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How Do you deal with people?

Richard Greene

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I am curious as to the different ways everyone deals with negative people. Mainly customers. I have noticed with some of my lower value offerings I always get a stampede of people that are rude, disrespectful, entitled and have no regard for others. Yet then they try to play the victim. It really gets me down. People will waste your time and degrade you and then laugh about it. I understand the psychology of why people behave the way they do but at the same time it depresses me. I follow the golden rule and even when faced with a person who in my opinion needs to go back to kindergarten, I smile, nod and act like they are right and are justified. Dale Carnegie's book How to Win Friends and influence people taught me that you have to put yourself in their shoes but what it didn't teach is how to deal with the psychological effects on yourself when dealing with these people.
No they do not make me feel bad about myself, they make me feel bad about the world we live in.
These people would pass a starving child in the street while eating a hamburger. It just makes me a little ashamed to be human.

Do you experience this? If so what do you do to keep your head up?
 

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Kennypaul

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I simply practice "the subtle art of not giving a f*ck" by Mark Manson.Choose good values which benefit me and those around me.Be a better person than I was yesterday and focus on my goals.
 
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Almantas

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I used to hide in a bush when someone called me out. Not anymore.

Why?

One simple, personal realization. I am not going to write an essay, just share this simple realization:

I see toxic people as someone who are sick and need help. Their cry for help is not one you normally get from people who sick from ordinary sickness - their cry for help is by trying to share their burden and toxic by unloading them onto you. It's like dealing with infected people. If you knew there's a village completely infected with Ebola virus - would you still go there naked and try to sell something, because there's a potential profit to be made? Don't think so. If you do and you finally get infected by Ebola - would you blame infected, innocent people or yourself - for making a silly decision of going naked into that unforgiving infected village?

I think there are 2 best options:

1) Put your hazmat suit and go into that village full of infected people - keep dealing with toxic people, just don't take it personally whatever they say and use your communication skills to produce positive results by dealing with them.

2) Don't go into that village - stop participating in that toxic communication dance altogether.

Hope my approach will be of some value to you.
 

DustinH

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Do you experience this? If so what do you do to keep your head up?
Yes. Been experiencing it all weekend long. I tell clients/customers I'm going to let them go and they either change their attitude or stomp off like a child. It's fine either way. I work real hard to keep poise and not rise to their emotional state. It's very close to dealing with a child who will throw a tantrum to see how much they can get away with or how much you will give in. The sooner you can give them an ultimatum to get rid of them, the less time and energy they will suck out of your life.

As for getting over it... I always remember that it sucks to be them. To be someone who firmly believes in their heart that they have to act like a child to win a deal or get what they want. It's sad. Also, when a customer is sucking my positive energy I like to seek out other customers, past or present, and see what I can do for them because they are more appreciative when you check in on them.

I also like what Rambo has to say about the issue.

 
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Richard Greene

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I simply practice "the subtle of not giving a f*ck" by Mark Manson.Choose good values which benefit me and those around me.Be a better person than I was yesterday and focus on my goals.
Been trying to give less of a F*ck about these people. I have always had a problem with letting people like this take advantage of me. I don't anymore of course. You can't in life or you will ultimately wind up the one in the gutter.

I just always find myself wishing I could change their attitude but once one is stuck in their ways you can't change their mind.

Thank you for taking the time to reply.
 
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Richard Greene

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Yes. Been experiencing it all weekend long. I tell clients/customers I'm going to let them go and they either change their attitude or stomp off like a child. It's fine either way. I work real hard to keep poise and not rise to their emotional state. It's very close to dealing with a child who will throw a tantrum to see how much they can get away with or how much you will give in. The sooner you can give them an ultimatum to get rid of them, the less time and energy they will suck out of your life.

As for getting over it... I always remember that it sucks to be them. To be someone who firmly believes in their heart that they have to act like a child to win a deal or get what they want. It's sad. Also, when a customer is sucking my positive energy I like to seek out other customers, past or present, and see what I can do for them because they are more appreciative when you check in on them.

I also like what Rambo has to say about the issue.


I love dealing with civil people! My repeats that acknowledge the golden rule are my favorites. By acting right I am inclined to give them more value! I have one customer (or as I consider him a friend) he buys from me every few months. It is always a delight dealing with him and I will give him special discounts, freebies etc. because dealing with him brightens my day. If only toxic people could see that giving to others ultimately gives back to yourself.
 
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Richard Greene

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I used to hide in a bush when someone called me out. Not anymore.

Why?

One simple, personal realization. I am not going to write an essay, just share this simple realization:

I see toxic people as someone who are sick and need help. Their cry for help is not one you normally get from people who sick from ordinary sickness - their cry for help is by trying to share their burden and toxic by unloading them onto you. It's like dealing with infected people. If you knew there's a village completely infected with Ebola virus - would you still go there naked and try to sell something, because there's a potential profit to be made? Don't think so. If you do and you finally get infected by Ebola - would you blame infected, innocent people or yourself - for making a silly decision of going naked into that unforgiving infected village?

I think there are 2 best options:

1) Put your hazmat suit and go into that village full of infected people - keep dealing with toxic people, just don't take it personally whatever they say and use your communication skills to produce positive results by dealing with them.

2) Don't go into that village - stop participating in that toxic communication dance altogether.

Hope my approach will be of some value to you.
Love the analogy! I certainly see what you are saying. I will choose to put on my hazmat suit and just remember from now on that not everyone can handle the daily rigors of life so they lash out. It is my job to listen to them because I am the one that chose to interact with them.
 

