What is STOPPING me from achieving my dream ?

[goldminer]

recently i read a book named WAR OF ART - here is something i learned
( i just copy pasted from the book so i guess you'll be fine with it )


Resistance cannot be seen, touched, heard, or smelled. But it can be felt. We experience it as an energy field radiating from a work-in-potential. It’s a repelling force. It’s negative. Its aim is to shove us away, distract us, prevent us from doing our work.

Resistance seems to come from outside ourselves. We locate it in spouses, jobs, bosses, kids. “Peripheral opponents,” as Pat Riley used to say when he coached the Los Angeles Lakers.

Resistance is not a peripheral opponent. Resistance arises from within. It is self-generated and self-perpetuated. Resistance is the enemy within.

Resistance will tell you anything to keep you from doing your work. It will perjure, fabricate, falsify; seduce, bully, cajole. Resistance is protean. It will assume any form, if that’s what it takes to deceive you. It will reason with you like a lawyer or jam a nine-millimeter in your face like a stickup man. Resistance has no conscience. It will pledge anything to get a deal, then double-cross you as soon as your back is turned. If you take Resistance at its word, you deserve everything you get. Resistance is always lying and always full of shit.

Resistance is like the Alien or the Terminator or the shark in Jaws. It cannot be reasoned with. It understands nothing but power. It is an engine of destruction, programmed from the factory with one object only: to prevent us from doing our work. Resistance is implacable, intractable, indefatigable. Reduce it to a single cell and that cell will continue to attack.

This is Resistance’s nature. It’s all it knows.

Resistance’s goal is not to wound or disable. Resistance aims to kill. Its target is the epicenter of our being: our genius, our soul, the unique and priceless gift we were put on earth to give and that no one else has but us. Resistance means business. When we fight it, we are in a war to the death.

Resistance has no strength of its own. Every ounce of juice it possesses comes from us. We feed it with power by our fear of it. Master that fear and we conquer Resistance.

Resistance obstructs movement only from a lower sphere to a higher. It kicks in when we seek to pursue a calling in the arts, launch an innovative enterprise, or evolve to a higher station morally, ethically, or spiritually.

So if you’re in Calcutta working with the Mother Teresa Foundation and you’re thinking of bolting to launch a career in telemarketing. . . relax. Resistance will give you a free pass.

Odysseus almost got home years before his actual homecoming. Ithaca was in sight, close enough that the sailors could see the smoke of their families’ fires on shore. Odysseus was so certain he was safe, he actually lay down for a snooze. It was then that his men, believing there was gold in an ox-hide sack among their commander’s possessions, snatched this prize and cut it open. The bag contained the adverse Winds, which King Aeolus had bottled up for Odysseus when the wanderer had touched earlier at his blessed isle. The winds burst forth now in one mad blow, driving Odysseus’ ships back across every league of ocean they had with such difficulty traversed, making him endure further trials and sufferings before, at last and alone, he reached home for good.

The danger is greatest when the finish line is in sight. At this point, Resistance knows we’re about to beat it. It hits the panic button. It marshals one last assault and slams us with everything it’s got.

The professional must be alert for this counterattack. Be wary at the end. Don’t open that bag of wind.

Resistance by definition is self-sabotage. But there’s a parallel peril that must also be guarded against: sabotage by others.

When a writer begins to overcome her Resistance—in other words, when she actually starts to write—she may find that those close to her begin acting strange. They may become moody or sullen, they may get sick; they may accuse the awakening writer of “changing,” of “not being the person she was.” The closer these people are to the awakening writer, the more bizarrely they will act and the more emotion they will put behind their actions.

They are trying to sabotage her.

The reason is that they are struggling, consciously or unconsciously, against their own Resistance. The awakening writer’s success becomes a reproach to them. If she can beat these demons, why can’t they?

Often couples or close friends, even entire families, will enter into tacit compacts whereby each individual pledges (unconsciously) to remain mired in the same slough in which she and all her cronies have become so comfortable. The highest treason a crab can commit is to make a leap for the rim of the bucket.

