Personal Social Media... A Disease.

[Kak]

Your life is yours to live not anyone else's.

I can't understand the mentality of people who need to post every single aspect of their daily lives on social media. Pictures of every moment on the fricking internet... Like that video that was posted here a few months back. The guy just has to get as many likes as he can just to keep a gun out of is mouth. He's a corpse anyway.

Even worse are the people on social media who want everyone to know how cool they are and show off their new terrible financial decisions...

Even worse AGAIN are the people who are addicted to looking at social media and spend hours consuming the worthless crap that their show off idiot friends produce.

Now parents even subject their young children to this privacy forsaken disease... Being a small child now... There is no choice in the matter.

This is the downfall of functional society... People live on the Internet now and it's disgusting. What the hell happened to privacy? For 99 percent of the population it is completely gone.

Communicate with a purpose... My social network is the list of people I know I could reach out to at any time via phone, email, Skype or text message. I do not have a facebook, twitter, LinkedIn, Pinterest, Instagram, snap chat, or anything else that shares crap with people. It is freeing, it is private and I like it like this.

This forum is for learning, networking and expanding horizons so don't go comparing this to social media and calling me a hypocrite. I'm not talking about social media for a real, tangible business gain. That is acceptable as fas as I'm concerned.

Let's discuss...

 

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[Formless]

It's easy to waste time and play the comparison game on social media. It's also easy to lose the ability to pick up the phone and say 'Hey, let's go for a pint of cider, play pool and have a real conversation.' This I hate. As well as people texting or checking their FB feeds in the middle of conversations or during dinner - but that's my personal thing, because I treat every meal I eat with others as a special event. A study I read somewhere said that the reason we're so addicted to social media is because of the dopamine linked to validation from likes and notifications etc. So when we say 'addicted to social media' - it's a real thing. And it sucks.

That said, I have friends in:

- Germany
- Macau
- Hong Kong
- New Zealand
- Japan
- Canada
- Romania
- USA
- Scotland
- Alaska

I communicate with them through Facebook & Skype regularly. My communication with these people has NOTHING to do with business. And I would be pretty reluctant to give it up.

Because they're my friends.

 

[Kak]

I don't consider Skype social media... It doesn't broadcast your thoughts to a giant list of every person you have ever met. It's a VoIP phone service with video and messaging capability.

 

[borntodominate]

Only reason i use social media is to grow my brand, if you use it for anything else you are wasting time

 

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[Journey2Million$]

I signed up for Facebook and I was appalled by the massive privacy invasion inherent in it.
Then I discovered that social marketing does literally mean you have to be very social, at least on Facebook you do.
Screw it, at least for now.

 

[Digamma]

I don't understand why people like you get so angry with it.
I agree that it's ridiculous and dangerous, so I don't put my life on display. But it's their business.
If nothing else, it's an asset for me. The more info they share, the more I can get on them if I need it.

 

[Darius]

I was one of those with the disease.
Grew up with social media & eventually start living my life from it.

Addicting with really no gain.

I eventually hopped out the box and realized how ridiculous it is.

Still can't believe I would be on social networks EVERYWHERE I could (Restaurants, driving, hanging with my girlfriend, etc..)

 

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[Kak]

I don't understand why people like you get so angry with it.
I agree that it's ridiculous and dangerous, so I don't put my life on display. But it's their business.
If nothing else, it's an asset for me. The more info they share, the more I can get on them if I need it.

You can tell yourself that all you want. I knew I was going to piss some people off with this.

Is it really that important to you to see what restaraunt some friend from high school you haven't spoken to in 3 years ate last night? Do you need to know how pissed off they are that their favorite sports team lost?

Does crap like that really further your business interests like you think it does? No way. If you are reading your news feed for business reasons you are lying to yourself.

 

[Digamma]

You can tell yourself that all you want. I knew I was going to piss some people off with this.

I'm sorry, do you know how to read?

Is it really that important to you to see what restaraunt some friend from high school you haven't spoken to in 3 years ate last night? Do you need to know how pissed off they are that their favorite sports team lost?

