Don't over-apologize

[B-qiri]

What do you guys think about this realization, agree or no?

By sheer luck, you find an offer under the mess on your desk and you stop.

That offer should have been sent 2 weeks ago like you promised firmly and with confidence.

Now you realize that it was sitting here and you not only lost a 5k order but betrayed your word that you've given so confidently.

What do you do? Send it of course! With a juicy apology: "I'm so incredibly sorry, this never happens" and so on.

Don't do that.

What signal are you sending? That your error is almost unforgivable, certainly extremly unprofessional. Even if your client may have been very patient, after THIS apology he won't be. Suddenly he'll realize how incompetent you are and wonders if working with you was a good idea.

Have you seen the videos where people just act like a baby has been hurt and the baby starts crying because of that acting as if it has been hurt for real? It's more or less the same here.

Instead

Be human about it with a brief apology or none and how your offer is going to help your customer. A short annotation like "I'm sorry to send it so late but now we can start this great opportunity to XY"

This way, you're shifting the focus away from your mistake and to the value you're providing.

Even if mistakes like this happen regularly, the solution is not to go about apologizing all day but to work on your process so that it doesn't happen at all or at the least very rarely.

Short apology and immediately going to the solution instead of lengthy tear-jerkers.

What is your opinion?

 

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[Kevin88660]

What do you guys think about this realization, agree or no?

By sheer luck, you find an offer under the mess on your desk and you stop.

That offer should have been sent 2 weeks ago like you promised firmly and with confidence.

Now you realize that it was sitting here and you not only lost a 5k order but betrayed your word that you've given so confidently.

What do you do? Send it of course! With a juicy apology: "I'm so incredibly sorry, this never happens" and so on.

Don't do that.

What signal are you sending? That your error is almost unforgivable, certainly extremly unprofessional. Even if your client may have been very patient, after THIS apology he won't be. Suddenly he'll realize how incompetent you are and wonders if working with you was a good idea.

Have you seen the videos where people just act like a baby has been hurt and the baby starts crying because of that acting as if it has been hurt for real? It's more or less the same here.

Instead

Be human about it with a brief apology or none and how your offer is going to help your customer. A short annotation like "I'm sorry to send it so late but now we can start this great opportunity to XY"

This way, you're shifting the focus away from your mistake and to the value you're providing.

Even if mistakes like this happen regularly, the solution is not to go about apologizing all day but to work on your process so that it doesn't happen at all or at the least very rarely.

Short apology and immediately going to the solution instead of lengthy tear-jerkers.

What is your opinion?

Depends on the context.

If we have done a great disservice to others then we should apologize sincerely.

“Incredibly sorry and this never happens” conveys a feeling of remorse and panic which is not necessary in dealing with your client. They are not your boss/friend.

Maybe just state that “I am deeply sorry that I have overlooked it. Here is document. Let us get started soon. Do ask me if you have any question.”

Too much apology is not necessary because in the context you screwed up on yourself not the client.

If you forgot to send an offer, and you didn’t get any reminder from the opposite side, most likely they are not dying to do business with you, and they are going to look through several of your competitor’s offer before making an decision. Things won’t change much even if the offer arrived on time.

The purpose is not trying to brush off your failings, which I think it will backfire. You should apologize sincerely if you screw up. But in that context you don’t have to because you at most screwed up on yourself (if there is any victim) by not sending the sellers’ offer. The buyers are in position of power and they are not in anyway jeopardized if one of the supplier’s quote did not arrive on time.

 

[B-qiri]

Depends on the context.

If we have did a great disservice to others then we should apologize sincerely.

“Incredibly sorry and this never happens” conveys a feeling of remorse and panic which is not necessary in dealing with your client. They are not your boss/friend.

Maybe just state that “I am deeply sorry that I have overlooked it. Here is document. Let us get started soon. Do ask me if you have any question.”

Too much apology is not necessary because in the context you screwed up on yourself not the client.

If you forgot to send an offer, and you didn’t get any reminder from the opposite side, most likely they are not dying to do business with you, and they are going to look through several of your competitor’s offer before making an decision. Things won’t change much even if the offer arrived on time.

The purpose is not trying to brush off your failings, which I think it will backfire. You should apologize sincerely if you screw up. But in that context you don’t have to because you at most screwed up on yourself (if there is any victim) by not sending the sellers’ offer. The buyers are in position of power and they are not in anyway jeopardized if one of the supplier’s quote did not arrive on time.

Definitely! If you really screwed up you should stand up for it and definitely apologize.

I guess what I mean are these little things. Another example would be to be late to an appointment or not showing up at all.

An apology, however big, won't give me back my time.

I have the feeling that the goal of over-apologizing is to kind of make up for a mistake like being late. I'd much rather you just aren't late in the future than almost trying to get me to feel sorry for you.

 

[Kevin88660]

Definitely! If you really screwed up you should stand up for it and definitely apologize.

I guess what I mean are these little things. Another example would be to be late to an appointment or not showing up at all.

An apology, however big, won't give me back my time.

I have the feeling that the goal of over-apologizing is to kind of make up for a mistake like being late. I'd much rather you just aren't late in the future than almost trying to get me to feel sorry for you.

It is different when you are late for an appointment. Because you made others wait for you. It is better to apologize sincerely and error on the side of safety. While you think it doesn’t matter much others might think otherwise. When dealing with people it is never wrong to error on the safe side.

In sales most potential buyers just collect quotes and forget to read them at all. (95 percent of the case). If they are dying to do business with you they will write to you if you forget about it. If that happens do sincerely apologize because they are a sincere buyer that you don’t want to offend. Otherwise you are just apologizing to the air. Hence a simple standard apology as a sign of courtesy is more than sufficient.

 

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[B-qiri]

It is different when you are late for an appointment. Because you made others wait for you. It is better to apologize sincerely and error on the side of safety. While you think it doesn’t matter much others might think otherwise. When dealing with people it is never wrong to error on the safe side.

In sales most potential buyers just collect quotes and forget to read them at all. (95 percent of the case). If they are dying to do business with you they will write to you if you forget about it. If that happens do sincerely apologize because they are a sincere buyer that you don’t want to offend. Otherwise you are just apologizing to the air. Hence a simple standard apology as a sign of courtesy is more than sufficient.

Yep, not saying to not apologize, just not overdoing it and making the mistake the main focus