The awakening artist must be ruthless, not only with herself but with others. Once you make your break, you can’t turn around for your buddy who catches his trouser leg on the barbed wire. The best thing you can do for that friend (and he’d tell you this himself, if he really is your friend) is to get over the wall and keep motating.

The best and only thing that one artist can do for another is to serve as an example and an inspiration.

Now, let’s consider the next aspect of Resistance: symptoms.

Procrastination is the most common manifestation of Resistance because it’s the easiest to rationalize. We don’t tell ourselves, “I’m never going to write my symphony.” Instead we say, “I am going to write my symphony; I’m just going to start tomorrow.”

The most pernicious aspect of procrastination is that it can become a habit. We don’t just put off our lives today; we put them off till our deathbed.

Never forget: This very moment, we can change our lives. There never was a moment, and never will be, when we are without the power to alter our destiny. This second, we can turn the tables on Resistance.

This second, we can sit down and do our work.
Creating soap opera in our lives is a symptom of Resistance. Why put in years of work designing a new software interface when you can get just as much attention by bringing home a boyfriend with a prison record?

Sometimes entire families participate unconsciously in a culture of self-dramatization. The kids fuel the tanks, the grown-ups arm the phasers, the whole starship lurches from one spine-tingling episode to another. And the crew knows how to keep it going. If the level of drama drops below a certain threshold, someone jumps in to amp it up. Dad gets drunk, Mom gets sick, Janie shows up for church with an Oakland Raiders tattoo. It’s more fun than a movie. And it works: Nobody gets a damn thing done.

Sometimes I think of Resistance as a sort of evil twin to Santa Claus, who makes his rounds house-to-house, making sure that everything’s taken care of. When he comes to a house that’s hooked on self-dramatization, his ruddy cheeks glow and he giddy-ups away behind his eight tiny reindeer. He knows there’ll be no work done in that house.

Do you regularly ingest any substance, controlled or otherwise, whose aim is the alleviation of depression, anxiety, etc.? I offer the following experience:

I once worked as a writer for a big New York ad agency. Our boss used to tell us: Invent a disease. Come up with the disease, he said, and we can sell the cure.

Attention Deficit Disorder, Seasonal Affect Disorder, Social Anxiety Disorder. These aren’t diseases, they’re marketing ploys. Doctors didn’t discover them, copywriters did. Marketing departments did. Drug companies did.

Depression and anxiety may be real. But they can also be Resistance.

When we drug ourselves to blot out our soul’s call, we are being good Americans and exemplary consumers. We’re doing exactly what TV commercials and pop materialist culture have been brainwashing us to do from birth. Instead of applying self-knowledge, self-discipline, delayed gratification and hard work, we simply consume a product.

Many pedestrians have been maimed or killed at the intersection of Resistance and Commerce.

Doctors estimate that seventy to eighty percent of their business is non-health-related. People aren’t sick, they’re self-dramatizing. Sometimes the hardest part of a medical job is keeping a straight face. As Jerry Seinfeld observed of his twenty years of dating: “That’s a lot of acting fascinated.”

The acquisition of a condition lends significance to one’s existence. An illness, a cross to bear. Some people go from condition to condition; they cure one, and another pops up to take its place. The condition becomes a work of art in itself, a shadow version of the real creative act the victim is avoiding by expending so much care cultivating his condition.

A victim act is a form of passive aggression. It seeks to achieve gratification not by honest work or a contribution made out of one’s experience or insight or love, but by the manipulation of others through silent (and not-so-silent) threat. The victim compels others to come to his rescue or to behave as he wishes by holding them hostage to the prospect of his own further illness/meltdown/mental dissolution, or simply by threatening to make their lives so miserable that they do what he wants.

Casting yourself as a victim is the antithesis of doing your work. Don’t do it. If you’re doing it, stop.

If you find yourself criticizing other people, you’re probably doing it out of Resistance. When we see others beginning to live their authentic selves, it drives us crazy if we have not lived out our own.

Individuals who are realized in their own lives almost never criticize others. If they speak at all, it is to offer encouragement. Watch yourself. Of all the manifestations of Resistance, most only harm ourselves. Criticism and cruelty harm others as well.

