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EXECUTION From Copy To Commerce - The Journey

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nickalden

New Contributor
Sep 5, 2020
8
19
13
indonesia
Hi guys!

I am really excited today. A small win, but a win indeed.

This execution post was due last week, but I didn't want to come here with nothing.
I decided that I will take the path of freelance copywriting, and after taking the first step of going on upwork and mustering up the courage to send various proposals.
I am proud to say, I finished my first $5 gig three days ago!

Wew...

What an accomplishment. (please dont laugh first lol)

It is for me though. The first step is always the hardest. I learnt that in calisthenics. The first few reps of a new skill is always the hardest.

It took me 5 hours to write an about us page for the client. I don't think it was nearly good in the end. But I gave my best and researched HARD for it.
AND NOW
I am in the process of closing a $200 client! Am really excited for this. I will work with a designer friend of mine on this gig as he is a PRO.

Things are looking great. My goal is to get to $1,000 per week freelancing in 90 days.
Pumped for what's next. I will update my victories and also my losses.
Remember bois, men, and the lurkers out there. It just takes one step forward. One step.

P.S.
I want to thank @Lex DeVille for the insanely MASSIVE amount of value he gives FOR FREE (both here and on YT)! He also pushes the concept of 'Just freaking do it!'.
You guys should read his threads and @IceCreamKid 's threads. It will help push you forward.
Thanks to @Kasimir too, he's a great guy!

Anyone reading this, have a great GREAT day!
Cheers,
Alden
 

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Stargazer

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Well done on that first step then. :)

I am glad to see that you rapidly increased your rate for your second outing.

Dan
 

Dianne Cohen

Contributor
Sep 7, 2018
75
56
47
Hi guys!

I am really excited today. A small win, but a win indeed.

This execution post was due last week, but I didn't want to come here with nothing.
I decided that I will take the path of freelance copywriting, and after taking the first step of going on upwork and mustering up the courage to send various proposals.
I am proud to say, I finished my first $5 gig three days ago!

Wew...

What an accomplishment. (please dont laugh first lol)

It is for me though. The first step is always the hardest. I learnt that in calisthenics. The first few reps of a new skill is always the hardest.

It took me 5 hours to write an about us page for the client. I don't think it was nearly good in the end. But I gave my best and researched HARD for it.
AND NOW
I am in the process of closing a $200 client! Am really excited for this. I will work with a designer friend of mine on this gig as he is a PRO.

Things are looking great. My goal is to get to $1,000 per week freelancing in 90 days.
Pumped for what's next. I will update my victories and also my losses.
Remember bois, men, and the lurkers out there. It just takes one step forward. One step.

P.S.
I want to thank @Lex DeVille for the insanely MASSIVE amount of value he gives FOR FREE (both here and on YT)! He also pushes the concept of 'Just freaking do it!'.
You guys should read his threads and @IceCreamKid 's threads. It will help push you forward.
Thanks to @Kasimir too, he's a great guy!

Anyone reading this, have a great GREAT day!
Cheers,
Alden
Nice Job!
 

nickalden

New Contributor
Sep 5, 2020
8
19
13
indonesia
Happy new year guys!

This one month has not been really good in terms of progress. At least not what I expected. But it could be attributed to the fact that I didn't try hard enough, even though there was much free time on the holidays.

Upwork total earnings right now: $49
Jobs: 3
Proposals: 29

I feel like the ratio is around 1 job every 10 proposals. With this in mind, I will start upping my proposal game to 5 per day. It may be because I don't have much of a portfolio yet. But let's see!
I compiled some of my proposals in a google doc, which I think is pretty you-focused but don't seem to be pulling in clients. Maybe you guys can also learn what to do/ what not to do.
Are there any suggestions on something I could improve?


I've also made a website for my younger sister's business: www.AngelCakery.com
I'm pretty proud of it, but I am kinda stuck on how to drive traffic to the site. I am testing Google ads, but it doesn't seem like it's getting much traffic.

