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O/T: FUNNY JP Morgan CEO reponds to pretty girl request to marry rich

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Sep 6, 2011
Did a search and couldn't find a repost. This is probably fake and old since I doubt The CEO of JP Morgan would troll message boards but it did make me smile.

CEO's (of J.P Morgan) Fantastic reply to a Pretty Girl

A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum: Title: What should I do to marry a rich guy?

I'm going to be honest of what I'm going to say here. I'm 25 this year. I'm very pretty, have style and good taste.

I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above.You might say that I'm greedy, but an annual salary of $1M isconsidered only as middle class in New York My requirement is not high.

Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married?

I wanted to ask:

what should I do tomarry rich persons like you? Among those I've dated, the richest is$250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit.

If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the westof New York CityGarden(? ), $250k annual income is not enough.

I'm here humbly to ask a few questions:

1) Where do most richbachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and addresses of bars,restaurant, gym)

2) Which age group should I target?

3) Why most wivesof the riches is only average-looking? I've met a few girls who doesn't have looks & are not interesting, but they are able to marryrich guys

4) How do you decide who can be your wife, & who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)

Ms. Pretty---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Ms. Pretty,

I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow meto analyse your situation as a professional investor.

My annual incomeis more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I'm not wasting time here. From the standpoint of abusiness person, it is a bad decision to marry you.

The answer is verysimple, so let me explain. Put the details aside, what you're trying to do is an exchange of "beauty" and "money": Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square.

However, there's adeadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not begone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increasefrom year to year, but you can't be prettier year after year.

Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and youare a depreciation asset. It's not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value willbe much worried 10 years later.

By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position,dating with you is also a "trading position". If the trade valuedropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for longterm - same goes with the marriage that you wanted.

It might be cruelto say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or "leased".

Anyone with over$500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income.. This has better chance than finding a rich fool.

Hope this reply helps. If you are interested in "leasing" services, docontact me...


CEO J.P. Morgan

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Read Millionaire Fastlane
Oct 17, 2011
Charlottesville, VA
Can't possibly be true...I saw the same thing on Craigslist Best Of but under a different signature name

If this was Jamie Dimon, this would be on Deal Breaker and JPM would have to do a ton of PR cover-up.

though I did intern at JP and a lot of interesting things happened there...
Sep 30, 2011
Funny response. In a way, I can understand why some rich guys (not pointing any names) would choose not to take the marriage route. There are too many variables to consider.


Sep 6, 2011
Can't possibly be true...I saw the same thing on Craigslist Best Of but under a different signature name

If this was Jamie Dimon, this would be on Deal Breaker and JPM would have to do a ton of PR cover-up.

though I did intern at JP and a lot of interesting things happened there...

Hmmm... do tell.

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