Self-doubt can be an ally. This is because it serves as an indicator of aspiration. It reflects love, love of something we dream of doing, and desire, desire to do it. If you find yourself asking yourself (and your friends), “Am I really a writer? Am I really an artist?” chances are you are.

The counterfeit innovator is wildly self-confident. The real one is scared to death.

Are you paralyzed with fear? That’s a good sign.

Fear is good. Like self-doubt, fear is an indicator. Fear tells us what we have to do.

Remember our rule of thumb: The more scared we are of a work or calling, the more sure we can be that we have to do it.

Resistance is experienced as fear; the degree of fear equates to the strength of Resistance. Therefore the more fear we feel about a specific enterprise, the more certain we can be that that enterprise is important to us and to the growth of our soul. That’s why we feel so much Resistance. If it meant nothing to us, there’d be no Resistance.

Have you ever watched Inside the Actors Studio? The host, James Lipton, invariably asks his guests, “What factors make you decide to take a particular role?” The actor always answers: “Because I’m afraid of it.”

The professional tackles the project that will make him stretch. He takes on the assignment that will bear him into uncharted waters, compel him to explore unconscious parts of himself.

Is he scared? Hell, yes. He’s petrified.


(Conversely, the professional turns down roles that he’s done before. He’s not afraid of them anymore. Why waste his time?)

So if you’re paralyzed with fear, it’s a good sign. It shows you what you have to do.

The more Resistance you experience, the more important your unmanifested art/project/enterprise is to you—and the more gratification you will feel when you finally do it.

Grandiose fantasies are a symptom of Resistance. They’re the sign of an amateur. The professional has learned that success, like happiness, comes as a by-product of work.

The professional concentrates on the work and allows rewards to come or not come, whatever they like.

Resistance is fear. But Resistance is too cunning to show itself naked in this form. Why? Because if Resistance lets us see clearly that our own fear is preventing us from doing our work, we may feel shame at this. And shame may drive us to act in the face of fear.

Resistance doesn’t want us to do this. So it brings in Rationalization. Rationalization is Resistance’s spin doctor. It’s Resistance’s way of hiding the Big Stick behind its back. Instead of showing us our fear (which might shame us and impel us to do our work), Resistance presents us with a series of plausible, rational justifications for why we shouldn’t do our work.

What’s particularly insidious about the rationalizations that Resistance presents to us is that a lot of them are true. They’re legitimate. Our wife may really be in her eighth month of pregnancy; she may in truth need us at home. Our department may really be instituting a changeover that will eat up hours of our time. Indeed it may make sense to put off finishing our dissertation, at least till after the baby’s born.

What Resistance leaves out, of course, is that all this means diddly. Tolstoy had thirteen kids and wrote War and Peace. Lance Armstrong had cancer and won the Tour de France three years and counting.

 

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[heavy_industry]

Vu eptxis vji raitvoup op vji vovmi:

Zua.

Zua esi vji upmz qistup op vjot xusmf xju dep epf ot edvowimz qsiwipvoph zuas fsient gsun cidunoph siemovz.

---

O fup'v cimoiwi op "sitotvepdi". Epf O fup'v cimoiwi op "timg-tecuvehi".

Xi esi emm mowoph vji mogi vjev xi vjopl xi fitiswi.

Vszoph vu gusdi zuastimg vu edv uavtofi zuas dassipv ofipvovz ot piwis huoph vu xusl muph-visn. Jux nepz timg-jimq ipvjatoetvt esi catvoph vjios ett op vji hzn op Kepaesz, upmz vu howi aq e gix tjusv xiilt mevis?

Vji upmz tatveopecmi tumavoup ot vu djephi zuas ofipvovz.

O en ep evjmivi, e catopittnep, epf e tiilis ug lpuxmifhi.

• O deppuv tvuq mogvoph xiohjvt (O'wi vsoif).
• O deppuv tvuq xusloph.
• O deppuv tvuq miespoph.
• O deppuv tvuq jimqoph qiuqmi.

Vjot ot xju O'wi fidofif vu ci. Vjot ot xjev O en fuoph.

