The Entrepreneur Forum | Startups | Entrepreneurship | Starting a Business | Motivation | Success

Gigiohio

New Contributor
Jul 8, 2019
4
2
11
So I live in a small town in Ohio(Mariemount) population 3,400 people , I have a boss that won’t allow me to post reviews on businesses doctors, lawyers....etc.... I’ve also been made to do things that I’m not proud of or even like to do I have been made to cover up the truth and many other things that go against everything I believe in I have proof of all of the things I have been made to do but...... I’m also afraid of what may or may not happen to me and or my family if I do something to prove all that I have endured with this company...... I’ve had guns pointed at my face by the owner been made to Falsify documents with other people’s names and been made to hide files and documents and I’m kept in the shadows in the dark I’ve been publicly humiliated and made to do and say things their way I have been with this company for 12+ years and feel as if I’m trapped in this place and no where to go see I have no degree didn’t graduate because I was discriminated against for my sexuality.... I have nobody aside from my family and they all know and have seen me go through all of this but what do I do? Where do I go from here? This person I work for is wicked!!! And so is the person they are dating..... they are constantly spying on us night shift workers trying to find something out to use against us and I’m so sick of it that I’m beginning to think my only way out is......... well you know the only way out of a situation where someone treats you this badly please someone give me some decent advice and help me figure out what to do in Ohio...... their laws are odd for employment!!! I just need to walk away but can’t afford to without full time..
 
Last edited:

Become a Fastlane INSIDER to view the forum ad free.

kelvinfernandezm

Some Profound Quote Goes Here
FASTLANE INSIDER
Read Millionaire Fastlane
I've Read UNSCRIPTED
Jan 26, 2016
286
507
258
27
Fort Worth, Texas
Are you working for the mob or something?

Sell all your stuff and move. Than sue them or not if you're so scared. Just leave.

This almost sounds like you are trolling.
 

Ninjakid

Platinum Contributor
Speedway Pass
Jun 23, 2014
1,756
3,687
891
Canadianadanada
If this person is threatening you then you need to go the police. Honestly, I find it very strange that you’ve endured this situation for 12+ years and are asking Internet strangers about how to find a different job, as if that’s the main issue here.
 
OP
OP

Gigiohio

New Contributor
Jul 8, 2019
4
2
11
Are you working for the mob or something?

Sell all your stuff and move. Than sue them or not if you're so scared. Just leave.

This almost sounds like you are trolling.
no not trolling just legitimately looking for people possibly going through the same thing as me I’m sorry if I offended anyone wasn’t my intention I am just really needing advice about what to do I know that the boss has blackballed/blacklisted people from working on the area it’s a very odd situation
 
Last edited:
OP
OP

Gigiohio

New Contributor
Jul 8, 2019
4
2
11
If this person is threatening you then you need to go the police. Honestly, I find it very strange that you’ve endured this situation for 12+ years and are asking Internet strangers about how to find a different job, as if that’s the main issue here.
Not asking how to find a job..... just wondering if it’s just me or if there are other people going through the same things as me.... or are in a odd situation of their own and how they may or may not have dealt with their issues with their boss interfering in their personal lives and just being so invading...
 

Ninjakid

Platinum Contributor
Speedway Pass
Jun 23, 2014
1,756
3,687
891
Canadianadanada
Not asking how to find a job..... just wondering if it’s just me or if there are other people going through the same things as me.... or are in a odd situation of their own and how they may or may not have dealt with their issues with their boss interfering in their personal lives and just being so invading...
You don't seem to understand your situation. What you describe is actually criminal.
 

Bekit

Gold Contributor
FASTLANE INSIDER
Read Millionaire Fastlane
Speedway Pass
Aug 13, 2018
299
1,311
404
So I live in a small town in Ohio(Mariemount) population 3,400 people , I have a boss that won’t allow me to post reviews on businesses doctors, lawyers....etc.... I’ve also been made to do things that I’m not proud of or even like to do I have been made to cover up the truth and many other things that go against everything I believe in I have proof of all of the things I have been made to do but...... I’m also afraid of what may or may not happen to me and or my family if I do something to prove all that I have endured with this company...... I’ve had guns pointed at my face by the owner been made to Falsify documents with other people’s names and been made to hide files and documents and I’m kept in the shadows in the dark I’ve been publicly humiliated and made to do and say things their way I have been with this company for 12+ years and feel as if I’m trapped in this place and no where to go see I have no degree didn’t graduate because I was discriminated against for my sexuality.... I have nobody aside from my family and they all know and have seen me go through all of this but what do I do? Where do I go from here? This person I work for is wicked!!! And so is the person they are dating..... they are constantly spying on us night shift workers trying to find something out to use against us and I’m so sick of it that I’m beginning to think my only way out is......... well you know the only way out of a situation where someone treats you this badly please someone give me some decent advice and help me figure out what to do in Ohio...... their laws are odd for employment!!! I just need to walk away but can’t afford to without full time..
I'm really sorry for what you're going through.

