The Finality Of Life

[Vigilante]

I figured maybe if I just ignored it, it wouldn't be real. Maybe if I just detached a bit, I could let this storm pass me by. Every day a little more sand passes through the hour glass.

My mentor has just a few more months to live. Think about that. Maybe 60 days. Maybe more, maybe less. Game over.

People come and go in life, seemingly in chapters. This chapter with him has been the past two decades.

And, as much as he would kick my a$$ for any mushy sentiments beyond the sentiments I shared with him this morning, I am going to encapsulate for you a short list of the things he taught me that will continue to stay with me when he is gone.

1. Sometimes it's not about profit
2. There's a handful of people in your life worth protecting. Protect them.
3. Work hard. Expect more.
4. Count the pennies, as the pennies add up into real money.
5. Live generously
6. Build
7. Cut costs
8. Cut costs again
9. Family
10. Make shit happen

I watched him work for 2 years without taking a dime's profit personally, so he could put his deceased business partner's children through college. Literally work 60 hours per week to provide for someone else's kids.

Life is short. In a few months, he will be gone. I will have nobody left to call.

I see so many people here working some dead end, shit job that they hate. Spending life as the sand pours through the hour glass. I have personally wasted too many days.

Life has an end date.

He wishes today he had spent more time with his kids and grandkids. He's out of time. The sand has just about run out, and it is already slowed to a trickle for him. And for me, with him.

No more wasting time for me. I am going to measure every day. I am going to leave something that lasts. I am going to spend the rest of my days with people worth protecting, and building things that make a difference.

Please. Measure your days. Make sure when the sand runs out for you, that you have done everything you could do.

Here's to my friend and my mentor. Life is short.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Allen]

Great post!

We all have to face our fears. When I faced mine, I realized that my biggest fear was that when I died, the general response would be "who?"

I went to the funeral of a local fireman who was well-known in our community. Not only for his first responder career, but also for his value-driven life that including donating his time to coach kids and serve the community. The visitation line was out the door and around the corner of the funeral home.

In contrast, I attended the wake of my grandfather when I was 12 years old. At the funeral home, they had a service in the next room for another man who had also passed away. During the two-day wake event, I noticed that no one had come in to pay their respects or sign the register. I didn't know who he was or what his life was about but I remember thinking how sad it was that no one showed up. I remember signing the register and thinking how sad it would be if the same thing happened to me.

I'm not saying that the Fastlane lifestyle will make you a popular "dead guy". I just want to do something that helps a lot of people and to be remembered for something besides breathing air.

 

[Bigguns50]

bump


This is a great thread to remind us of our most precious asset .... of the End we all will meet....and how to truly live.

My Mother passed away 2 days ago. I was very, very close to her and we had a wonderful relationship.

A little about Mom....

My Father died when I was 9 and she raised me alone. She never re-married. She was the least selfish person I knew.

She was strong, kind, and had a great sense of humor. Laughter was always in our home. All my friends in High School would tell me my Mom's "so cool". She lived a simple life. Family....that was always her focus. She had lots of friends (sadly she outlived them all...and all her siblings). She paid cash for everything and was very frugal. She always had what she needed. She never had a desire to travel. A simple life is what she preferred.

--------------------

She was 89. She suffered from Alzheimer's for about 5 years. She was not to the point of not remembering us (family), but when I would visit in the morning, she would forget I was there by the afternoon. As time went on, more and more of my Mom's personality was lost.

While in the nursing home (which was wonderful.... she was happy), she was working on her Word Puzzle book in her wheelchair, had a stroke in her brain, and fell to the floor. Three days later she died.

I visited her the day before she died and she was on morphine and some other drug. The dry erase board on the wall with all kinds of information neatly organized for the staff and family to see had "Today's Goal". Under that, the word "Comfortable" was written. This was not a recovery situation.