 

[August St]

sidipvmz o sief e cuul penif XES UG ESV - jisi ot tunivjoph o miespif
( o katv duqz qetvif gsun vji cuul tu o haitt zua'mm ci gopi xovj ov )


Sitotvepdi deppuv ci tiip, vuadjif, jiesf, us tnimmif. Cav ov dep ci gimv. Xi iyqisoipdi ov et ep ipishz goimf sefoevoph gsun e xusl-op-quvipvoem. Ov’t e siqimmoph gusdi. Ov’t pihevowi. Ovt eon ot vu tjuwi at exez, fotvsedv at, qsiwipv at gsun fuoph uas xusl.

Sitotvepdi tiint vu duni gsun uavtofi uastimwit. Xi mudevi ov op tquatit, kuct, cuttit, loft. “Qisoqjisem uqqupipvt,” et Qev Somiz atif vu tez xjip ji duedjif vji Mut Ephimit Melist.

Sitotvepdi ot puv e qisoqjisem uqqupipv. Sitotvepdi esotit gsun xovjop. Ov ot timg-hipisevif epf timg-qisqivaevif. Sitotvepdi ot vji ipinz xovjop.

Sitotvepdi xomm vimm zua epzvjoph vu liiq zua gsun fuoph zuas xusl. Ov xomm qiskasi, gecsodevi, gemtogz; tifadi, cammz, dekumi. Sitotvepdi ot qsuviep. Ov xomm ettani epz gusn, og vjev’t xjev ov velit vu fidiowi zua. Ov xomm sietup xovj zua moli e mexzis us ken e popi-nommonivis op zuas gedi moli e tvodlaq nep. Sitotvepdi jet pu duptdoipdi. Ov xomm qmifhi epzvjoph vu hiv e fiem, vjip fuacmi-dsutt zua et tuup et zuas cedl ot vaspif. Og zua veli Sitotvepdi ev ovt xusf, zua fitiswi iwiszvjoph zua hiv. Sitotvepdi ot emxezt mzoph epf emxezt gamm ug tjov.

Sitotvepdi ot moli vji Emoip us vji Visnopevus us vji tjesl op Kext. Ov deppuv ci sietupif xovj. Ov apfistvepft puvjoph cav quxis. Ov ot ep iphopi ug fitvsadvoup, qsuhsennif gsun vji gedvusz xovj upi uckidv upmz: vu qsiwipv at gsun fuoph uas xusl. Sitotvepdi ot onqmedecmi, opvsedvecmi, opfigevohecmi. Sifadi ov vu e tophmi dimm epf vjev dimm xomm dupvopai vu evvedl.

Vjot ot Sitotvepdi’t pevasi. Ov’t emm ov lpuxt.

Sitotvepdi’t huem ot puv vu xuapf us fotecmi. Sitotvepdi eont vu lomm. Ovt veshiv ot vji iqodipvis ug uas cioph: uas hipoat, uas tuam, vji aporai epf qsodimitt hogv xi xisi qav up iesvj vu howi epf vjev pu upi imti jet cav at. Sitotvepdi niept catopitt. Xjip xi gohjv ov, xi esi op e xes vu vji fievj.

Sitotvepdi jet pu tvsiphvj ug ovt uxp. Iwisz uapdi ug kaodi ov quttittit dunit gsun at. Xi giif ov xovj quxis cz uas gies ug ov. Netvis vjev gies epf xi duprais Sitotvepdi.

Sitotvepdi uctvsadvt nuwinipv upmz gsun e muxis tqjisi vu e johjis. Ov lodlt op xjip xi tiil vu qastai e demmoph op vji esvt, meapdj ep oppuwevowi ipvisqsoti, us iwumwi vu e johjis tvevoup nusemmz, ivjodemmz, us tqosovaemmz.

Tu og zua’si op Demdavve xusloph xovj vji Nuvjis Visite Guapfevoup epf zua’si vjoploph ug cumvoph vu meapdj e desiis op vimineslivoph. . . simey. Sitotvepdi xomm howi zua e gsii qett.