What do you guys think about the website? Are there any suggestions on how to improve and growing the traffic? Are there any other good traffic sources, especially for cake sellers?

Am interested in @Andy Black 's GoogleAds and lead gen course. May give it a try!
Thanks all, I'll update soon :)
 

Madame Peccato

Silver Contributor
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Your proposals seem a little too long to me.

The first one overstays its welcome, you don't need to use so many words to specify how attracting other people works, plus, I think the comparison is poor in general. You risk hurting feelings / trigger a psychological stigma cwith it. I'd rewrite it to make it shorter and avoid using humans in general when writing metaphors. Look for other examples of attraction if you really wish, perhaps in the animal world.

The second one is HUGE, and you also sound way too desperate when you type sentences such as "my dearest [name] deserve the best service". I can smell the thirst for the work in your text, and a lot of clients will as well. I see that it worked, which is great, but I wouldn't expect it to get you far if you don't cut down a bit of the fat.

Click, whirr is a fun little sentence taken directly from "Influence" but I don't know if I'd keep it, and separating it with a period also feels weird. I think you could get rid of the entire paragraph "But first [...] Cash." and replace it with your questions after the P.S.. Is the spacing in the doc the one you use in your proposals? That also feels a little off, your paragraphs feels poorly organized, though it might be because of Google Docs being weird.

3rd proposal: the headline is okay, but remove the VERY in all caps, it's an unnecessary word, and also fuels the "thirst for the job" feel that your proposals all seem to have. And also you seem to promise a little too much delivery wise, I'm not a fan. Make it more specific, either the emails, or the social media posts, or the ad copy.

You need to fix your grammar as well e.g. in point number 3
What problem does your product solve for your target audience?

or in point number 1

If no, are there any similar websites/references?
Google Doc is telling you there is a mistake with this one, be careful! If you want to be a good copywriter, perfect grammar is mandatory. Yes, great copywriters have said otherwise, but they are so good at writing that they can bend the rules and give their copy more oomph. Since you aren't at that level yet, stick to trying to be as grammatically accurate as possible in your writing.

There are a lot of words that you should remove from this proposals. For example, point number 2 could be shortened to "Who is your target audience?", remove point number 4, and the sentence "Well then, how about we get to work!" feels needy and desperate. You are asking way too many questions. You even asked them in 2 different section, that's not optimal. Stick to 3-4 questions at most, and make sure to ask targeted and relevant ones.

You can use tools like Grammarly (Premium is great if you can affordt it and find it at a good discount, but the free version is already good enough) and the Hemingway app to improve on your writing

Hope I helped, if you have any questions feel free to ask!
 

nickalden

New Contributor
Sep 5, 2020
8
19
13
indonesia
@Madame Peccato
I want to say thank you very much for taking the time out of your day to go through my proposals. I really am grateful for it. Reading through your reply actually made me hurt a little, but it was well deserved. I was TOO desperate and didn't even realize it. I have not tried reading my proposals from a client's perspective.
The first one overstays its welcome, you don't need to use so many words to specify how attracting other people works, plus, I think the comparison is poor in general. You risk hurting feelings / trigger a psychological stigma cwith it. I'd rewrite it to make it shorter and avoid using humans in general when writing metaphors. Look for other examples of attraction if you really wish, perhaps in the animal world.
Yep, very well noted. I was using way too much imagery on this one.
Is the spacing in the doc the one you use in your proposals? That also feels a little off, your paragraphs feels poorly organized, though it might be because of Google Docs being weird.
It is. Can you elaborate on this? Is using line breaks often not good?

Stick to 3-4 questions at most, and make sure to ask targeted and relevant ones.
I struggle with asking the right questions and tend to ask broad ones such as audience, product, solution, and stats. What should you ask a client regarding their job post? (Clarity?)

Main takeaways: Do not seem desperate and pushy.
Use appropriate metaphors, and keep it short.
Watch my grammar.