This boss is controlling you through fear and manipulation. Their behavior is totally inappropriate and criminal.

Now they are using the threat of blackmail to get you to keep quiet and go along with everything. You're afraid for your own safety because your own actions could land you in a lot of trouble.

You're also in a small town where they would conceivably be able to get away with blackening your name and coming off as totally innocent.

You may also be afraid that if you blow the whistle, the boss's manipulation skills are good enough that no one will listen to you. It's possible that the police, judges, and courts are just as corrupt as the boss.

You probably feel trapped in an existence where there's no happy ending. So you stay.

But the longer you stay, the more distress this causes you. The more your soul withers. The more your conscience yells at you. The more you feel pulled in two different directions.

Your own moral compass has been trampled on every day - for 12 years - and you are sick and tired of it.

It sounds like you want out. So I'm glad you reached out. You're looking for answers. You're looking for solutions. And there are options available to you.

I went through something similar to this with two separate bosses, although it was on a MUCH smaller scale and I didn't stay as long.

With the second situation, I saw how things were lining up exactly the same way as the first one, and I quit after only a month. But the boss dude was so skillful that I firmly believe that if I had stayed even one more week, I would not have been able to choose to quit.

So I could have easily found myself in your exact same shoes - where 12 years later, I'm finally looking for a way out.

So what would I do if I were in your shoes? 3 big things...

Part 1 - Mindset
First, let's explore some preliminary mindset work before looking at solutions and options.
  1. Start by realizing that your current mindset is filtering out some solutions from appearing to you. Solutions are there, but you don't realize it. In a way, this boss has blinded you from seeing the options that were available. If you saw them, you would have quit a long time ago. But you didn't see them. And this was strategic on the boss's part. They are skillful at blinding people and keeping a constant supply of justifications why you should stay and why you can't leave.
  2. Also realize that MANY other employees in your workplace are likely to be equally suffering, but THEY are also kept in fear and silence by the same skillful manipulation. They also don't see a way to get away. So you will probably have the silent support of people inside the company (at least the ones who have a moral compass like you). Of course, some people will have been hired precisely because they are loyal to the evil behavior of the boss. You probably already know the difference. You probably also know that you need to be careful about who you talk to so that somebody doesn't betray you while you're getting your exit plan in place.
  3. Look up the characteristics of a psychopath so that you will have a clear idea of who you are dealing with and what their behavior is likely to be when you make your move. It's not that you don't already know this boss - it's that for a NON-psychopath like you, it's hard to fathom just how cruel and calculating and cold they can be. Realizing that this boss is part of a common pattern will help you, because your mind will be protesting, "How can somebody possibly be this evil?" and you'll be at risk of not adequately preparing. We all project our own thoughts and feelings onto others. We assume that they would behave like WE would behave. A psychopath will not do this. Here's a sample article detailing the 20-part test that identifies whether someone is a psychopath. I also recommend the book The Psychopath Test by Jon Ronson, as well as the YouTube channel Surviving Narcissism.
  4. Realize that it's normal for you to feel fear in this situation. Any normal person would be looking over their shoulder and nervous after being conditioned for as long as you have.
  5. Realize that in a way, your situation is similar to that of a woman in an abusive relationship. You are in an abusive relationship. This boss's behavior is bullying, cruel, calculated, manipulative, and harmful to you and others. It's good and right for you to leave as soon as possible. YOUR head is screwed on straight for you to be like, "There's something wrong with this and I don't like it." You are right. This boss is wrong. You have been right all along.
  6. Expect the recovery process to take a while once you finally get away. It's going to be kind of like recovering from PTSD. You're likely to constantly catch yourself being amazed at how other businesses DON'T operate like this. You've suffered damage, and it's normal if it takes a while to get back to a healthy, sustainable way of operating. Be kind to yourself in this process. Be patient with yourself. You wouldn't expect a person with a broken leg to run a race. Give yourself time.
  7. This is an important one: You said,
I have no degree didn’t graduate because I was discriminated against for my sexuality....
Super important: Don't let any part of this hold you back. You've got a limiting belief in place here. Don't allow the story in your head to sound like, "I can't because... no degree / my sexuality / discrimination / ___ [fill in the blank]." Change the statement in your head. Eliminate "I can't" from your vocabulary. Acknowledge the challenge and then say, "This is solvable, but there's an obstacle. Given these circumstances, HOW CAN I do xyz?"