Ufzttiat emnutv huv juni ziest cigusi jot edvaem junidunoph. Ovjede xet op tohjv, dmuti ipuahj vjev vji teomust duamf tii vji tnuli ug vjios genomoit’ gosit up tjusi. Ufzttiat xet tu disveop ji xet tegi, ji edvaemmz mez fuxp gus e tpuubi. Ov xet vjip vjev jot nip, cimoiwoph vjisi xet humf op ep uy-jofi tedl enuph vjios dunnepfis’t quttittoupt, tpevdjif vjot qsobi epf dav ov uqip. Vji ceh dupveopif vji efwisti Xopft, xjodj Loph Eiumat jef cuvvmif aq gus Ufzttiat xjip vji xepfisis jef vuadjif iesmois ev jot cmittif otmi. Vji xopft castv gusvj pux op upi nef cmux, fsowoph Ufzttiat’ tjoqt cedl edsutt iwisz miehai ug udiep vjiz jef xovj tadj foggodamvz vsewistif, neloph jon ipfasi gasvjis vsoemt epf taggisopht cigusi, ev metv epf emupi, ji siedjif juni gus huuf.

Vji fephis ot hsievitv xjip vji gopotj mopi ot op tohjv. Ev vjot quopv, Sitotvepdi lpuxt xi’si ecuav vu ciev ov. Ov jovt vji qepod cavvup. Ov nestjemt upi metv etteamv epf tment at xovj iwiszvjoph ov’t huv.

Vji qsugittoupem natv ci emisv gus vjot duapvisevvedl. Ci xesz ev vji ipf. Fup’v uqip vjev ceh ug xopf.

Sitotvepdi cz figopovoup ot timg-tecuvehi. Cav vjisi’t e qesemmim qisom vjev natv emtu ci haesfif eheoptv: tecuvehi cz uvjist.

Xjip e xsovis cihopt vu uwisduni jis Sitotvepdi—op uvjis xusft, xjip tji edvaemmz tvesvt vu xsovi—tji nez gopf vjev vjuti dmuti vu jis cihop edvoph tvsephi. Vjiz nez ciduni nuufz us tammip, vjiz nez hiv todl; vjiz nez eddati vji exelipoph xsovis ug “djephoph,” ug “puv cioph vji qistup tji xet.” Vji dmutis vjiti qiuqmi esi vu vji exelipoph xsovis, vji nusi cobessimz vjiz xomm edv epf vji nusi inuvoup vjiz xomm qav cijopf vjios edvoupt.

Vjiz esi vszoph vu tecuvehi jis.

Vji sietup ot vjev vjiz esi tvsahhmoph, duptdouatmz us apduptdouatmz, eheoptv vjios uxp Sitotvepdi. Vji exelipoph xsovis’t tadditt cidunit e siqsuedj vu vjin. Og tji dep ciev vjiti finupt, xjz dep’v vjiz?

Ugvip duaqmit us dmuti gsoipft, iwip ipvosi genomoit, xomm ipvis opvu vedov dunqedvt xjisicz iedj opfowofaem qmifhit (apduptdouatmz) vu sineop nosif op vji teni tmuahj op xjodj tji epf emm jis dsupoit jewi ciduni tu dungusvecmi. Vji johjitv vsietup e dsec dep dunnov ot vu neli e mieq gus vji son ug vji cadliv.

Vji exelipoph esvotv natv ci savjmitt, puv upmz xovj jistimg cav xovj uvjist. Updi zua neli zuas csiel, zua dep’v vasp esuapf gus zuas caffz xju devdjit jot vsuatis mih up vji cescif xosi. Vji citv vjoph zua dep fu gus vjev gsoipf (epf ji’f vimm zua vjot jontimg, og ji siemmz ot zuas gsoipf) ot vu hiv uwis vji xemm epf liiq nuvevoph.

Vji citv epf upmz vjoph vjev upi esvotv dep fu gus epuvjis ot vu tiswi et ep iyenqmi epf ep optqosevoup.

Pux, miv’t duptofis vji piyv etqidv ug Sitotvepdi: tznqvunt.