It was incredibly hard to see her this way. Mostly unconscious but at times still slightly aware of things going on around her. She would respond but ever so slightly with a tilt of her head or a movement with her right arm. The stroke left her left side paralyzed and unable to open her eyes.

I said my goodbye that day because I knew she would crossover soon. She never wanted anyone to ever fuss over her when she passed. She made this very clear to everyone over the years. "Say what you have to say and get on with your life.", she said.

So Thanksgiving this year is joyous, and difficult. I will enjoy the day with my Wife's family. The day after Thanksgiving when I would normally visit my Mom....I will attend her funeral.

I'm a pretty tough guy, raised by a pretty tough Mom. As my Mom would want, the day after she died I got right back to work.......but with a very, very, heavy heart.

I never thought these things would happen to my Mom. The reality is anything can happen to anyone at any time. Believe this truth and LIVE your life. Share your feelings. Spend time with loved ones. Love each other. Help people.

 

[Bigguns50]

Vig....Thank you for sharing and I'm sorry to read the words you wrote. It's nice you take what your mentor has taught you and pass it on. We all have the power to change someone's life for the better with just a few words....I've witnessed this.

We all need to be reminded of what will happen to each one of us. I agree 100 % with your list. I would like to add a few things from my own experience.

Be kind to people. Everyone has a story. I worked with a girl that got drunk at work 5 days a week(bar work). I looked down on her. I
thought she was weak and a mess. Pathetic. After asking what size shirts and pants I wore, she brought in 3 bags of
clothing and asked if I would like them. If not, she would donate them. She told me her Husband passed away one year
earlier. She was so in love, and now heartbroken. That was 3 yrs ago. I still have the clothes.
Don't just think it. Say it.
Think. Reflect. Meditate.
Live in the moment...as much as you can. It's all you really have.

 

[DeletedUser9]

[video=youtube;BOksW_NabEk]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BOksW_NabEk[/video]

Watch this, it will give you some perspective.

 

[Vigilante]

Now cracks a noble heart. Good-night, sweet prince;And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest.
-Hamlet, Act V

 

[DeletedUser2]

I have been measuring my days for a long time now.

near death experiences will do that.

in fact. I think Im going to go play with my daughter. I have made enough money today.

thanks Vig

Z

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[FastNAwesome]

So...I'm an artistic person and I know I'm a little..um..'off center' at times but I was thinking maybe we should start a thread something like " Today was a good day because..." or " My life moment today" or something where we can post one thing that was good in our day...non business. I know we're all here to learn/share and it's about business, but maybe we should have a thread that reminds us of what's truly important.

We shouldn't be reminded how precious our life and time is only after a tragic event.

I was always a person that sacrifices for the future. I think it's a good trait and it helped me achieved many things. But I did it a bit too much, and lost lots of NOW in the name of PERFECT FUTURE. And future NEVER comes (it's always NOW) nor it's ever perfect (there's always MORE to achieve).

So it's easy to get caught up. And delay EVERYTHING until the perfect day.

But life isn't waiting...

That girl you will propose when you earn your first million...gets married to someone else, and they get a kid too. And she would have LOVED if you did it, but you were nowhere to be found.

Your loved ones are getting older. Some go away forever. Some go away way too early.
What remains? ONLY the moments you had together.

My step-father is going to a surgery in 2 days. They told him it's too risky, I roamed the entire internet to find a second option. All sources say it's too risky. All but few expensive ones. Out of our reach. So he managed to persuade some surgeon to do this, so we'll see. He's a good guy and a strong one. I believe in him.

My mom is already crushed, they've been together for so long.

Too many losses made me change outlook on life and time. Don't wait until it's too late to miss your loved ones. MISS THEM NOW, WHILE THEY'RE ALIVE AND WELL. Call your family. See how they do. Throw a barbecue. Arrange some trip. See your friends. Have fun now. Forgive now. Love now. CREATE MEMORIES NOW WHILE YOU CAN.

