experiment.

Reminds me of this. Lol

HOT! - Biophase & Snowbank get pitched MLM in Barnes & Noble

Tonight @snowbank and I go to Barnes & Noble because Bill wanted to see the placement of his friend’s personal development book. We go to the personal development section and looking at his friend’s books and Bill makes a comment about a book. This 22 year old guy behind us says something about...

www.thefastlaneforum.com

The dude in your story sounds like a hustler too. That’s a lot of work he did just to try to sign you up!

 

[ZackerySprague]

Reminds me of this. Lol

HOT! - Biophase & Snowbank get pitched MLM in Barnes & Noble

Tonight @snowbank and I go to Barnes & Noble because Bill wanted to see the placement of his friend’s personal development book. We go to the personal development section and looking at his friend’s books and Bill makes a comment about a book. This 22 year old guy behind us says something about...

www.thefastlaneforum.com

The dude in your story sounds like a hustler too. That’s a lot of work he did just to try to sign you up!

Sad part was even my gut feeling told me that this was going to still be a bad idea, I didn't follow it. Oh yes, he pulled out all of the tools in his arsenal to get me to sign up. I still though think he was a great dude, would have loved to be friends with him. But it was a constant thing about network marketing. I love to network or meet new people and to learn about their backstories I do. But he wasn't liking my point of view about Amway.

 

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[Count Fluffernut]

Almost 4 years ago, when I was at my third IT job working in Downtown Dallas. I was working for a Fintech Firm as a Security Operations Analyst. Our Director had just placed in his two weeks notice before my third month into the job. The CIO took over our department, but was responsible for other departments. I was in charge of assisting the Security Engineer with the systems that he was maintaining or developing.

One of those systems was a vulnerability scanner called Rapid7 Nessus, it had a report function that would allow me to create reports and review vulnerabilities. The CIO didn't like how the report was created by default from the software itself. He wanted me to create a meeting with him and I to discuss the report, I invited the entire team (which was only about 4 people, to be honest). The meeting proceeded on a Thursday, the meeting proceeded and I told the individuals what the purpose of the meeting was and asked the CIO how he wanted the report to be changed. He flip the script and basically said that "No, this meeting was for you, not for me to discuss how I want to report to be made." In Slack, he did proceed to say that he wanted to change the report, but didn't remember that over our meeting. I'm sure I stepped on the wrong foot with him when I started off with the meeting with him taking charge.

He then proceeded to tell me "well how would you read the report." I read it exactly as it was structured, he didn't like what I said and from then on proceeded to publicly humiliate me and read the report a different way. You could tell he was not very pleased. He stated that we will discuss what happened on Today's meeting the following day when I went home.

The next day, he wasn't very happy at all foul language was used, we checked our objectives as to what I was doing how the progress was made. Towards the end of the call, he placed a PIP upon me. I did make a mistake by making a tweet about him on Twitter so many years ago. That I have accepted that was not right of me and of course I took ownership of this since the years have past.

But ever since I have locked myself away from the world, protecting myself from people, because of this experience.

Do you, any Fastlaners, have any tips on how I could overcome this obstacle?

I recently also had a bad experience with a network marketer who was from Amway trying to sell me or to become apart of his downline. Let's just say we met up yesterday at a Starbucks Coffee shop and it didn't go very well, because I had my walls up waiting for the sell. He didn't like what I thought of network marketing. I really thought the dude was cool and had some good stuff as we had several conversations. But what I didn't like though is that even though he displayed this persona of being an awesome, outgoing guy, he did make sneaky comments about your flaws in the process.

He basically told me, "Oh your just a dude that built up four walls and stopped network." To which he was right. I have been afraid of putting myself out there again, because of these experiences.

Would highly suggest reading The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer mate. Especially part 2 in the book, its might help you, it saved me personally when it came to protecting myself emotionally etc. Give that a go, wish you all the best.

EDIT: Sorry, just noticed that you had already known about it. My bad, lol

 

[Ing]

I don’t get it.
Is it right: a random guy spoke to you and filled you up with words of shit and wanted to sell you things and infos and a lifestyle and you really talked more than 10 words with him?

If I got it right, I tell you, what my dad told me: if someone You don’t know, makes a gift to you, he wants to cheat you!
Don’t talk to strangers and believe me: not everyone has to like you. And you not everyone. You can turn and go. Allways if you like.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

So from his observation, I don't trust people easily, I holed myself up in my apartment by building four walls, and I don't network with others. He didn't like what I said about Network Marketing and how I have a principle that I live by to which is to not push products or services in my friends and families faces and how he should start a company of his own. Why stay at Amway, when you get your money from your downline and you're apart of someone's downline. It's just a total Shazam. I then proceeded to tell him what do you think would happen if the Federal Trade Commission actually sue's Amway or your product's that are sold are no longer available. I ended the my point there, He then proceeded to ask questions about my background with MLM's and why I came to this opinion... Well... I learned from a good teacher . Then he stated the following "Well, if you had a bad experience, I then need to tell the organization or my group about it so that we don't do it ever again." Ah.... Group... that makes sense now, so are you talking about those people at the Karoke place? How about the word Partner you've been using?

