HOT! MINDSET how do I become emotionally and mentally strong

[Digamma]

What happened to you?
I'm asking because you said that you didn't use to be this way. What we experience molds us. I went through something similar.

I understand all the "read this and that advice", but I don't agree. Reading a book is procrastination.
You know what you want to be. Be it. I love @DreamCreator's post.

Do stuff that makes you feel great. Don't stew in these feelings you have.

What is this bio energetics? This video?

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Luffy]

What happened to you?
I'm asking because you said that you didn't use to be this way. What we experience molds us. I went through something similar.

I understand all the "read this and that advice", but I don't agree. Reading a book is procrastination.
You know what you want to be. Be it. I love @DreamCreator's post.

Do stuff that makes you feel great. Don't stew in these feelings you have.

What is this bio energetics? This video?

Yes but there are others that are even better.

 

[smarty]

I feel like you're spot on for some reason, added to my list.

After I finished reading that book, it was clear to me that all my adult years the "child me" was craving & screaming for a father figure and father love while all I was getting was a coward, insecure, emotionally manipulative father masked in a "good guy costume". Confusion and insecurity is what followed.
The rest is history. This is as good as I can describe it.

 

[Luffy]

After I finished reading that book, it was clear to me that all my adult years the "child me" was craving & screaming for a father figure and father love while all I was getting was a coward, insecure, emotionally manipulative father masked in a "good guy costume". Confusion and insecurity is what followed.
The rest is history. This is as good as I can describe it.

Well I grew up without a father pretty much though I saw him from time to time. It didn't matter to me, I had no ill feelings, I was respectful but indifferent untill I saw he was insecure and wanted to leech of me emotionally thinking he could rule my life after I already grew up. It's the story of last year.

 

[DeletedUser19]

Mindset training that helps people get a new outlook on life, open up the box, and then see that there was never a box after all

That + some jedi mind tricks

NLP or affirmations/incantations?

Read this book called "Toxic Parents" by Susan Forward, in my view most confidence issues have the roots in childhood and bad or missing parenting.

I've heard that "No More Mr Nice Guy" is good for men also. Haven't read it but it's on my list.

 

[smarty]

I've heard that "No More Mr Nice Guy" is good for men also. Haven't read it but it's on my list.

I've read it long time ago. Not much useful, more like a useful feel-good fluff.

 

[smarty]

Mindset training that helps people get a new outlook on life, open up the box, and then see that there was never a box after all

That + some jedi mind tricks

well then don't be greedy, throw it out here

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[jlwilliams]

I'm surprised no one has mentioned "The Unbeatable Mind" By Mark Divine. Great book, read it. Also I'll second "Psycho Cybernetics".

The idea that you are not strong enough is purely your opinion and you (and only you) can choose your self image. It's all in your head. Change your mind and it's no longer true.

 

[Tlcalis]

Watch these two videos before you read anymore books, forum posts etc
They'll change your life they changed mine best two videos on the internet about high performance

 

[Concept]

Dude, I totally understand. Man, years ago I couldn't be in a room with people without my self doubts and my mind going a million miles an hour.

It took time to change the bad habit of self doubt - particularly if you have behaving that way for years and years.

Mental strength, toughness, whatever you want to call it is like a muscle. The more you work at it the strong it becomes. It is an ever continuing journey.

My interest is in why do you want to be an entrepreneur? I think being an entrepreneur is awesome, and you should totally go for it, but I want to know what is it for you that has you want to be an entrepreneur?

Right now I'm guessing you current experience of everything is powerlessness, frustrated and trapped? Would I be close?

What do you think entrepreneurial ship will provide you with that you don't have already?

 

[smarty]

Don't talk shit about your parents on the internet. From about the age of 16 onward I'd say people are responsible for their own choices. I personally take responsibility for every choice made after the age of 12 because I remember making the wrong choices and my environment wasn't to blame.

Dear God, if you weren't so judgmental to people in heaven, they would trust more in your goodness.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[smarty]

Thanks for the book recommendation. It seems that it came at the right time in my life. I actually knew about this book and wanted to read it. But I discarded it for no reason.

I've improved my mindset and my self-esteem tremendously for the last few weeks, and I think this is the only thing missing so I can release my full potential - resolving the issues (present, but especially past) with my parents and healing my inner child.

Read it. You'll be surprised.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Luffy]

Read it. You'll be surprised.

Is there a free pdf version of it on internet? I'd rather not have a physical copy of that.

 

[Avus]

I'm can't pinpoint when it began but I have become a mentally weak person racked with self doubt and low confidence. So much so, it keeps me up at night and has pretty much affected all areas of my life.

In my teens I never had these feelings aside from the usual teenage confidence issues. I am now 29 and what people might consider a basement dweller (I only leave the house to go to work).

I don't think I am emotionally equipped to handle the process required to becoming an entrepreneur. And to be honest do I want to do it for the right reasons? Is being deeply disappointed with what I've become and wanting to make up for the years I've been a hermit reason enough?

There probably isn't an easy fix much like there isn't an easy path to riches but would appreciate any advice.

Thanks for taking the time to read.

I did not read everyone's response, but a good book if it has not been mentioned it is "How to win friends and influence people" It is from the earlier part of the 20th century but it dives into a lot of psychology that is still applicable. It is a fantastic book.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[stevethe bungee]

Poor nutrition can be a problem. too much sugar and processed food is causing anger and psychological problems in many people these days, and yes get out in the world ,meet people and some exercise is crucial. you will get there.

 

[Bila]

You will become strong when being weak is not an option anymore.
You will become strong when you have no other choice.