I put this last because I see it as the most important. You will need an enormous escape velocity to get out of your current circumstance. You're going to need ROCKET FUEL to get yourself into a new situation. If it was easy, you would have done it last year, or 5 years ago, or in year 1. YOU'VE HATED THIS FOR YEARS. But to get away, 90% of the game is going to be mindset. You cannot afford to have any limiting beliefs right now.

Limiting beliefs keep you hesitant. They keep you teetering on the verge of decision. They keep you going with the flow. They keep you in fear. Breaking out of your limiting beliefs is going to be one of the biggest parts of the battle.

This is a limiting belief right here. And it has got to go.

The world is different now. It's not the same. It's easier to get ahead without a degree. More and more people are ditching college. More and more employers are dropping the degree requirement, because it doesn't mean anything anyway. There's less and less discrimination about sexuality.

So rise up. Square your shoulders. Lift your chin.

Say to yourself, "I am smart. I am capable. I am worthy of better treatment than this. I am worthy of finding a job that I can enjoy, that I can be proud of, and that will lead me to higher and better things. I am worthy of thriving. I am worthy of flourishing. I am worthy of having peace of mind."

And then go with all the confidence and optimism that you can muster, plus all that you can fake. Shake hands firmly. Look people in the eye when you're looking for a new position. Get a smile down deep in your soul because you KNOW you're going to make it. Somehow, some way, you're going to break through the walls that this employer has put around you, and you're going to be free.

Part 2 - Questions
OK, now let's walk through a few questions that will hopefully narrow down which solutions/options will be right for you. Just think through these (and any follow-up questions that arise in your head from pursuing this line of thought) and then look at part 3 in light of which options seem to be the most likely exit strategies.
  • What are your monthly expenses? What's your baseline salary that you need to line up?
  • You said you have a family. Who are you responsible to provide for? Is there anyone else in the picture (a spouse / partner) who is able to pitch in with you?
  • If you have a partner, are they supportive of you? Their support will be a huge part of your success.
  • Do you have ties to the area? Are you willing to break those ties in order to get free? Are there any reasons why you wouldn't be able to break those ties? Can you overcome those reasons?
  • What resources do you have? Tally up your assets. Do you have a vehicle? A cushion of savings? Stuff around the house that you could sell? Can you quietly start selling everything that you can turn into cash?
  • What are your skills? Can your current job skill be easily transferred to another company?
  • Where is the lowest-hanging fruit for you to secure other employment? Is it in your current line of work, but in a different city or state? Is it in a different line of work but in the same community?
  • Have you looked "outside the box" for employment options?
  • Are there any physical limitations (chronic illness, low energy levels, etc) that would prevent you from getting any particular type of job?
  • What would be the worst thing that could happen if you quit today and moved across the country tomorrow?
  • What would be the best thing that could happen if you quit today and moved across the country tomorrow?
  • What would be the worst thing that could happen if you stay in your current job?
  • What would be the best thing that could happen if you stay in your current job?

Part 3 - Options and Ideas
OK, now a few options that I see. Please know that all this comes from a heart of compassion and wanting you to be well. But since I don't know the answer to the above questions, I don't know which ones of these will be useful to you. I'm just throwing these things out there from the perspective of an outside observer who can potentially see some options that you can't see.

