Hi, my first post here and I've been eager to dive into this community.
I wanted to express my sincere thanks for this work and if I may offload my backstory, please oblige me.
From the age of sweet 16 I was once upon a time in the slow lane, steady job, steady pay cheque, steady life. There I stayed until after having my babies when I flung myself into providing the best possible life for them (meaning I needed serious money) and discovered entrepreneurship.
I knew that entrepreneurship was the path to freedom but it was hard, it was a struggle, it was long hours, it took me away from my family not toward them.
I fell head first down a law of attraction rabbit hole and got stuck, head buried in the sand of indoctrinated beliefs that I thought would serve me, help me provide this life of wealth and freedom that I promised my family from my heart.
I went from slowlane to sidewalk which I guess is the other way around for most people as described in the book, but not for me. The side of me that wanted MORE found it (or so I thought) on the sidewalk. Thank goodness for my slow lane husband - I say this with utmost respect and love for him - he has kept us afloat to pay the rent and for food while I lived in LaLa land in my mind.
For at least the past 3 years I have struggled so badly with depression, struggled with alcohol to escape my 'failure', and more than once have felt not deserving of being in this world. My children, my husband, and dare I say it - the Law of Attraction - are the only things that have kept me here. There was always tomorrow that I would win that lucky lottery ticket, or inheritance from a long lost relative. A 16 year old me, fresh in the world of work, wanted to be an extraordinary business woman, with sharp suits and red heels. I lost her somehow along the way to false hope and promises that never seemed to materialise.
I say this openly in case anyone else out there needs to hear it and needs help the way I have needed it.
I lost my way. I lost sight of taking action. I lost sight of my purpose. The terrible waste of time is that I knew all along I was stuck and that I could get myself out but it was like quick sand, the harder I tried, the harder it became. The next book, the next course, the next webinar...I would be taught how to 'think' properly. There must be something wrong with me, I said to myself, there must be a reason the universe doesn't love me, doesn't give to me willingly. I've done magic before, why can't I do it now, why have I lost my power...?...
Now, here's the thing - I know I can work 'magic' when I put my mind to it. In my younger years there are many weird and wonderful things that happened to me when I let them happen to me. The difference was - and in my LOA rabbit hole I didn't recognise this - those things came to me because I tried. I put myself out there. I didn't sit with my wine waiting for magic. I WAS THE MAGIC. I moved nothing into something: probability.
Passing exams with great grades, I'm clever-ish but certainly no A* student, I worked for those results.
Buying my first car. I couldn't afford it but I hustled and somehow got the money within weeks.
I applied for a crappy job, expecting to work myself up the ranks, I was offered a more senior position from my interview, due to my sales(wo)manship. (slow lane, I know, but back then this is what I wanted)
Met the love of my life. I'd been on a dating website and okay kissed a few frogs, but I knew he was out there waiting for me. We are happily married with 2 children. His parents used to come into the shop I worked in. His best friend knows my best friend. Yet, if I had never have joined that dating site I might never have met him!
These events that, for some time, I put down to the LOA were actually, maybe, coincidence, but also down to ME, I was out there to be part of the coincidence in the first place.
If you're still with me, thank you.
Here's where I'm at...
Prior to reading this book which has been a massive game changer for me, I joined a franchise. I have opportunity to really grow the business but I have gone into massive (secret) debt for this as my husband would have said no, his slow lane mindset doesn't like debt.
The secret is swamping me. I'm scared for what it would do to our relationship but I have bought into an industry I believe will pay back my investment and then some (mortgage broker)
2 things
1) I feel like I am a cog in the wheel and not the wheel by buying into a franchise. Since reading the book I can't shake off this feeling, but it was the only way into this profitable industry that I could find. In the UK it's difficult to get into without a mentor, which I have in the franchise. I do have opportunity, as the business grows, to begin to trade under a brand name (not the franchise owners) and employ staff etc...that had always been my vision. I may sell, I may not, but I would employ staff / manager so that either way I have my freedom. I guess what I'm looking for is some reassurance that this is still a fast lane tactic. I can't take back my investment, I'm tied into it. It feels like a job masquerading as a business - I need all the support I can muster to turn it into a fastlane opportunity.
2) I'm a keen writer (if you didn't guess by this post!) and have had a novel burning up inside of me for some time that I can't not write. It's fiction based on fact so there's a time commitment in terms of studying the right facts etc...I'd love to travel and explore the destinations that are involved before writing. The time commitment involved takes me away from effort I could plough into my mortgage business. I will write this novel either way but....
I need to decide if I am going to try and write around my business or just go fully in on my business and then write (advice appreciated)
People, friends, thank you so much for reading and if you didn't make it this far, I'll say this to myself, this felt sooooo gooooood to get this all off my chest.
I feel free. Now I need to be actually free.
I'm rich in my heart if not yet in my bank balance.
One day soon! It's coming! I'm making it happen.
My boy wants to go to a ranch in Arizona, he's only 5 bless him but has fallen in love online with this ranch. We're more used to a week in Spain, if we're lucky. There's an island in the Bahamas I want to visit. Every year we put up the same measly fake Christmas tree because buying a fresh tree costs money. We shop at the budget supermarket but at least we can afford food, I want to shop at the posh supermarket and not give a damn about the bill. My daughter, my love and delight and my original reason for wanting a better life, I try to teach her that it's okay for women to work, it's okay to earn money, but my desperation to earn money sometimes makes me forget to sit and play while she still wants to play. All of a sudden she wants make up and clothes and I look up and I don't know where my baby girl has gone.
There's a big wide world out there and I'm going to sit with joyful tears in my eyes as I take my family to experience it. You will never meet a woman with more passion and purpose than this one here right now.
Thank you MJ. Thank you, from the deepest depths of my heart.
