Public Apology

[DarkKnight]

Dear Readers of the Fastlane Forum,

Recently there was a big debate on one of my past threads on my using of offensive language to address my home country.
I have a traumatized past including being kidnapped as a kid by a organ harvesting ring and other terrible experiences, best kept private. Due to this, my views about the place are shaped around MY experiences that I saw happening around ME, the news I saw on TV that I remembered, the thoughts I believe in, etc.

When questions were popped up, I replied with my views and beliefs shaped by my experience of reality there. While no one has the right to judge me or know everything about my past, I agree that some views are best kept private for personal safety reasons. Not everyone gets kidnapped or abused. It can happen in ANY place. The US and India both have incidents of crimes. Luck I suppose.
But saying country X is like ABC is a blanket statement.

@NervesOfSteel I apologize to you and your group of people that I have offended by sharing my beliefs publicly. These are MY beliefs though. All f*cked up. Because of a f*cked up past I didn't want to, but the discussion was triggered on a public thread.
It didn't help that I had trauma flashbacks and it was a trauma response playing itself out publicly. Never have, I, in my life before received death threats for saying something out on the internet.

After one of the people here leaked my ID, all my social media accounts were hacked. I have been receiving threats and had to call the police yesterday.

As a result, I am publicly asking that the thread be deleted for my personal safety. Atleast the content I posted. I wasn't aware after locking, I wont be able to delete it later.
Not everyone has a bad experience in any country. Plenty of good and bad people in both countries. Maybe @NervesOfSteel experience is a really good one. And mine was bad. Yours could be either. Anywhere.

Criticizing anything publicly is a terrible recipe for personal safety.

@MJ DeMarco
@NervesOfSteel
@Antifragile
@SnowLava
@heavy_industry
@Spenny
@Shono
@ZF Lee

Can we please delete the thread for my personal safety?

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Antifragile]

I don't have the power to delete anything, but given what you are saying above I am sure @MJ DeMarco can help you clean it all up. He's been great at keeping the forum clean and safe for all.

Sorry to hear you are going though stuff like that. Maybe this thread should not exist either...

 

[MJ DeMarco]

Can we please delete the thread for my personal safety?

I deleted it.

 

[ZF Lee]

Dear Readers of the Fastlane Forum,

Recently there was a big debate on one of my past threads on my using of offensive language to address my home country.
I have a traumatized past including being kidnapped as a kid by a organ harvesting ring and other terrible experiences, best kept private. Due to this, my views about the place are shaped around MY experiences that I saw happening around ME, the news I saw on TV that I remembered, the thoughts I believe in, etc.

When questions were popped up, I replied with my views and beliefs shaped by my experience of reality there. While no one has the right to judge me or know everything about my past, I agree that some views are best kept private for personal safety reasons. Not everyone gets kidnapped or abused. It can happen in ANY place. The US and India both have incidents of crimes. Luck I suppose.
But saying country X is like ABC is a blanket statement.

@NervesOfSteel I apologize to you and your group of people that I have offended by sharing my beliefs publicly. These are MY beliefs though. All f*cked up. Because of a f*cked up past I didn't want to, but the discussion was triggered on a public thread.
It didn't help that I had trauma flashbacks and it was a trauma response playing itself out publicly. Never have, I, in my life before received death threats for saying something out on the internet.

After one of the people here leaked my ID, all my social media accounts were hacked. I have been receiving threats and had to call the police yesterday.

As a result, I am publicly asking that the thread be deleted for my personal safety. Atleast the content I posted. I wasn't aware after locking, I wont be able to delete it later.
Not everyone has a bad experience in any country. Plenty of good and bad people in both countries. Maybe @NervesOfSteel experience is a really good one. And mine was bad. Yours could be either. Anywhere.

Criticizing anything publicly is a terrible recipe for personal safety.

@MJ DeMarco
@NervesOfSteel
@Antifragile
@SnowLava
@heavy_industry
@Spenny
@Shono
@ZF Lee

Can we please delete the thread for my personal safety?

Rather sad the thread had to be deleted...honestly I would say no. Or it could be shifted to the Speedway Forum, where it has a better entry barrier.