  • I would google Whistleblower programs and see what kinds of protection they can offer. There are ways to stay anonymous for stuff like this.
  • There is a huge shortage of tradespeople in the US right now. You could probably learn a trade like welder, electrician, or plumber, make a GREAT living for the rest of your life, and even work for yourself if you want to. In some cases, employers are so desperate that they'll even pay you to get the training.
  • One option for you is to just walk out the door on Friday without telling anyone of your intentions. Load up a Uhaul truck and move to a different part of the country on Saturday. Change your phone number if necessary. You just walk away and leave it all behind. Move on with your life. Don't worry about the other people. Just leave.
  • Take a drive. Go to all the industrial complexes and business districts in Cincinnati. Write down all the names of the businesses you pass. Go home and google all the companies that you might want to work for. Look at their "careers" page. Many companies will post job openings on their internal careers page before they go to job boards like indeed.com or craigslist. So you can often find more openings this way. (Or maybe you do this after you move?)
  • Google headhunters and recruiting agencies. Start working with somebody who can start helping you to find a new placement in a new job.
  • Sell stuff if you're short on cash. Strip yourself down to the bare essentials. All that stuff is replaceable. Your mental health is not replaceable. Have a yard sale or two. List stuff on craigslist. I mean, even if you walked away from it all with the clothes on your back, it would be preferable to be stuck in your current misery. Imagine if your house burned down. You'd still survive. You'd still make it. You'd still build your supplies back up for what you need to live. Think of this as a controlled option that you're choosing. You don't have to lose family photographs or sentimental items. But you can get rid of furniture, electronics, and other household items. That way you can just drive away when you move. Wherever you end up, you can cheaply set yourself up again by buying at yard sales etc. This is the summer when yard sales are happening. I furnished my entire house for $120 through yard sale shopping. That included a dining room table & chairs, a futon, a loveseat, a kitchen island, a piano, and a bunch more odds and ends. This can be done.
  • You have a choice as to whether you will concern yourself with suing the boss or seeing justice served. This choice is up to you. It is inevitable that the boss will answer for his actions sooner or later. It doesn't have to be you. Of course, if you WANT to participate with the justice system, that's fine. But don't feel the need to have a personal hand in it. Right now, you just need to get away.
  • Here's a Cincinnati Business Directory. And here's one from Mariemont. Check out the categories you're interested in, go to their web pages, and look at their job postings. If you work the night shift, that's awesome. It means you can interview for positions during the day without anyone knowing you went missing.

There is a way out of this.

You're going to be ok.

You're going to recover.

Keep us posted. I want to hear how this goes.
 
Last edited:

FierceRacoon

Contributor
Jun 1, 2019
62
86
105
selfimprovementmindset.com
(1) If needed, call 911.

(2) Don't make a rushed decision.

(3) If you decide to go to police and complain, DON'T come back to the workplace after that. Ever. There are no protective orders for the workplace. In the meantime, don't make any indication that you are unhappy.
If you do go to police, say, "My employer is threatening me with a weapon and I am afraid for my safety and the safety of my family. Do you have a victim assistance program?"
There are government-supported shelters whereas you and your family would be moved to an anonymous location and provided food, shelter, and some assistance with job search. It is not about justice, it is about getting out of the situation, if it is that serious.

In theory, you could try to contact e.g. OSHA regarding workplace violence (1-800-321-OSHA (6742)), BUT (!!!) they may not be as sophisticated as the domestic abuse hotline (1−800−799−7233), and the last thing you want is OSHA contacting your employer, even though retaliation is theoretically illegal.

(4) Before or after, consider getting counseling. I don't know about workplace abuse, but read up on relationship abuse, e.g. "Why does he do that?" by Lundy Bancroft. (Don't read it while at work!)

(5) You may discover newfound confidence and feel that you need to stand for yourself and others. DON'T, at least not for now. That's how people get killed (See "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin de Becker).

(6) Write all facts down and document everything you can, but take every precaution not to get caught doing so. The reason for documenting things is to protect yourself in the future. That is still important in the U.S. (Outrage in Russia as abused teen sisters charged with killing father)

(7) If the issue is not as serious and you feel you can just quit, consider that. You can always contact the FBI or the Department of Labor later, particularly if you have accumulated evidence.

Regarding replacing income, it requires more information. I know that immigrants who don't speak the language often make it somehow, by delivering pizza, tailoring clothing, teaching their native language, etc.etc. Websites such as cragslist and upwork can be helpful with freelance work and gigs of different kinds. Not saying it is an amazing option, but still something to consider.

There are entry-level jobs at large retail chains, e.g. selling clothing and fast-food. If you found a job at H&M or Mc'Donalds in a nearby town, it may be enough to get by while you figure out your next steps.
Remember that stress affects your ability to learn, so with less stress you will learn new things faster and will eventually become more employable.
 