Never said that. In fact, I agreed with you.

Does crap like that really further your business interests like you think it does? No way. If you are reading your news feed for business reasons you are lying to yourself.

Never said this either. Now, if I have to deal with someone, accessing their profile before contacting them benefits me. The amount of dangerous info people put on social media is a gold mine.

I just asked you why other's people use of it generate an emotional response in you. Why are you angry about it.

 

[ilrein]

@Kak, you know we love you here. You're the man. I think you might have bit off @Digamma's head a little too quickly

But anyway, I'd like to offer you my thoughts:

For starters, I used to agree with you 100%, in an equally aggressive tone of voice. But things changed for me. I pivoted on my viewpoint which used to be exclusively anti social media.

Have you heard the law that the most powerful organism in an ecosystem is the not the strongest, fastest, or smartest one--it's the one with the most influence?

Social media is a phenomenal tool to create, build, and maintain your network of influence. Never in our history before has the ability to impact so many people resided at our fingertips.

Yes, a non-productive user might spam their Facebook with irrelevant updates, which echo their instant-gratification mindset...And I'm sure you've seen so much of it, that it eventually fuelled a rant. I know, I've been there too. But social media isn't to blame, it's the mentality of the majority of the users. But I don't want to focus on the negative. I'd like to bring light on the ability to develop, upkeep, and grow a personal, and highly stable, network of connections and influence.

And that is an amazingly powerful thing.

 

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[Toushi]

Social Media is a tool. Depending on the person one can use it to bring them closer to their goals, or use it to seek validation from their friends.

Ex. 1: Following your mentors, liking your favorite groups and blogs, using it to network, logging in with latest news, updates and important info.

Ex 2: Memes, cat pictures, people's minutiae strewn across news feed.

 

[craig1928]

let them divulge all their information to a third party, now you just have a better means to reach a target audience based on precise interests

 

[MJ DeMarco]

I view social media as a necessary evil. I'm on it for 99% business as it works wonders to reach a targeted audience. That other 1% is to see @biophase travel photos and @AllenCrawley latest product releases, ha ha. As Fastlaners, we should rejoice. I didn't have these tools when I started a business. Imagine the marketing power to reach 500,000 people who watch Family Guy, drink Coors Light, and hate Mitt Romney and his wife's horse. Such power!

I've shared some of my thoughts here:

https://www.thefastlaneforum.com/community/threads/why-facebook-is-a-joke.53079/

 

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[Kak]

I'm sorry, do you know how to read?
Never said that. In fact, I agreed with you.
Never said this either. Now, if I have to deal with someone, accessing their profile before contacting them benefits me. The amount of dangerous info people put on social media is a gold mine.

I just asked you why other's people use of it generate an emotional response in you. Why are you angry about it.

You ask me if I know how to read? The thread title says PERSONAL social media...

I also went on to say I wasn't talking about legitimate business purposes.

 

[Texan]

I agree with you, @Kak, but I love social media, particularly Facebook, from a marketing standpoint. It's a treasure trove of personal data that I can pay Facebook to have access to. I don't have a personal account but I've obtained 1000's of customers from Facebook. The vast majority of people have no idea that they are giving personal info to Facebook so Facebook can pimp them out. But I'm totally cool with it.

That being said, I do have a personal twitter account that isn't under my real name. I use it for political venting. Not everyone likes to read my conservative/libertarian tweets but I use it to blow off steam and I don't give a crap who read it.

 

[Texan]

I also went on to say I wasn't talking about legitimate business purposes.

Yes you did.

 

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[PureA]

I was recently talking about this topic with a friend.

I believe that in years to come there will be huge consequences of human development due to this very 'disease'.

I walk through a city centre, a good 65%+ looking and scrolling on their phone as they walk. Humans are not designed to be permanently attached to a screen. For so many people it is the first thing they do when they wake, and the last thing the check before bed.

I watch societies social skills deteriorate at alarming rates, and I fear that this is just the beginning.