I really loved your story of triumph over a broken past of poverty. It made me feel less alone, even as we are in a world where many things can come against us.

Your sharings on India's weaknesses also reminded me of my own country Malaysia's shortcomings. There's tons of religious crap...politics...bad public policy...wealth problems...but nothing compared to what you had to face in your old home country. For this, I felt that perhaps I myself had been ignoring opportunities that were already at my own doorstep.

You fought very hard to find a better life-- and you shared your heart out. Which I believe is what makes this Forum great. I'm talking about authenticity and self-reflection.

I would never want a bunch of trolls or online criminals to tear that all down.

I want to encourage you to continue sharing your journey with us...no matter how difficult it sounds. Of course, you may now have to share them in more bite-sized pieces, and be a bit gentler with some replies.

As for the patriotism argument that was raised in that thread... I feel that wherever we go, we carry a tiny spark of the home where we were born.

And wherever we choose to live and give, we remain as our home country's 'ambassadors' in spirit. So when I see you share wonderful wins and progress with us, maybe there will be readers who think, 'This is what an Indian is like'.

I believe that is still a service to your homeland, no matter how broken it may be.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[DarkKnight]

Edited.

 

[ZF Lee]

Hi @ZF Lee,

I appreciate your post and thank you for saying what you did.

I enjoyed my time here at the Fastlane Forum but I made unfortunately the wrong decision of sharing my thread with folks from my 'old' country who hate me to the core. These people are after me now. Every time I post, my details will be leaked and used against me, I would be harassed online all the time, etc. My therapist's look of horror on her face when I told her what I'd done.
I would like to keep posting but I think it would be better if I start over with a new ID. I will reveal who I am to selected people I trust, asking for privacy. You will be one of them. My story, will never be revealed in full until its time to tell it all in one book.

ANYONE ELSE who would like to know where I am and keep touch is free to DM me.

I would like to stay and focus on going from A to B and share the journey with you.

I'd like you to know though that I am in a happy place now. I decided to drop out of entrepreneurship, for atleast next 5 years.

When that organ harvesting ring kidnapped me from the streets, I was like 4. Didn't quite know the alphabet yet. Was too stupid. But thankfully, right before I was delivered to the middleman, I remember getting to a point on the streets where I saw some people around. My inner systems kicked into high gear and although I tried to stop it, unnaturally loud cries started to come out. Something took over -- as I tried to fight it and stop, as told. But I couldn't. The screaming kept getting louder. Until people started taking notice and he started to see the tide could turn against him and he could be caught. So, he let me go.
I remember walking on the streets alone crying, lost, completely alone. Until some kind gent saw that if he didn't get me, I would be re-kidnapped within minutes. It was getting dark.

Then he dropped me home. And I will never forget the look of horror on his face as he was leaving. He kept looking at my Mom's disappointed face to see her son being brought back to her. I remember her saying to him why did he think it was his problem. Not a cup of tea for the kind gent who rescued her son from an otherwise gruesome, f*cked up death -- cut to pieces, raped, killed. Not her problem apparently.

And then she resumed work with a disappointed look on her face as if nothing had happened. No cops called. No reports. No preventive measures. Just sadness to see her lost son back.
A few years later, she made me sign a contract at 8 for the food I was eating too. Contract that she would get XYZ in return for her investment on the food on me. I got it then why she was so disappointed when I was returned.

A few days ago I relived the episode as it had happened not decades ago, but it happened all over again. I was a mess to behold. The cops know me here, the paramedics, the doctors and so on. They all worked together to do the 'mom' and 'pop' thing as it should have happened after the accident.
I was shaking like a bell, having uncontrollable crying spells, the whole purging thing. They finally were starting to grasp on how deeply F*cked my shit was.
THEY told me to call the police. THEY asked me if I was okay, of how horrible it was, of how they were grateful I was safe. If I had eaten after the incident happened (lol). I was messing reality with trauma again and they were talking to that scared little child that had been sitting scared there for years. When the entire traumatic episode was relived, this time with support in place, the child cried for a few days but then the trauma left me. The child got the closure he deserved. Sleeping patterns started returning to normal, all the mental health issues resolved in a flash and I started to smile again.

