MJ says, “The fabric of your life is sewn by the cumulative consequences of your choices – millions of them – that you set into motion. You act, react, believe, disbelieve, perceive, misperceive, and all of it engineers your existence. If you’re dissatisfied with life, your choices take full responsibility. Blame yourself and the choices you’ve made. Yes, you are as you have chosen.” (DeMarco, 156)
This brought be back to something I remember reading about in the beginning of the book… the chapter about sidewalker mentality. What do almost all sidewalkers have in common? They almost all seek to blame other people for the predicament they themselves ultimately got themselves in! They don’t take much, (if any) responsibility for their actions, and instead look for various reasons to blame their “badluck” or “misfortune” on others. They play the role of a victim. However, “The Law of Victims” says that, “You can’t be a victim if you don’t relinquish power to someone capable of making you a victim. Victims are sidewalkers who refuse to take the drivers seat of their own lives and live under a dark cloud of ‘theys’ reflective of a ‘me against them attitude:’
“They laid me off”
“They changed the terms”
“They cheated me”
“They didn’t tell me”
“They raised my rent”
Invariably all these ‘theys’ are self-imposed. If the landlord raised your rent, is it his fault you decided to live their and you didn’t read the lease agreement? If the company laid you off, is it their fault that you chose to work there? Was it my fault that I was a broke 26 year old stuck in a blizzard in a limo on the side of the road? It was.” (DeMarco, 56)
*Flashforward again to page 156*
“It took me 26 years of my life and a blizzard to grasp the horsepower of my choices. The blizzard impeded my limousine, but I was there because I chose it. I chose to get the job. I chose to pursue a low-rent business. I chose to continue life in Chicago. I chose to avoid corporate after collage. I chose my friends. I chose my business pursuits. I chose all of it, and it engineered my life to that exact moment. I was the driver of my life and my problems were the consequences of my choices. I steered myself there!” (DeMarco, 156)
I hope this realization has “woken up” everyone else as much as it has myself. I’ve definitely been guilty of pointing the blame at other people or circumstances which I felt were “out of my control” when things didn’t go the way I wanted, or in fact when things went completely against me. However it’s SO important to remember that YOU and only YOU are the one responsible for the outcome of YOUR actions. I’m 24 and have a whopping $34 in my savings account with nobody else to blame but myself. I made some poor finanfical decisions, and I take full responsibility. I’m definitely not happy with that number in my account, therefore I’m making plans and slowly, (but surely) taking ACTION now to change it. And if you’re not happy with the way something is going in your life, (whether it also be a money issue, job issue, relationship issue, etc) Get off your unhappy butt and actually DO SOMETHING about it! The only way things are going to change and get better, is if YOU CHANGE THEM. That is all!
- Sarah
This brought be back to something I remember reading about in the beginning of the book… the chapter about sidewalker mentality. What do almost all sidewalkers have in common? They almost all seek to blame other people for the predicament they themselves ultimately got themselves in! They don’t take much, (if any) responsibility for their actions, and instead look for various reasons to blame their “badluck” or “misfortune” on others. They play the role of a victim. However, “The Law of Victims” says that, “You can’t be a victim if you don’t relinquish power to someone capable of making you a victim. Victims are sidewalkers who refuse to take the drivers seat of their own lives and live under a dark cloud of ‘theys’ reflective of a ‘me against them attitude:’
“They laid me off”
“They changed the terms”
“They cheated me”
“They didn’t tell me”
“They raised my rent”
Invariably all these ‘theys’ are self-imposed. If the landlord raised your rent, is it his fault you decided to live their and you didn’t read the lease agreement? If the company laid you off, is it their fault that you chose to work there? Was it my fault that I was a broke 26 year old stuck in a blizzard in a limo on the side of the road? It was.” (DeMarco, 56)
*Flashforward again to page 156*
“It took me 26 years of my life and a blizzard to grasp the horsepower of my choices. The blizzard impeded my limousine, but I was there because I chose it. I chose to get the job. I chose to pursue a low-rent business. I chose to continue life in Chicago. I chose to avoid corporate after collage. I chose my friends. I chose my business pursuits. I chose all of it, and it engineered my life to that exact moment. I was the driver of my life and my problems were the consequences of my choices. I steered myself there!” (DeMarco, 156)
I hope this realization has “woken up” everyone else as much as it has myself. I’ve definitely been guilty of pointing the blame at other people or circumstances which I felt were “out of my control” when things didn’t go the way I wanted, or in fact when things went completely against me. However it’s SO important to remember that YOU and only YOU are the one responsible for the outcome of YOUR actions. I’m 24 and have a whopping $34 in my savings account with nobody else to blame but myself. I made some poor finanfical decisions, and I take full responsibility. I’m definitely not happy with that number in my account, therefore I’m making plans and slowly, (but surely) taking ACTION now to change it. And if you’re not happy with the way something is going in your life, (whether it also be a money issue, job issue, relationship issue, etc) Get off your unhappy butt and actually DO SOMETHING about it! The only way things are going to change and get better, is if YOU CHANGE THEM. That is all!
- Sarah
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