 

[DeletedUser394]

I don't understand why people like you get so angry with it.
I agree that it's ridiculous and dangerous, so I don't put my life on display. But it's their business.
If nothing else, it's an asset for me. The more info they share, the more I can get on them if I need it.

Welcome to the forum, where everything is a circle jerk, and the same ideas are repeated ad nauseam. Give it a day or two and this thread will be marked 'gold' as well.

We are superior to everyone else, don't you know?

(This is sarcasm, but it rings true)

There is zero wrong with facebook. It's a tool like everything else. Some people share too much, some people not at all. Nothing but personal choice.

 

[AntEmpire]

Facebook is the only personal social media account I have and I was never in love with it. I signed up in college when it was being touted as an online yearbook and used it for that purpose only. The novelty wore off fast and now I use it only for responding to a rare direct message or accepting a friend request from people I can actually remember.

I have no feed to speak of because I unfollowed everyone on my friends list, family included, and never do any searches to find out what people are up to because I just don't care. Unless we're doing an old fashion face-to-face discussion, I don't see why I should care what you ate, where you went, what you're wearing, what you bought, who you're pissed at, what your kids look like, how cute your pets are, and what new bible quote you have for me today.

And don't ask me about posting. I average about 3 posts a year on my account.

That said, I have already opened a Facebook and Twitter account for my business. I don't like either (especially Twitter) but I understand they are necessary evils and just like a day job there are some things you'll just have to that you don't want to do.

But I agree with others that social media is a huge waste of time for many, but a wonderful opportunity for people like us to take advantage of.

 

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[Digamma]

You ask me if I know how to read? The thread title says PERSONAL social media...

I also went on to say I wasn't talking about legitimate business purposes.

Yeah, sure. Keep ignoring what I say.

 

[consty]

Why get mad?

Maybe try to understand why people use social media.

Read up a bit on evolutionary psychology. It'll all make sense.

 

[Kak]

I was recently talking about this topic with a friend.

I believe that in years to come there will be huge consequences of human development due to this very 'disease'.

I walk through a city centre, a good 65%+ looking and scrolling on their phone as they walk. Humans are not designed to be permanently attached to a screen. For so many people it is the first thing they do when they wake, and the last thing the check before bed.

I watch societies social skills deteriorate at alarming rates, and I fear that this is just the beginning.

This is exactly my point. Great post.

Look around the next time you are at a restaurant. Couples on dates with their heads buried in their phones. Little kids too! I can't believe this hasn't created more social awkwardness than it has yet.

I've been at professional sports games, concerts even the movies. People pay to be there and they sit on their phone the whole time.

This is probably 90 percent social media. I love my smartphone, but I can tell that because I don't have these social medias on my phone, I use my phone way less than average. You'll never see it sitting on the table at a restaurant. My 6 plus battery can last 2 and sometimes 3 days.

I have also began to make it a point to not talk to anyone while they are looking at their phone.

 

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[Mattie]

Social Media is only valuable to a certain extent getting leads I suppose for your business and if you're lucky enough to business connections. Really, anything else is just by their choice to participate in what they do. Frankly many go through this phase. Life ends up hitting them hard, the consequences losing their college degree, their job, their relationships, their finances, and perhaps when everything collapses, they've learned a valuable lesson.

Addiction, negative mindsets, and the wrong actions, produce bad consequences. No different than alcohol, drugs, sex, gambling etc. Someone uses it the wrong way, there are natural consequences. Social Media is just 2015's new version of addiction and forming bad habits. Follow the herd, the trend, and it becomes a collective mindset. Why should that surprise us. You create a product or forum and hope the same happens. lol And while you intend it for good, it can turn into a disaster on many levels, but still have good effects as well.

And that's probably why you have M.J. and other monitors in this one to weed out people. That makes the difference weeding out what you don't want in your community.

 

[biophase]

It really depends on how you view social media. For me, Facebook is great for keeping in touch and meeting new people. Without it, I really don't know what many of my friends are doing. Do you really talk to all your friends everyday? Do you catch up that often just by telephone? Sure you have some friends that you talk to often, but that circle is going to be smaller than your Facebook circle.