But before I smiled again, I laughed as I was crying. At this motherfcker. Talk about being hard to kill.

And all my life I had been asking myself. HOW? How exactly was I able to not just survive, but thrive. Was there really something watching over me? One day, I got into an argument with the universe and I was at a fork in road. Was there something, or not? So I looked to the sky, grinned a little and said -- "If I don't see it, it doesn't exist." Then, I am gonna make the irreversible decision to go the way of X and not Y. I wanted to choose based on reason, not intuition.
And then, I saw a light orb right with the whole nucleus thing above where I was standing. It kept revolving around me. My guardian angel revealing itself and saying hey. I was so stunned, I ran back inside. I couldn't speak for days after. The doctor went straight to the 'Are you psychotic' talk. So I stopped talking. To her. But I have someone else. Someone, who when told about the light orb, didn't even bat a F*cking eyelid. It didn't even faze her. I was horrified. Solely me, and I alone, understand what I am dealing with here. And only she knows what she's dealing with. And we both know and smile about something we both know, but choose to keep to ourselves.

And so, I have decided to let go of entrepreneurship. To focus on the cause of saving children like myself from organ harvesting gangs. And to give them new lives in this generous and kind community I live in now. Service to both nations and specially to the people of both countries -- innocent little kids who would have otherwise been ripped apart, was it not for your action. United with families who would otherwise be childless.

Purpose for me man.

Wow...didn't expect the total shift.

We have a similar problem back in my country. Instead of kids getting kidnapped for organ-harvesting, they get pulled into running scam call centres in Myanmar or Laos.

I lost an ex-schoolmate to one Myanmar kidnapping circle. They lured him in using lucrative job offers and even a love trap, beat him and forced him to make scam calls till he got sick with COVID. Then they refused to treat him and let him rot in some Thai hospital till he passed away.

The parents couldn't retrieve him early because the Thai hospital took him in under a different name.

Just imagine the grief of the mother, holding her son's ashes on the way back home...

From this experience, I learnt there were actually a few local politicians and NGOs actively involved in this 24/7 work of finding the lost and bringing them back home. But you need A LOT of networking power and street smarts to even find a single lead.

It's not that far off from the entrepreneurial mindset.

My take on this is to seek those who are already in the mission of saving the kids, and work with them for a few years to learn the ropes. It does not always have to be some top-notched NGO. It can be some religious organization or private individual with a big heart.

Then you can either choose to help them out in a bigger way, or start your own outfit.

All the best, and hope you do well in your mission.

 

[DarkKnight]

Wow...didn't expect the total shift.

We have a similar problem back in my country. Instead of kids getting kidnapped for organ-harvesting, they get pulled into running scam call centres in Myanmar or Laos.

I lost an ex-schoolmate to one Myanmar kidnapping circle. They lured him in using lucrative job offers and even a love trap, beat him and forced him to make scam calls till he got sick with COVID. Then they refused to treat him and let him rot in some Thai hospital till he passed away.

The parents couldn't retrieve him early because the Thai hospital took him in under a different name.

Just imagine the grief of the mother, holding her son's ashes on the way back home...

Yeah it's luck at the end of the day. You could get hacked to pieces in one of the safest corners of the world or stay scratch free in a place with a high crime rate.

I am very grateful to be alive.

From this experience, I learnt there were actually a few local politicians and NGOs actively involved in this 24/7 work of finding the lost and bringing them back home. But you need A LOT of networking power and street smarts to even find a single lead.

It's not that far off from the entrepreneurial mindset.

My take on this is to seek those who are already in the mission of saving the kids, and work with them for a few years to learn the ropes. It does not always have to be some top-notched NGO. It can be some religious organization or private individual with a big heart.

Then you can either choose to help them out in a bigger way, or start your own outfit.

All the best, and hope you do well in your mission.

Can't disclose exactly what here publicly but I am out for total war.
I already have made a few calls. Know where I am headed next. I need next 12-24 months to learn the skills to make this transition.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.