If any of you have parents that are still alive and you also have siblings, I would advise you to tell your parents to find a neutral 3rd party who is trustworthy and capable of administering their estate and naming them the executor—or—co-executor in their will.
Why? Because no matter what your relationship with your sibling(s) is(are), you are almost surely going to run into bullshit.
If you are named executor, expect a storm.
Money has a way of screwing with people's moral compass, and they will find a way of either trying to bend the rules for their benefit, sow seeds of discord among the other family members, shirk responsibility, or feel that they are entitled to way more than they really are. Money (especially a good sum of money) has a way of doing this.
I'm currently going through this. I was named executor. Years ago I had asked my mom to name a professional fiduciary, someone neutral, experienced, principled. This helps eliminate stress, arguing, bad feelings, and the assorted shit storm of Shakespeare-like morality plays that place you smack dab in the middle.
My mom had a will and trust drawn up, but no professional named as executor of the will. Instead, I was named. When you have 4 siblings, the dynamics get complicated real quick. It taps into a lot of sensitive issues and squabbling over past perceived slights.
I have to mitigate requests, say "no" a lot, explain how this shit works, squash family squabbles, gather all the assets, secure the property, go through probate, make sure everyone knows exactly what is going on, which means a lot of mail and copies of documents to people so they are "in the know", handle all business related to the estate, pay taxes and debts, distribute the remainder to the beneficiaries.
Not to mention I'm 100% liable for all acts and omissions. If they aren't happy, my personal assets are at stake.
I want to repeat that: If you become executor of an estate, you are 100% liable. Your personal assets are at stake.
It's been said that money amplifies who you really are. After watching how some of my siblings have acted, I looked up to the sky and apologized to my mom.
I'm keeping track of my hours, and I'll be damn sure to get compensated to the full extent of what the state allows, but damn. I didn't need this. But I have to, because some has to do what's necessary. However, the money you receive is sometimes not worth the trouble, stress, and time it takes from your family. Estates can take a year or longer to complete.
Do yourselves a favor. Get your folks to name a professional fiduciary at least as a co-executor so you can play good cop / bad cop. Even a family friend who is an attorney or CPA can be a good option.
Bring the subject up to your parents if they have a will. Do it now.
Why? Because no matter what your relationship with your sibling(s) is(are), you are almost surely going to run into bullshit.
If you are named executor, expect a storm.
Money has a way of screwing with people's moral compass, and they will find a way of either trying to bend the rules for their benefit, sow seeds of discord among the other family members, shirk responsibility, or feel that they are entitled to way more than they really are. Money (especially a good sum of money) has a way of doing this.
I'm currently going through this. I was named executor. Years ago I had asked my mom to name a professional fiduciary, someone neutral, experienced, principled. This helps eliminate stress, arguing, bad feelings, and the assorted shit storm of Shakespeare-like morality plays that place you smack dab in the middle.
My mom had a will and trust drawn up, but no professional named as executor of the will. Instead, I was named. When you have 4 siblings, the dynamics get complicated real quick. It taps into a lot of sensitive issues and squabbling over past perceived slights.
I have to mitigate requests, say "no" a lot, explain how this shit works, squash family squabbles, gather all the assets, secure the property, go through probate, make sure everyone knows exactly what is going on, which means a lot of mail and copies of documents to people so they are "in the know", handle all business related to the estate, pay taxes and debts, distribute the remainder to the beneficiaries.
Not to mention I'm 100% liable for all acts and omissions. If they aren't happy, my personal assets are at stake.
I want to repeat that: If you become executor of an estate, you are 100% liable. Your personal assets are at stake.
It's been said that money amplifies who you really are. After watching how some of my siblings have acted, I looked up to the sky and apologized to my mom.
I'm keeping track of my hours, and I'll be damn sure to get compensated to the full extent of what the state allows, but damn. I didn't need this. But I have to, because some has to do what's necessary. However, the money you receive is sometimes not worth the trouble, stress, and time it takes from your family. Estates can take a year or longer to complete.
Do yourselves a favor. Get your folks to name a professional fiduciary at least as a co-executor so you can play good cop / bad cop. Even a family friend who is an attorney or CPA can be a good option.
Bring the subject up to your parents if they have a will. Do it now.
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