When I post a photo and my friends see them, to me we are keeping in touch. I can see who liked the post. Sometimes it makes me think, 'hey Jeff liked my post, I wonder what he's been up to', and I go visit his page, comment or IM him.

Here are examples of how I use social media.

I'm at the airport in Brazil and I meet this girl as we are charging cell phones at the only electric outlet in the terminal. She lives in Columbia. We become facebook friends. Now from a 10 minute chat, I have a friend in Columbia. Maybe I'll visit one day. Without Facebook, I would not even remember that meeting.

I'm in Iceland on a one week trip in 2011. I meet the 12 other people in my tour group. Guess what, as of today I only remember 2 people who were in that group. That's because we are friends on Facebook and I can see what they have been up to for the past 3 years. Now that I'm going to Australia, I will go visit them in a few months.

RealOG moved to Austin, TX. We don't talk everyday. But I know what he's been doing because I see an update every once in a while.

 

[Vigilante]

I love it. I can totally see and respect your position @Kak because I am one of the people on your speed dial. However, I can tell you that I really like social media. It's brought be back in contact with long lost friends, created a way for me to stay in touch with family I would otherwise lost touch with, and allowed a select group of people I control to be able to watch my daughter grow up.

We have a move pending soon, which will take us a distance from my older kids. Social media will allow us an easy platform to share pictures, movies, and life.

I keep business contacts on LinkedIn. I keep friends on Facebook. I don't cross pollenate either list, and I don't take friend requests from randoms.

Social media definately has it's downsides, but for me the upside exceeds the downside. I am a relatively recent convert to Twitter now, and am getting a ton of news from Twitter. It's actually shortening my media consumption time, giving me news in 140 characters.

And I know your post was personal social networking only, but I am on social media 24-7 regarding business anyway. It's minutes vs. hours to keep up with family and friends, as I am there for business anyway.

If I visited a business for business, and ran into a group of friends while I was there... I would say hello and catch up. I see Facebook similarly.

 

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[FeaRxUnLeAsHeD]

I use social media for business, and I have personal social media. However I've limited my personal use on social media to facebook, to which i stay connected with peers, friends, family, previous managers, professors, teachers, etc. If i'm not posting something related to business, it's usually encouraging uplifting quotes or motivational videos/speeches.

I also have limited the time i'll use social media.. Usually i just compile it all together into one timeframe. For example, I have all push notifications disabled, email doesn't auto update, etc. When I wake up in the morning after doing a few things in my schedule, I'll check email, facebook, Group messages, text, phone calls, etc. One check. I also do the same for lunch time. That's IT.

For shit like facebook, i've hidden probably 60% of my friends from my newsfeed because they post pointless bullshit that crowds my feed and thought process. No, I don't care about the news article on Ebola, the Paris killer, or any of that shit. That shit is just contagious, like a disease, and I don't watch the news for that exact reason. It doesn't have any positive impact on me, only negative, so I hide all of that shit, and I follow many many mentors and high spirited people and make sure I get notifications when they post. So it's like a little mentorship feed and uplifting feed whenever I log into facebook.. Never bullshit about who bought a new car, who sucked off who, or trying to impress your friends. I refuse to participate in that, and I refuse to be indulged in it.

 

[Semmy]

I avoided to be on FB since they started until last year.

I used it only with some different accounts under pen names - I had one author name that had a complete real website and author profile on Amazon and was accepted until Facebook sent me warning messages that my account might have been compromised and that I need to send in real ID and proof of my idendity to get back in. I ended up killing my author's avator and website in the end (also due to the fact that the published book bombed).

Then I reluctantly started my real Facebook account because I had to manage a few Facebook websites and without a real account you can't really do that, so I was literally forced to have my own account (even you can outsource page management and other things with http://business.facebook.com these days.

I closely guard what I post and I do hide a lot of private personal details,
and almost I post has to do in relation with some of my business projects.