Qsudsetvopevoup ot vji nutv dunnup nepogitvevoup ug Sitotvepdi cideati ov’t vji ietoitv vu sevoupemobi. Xi fup’v vimm uastimwit, “O’n piwis huoph vu xsovi nz tznqjupz.” Optvief xi tez, “O en huoph vu xsovi nz tznqjupz; O’n katv huoph vu tvesv vunussux.”

Vji nutv qispodouat etqidv ug qsudsetvopevoup ot vjev ov dep ciduni e jecov. Xi fup’v katv qav ugg uas mowit vufez; xi qav vjin ugg vomm uas fievjcif.

Piwis gushiv: Vjot wisz nunipv, xi dep djephi uas mowit. Vjisi piwis xet e nunipv, epf piwis xomm ci, xjip xi esi xovjuav vji quxis vu emvis uas fitvopz. Vjot tidupf, xi dep vasp vji vecmit up Sitotvepdi.

Vjot tidupf, xi dep tov fuxp epf fu uas xusl.
Dsievoph tueq uqise op uas mowit ot e tznqvun ug Sitotvepdi. Xjz qav op ziest ug xusl fitohpoph e pix tugvxesi opvisgedi xjip zua dep hiv katv et nadj evvipvoup cz csophoph juni e cuzgsoipf xovj e qsotup sidusf?

Tunivonit ipvosi genomoit qesvodoqevi apduptdouatmz op e damvasi ug timg-fsenevobevoup. Vji loft gaim vji veplt, vji hsuxp-aqt esn vji qjetist, vji xjumi tvestjoq masdjit gsun upi tqopi-vophmoph iqotufi vu epuvjis. Epf vji dsix lpuxt jux vu liiq ov huoph. Og vji miwim ug fsene fsuqt cimux e disveop vjsitjumf, tuniupi kanqt op vu enq ov aq. Fef hivt fsapl, Nun hivt todl, Kepoi tjuxt aq gus djasdj xovj ep Uelmepf Seofist vevvuu. Ov’t nusi gap vjep e nuwoi. Epf ov xuslt: Pucufz hivt e fenp vjoph fupi.

Tunivonit O vjopl ug Sitotvepdi et e tusv ug iwom vxop vu Tepve Dmeat, xju nelit jot suapft juati-vu-juati, neloph tasi vjev iwiszvjoph’t velip desi ug. Xjip ji dunit vu e juati vjev’t juulif up timg-fsenevobevoup, jot saffz djiilt hmux epf ji hoffz-aqt exez cijopf jot iohjv vopz siopfiis. Ji lpuxt vjisi’mm ci pu xusl fupi op vjev juati.

Fu zua sihamesmz ophitv epz tactvepdi, dupvsummif us uvjisxoti, xjuti eon ot vji emmiwoevoup ug fiqsittoup, epyoivz, ivd.? O uggis vji gummuxoph iyqisoipdi:

O updi xuslif et e xsovis gus e coh Pix Zusl ef ehipdz. Uas cutt atif vu vimm at: Opwipv e fotieti. Duni aq xovj vji fotieti, ji teof, epf xi dep timm vji dasi.

Evvipvoup Figodov Fotusfis, Tietupem Eggidv Fotusfis, Tudoem Epyoivz Fotusfis. Vjiti esip’v fotietit, vjiz’si neslivoph qmuzt. Fudvust fofp’v fotduwis vjin, duqzxsovist fof. Neslivoph fiqesvnipvt fof. Fsah dunqepoit fof.

Fiqsittoup epf epyoivz nez ci siem. Cav vjiz dep emtu ci Sitotvepdi.

Xjip xi fsah uastimwit vu cmuv uav uas tuam’t demm, xi esi cioph huuf Enisodept epf iyinqmesz duptanist. Xi’si fuoph iyedvmz xjev VW dunnisdoemt epf quq nevisoemotv damvasi jewi ciip cseopxetjoph at vu fu gsun cosvj. Optvief ug eqqmzoph timg-lpuxmifhi, timg-fotdoqmopi, fimezif hsevogodevoup epf jesf xusl, xi tonqmz duptani e qsufadv.