I must add : There is not a single " how to " for becoming strong...there are different types of " strong " ....some people call " insensitivity " being strong, it's not ( in my opinion ) for me it's a balance between being assertive and receptive to others feelings. Being able to take what life throws at you ( and she does throw stuff ) while maintaining a sense of innocence, not being bitter about life ...etc.

 

[Mattie]

I like the the book legal minds perception of truth and facts and evidence, and really backed up my theory already. Everyone has their truth and beliefs in their reality and experience at the moment. Our memory and senses can deceive us and fail us. Facts we perceive as reality can be false. Their is your truth, my truth, what is hidden behind the scenes. If this was a classroom, you and I could be the only one in the room before everyone shows up.

His car was the only one parked in the parking lot before we both arrived. Someone smashed it up. He walks in before class and sees both of us in the room. We can both say we didn't touch his car. We can both have blood on us. You have a hand all cut up. I have blood dripping from sleeve and down the hall to my table.

He can look at both of us and sees both. Who is the guilty one? You or me.

Before class I was in a car accident on the highway and a friend dropped me off. You tripped and feel through the glass door leaving the house.

We're both arrested, because M.J. didn't like the idea that his nice car was smashed.

We have no witnesses, no evidence to prove something happen. And my report from the police was three hours earlier.

Later he finds out that it wasn't either one of us. It was another instructor that was angry with him for getting him fired.

How do they find out? Camera's outside in the parking lot and the hallways. Time stamped, but in some cases they could even be set up to where
M.J. paid someone to fix the camera's, and wanted the other instructor out of his way. Set the whole thing up. Paid someone to smash his own car. lol

A far fetched story. But shows how appearances can deceive us. And the illusions are there.

 

[Mattie]

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[chip2000]

Apologies to all for not replying sooner. I have been lurking in the background.

Read Psycho Cybernetics by Dr. Maxwell Maltz, and 177 Mental Toughness Secrets by Steven Siebold.

Before I posted I actually downloaded a couple of Kindle samples related to mindset - one of them being 177 Mental Toughness Secrets as well as Mental Strength - Control Your Mind and Achieve Your Goals by Iain Abernethy (if anyone is interested). Bounce - The Myth of Talent and the Power of Practice by Matthew Syed also looks like a good read.

Sure you're emotionally equipped! Trust me there's nothing you can't overcome in life. Mental is strengthening your mind. Getting rid of the negative thoughts from toxic people in your life. As I've told some of the people I've already helped, write down all the negative things people to say to you that are significant in your life. Write down the ones that you tell yourself. And look at those thoughts. Are they truth about you? No they're not!

Years of negative thinking and stress (most likely self-inflicted) has taken it's toll. If there is anything I want to achieve this year it would be to overcome this.

I often have thoughts like this:
I wish I was 10 years younger (I used to wish I was 5 years younger 5 years ago)
I wish I listened to my Dad and not gone to university and started working with him (although, my Dad is an autocrat and my Mum used to be a worrier - it would have driven me insane)
I wish when I failed my first year in my degree my university didn't let me back in - who knows where I might be today
I wish I was never fat
I wish this..
I wish that..

Meditation helps.

I've heard good things about meditation but like with many things I've not taken action.

You are capable of doing what you want. You just are. That's not motivational speech. It's just the truth.

This really stood out for me. Thanks Even Steven.

Start watching comedy, you're too stifled and resisting isn't going to help, get in touch with who you are.
You need to relax and go back to how you were as a kid, I'm sure you didn't have today's issue's.

I rarely watch anything these days - I think I somehow convinced myself that if I stopped watching TV I would be a better person for it and achieve so much more. How was wrong I?

What happened to you?
I'm asking because you said that you didn't use to be this way. What we experience molds us. I went through something similar.

I'm not sure what started it.
Maybe it was because I had a hard time making friends during my first couple of years at university and I never got the work-life balance right (constantly stressed)
Maybe it was my Dad's affair and not being man enough to confront him? - I think I will read Toxic Parents.
Maybe it is just constant negative thoughts?

My interest is in why do you want to be an entrepreneur? I think being an entrepreneur is awesome, and you should totally go for it, but I want to know what is it for you that has you want to be an entrepreneur?

I read TMF a year ago - never took any action though.
I attended a friends wedding last October in Singapore. He asked me when I was coming to work out there. I told him never - life is easy in the UK, I like 8 hour days and 5 weeks holiday a year (I didn't want to tell him about my problems) to which he replied where is your F*cking drive man?
I think me wanting to be an entrepreneur is so I can say I haven't wasted my life.
I'll be able to focus on improving myself once I have more free time. i.e. rich
(On reading back it looks like a mishmash of my thoughts - I swear I was going somewhere with this)


I have taken some action - I've sourced products from China and added my own branding. I will be attempting to sell via Instagram. But what should have taken me 4 weeks has taken 12 and I'm still not ready yet. I didn't validate, I constantly question whether this is the right product, am I really adding value or just selling things online, is the name good enough, does the logo look a bit shit, is the packaging good enough? Am I really being an entrepreneur?



Thanks for all the replies. I really wanted to address everybody's posts. I think it is clear - I am a victim of my own mind.

 

[smarty]

I'm not sure what started it.
Maybe it was because I had a hard time making friends during my first couple of years at university and I never got the work-life balance right (constantly stressed)
Maybe it was my Dad's affair and not being man enough to confront him? - I think I will read Toxic Parents.
Maybe it is just constant negative thoughts?

Drop everything else for 2-3 days and read "Toxic Parents".
Your answer is there (and many others).
Nothing changes overnight but once you begin to understand why you feel that way and have clarity, you start moving in a new direction.
After reading it I'm not the same person because before I had a lot of self-doubt but now I KNOW.

 

[IGSKnox]

I think ol Zig Ziglar said it best, " to change your output, you need to change your input"