GoGetter24

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I am curious as to the different ways everyone deals with negative people. Mainly customers. I have noticed with some of my lower value offerings I always get a stampede of people that are rude, disrespectful, entitled and have no regard for others.
It's connected. The solution is to raise your prices, and focus more on higher value offerings. I think low value offerings is more for larger enterprises doing high volume and who have the revenue to pay for a crew of people placaters.

I noticed the effect quite early when I started out, with lower-end products/services drawing a disproportionate amount of bad customers. So paying attention to who you're targeting is just as important as what you're selling.
 

prashantcoupons

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Yes, you are a right If you deal with many peoples than you may have totally different kind of opinion in his mind. sometimes they want to prove them right and other wrong and it happens. It just depends on the position and that would change time to time. So don't when you would be boss you may treat in the same way but if don't then you may be loved by everyone.
 

rollerskates

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I have noticed with some of my lower value offerings I always get a stampede of people that are rude, disrespectful, entitled and have no regard for others.
"Cheap prices bring cheap customers"

-Zig Ziglar

It also depends on what is being offered. For instance--fashion and accessories-- if you sell, say, a lookalike cheap version of something Kim Kardashian wears, then that is a different type of customer than if you sell a bespoke item that one might wear to the opera.
 
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Richard Greene

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"Cheap prices bring cheap customers"

-Zig Ziglar

It also depends on what is being offered. For instance--fashion and accessories-- if you sell, say, a lookalike cheap version of something Kim Kardashian wears, then that is a different type of customer than if you sell a bespoke item that one might wear to the opera.
I source lumber for local craftsmen. I make and sell products myself but my main area is sourcing lumber and exotic hard woods. Most of my products are higher dollar but I have recently added some cheaper options into my mix. Most people I deal with own small custom wood shops and they are always, great people.

It's the occasional person that strolls along and thinks that even my cheapest options should be half the price. They schedule an appointment with me. Know all my prices before hand and then show up and throw a fit.

I have had it happen a few times now and they initially contacted me about my cheapest product.
 
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MJ DeMarco

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Hugh Nivers

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I source lumber for local craftsmen. I make and sell products myself but my main area is sourcing lumber and exotic hard woods. Most of my products are higher dollar but I have recently added some cheaper options into my mix. Most people I deal with own small custom wood shops and they are always, great people.

It's the occasional person that strolls along and thinks that even my cheapest options should be half the price. They schedule an appointment with me. Know all my prices before hand and then show up and throw a fit.

I have had it happen a few times now and they initially contacted me about my cheapest product.
Hey @Richard Greene,

Welcome to the board. I'm quite new here as well and just across the starting line in my fastlane—and let me tell ya, it doesn't seem so fast at the moment. lol. Currently I'm just using kiln dried douglas fir for my table builds, but since I'm still figuring out how to do what I'm doing, I'm open to ideas. I expect I'll try a few builds with some hardwoods after a while. I'd love to hear about your business. Feel free to PM me.
 
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Richard Greene

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Hey @Richard Greene,

Welcome to the board. I'm quite new here as well and just across the starting line in my fastlane—and let me tell ya, it doesn't seem so fast at the moment. lol. Currently I'm just using kiln dried douglas fir for my table builds, but since I'm still figuring out how to do what I'm doing, I'm open to ideas. I expect I'll try a few builds with some hardwoods after a while. I'd love to hear about your business. Feel free to PM me.
Hello Hugh,
It is nice to meet you. Thanks for reaching out to me. It is always a pleasure to speak with a like minded person. I am pretty swamped on the weekends but I will message you as soon as I can. I just can't promise how quickly I will reply.
I am very interested in hearing about your business as well.
I hope you enjoy your day.
I don't know how the weather is in California but here in Ohio we are going from 20 degree weather to the 70's!
 

WJK

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Skim the cream. You can fire your customers. You will notice that 80% of your problems come from 20% of your customers -- and 80% of your income comes from another 20% of your customers.

Carry some cards for the competitor that you like the least. Refer the difficult ones to them. It will keep them busy taking care of the customers you don't want to deal with. Those referrals will totally confuse your competitor. Be nice about it, and wish them well. There's plenty for everyone out there.

Then spend most of your time taking care of the customers from whom you get the majority of your income. Expand your base of good customers.
 

Siberia

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The negative person is a problem in itself.

As a rule, I try not to have direct contact.

Because negativity is a kind of attitude to avoid.

Accepting the negativity of a customer for fear of losing it makes you slip into mediocrity as both an entrepreneur and a man.

Here's the mediocrity 'grays everything and it's a risk that I do not want to run.

I learned to say ... NO... even to a pseudo-important customer.

NEGATIVE CUSTOMER=PSEUDO-IMPORTANT CUSTOMER


With this very clear distinction, I take action in the market, customer-oriented value.
 

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Late Bloomer

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[QUOTE="Richard Greene, post: 686904, member: 54819"I have noticed with some of my lower value offerings I always get a stampede of people that are rude, disrespectful, entitled and have no regard for others. Yet then they try to play the victim.[/QUOTE]

If somebody doesn't have a reason to choose a business for a reason other than price, then their choice will be by price. They will accept a cheap offer today, complaining all the way, and leave tomorrow for someone else's even cheaper offer, which they'll complain about twice as much.

The solution is to have a reason that people with money will happily pay much more to get much more, which they can only get from you. If people with plenty of money are pleased they could find and afford someone as great as you, they will buy and be happy with your high-priced, high-quality service. They won't nickel and dime you, whine and complain, because those aren't the behaviors that got them rich in the first place. (Or if they inherited the money, that made it possible for them to keep it rather than blowing through it.)

What could you do to make a service so awesome that easy to please rich people will buy it, while intolerable cheapskates will feel compelled to go somewhere else?
 

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