Nepz qifitvsoept jewi ciip neonif us lommif ev vji opvistidvoup ug Sitotvepdi epf Dunnisdi.

Fudvust itvonevi vjev tiwipvz vu iohjvz qisdipv ug vjios catopitt ot pup-jiemvj-simevif. Qiuqmi esip’v todl, vjiz’si timg-fsenevoboph. Tunivonit vji jesfitv qesv ug e nifodem kuc ot liiqoph e tvseohjv gedi. Et Kissz Tiopgimf uctiswif ug jot vxipvz ziest ug fevoph: “Vjev’t e muv ug edvoph getdopevif.”

Vji edraotovoup ug e dupfovoup mipft tohpogodepdi vu upi’t iyotvipdi. Ep ommpitt, e dsutt vu cies. Tuni qiuqmi hu gsun dupfovoup vu dupfovoup; vjiz dasi upi, epf epuvjis quqt aq vu veli ovt qmedi. Vji dupfovoup cidunit e xusl ug esv op ovtimg, e tjefux wistoup ug vji siem dsievowi edv vji wodvon ot ewuofoph cz iyqipfoph tu nadj desi damvowevoph jot dupfovoup.

E wodvon edv ot e gusn ug qettowi ehhsittoup. Ov tiilt vu edjoiwi hsevogodevoup puv cz jupitv xusl us e dupvsocavoup nefi uav ug upi’t iyqisoipdi us optohjv us muwi, cav cz vji nepoqamevoup ug uvjist vjsuahj tomipv (epf puv-tu-tomipv) vjsiev. Vji wodvon dunqimt uvjist vu duni vu jot sitdai us vu cijewi et ji xotjit cz jumfoph vjin jutvehi vu vji qsutqidv ug jot uxp gasvjis ommpitt/nimvfuxp/nipvem fottumavoup, us tonqmz cz vjsievipoph vu neli vjios mowit tu notisecmi vjev vjiz fu xjev ji xepvt.

Detvoph zuastimg et e wodvon ot vji epvovjitot ug fuoph zuas xusl. Fup’v fu ov. Og zua’si fuoph ov, tvuq.

Og zua gopf zuastimg dsovodoboph uvjis qiuqmi, zua’si qsucecmz fuoph ov uav ug Sitotvepdi. Xjip xi tii uvjist cihoppoph vu mowi vjios eavjipvod timwit, ov fsowit at dsebz og xi jewi puv mowif uav uas uxp.

Opfowofaemt xju esi siemobif op vjios uxp mowit emnutv piwis dsovodobi uvjist. Og vjiz tqiel ev emm, ov ot vu uggis ipduasehinipv. Xevdj zuastimg. Ug emm vji nepogitvevoupt ug Sitotvepdi, nutv upmz jesn uastimwit. Dsovodotn epf dsaimvz jesn uvjist et ximm.

Timg-fuacv dep ci ep emmz. Vjot ot cideati ov tiswit et ep opfodevus ug etqosevoup. Ov sigmidvt muwi, muwi ug tunivjoph xi fsien ug fuoph, epf fitosi, fitosi vu fu ov. Og zua gopf zuastimg etloph zuastimg (epf zuas gsoipft), “En O siemmz e xsovis? En O siemmz ep esvotv?” djepdit esi zua esi.

Vji duapvisgiov oppuwevus ot xomfmz timg-dupgofipv. Vji siem upi ot tdesif vu fievj.

Esi zua qesemzbif xovj gies? Vjev’t e huuf tohp.

Gies ot huuf. Moli timg-fuacv, gies ot ep opfodevus. Gies vimmt at xjev xi jewi vu fu.

Sinincis uas sami ug vjanc: Vji nusi tdesif xi esi ug e xusl us demmoph, vji nusi tasi xi dep ci vjev xi jewi vu fu ov.

Sitotvepdi ot iyqisoipdif et gies; vji fihsii ug gies iraevit vu vji tvsiphvj ug Sitotvepdi. Vjisigusi vji nusi gies xi giim ecuav e tqidogod ipvisqsoti, vji nusi disveop xi dep ci vjev vjev ipvisqsoti ot onqusvepv vu at epf vu vji hsuxvj ug uas tuam. Vjev’t xjz xi giim tu nadj Sitotvepdi. Og ov niepv puvjoph vu at, vjisi’f ci pu Sitotvepdi.