I see sunshine again.
Rebecca
I wanted to express my sincere thanks for this work and if I may offload my backstory, please oblige me.
From the age of sweet 16 I was once upon a time in the slow lane, steady job, steady pay cheque, steady life. There I stayed until after having my babies when I flung myself into providing the best possible life for them (meaning I needed serious money) and discovered entrepreneurship.
I knew that entrepreneurship was the path to freedom but it was hard, it was a struggle, it was long hours, it took me away from my family not toward them.
I fell head first down a law of attraction rabbit hole and got stuck, head buried in the sand of indoctrinated beliefs that I thought would serve me, help me provide this life of wealth and freedom that I promised my family from my heart.
I went from slowlane to sidewalk which I guess is the other way around for most people as described in the book, but not for me. The side of me that wanted MORE found it (or so I thought) on the sidewalk. Thank goodness for my slow lane husband - I say this with utmost respect and love for him - he has kept us afloat to pay the rent and for food while I lived in LaLa land in my mind.
For at least the past 3 years I have struggled so badly with depression, struggled with alcohol to escape my 'failure', and more than once have felt not deserving of being in this world. My children, my husband, and dare I say it - the Law of Attraction - are the only things that have kept me here. There was always tomorrow that I would win that lucky lottery ticket, or inheritance from a long lost relative. A 16 year old me, fresh in the world of work, wanted to be an extraordinary business woman, with sharp suits and red heels. I lost her somehow along the way to false hope and promises that never seemed to materialise.
I say this openly in case anyone else out there needs to hear it and needs help the way I have needed it.
I lost my way. I lost sight of taking action. I lost sight of my purpose. The terrible waste of time is that I knew all along I was stuck and that I could get myself out but it was like quick sand, the harder I tried, the harder it became. The next book, the next course, the next webinar...I would be taught how to 'think' properly. There must be something wrong with me, I said to myself, there must be a reason the universe doesn't love me, doesn't give to me willingly. I've done magic before, why can't I do it now, why have I lost my power...?...
Now, here's the thing - I know I can work 'magic' when I put my mind to it. In my younger years there are many weird and wonderful things that happened to me when I let them happen to me. The difference was - and in my LOA rabbit hole I didn't recognise this - those things came to me because I tried. I put myself out there. I didn't sit with my wine waiting for magic. I WAS THE MAGIC. I moved nothing into something: probability.
Passing exams with great grades, I'm clever-ish but certainly no A* student, I worked for those results.
Buying my first car. I couldn't afford it but I hustled and somehow got the money within weeks.
I applied for a crappy job, expecting to work myself up the ranks, I was offered a more senior position from my interview, due to my sales(wo)manship. (slow lane, I know, but back then this is what I wanted)
Met the love of my life. I'd been on a dating website and okay kissed a few frogs, but I knew he was out there waiting for me. We are happily married with 2 children. His parents used to come into the shop I worked in. His best friend knows my best friend. Yet, if I had never have joined that dating site I might never have met him!
These events that, for some time, I put down to the LOA were actually, maybe, coincidence, but also down to ME, I was out there to be part of the coincidence in the first place.
If you're still with me, thank you.
Here's where I'm at...
Prior to reading this book which has been a massive game changer for me, I joined a franchise. I have opportunity to really grow the business but I have gone into massive (secret) debt for this as my husband would have said no, his slow lane mindset doesn't like debt.
The secret is swamping me. I'm scared for what it would do to our relationship but I have bought into an industry I believe will pay back my investment and then some (mortgage broker)
2 things
1) I feel like I am a cog in the wheel and not the wheel by buying into a franchise. Since reading the book I can't shake off this feeling, but it was the only way into this profitable industry that I could find. In the UK it's difficult to get into without a mentor, which I have in the franchise. I do have opportunity, as the business grows, to begin to trade under a brand name (not the franchise owners) and employ staff etc...that had always been my vision. I may sell, I may not, but I would employ staff / manager so that either way I have my freedom. I guess what I'm looking for is some reassurance that this is still a fast lane tactic. I can't take back my investment, I'm tied into it. It feels like a job masquerading as a business - I need all the support I can muster to turn it into a fastlane opportunity.
2) I'm a keen writer (if you didn't guess by this post!) and have had a novel burning up inside of me for some time that I can't not write. It's fiction based on fact so there's a time commitment in terms of studying the right facts etc...I'd love to travel and explore the destinations that are involved before writing. The time commitment involved takes me away from effort I could plough into my mortgage business. I will write this novel either way but....
I need to decide if I am going to try and write around my business or just go fully in on my business and then write (advice appreciated)
People, friends, thank you so much for reading and if you didn't make it this far, I'll say this to myself, this felt sooooo gooooood to get this all off my chest.
I feel free. Now I need to be actually free.
I'm rich in my heart if not yet in my bank balance.
One day soon! It's coming! I'm making it happen.
My boy wants to go to a ranch in Arizona, he's only 5 bless him but has fallen in love online with this ranch. We're more used to a week in Spain, if we're lucky. There's an island in the Bahamas I want to visit. Every year we put up the same measly fake Christmas tree because buying a fresh tree costs money. We shop at the budget supermarket but at least we can afford food, I want to shop at the posh supermarket and not give a damn about the bill. My daughter, my love and delight and my original reason for wanting a better life, I try to teach her that it's okay for women to work, it's okay to earn money, but my desperation to earn money sometimes makes me forget to sit and play while she still wants to play. All of a sudden she wants make up and clothes and I look up and I don't know where my baby girl has gone.
There's a big wide world out there and I'm going to sit with joyful tears in my eyes as I take my family to experience it. You will never meet a woman with more passion and purpose than this one here right now.
Thank you MJ. Thank you, from the deepest depths of my heart.
I see sunshine again.
Rebecca
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