The Door is Open

[Andur]

I wasn't sure where the best place was to post the following development in my life, but I wanted to share this with everyone a) as a reaffirmation of my recent choice to take a decisive leap and b) to hopefully inspire confidence in others to do the same.

Some background: like many, I have been working 9-5 for the past four years, doing relatively well with the salary offered, diligently paying off debts and serving my time. However, it didn't take long for the monotony to start taking its toll on my motivation, happiness and general well-being so I continued working here while knowing that at some point I would absolutely leave and move on.

But I never knew WHEN that point was going to be. I talked vaguely about giving myself X amount of time, to save X amount of money and for "this and that" to fall into place before making the jump. Sure, nobody advocates jumping ship the moment you're unhappy but there is definitely a fine line between planning everything to a tee and simply belaboring the separation.

Now one caveat: I am English and I work in America, sponsored by my business to work here on a temporary visa with my "specialist skill." Naturally, this visa is the biggest obstacle holding me back from quitting. I have built up a great network and recognize the wonderful opportunities at my disposal...in short, I love this country but I just don't love WHAT I'm doing here, or rather, what takes up most of the time that I have here. However, if I quit, I leave the country...that's the law.

But now the plot twist! Suddenly, completely out of the blue, my boss turns to me and informs me that she is planning to leave the small business that she created. Dumbfounded, but also somewhat excited at the same time, I started considering the options that she placed before me. Did I want to take over a bigger role at the business and manage it in her absence? Do I want to stay on until my current visa runs out (October 2014)? Do I want to just leave entirely and head back to England?

At first, the lure of more responsibility, more pay, more opportunity to grow was strong "BUT WAIT A SECOND!" I thought. Wasn't this EXACTLY how I felt four years ago when I took the job in the first place, as a fresh-faced recent graduate? Mmmmm money (never had that before!), mmmmm prestige (definitely a step up from Mr. Nobody!), mmmmm a new business and adventure (man, was I bored before). It truly was EXACTLY the same situation only a few years later and the next level up.

So as it stands, I am going to calmly and confidently tell my boss that I will see out my current visa for the next seven months and then...well...who knows.

The point is, everyone has an excuse not to take action. I have sat here and convinced myself for quite some time, despite my unhappiness, that my situation is different because of the work visa restrictions. But WE ALL have that one reason (or possibly more) why we simply can't, or should wait, to take that leap.

Yes, I'm terrified but at least I have made that decision because it's based on the logic of the present, not the unpredictability of an unknown future that hasn't even happened. The visa will always be my demon whether I confront it now or later in life. I don't know if I can ever resolve it and keep what I ultimately want (the American dream!) but I may as well grab the bull by the horns now rather than allow it to constantly gnaw at my soul for the next year, two years, three years...

So the door was opened and yet I still hesitated to walk through it. Perhaps it was always open but I just didn't try the handle. Either way, at some point you have to find a way even if that which is on the other side isn't exactly what you thought or hoped it would be...at first. I sure as hell know now that whatever it brings will be a step in the right direction.

Thanks for reading!

 

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