ChrisV

Gold Contributor
Read Millionaire Fastlane
I've Read UNSCRIPTED
Speedway Pass
May 10, 2015
1,509
2,499
567
33
Islands of Calleja
I had this one Armenian dude who was like one level superior to me a whileeee ago who tried to flirt with all the girls in the office. Like they would come back to me saying he would call them in his office and subtly try to play footsies with them (lmao)... problem was.. all those girls would ignore him and pay attention to me. So needless to say, he had it out for me. He would move my desk to another section away from the girls (saying I was disruptive), but then all other the girls there did the same thing lol. He finally went through my email and found an email between me and one original girls I actually used to have a little thing with. He told her "I don't want you talking to him" and said we were using company email for nefarious purposes. Corporate politics is so F*cking hilarious.

Edit: oh i misunderstood the purpose of this thread. I thought it was a thread talking about the bad bosses we've had over the years lol
 
Last edited:

Become a Fastlane INSIDER to view the forum ad free.

G-Man

Legendary Contributor
EPIC CONTRIBUTOR
FASTLANE INSIDER
Read Millionaire Fastlane
I've Read UNSCRIPTED
Speedway Pass
Jan 13, 2014
1,763
9,497
2,186
You are most likely a victim of what is called gaslighting. I too once had a crazy a$$ boss. He tried to threaten me that he was gonna frame me for money he stole from the company and I would do prison time, etc, etc. Because of where I was in my life, it stressed me out immensely. The truth is that he was just a pill popping retard that had to bully people, because he was too lazy to do any actual work.

There is no John Gotti in a town of 4k ppl in the midwest. Here's the reality: This boss/owner that bullies you is such a loser that he has to bully his employees to feel validated. I know that once you've let someone bully you for a long time, they start to loom larger in your mind than they are in reality.

RE: the gun pointing thing: If this actually took place I don't know why we're talking about job quitting. Gun pointing = Police called. That's it. No further analysis needed.
 
OP
OP

Gigiohio

New Contributor
Jul 8, 2019
4
2
11
@Bekit Thank you for this I’m keeping it in mind and I do have certain reserves and a trust but my family some are old and not able to move and some just won’t I know that they will all be fine without me here in this crappy place but I don’t know how they will be treated or if they will be harassed by my employer. Your advice was great helpful and very kind! I appreciate your words more than you will ever know thank you!
 
Last edited:

Bekit

Gold Contributor
FASTLANE INSIDER
Read Millionaire Fastlane
Speedway Pass
Aug 13, 2018
299
1,311
404
@Bekit Thank you for this I’m keeping it in mind and I do have certain reserves and a trust but my family some are old and not able to move and some just won’t I know that they will all be fine without me here in this crappy place but I don’t know how they will be treated or if they will be harassed by my employer. Your advice was great helpful and very kind! I appreciate your words more than you will ever know thank you!
Glad it was helpful to you.

I know you're in a low place, so it's worth saying...

You matter.

You are important to people.

You are valuable.

Don't ever forget that.

So what are you thinking you're going to do about the job?

By the way, the fact that you've been conditioned for so long by this boss is a factor that makes it more likely for you to land in another spot with a similarly bad situation.

What you went through is NOT NORMAL. But because you endured it for so long, it has a certain normalcy for you. So you'll be more likely to tolerate it. This has a way of making you attractive to the next psychopath.

This thread might be helpful for you to detect people like this before you get in too deep with them.

I'd like to think that I'm done with bad bosses and manipulators. After the two experiences I went through, I have a much keener radar for that kind of thing. But I also recognize that I'm vulnerable, and it's almost like psychopaths can smell it. So I don't let my guard down.

Oh, by the way, if you move, your family is going to be ok. It's highly unlikely that your boss is going to harass them. The fact is, the boss does not care about you. As soon as you're out of their life, they will probably forget about you.

Just in case, though, I would make it very hard for them to contact you or find you.

Keep your chin up. You've got this!
 

Create an account or login to comment

You must be a member in order to leave a comment

Create account

Create an account on our community. It's easy!

Log in

Already have an account? Log in here.

Post New Topic

Please SEARCH before posting.
Please select the BEST category.

Post new topic

Fastlane Insiders

View the forum AD FREE.
Private, unindexed content
Detailed process/execution threads
Monthly conference calls with doers
Ideas needing execution, more!

Join Fastlane Insiders.

Top Bottom