Feedback For an Up and Coming Website Copywriter

[Fnesse]

QUESTIONS:
1. How can this be done better? ( I think it's too boring, no real focus )
2. Things I did RIGHT/WRONG? ( I'm kinda pleased with how it looks/spaceing but message is trash/not worded properly/no actual message )
3. The ONE thing that helped you the most starting your copywriting journey? ( Like a focus or a "North Star" )
Any Wisdom would be MUCH APPRECIATED!!

CONTEXT:
This is just a quick post for feedback helping a rookie fastlaner cross the desert of desertion.
I finally broke the mental barrier.
Finally did some action.
I know im trash right now,
but I know i won't be trash in my 10th attempt.

GOAL:
I Want to improve as fast and as much as possible,
So instead of reading
why not ask those who have already done what I want to do and get better knowledge?

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR TIME!!
THIS ROOKIE REALLY APPRECIATES YOUR HELP!

 

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[hi5]

I took a look. You got spelling errors and some weird phrasing which you should fix.
The order of info is a little strange. You offer website copy writing and then later offer to build websites?
Maybe it is my screen but I see different fonts.
Lastly, you keep saying copywriting can do a lot for people but how? The how is missing (your current how seems more for being online rather than the effects from copywriting).

Keep working on it and don't give up.

 

[Speed112]

On top of what hi5 has said, which is all very pertinent...

You're right that it is lacking focus. You've got multiple different calls to action and a messaging that leads to none of them. What it appears you're trying to do is get in touch with potential businesses in need of a website makeover or creation even. You can get better results by tailoring your CTA to that. Suggesting a chat or call or scheduling or other active verbs.

Active verbs are very powerful. Use them.

Good job for breaking the mental barrier and taking the first steps. Don't be discouraged as you're on the right track.

The way I've improved my skills when first starting off was going through some of the best sales letters and ads through history and writing them out by hand. This gave me time to really think about them and study them and figure out their common component elements. Good copywriting is about using those same elements in ways that resonate best with your particular audience.

So you've first got to understand what makes good copy good.

Nowadays, for me it's a lot more about empathizing first and understanding the pain and emotional distress the target audience goes through, the language they use, and how I can best help with them. Then it's a matter of translating what comes up in an easy to understand and interesting to read way. That only comes with practice.

Another few things to notice on your copy: your pronouns are inconsistent. Sometimes you say I and other times you say we but... you don't establish who either of those "characters" are, what their roles in the "story" are, and why they're qualified to take a look at anything and give their opinion.

Any sales journey has to satisfy these few things:
• Grab the reader's attention;
• Bolster their interest;
• Tickle their wound;
• Frame you as the solution;
• Make an offer they'd be silly to refuse.

While accomplishing these it's important to establish yourself as a unique solution with real authority and/or results in solving their problem.

I'd say the copy you've got so far falls a bit flat in all of these areas. Keep building, though. We're all growing one word at a time.

And one final tip, which is something that many people gloss over which is very important...

Read your copy out loud.

Just listen to yourself and hear how it sounds. How it feels. Does it elicit anything in you? Does it push you to act? Is it inspiring, encouraging, informational... valuable?

If you answer no to these questions, then you're missing those elements that make copywriting one of the highest paid skills on the planet. That's what you need to learn.

And if you need help learning these, @Lex DeVille has a wonderful thread on Copywriting that should get you practicing your skills, for money, in less than a month. I've gone through it a couple of times and I had used the same techniques he's teaching for many years working as a freelance copywriter to achieve my Freedom. It took me over 6 months to learn them on my own. There you have them laid out for you to learn in 15 days.

You can do it if you persevere.

Success!
Speed