To hell with his observations. From my observations, he's a dolt. That MLM shit sounds like it hasn't changed in 30 years. Approaching strangers at the book store? Wow, what a joke. If you need to stampede and steamroll people into a buying into your business, you're running a racket.

 

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[TheJon]

I enjoy the Instagram account "thepeopledispleaser". he posts some quick videos that I find helpful in resetting how I think about things, like, how people think of me, or how I think about myself

 

[Kevin88660]

Almost 4 years ago, when I was at my third IT job working in Downtown Dallas. I was working for a Fintech Firm as a Security Operations Analyst. Our Director had just placed in his two weeks notice before my third month into the job. The CIO took over our department, but was responsible for other departments. I was in charge of assisting the Security Engineer with the systems that he was maintaining or developing.

One of those systems was a vulnerability scanner called Rapid7 Nessus, it had a report function that would allow me to create reports and review vulnerabilities. The CIO didn't like how the report was created by default from the software itself. He wanted me to create a meeting with him and I to discuss the report, I invited the entire team (which was only about 4 people, to be honest). The meeting proceeded on a Thursday, the meeting proceeded and I told the individuals what the purpose of the meeting was and asked the CIO how he wanted the report to be changed. He flip the script and basically said that "No, this meeting was for you, not for me to discuss how I want to report to be made." In Slack, he did proceed to say that he wanted to change the report, but didn't remember that over our meeting. I'm sure I stepped on the wrong foot with him when I started off with the meeting with him taking charge.

He then proceeded to tell me "well how would you read the report." I read it exactly as it was structured, he didn't like what I said and from then on proceeded to publicly humiliate me and read the report a different way. You could tell he was not very pleased. He stated that we will discuss what happened on Today's meeting the following day when I went home.

The next day, he wasn't very happy at all foul language was used, we checked our objectives as to what I was doing how the progress was made. Towards the end of the call, he placed a PIP upon me. I did make a mistake by making a tweet about him on Twitter so many years ago. That I have accepted that was not right of me and of course I took ownership of this since the years have past.

But ever since I have locked myself away from the world, protecting myself from people, because of this experience.

Do you, any Fastlaners, have any tips on how I could overcome this obstacle?

I recently also had a bad experience with a network marketer who was from Amway trying to sell me or to become apart of his downline. Let's just say we met up yesterday at a Starbucks Coffee shop and it didn't go very well, because I had my walls up waiting for the sell. He didn't like what I thought of network marketing. I really thought the dude was cool and had some good stuff as we had several conversations. But what I didn't like though is that even though he displayed this persona of being an awesome, outgoing guy, he did make sneaky comments about your flaws in the process.

He basically told me, "Oh your just a dude that built up four walls and stopped network." To which he was right. I have been afraid of putting myself out there again, because of these experiences.

I am not in your exact spot to know what kind of person your CIO is. You figure out what kind of person they are and then you know how to deal with them.

There are two possibilities here.

1) He is petty minded and it was personal. He was making use of the report saga to get back of you for your tweet against him years ago. Since he had already vented his anger once this is over and it should be over. You can start your relationship with him fresh again on anew basis without prejudice.

2) It was nothing personal and he is just a typical superior who wants things to get done quickly, without doing the necessary communication to the people working under him. When you remind him of the fact that he didn’t communicate well he gets defensive and angry. I think you just have to do the extra mile to communicate with them to check with them what they actually want.

Either way it shows that he is not someone easy to get along with and he doesn’t like to be challenged.

 

[ZackerySprague]

Hey Guys,

I wanted to come on here and to say Thank you all for all of your inputs and to show my appreciation. After going back to the Office for my day job this past Friday your Advice helped tremendously. But now I can't help the feeling of being stuck in a cubicle and not wanting to be there for two days a week wasting my time haha, instead I want to be the top instead. Even met the CEO, I was the first guy at 6:00am in the morning haha.

Anyway, Thank you guys.

Have a great Sunday!

 

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[ZackerySprague]

To hell with his observations. From my observations, he's a dolt. That MLM shit sounds like it hasn't changed in 30 years. Approaching strangers at the book store? Wow, what a joke. If you need to stampede and steamroll people into a buying into your business, you're running a racket.

This means a lot MJ, thank you. I forgot to reply back to this, honestly I let the MLM guy get to me for what he stated. Once I read this, made me feel better.