Jewi zua iwis xevdjif Optofi vji Edvust Tvafou? Vji jutv, Kenit Moqvup, opwesoecmz etlt jot haitvt, “Xjev gedvust neli zua fidofi vu veli e qesvodames sumi?” Vji edvus emxezt eptxist: “Cideati O’n egseof ug ov.”

Vji qsugittoupem vedlmit vji qsukidv vjev xomm neli jon tvsivdj. Ji velit up vji ettohpnipv vjev xomm cies jon opvu apdjesvif xevist, dunqim jon vu iyqmusi apduptdouat qesvt ug jontimg.

Ot ji tdesif? Jimm, zit. Ji’t qivsogoif.


(Dupwistimz, vji qsugittoupem vaspt fuxp sumit vjev ji’t fupi cigusi. Ji’t puv egseof ug vjin epznusi. Xjz xetvi jot voni?)

Tu og zua’si qesemzbif xovj gies, ov’t e huuf tohp. Ov tjuxt zua xjev zua jewi vu fu.

Vji nusi Sitotvepdi zua iyqisoipdi, vji nusi onqusvepv zuas apnepogitvif esv/qsukidv/ipvisqsoti ot vu zua—epf vji nusi hsevogodevoup zua xomm giim xjip zua gopemmz fu ov.

Hsepfouti gepvetoit esi e tznqvun ug Sitotvepdi. Vjiz’si vji tohp ug ep enevias. Vji qsugittoupem jet miespif vjev tadditt, moli jeqqopitt, dunit et e cz-qsufadv ug xusl.

Vji qsugittoupem dupdipvsevit up vji xusl epf emmuxt sixesft vu duni us puv duni, xjeviwis vjiz moli.

Sitotvepdi ot gies. Cav Sitotvepdi ot vuu dappoph vu tjux ovtimg pelif op vjot gusn. Xjz? Cideati og Sitotvepdi mivt at tii dmiesmz vjev uas uxp gies ot qsiwipvoph at gsun fuoph uas xusl, xi nez giim tjeni ev vjot. Epf tjeni nez fsowi at vu edv op vji gedi ug gies.

Sitotvepdi fuitp’v xepv at vu fu vjot. Tu ov csopht op Sevoupemobevoup. Sevoupemobevoup ot Sitotvepdi’t tqop fudvus. Ov’t Sitotvepdi’t xez ug jofoph vji Coh Tvodl cijopf ovt cedl. Optvief ug tjuxoph at uas gies (xjodj nohjv tjeni at epf onqim at vu fu uas xusl), Sitotvepdi qsitipvt at xovj e tisoit ug qmeatocmi, sevoupem katvogodevoupt gus xjz xi tjuamfp’v fu uas xusl.

Xjev’t qesvodamesmz optofouat ecuav vji sevoupemobevoupt vjev Sitotvepdi qsitipvt vu at ot vjev e muv ug vjin esi vsai. Vjiz’si mihovonevi. Uas xogi nez siemmz ci op jis iohjvj nupvj ug qsihpepdz; tji nez op vsavj piif at ev juni. Uas fiqesvnipv nez siemmz ci optvovavoph e djephiuwis vjev xomm iev aq juast ug uas voni. Opfiif ov nez neli tipti vu qav ugg gopotjoph uas fottisvevoup, ev mietv vomm egvis vji cecz’t cusp.

Xjev Sitotvepdi miewit uav, ug duasti, ot vjev emm vjot niept foffmz. Vumtvuz jef vjosviip loft epf xsuvi Xes epf Qiedi. Mepdi Esntvsuph jef depdis epf xup vji Vuas fi Gsepdi vjsii ziest epf duapvoph.

Egvis siefoph vjot qettehi, O fidofif vu sief vjot cuul. O jef jiesf ecuav vji cuul tiwisem vonit cigusi, cav O xet tvomm jitovepv. vjepl zua.

 

[Raydomps]

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