Again, thanks for the feedback. It really helped me and I hope it helps other newbies like me :)
Have an amazing day!
 

Madame Peccato

Silver Contributor
Read Millionaire Fastlane
I've Read UNSCRIPTED
Speedway Pass
Jul 14, 2018
237
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Morbegno, Italy
@Madame Peccato
I want to say thank you very much for taking the time out of your day to go through my proposals. I really am grateful for it. Reading through your reply actually made me hurt a little, but it was well deserved. I was TOO desperate and didn't even realize it. I have not tried reading my proposals from a client's perspective.

It's good that you felt discomfort, it means that you are growing!

It is. Can you elaborate on this? Is using line breaks often not good?
It is, but only when it makes sense to do so. You should think in term of paragraphs. For example, the following two sentences could be in the same paragraph.

I think this is a noble and worthy cause. And I want to help.
I will write you two emails, two social media posts, and an ad copy or article in under a day.
The same goes for other spots in your proposal. This is mostly a feel thing, it's not hard science. You will get used to it in time.

Just remember that when you are talking about something keep it all in the same paragraph when possible. Writing text is much like writing music, you need cadence and rhythm, which are achieved through punctuation and line breaks.

Too many line breaks are annoying.

Too little make the text feel daunting and boring.

Mix and match sentences of different lengths to create paragraphs that are interesting to read and that feel lively.

Re-read your proposals carefully and break them down into macro areas; you may want to start with a hook to pull the client in in the first pragraph, then use the second paragraph to ask questions, or to show how you can help your client with their copy, and then a last paragraph about the qualities you feel represent you best, in this case quick turnaround and clear communication.

I struggle with asking the right questions and tend to ask broad ones such as audience, product, solution, and stats. What should you ask a client regarding their job post? (Clarity?)

Your questions are fine topic-wise, my main issue with them is that you are adding a lot of unnecessary words to them, and that you are asking too many of them. Get your questions from your client's job posts. If they are too cryptic, general questions like the ones you are asking are fine, they show you care about the project and that you are putting effort into your proposal.

Other general questions you could ask include reference material, or an example of copy that they feel is well done.
 

nickalden

New Contributor
Sep 5, 2020
8
19
13
indonesia
Thanks for your wisdom @Madame Peccato, I am trying to improve my pitches based on your suggestions. We'll see the results!

I read a few of your posts and I assume that you are (or was) a freelance copywriter too.
How did it go? Are you still in freelance writing right now? Aside from UpWork, would you recommend prospecting on LinkedIn, a website for inbound leads, or other sources? When you started, I guess you don't have much to back up your word. How did you go about getting those first proven results?

In what ways are you implementing your copywriting skills right now? (Agency? E-com? Marketing?)

Thanks for your help. Have a great day!

P.S. Any other newer or experienced copywriters reading this? Maybe you can share your experiences too!
 

Madame Peccato

Silver Contributor
Read Millionaire Fastlane
I've Read UNSCRIPTED
Speedway Pass
Jul 14, 2018
237
619
263
28
Morbegno, Italy
I read a few of your posts and I assume that you are (or was) a freelance copywriter too.
How did it go? Are you still in freelance writing right now? Aside from UpWork, would you recommend prospecting on LinkedIn, a website for inbound leads, or other sources?
I was mostly a translator, with writing on the side. I'm going all in on copywriting this year, I plan to start an execution thread here by next week, so stay tuned to follow my epic journey into the swamp that is the internet.

I'm going to do all of these: Upwork, LinkedIn, and a website.
When you started, I guess you don't have much to back up your word. How did you go about getting those first proven results?
I don't need to back up my words when I don't make any special promise. I never sold results, because I didn't have any, I sold a process. I can't promise I will 10x your ROI when I'm new, I can promise that I will deliver the best quality work within the realm of my possibilities.

Most clients that are seeking out new writers understand that they won't just go and find out the next David Olgivy for $5, so don't try to be someone you aren't. Be honest, say what you will do, and be confident in your skills.
 

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