If he's not willing to change his ways, you can't really help it. Ever heard of the movie Like Stars On Earth? It's an Indian movie. The way you described your dad, he reminds me a bit of the father in that movie.
I think the main issue here is that you have a strained relationship with your father. I know many people who are very distant from their parents, and I can feel their pain. You have to understand it's not your fault, and there isn't something inheritantly wrong with you that makes him distant. It's his shortcomings that are leading to the strained relationship. A parent should always try to be close with their child.
All you can do, as hard as it is, is be yourself, and do your own thing. Don't seek his approval, because you probably won't get it and just cause yourself more grief. You might have to distance yourself, but don't be rude or unnecessarily cold. Be welcoming to any attempts he makes to be friendly with you, but just don't expect all sunshine and rainbows yet.
There' a a story about a father with three kids on a subway. The kids are making a ton of noise, and the father isn't stopping them. A fellow passenger get's annoyed and tells the father: "could you make your kids behave? There's other people on this train too!"
The father replied, "I'm sorry, we're just coming back from their mothers funeral. I didn't want to be strict with them right now."
The moral is to never really know what someone else is going through.
I think the main issue here is that you have a strained relationship with your father. I know many people who are very distant from their parents, and I can feel their pain. You have to understand it's not your fault, and there isn't something inheritantly wrong with you that makes him distant. It's his shortcomings that are leading to the strained relationship. A parent should always try to be close with their child.
All you can do, as hard as it is, is be yourself, and do your own thing. Don't seek his approval, because you probably won't get it and just cause yourself more grief. You might have to distance yourself, but don't be rude or unnecessarily cold. Be welcoming to any attempts he makes to be friendly with you, but just don't expect all sunshine and rainbows yet.
There' a a story about a father with three kids on a subway. The kids are making a ton of noise, and the father isn't stopping them. A fellow passenger get's annoyed and tells the father: "could you make your kids behave? There's other people on this train too!"
The father replied, "I'm sorry, we're just coming back from their mothers funeral. I didn't want to be strict with them right now."
The moral is to never really know what someone else is going through.
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