Freshly Single and it Feels like Shit

[Lauryn]

It's not boring once you get on POF or some other free dating site for fun... and entertainment. *looks around*
Not that I know.

 

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[Johnathan Ta]

I had some fun last night
And thailand sounds fun hehe

 

[Phillipbro]

Stay up my fellow Toronto brah,
If anything this is great motivation to get to the drawing board and scale up. Success is the best revenge.

We're all gonna make it, mirin gains btw

 

[FastLearner]

Dude, save up for a trip to Cabo with your guys for New Years. Plan a trip and have something to look forward to. The future is WAY more exciting than right now, trust me!

 

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[therebel]

can you dance?

go out to the clubs and nightlife spots in your area and dance with a bunch of girls

find the one you like the most and tell her you like her...

it's gonna be hard at first, but you'll move on after a little while..

 

[theag]

So I'm joining the single club. Exact same situation for me. Relationship lasted nearly 4,5 years but this has been coming for a long time. We both agreed to break up for the same reasons, but it still sucks big time.

This was my first relationship. Started dating in high school, then moved mountains to get into the same university and moved 700km to it. We did everything together for the last 3 years and lived together for between 1,5 and 2 years, but surely that was what lead to our problems. Didn't have any friends for the last 2 years due to jealousy and always being depressed because of relationship issue. It was a rollercoaster with big ups and bigger lows.

Now I'm back home, living at my moms house for some time and officially at the lowest point of my life. Only have 2 friends left here, which are shaky because we didnt have contact for the 3 years I was away, also because of issues in the relationship.

Have to build my life up from scratch again, but right now I'm just sad. The comments from older members here really help.

 

[goodfella]

Chase pussy and you'll always lose money. Chase money and you'll never lose pussy.

lol good one

 

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[MMatt]

So I'm joining the single club. Exact same situation for me. Relationship lasted nearly 4,5 years but this has been coming for a long time. We both agreed to break up for the same reasons, but it still sucks big time.

This was my first relationship. Started dating in high school, then moved mountains to get into the same university and moved 700km to it. We did everything together for the last 3 years and lived together for between 1,5 and 2 years, but surely that was what lead to our problems. Didn't have any friends for the last 2 years due to jealousy and always being depressed because of relationship issue. It was a rollercoaster with big ups and bigger lows.

Now I'm back home, living at my moms house for some time and officially at the lowest point of my life. Only have 2 friends left here, which are shaky because we didnt have contact for the 3 years I was away, also because of issues in the relationship.

Have to build my life up from scratch again, but right now I'm just sad. The comments from older members here really help.

It's been I think two weeks being single for me? Lost track. I occasionally remember feelings I had but I know being out of this particular relationship is actually better for me. I've done things I like whenever i want with whoever I want without having to feel guilty or worried, met a couple new girls, hung out with friends alot for support and I can say I'm pretty content right now. Keep your head up and put yourself out there, things will improve. I think this time around though I am going to analyze my relationships a bit more prior to entering them haha.

 

[D11FYY]

You will never meet the right one if your with the wrong one

Just be patient your 21 fulfill some goals like maybe a certain trip , get a car , put on 20lb of muscle just have fun until your 25 26 then aim to settle down once youv done some things off your single bucket list

Enjoy life my friend breakups can be hard.. If you let them otherwise keep yourself busy

 

[Guest3722A]

It's not boring once you get on POF or some other free dating site for fun... and entertainment. *looks around*
Not that I know.

Hey all - this idea quoted here may seem odd to some but from my personal experience it can help quite a bit with regaining lost confidence and ultimately regaining yourself. There is a system here though that I have used and I can tell you that even if I leave home and traveling, I always was able to find women I was attracted to to show me around.

Here's the basics of how the system works:

1. Sign up on a dating site
2. Do a search for qualities you're attracted to
3. Make an extensive list of numerous potentials - make sure your list only consists of those that make you go hmmmm....
4. Create a generic first message that looks personalized and shows your genuine interest
5. Send your message off to everyone on your list
6. Save your message and continue doing this every few days

Soon replies will start coming in and you'll be able to chat. Of those you chat with, some will begin to float to the top and advance to texting and phone and many eventually will go away.

Once you feel comfortable with some move for a meetup.

Wash, rinse, repeat.

From my experience for when I've done this I built my dating life up to a different woman every night, and sometimes two or three in a day.

Once the negativity and loneliness and whatever else was bringing you down from a former relationship is out of your system and your confidence is waaayyyyy up there, the next time you lose someone that wasn't meant to be will become nothing more than a blow in the wind

 

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[Daniel A]

I just recently turned 20 y/o but I had this kind of event happen to me a few years ago so maybe I can help.

The relationship lasted a year and several months though during high school.

Had my parent's house foreclose, moved to a different city and high school (during HS that sucks), and the break up at the same time. Soon after all this was my parent's divorce too.

Consciously none of that bothers me at all now and the way I reacted to the break up...it's embarrassing/weird thinking about it. 1 - Not my kind of girl at all anymore. 2 - I was a kid imo lol. Like MJ said you won't recognize yourself. That was mid-teenager me to 20 y/o me...WAY different.

You're most likely going to need time to get over it to the point you won't think about it everyday. You had several years with her though so that could take a few months, but I'm pretty certain there will be a time when she's out of mind almost completely and life/you move on.

Going to the gym is great man, I did that too and I know it really helped with everything...not just the break up.

You sound like you're pretty well composed already (judging via text isn't always accurate though), but simply put like Nosferatu said "You'll get over it."

 

[royalasg]

Don't be so tensed, just think that she was not for you. Concentrate on your work and Look for someone else.

 

[recon187]

The happy bachelors forum might be a place you could find some answers. It took years for me to figure it out. Its more like the bar of 20 buddies MJ is referring too. Good luck.

 

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[Nadia]

It is just right. God ALWAYS does things in the best intention for us, whether we believe so or not. This woman wasn't meant to be your wife because somewhere along the line, you weren't right for each other. You are not heart broken. Your heart has been broken open, so light and love can truly shine into it and your future mrs enjoys you as a man who has had his metal tested as opposed to a manboy who still emotionally lives in diapers. When me and my ex fiance split up, for 2 years after still--I was in so much pain because i'd have never imagined to have married another man except him. Long story short, he wasn't Mr Right and that's why he didn't stay. I won't say stay strong or be brave, just be kind to yourself and take each day as it comes

 

[Blueskies4me]

I definitely identify with being single again. I was with the same guy for 17 years. He had 3 affairs, the first during the first year we were married. I didn't do anything about it because I was young naive and believed in keeping promises "for better or worse". It sucked. I even counseled the girl he slept with because she was from our church and young and felt horrible about herself. We didn't fight but he needed the "butterflies"... and I think some people just aren't capable of long term relationships. So weird to hear him say I was the perfect woman and then find out about others. But it's in the past, and I'm glad I moved on...

I also know, (and I think you have to come to this on your own)...but I know that I'm 100% ok on my own. I have friends and colleagues that I value (so do you...right here). So if that person never comes along, so be it. I have a feeling for me it will probably happen when I least expect it i.e. no make up, sweats, returning a movie at redbox at midnight...lol

My advice... she didn't deserve you. Imagine the someone that does. Envision it. Even if she doesn't materialize. It will help you move past the past.