The Entrepreneur Forum | Financial Freedom | Starting a Business | Motivation | Money | Success

Welcome to the only entrepreneur forum dedicated to building life-changing wealth.

Build a Fastlane business. Earn real financial freedom. Join free.

Join over 80,000 entrepreneurs who have rejected the paradigm of mediocrity and said "NO!" to underpaid jobs, ascetic frugality, and suffocating savings rituals— learn how to build a Fastlane business that pays both freedom and lifestyle affluence.

Free registration at the forum removes this block.

Dive in, with family

Topics relating to managing people and relationships

c3a

New Contributor
User Power
Value/Post Ratio
43%
Nov 23, 2019
7
3
Hello everyone!
I would like some advice of those that haves experience with business and family.
I am dad of a 5yo boy and have a wife. But both haves personality of being with people and calling for attention(mostly includes being with me). But I am more the cave guy, can sit in front of computer or in workshop, and I am fine with that for a long time.

The thing what happens since we met is that my wife calls for my attention so much, and sometimes we get to big fights. It doesn't happens so explicitly as I say, because this fights hides bellow other random topics. But the root from it, is from me spending "too much" time on my own. The fact is that I do spend a lot of time, working, improving stuff, studying, as I wanna get freaking much to fastlane. But all the time I spend time working in my "free time" my wife just gets mad, and doesn't even talks to me, although there is no other problem besides that I didn't spend the day with her. It can even be scheduled in advance, when I say I will need a day to do something, problems starts to arise from the air.

She is very lonely because she doesn't have any friends around town, so she is very socially anxious.

I don't know what to do because I feel guilty of being working, and I am loosing hope. When we talk about this topic, things go bad and she can swear that she has no problem with me working overtime.

She wants us to go fastlane, but I guess some inner fear of being alone calls out louder somehow.

Do some of you guys experienced this? I wanna work so hard, and I am struggling with myself being guilty about it. How to cope hardworking with family?

And those that haves wife, with this problem or not, do you feel supported? Cause I am starting to believe it isn't possible to be supported in this road.

Looking forward for answers!
 
Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

Vigilante

Legendary Contributor
Staff member
FASTLANE INSIDER
EPIC CONTRIBUTOR
Read Fastlane!
Read Unscripted!
Summit Attendee
Speedway Pass
User Power
Value/Post Ratio
596%
Oct 31, 2011
11,116
66,265
Gulf Coast
Expand the clock. After work hours (around dinner time) she may need help with your son. And, your son will only be this little for a short time. So here's what I would do :

1. reserve your studying for after he is in bed
2. get up at 5AM instead of 7AM, and spend those two hours on your business and studies

You need to be able to successfully manage BOTH. Down the road, when your business is successful you can reschedule again. But for today, you have to fit your studies (which are important) around your family (which is MORE important).

Your wife will support you as the business takes shape later, Today, she probably feels the same... like she is not supported by you. You can change that. You can do it all. You just have to structure your schedule differently.
 

c3a

New Contributor
User Power
Value/Post Ratio
43%
Nov 23, 2019
7
3
Expand the clock. After work hours (around dinner time) she may need help with your son. And, your son will only be this little for a short time. So here's what I would do :

1. reserve your studying for after he is in bed
2. get up at 5AM instead of 7AM, and spend those two hours on your business and studies

You need to be able to successfully manage BOTH. Down the road, when your business is successful you can reschedule again. But for today, you have to fit your studies (which are important) around your family (which is MORE important).

Your wife will support you as the business takes shape later, Today, she probably feels the same... like she is not supported by you. You can change that. You can do it all. You just have to structure your schedule differently.
Thank you very much for your reply. I guess you are right. I have been waking up earlier whenever I can, but what may lacks is an agreed schedule, so there is clearly the time I support her, and clearly the time she supports me. I might try that!
 