Funny enough I reconnected with some long lost friends and even got a few new ad copy writing clients (yes I still do write sometimes ad copy for selected people) - and what I really loved, there are quite a few people book authors and speakers I never thought would react to my messages. Like MJ himself

No seriously - it is a big big distraction machine, but the question is "Who is control of your life?" - What is your circle of influence in regards to social media?

YOU. Automate the necessary evil by scheduling and broadcasting relevant messages to your target market via Twitter, Facebook and other social accounts (ask me for some real cool Wordpress Plugin that I would not share here in public that is a extreme time saver, ask me in private).

Decide how much connections you want to have, cut off fake friends and request that just keep you busy. Network for personal value: real friendship, real valuable business networking or sometimes just simple joy to watch new things what other people do that could inspire you.

In "real live" I also avoid too much social "hanging out" - it is not just a FB phenomenon. If you don't choose wisely you end being invited to this party, to this birthday just to invite them back and then you could end up pretty much in a social busy life that would not allow you to live your own because you end up with so many social connections that you feel obligated to maintain.

Keep MJs #24 rule in mind: "Not trust anyone, but allow trust to be prove."

P.S:

I don't consider Skype social media... It doesn't broadcast your thoughts to a giant list of every person you have ever met. It's a VoIP phone service with video and messaging capability.

All people you are connected with can see any status change you make, that's like sending a tweet or posting a FB update.

Ex 2: Memes, cat pictures...

Don't you dare my 3 cats need their daily dose. By the way you can easily block irrelevant feeds easily.
But I know it could led to micro-management of unimportant stuff you should not have been connected in the
first place. For example some of friends I really like I unsubscribed from their feed because I find their updates
just annoying.

P.P.S: I wonder what would have happened if social media existed like today back in 1999 when I was published with my first real hardcover book. Would I have got more business out of it? I am sure I would.

 

[MMatt]

From an employee standpoint, I have seen social lunch breaks become silent phone fixated gatherings.

I cannot lie, I am guilty of choosing my phone versus socializing at times but I am usually reading on this forum, reading blog posts from successful people, reading about building a wordpress site, doing market research, or other business browsing.

Social media is good when used as a tool for connecting with people and marketing, but all too many social media users (ahem abusers) have become infatuated with the virtual, social media lifestyle. I guess you can't blame them, they still believe cool stuff only happens in other peoples lives and the only way they are a part of it is by liking, commenting, sharing, pinning, tagging, and hash tagging it.

If on dates someone uses their phone for social media scrolling, it's a huge deal breaker. In my eyes that means you value that phone more than my human interactions with you. Have fun finding love, hugs, kisses, a family and financial advantages with your phone that is oh so fulfilling.

 

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[Charnell]

Welcome to the forum, where everything is a circle jerk, and the same ideas are repeated ad nauseam. Give it a day or two and this thread will be marked 'gold' as well.

We are superior to everyone else, don't you know?

(This is sarcasm, but it rings true)

There is zero wrong with facebook. It's a tool like everything else. Some people share too much, some people not at all. Nothing but personal choice.

Bravo.

Honestly, who gives a damn how someone else spends their time. Whining about it on the internet isn't going to change a thing, especially to people that agree with you. Everyone here knows that spending hours a day on Facebook posting pictures of your food, pets, etc is a waste of time, unless somehow you're monetizing it and adding value to other's lives.

Live and let live.

 

[Esquire]

I'm with MJ. FB is just something I use for business and networking.

The only people in my (personal) news feed are MJ .. Tim Ferriss ... family ... and a few close friends. That's it.

And I generally only browse the feed while walking on a treadmill. Might as well multitask.

But the reality is ... if thats where your clients are ... that's where you need to be.

Every company needs a solid social media strategy. Absent that ... you are missing out.

And quite frankly ... who cares what "they" choose to do ...?

If "they" want to post pics of what they ate for breakfast ... go for it. That has nothing to do with me.

And if I don't like it ... I don't have to subscribe to it. Who you choose to follow is up to you.

So forget about them. Focus on you.

To each their own.