Vigilante

Legendary Contributor
Staff member
FASTLANE INSIDER
EPIC CONTRIBUTOR
Read Fastlane!
Read Unscripted!
Summit Attendee
Speedway Pass
User Power
Value/Post Ratio
596%
Oct 31, 2011
11,116
66,265
Gulf Coast
Thank you very much for your reply. I guess you are right. I have been waking up earlier whenever I can, but what may lacks is an agreed schedule, so there is clearly the time I support her, and clearly the time she supports me. I might try that!

Try it a few weeks with perfect consistency and let us know.
 
Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

kleine2

Bronze Contributor
Read Fastlane!
Read Unscripted!
Speedway Pass
User Power
Value/Post Ratio
135%
Sep 15, 2013
155
210
I also recommend that you find ways to encourage your wife to take up other hobbies and social connections too. Without that it can be hard in the long run.
 

c3a

New Contributor
User Power
Value/Post Ratio
43%
Nov 23, 2019
7
3
I also recommend that you find ways to encourage your wife to take up other hobbies and social connections too. Without that it can be hard in the long run.

Yea, you are right. We have been to first couple therapy last week, and it got highlighted the lack of support network she has now (regards friends and family close). So it increases her anxiety about seeing me there "doing something else".

I will for sure help her establishing that, will help with everything, not only getting into fastlane.

Thank you very much
 

Lyinx

Silver Contributor
Read Rat-Race Escape!
Read Fastlane!
Read Unscripted!
Speedway Pass
User Power
Value/Post Ratio
128%
Oct 28, 2019
581
742
Lancaster County, PA
I don't have a family (yet) but am engaged for this fall.

My father got our family to take some marriage seminar courses a few years ago, which helped "figure out" relationships.


You can find a lot of his materials on YouTube, but to get the full experience you can do a seminar/online experience together as a team.

Bonus points: can you imagine what goes through your wife's head if you say the following words: honey, I know you and I struggle with our relationship sometimes, would you be willing to do this course with me?

My father and mother say they had a rough time as young married, sure doesn't seem that way to me:) they credit a large part of that to working together on the marriage.

Also, can you set a certain time to be together each day?
Also a date night, once a week?
And give her permission to come into your bat cave after hours, she may think that you don't want company there, but give her a time that you appreciate her company (maybe after dinner?) And possibly get her to look over what you've done today, explain it to her. You will get additional insights into you work, and she might even get an interest in your work:)
 
Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

c3a

New Contributor
User Power
Value/Post Ratio
43%
Nov 23, 2019
7
3
I don't have a family (yet) but am engaged for this fall.

My father got our family to take some marriage seminar courses a few years ago, which helped "figure out" relationships.


You can find a lot of his materials on YouTube, but to get the full experience you can do a seminar/online experience together as a team.

Bonus points: can you imagine what goes through your wife's head if you say the following words: honey, I know you and I struggle with our relationship sometimes, would you be willing to do this course with me?

My father and mother say they had a rough time as young married, sure doesn't seem that way to me:) they credit a large part of that to working together on the marriage.

Also, can you set a certain time to be together each day?
Also a date night, once a week?
And give her permission to come into your bat cave after hours, she may think that you don't want company there, but give her a time that you appreciate her company (maybe after dinner?) And possibly get her to look over what you've done today, explain it to her. You will get additional insights into you work, and she might even get an interest in your work:)

Guys, just a quick update.

Things went bad after that, but after it looked like it had hit the bottom, things started to get better quick! I am not sure if a lot of things has changed dramatically, but I belive it was just the point of view of my wife towards me that changed. She is the one working her a$$ off now, and seeing her own results, and now she understands my side as well about wanting more than what we have now.

We now have some goals together, and we are getting along well on these plans.

Appreciated all these messages, they helped me, best wishes for you guys!
 

Post New Topic

Please SEARCH before posting.
Please select the BEST category.

Post new topic

Guest post submissions offered HERE.

New Topics

Fastlane Insiders

View the forum AD FREE.
Private, unindexed content
Detailed process/execution threads
Ideas needing execution, more!

Join Fastlane Insiders.

Top