Life is not on standby while you succeed. Which is why I agree with the above post very much. It's possible to have a little life even while you're grinding. Many people keep grinding all their life and they still manage to have a bit of love, laugh and fun in their life. So why can't we?

 

[Kak]

Wow bud you are an inspiration to this forum. Fantastic post.

Sorry about your mentor.

Sent from my C6606 using Tapatalk 2

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[DeletedUser2]

I called my fathers phone for 2 months after he passed away, just to hear his voice.

I understand that.

Z

 

[Chitown]

Vig,

My condolences to you and your mentors' family. You wrote a beautiful post about a man who moved you in more ways than you can probably
comprehend.

I plan to quit my shit job -- chauffeur -- Oct. 31st. One of the trigger events that set me on my exit journey was the death of one of my colleagues...from a massive heart attack...in the limousine holding lot...at Los Angeles International Airport.

His name was Steve.

My last conversation with him was at the infamous Chateau Marmont -- site of John Belushi's untimely demise -- at a fashion event where we both had clients. It was freezing that night. "Colder than a witch's tit in a polar bear's mouth...", as my dad would often say when I was growing up in Chicago.

Steve asked how busy I was, as work was slow for him. I had a lot of requests that week -- things were okay. He didn't know how his bills were going to be paid.

[The owner hires extra chauffeurs so as to push all the drivers down to part time. I don't get sick days, paid time off or holiday pay. I can't afford the company health plan so I have no coverage. Our Christmas bonus was eight hours of pay -- I make $8/hr + gratuity -- even though I am required to make myself available to drive twelve hour shifts. Not complaining -- just stating some facts.]

Steve mentioned going to work for a rival company, where the chauffeurs were paid $11/hr. I told him that sounded like a plan. As my passenger walked toward the car, Steve wouldn't let me get out of the car. He helped my client into the back seat and waved good-bye.

He was dead a week and a half later. I'm glad I told him it was good to see him. I meant it, too. He was a good dude. His family came by the job to collect his things. They had not spoken to him in years. I remembered looking at his father and two siblings and wondering what happened to cause such a breakdown in communication. He is missed.

Vig and all the other Fastlaners who posted are right. Life is too short to deal with balderdash and a$$ wipes.

I am quitting my shit job Oct. 31st.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Vigilante]

Life is funny. Today around 11 AM I will see my final goodbyes to my friend. At around the same time… Halfway across the country… My best friend will become a grandfather for the first time today. The circle of life. Full-spectrum. Rejoicing on one side at a new beginning and a brand-new life. Morning and celebrating the life on the other side of a life lived well.

 

[Bigguns50]

"It Is Always Now"

 

[arcola]

"Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked, there is no reason not to follow your heart.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Sir Ingenious]

I'm very speechless except to say that you're absolutely right.

Seek out your "truth" in life and your life will be very purposeful. Do you notice how things in life happens for a reason? I highly believe that coincidences are no accident. God laid me off my job in NYC, led me to TMF , led me here to this forum and led me to where I am now. And with each and every step of the way, I evolve and grow as a person. With each step, I get closer to discovering my truth. I'm listening to life and I'm allowing life to guide me to wherever it wants me to go. And I'm not going fight it. Don't be blind to the truth but seek out the truth so that you know where to go. When I look in the past, all the "dots" seem to just connect, it's so weird but I just know what to do and where to go next by excavating the truth from it.

Life is simply too short to not live out your "truth". Find it, embrace it, and live it.

Thanks for sharing, Vigilante. Your mentor will be missed.

 

[Bigguns50]

So...I'm an artistic person and I know I'm a little..um..'off center' at times but I was thinking maybe we should start a thread something like " Today was a good day because..." or " My life moment today" or something where we can post one thing that was good in our day...non business. I know we're all here to learn/share and it's about business, but maybe we should have a thread that reminds us of what's truly important.

We shouldn't be reminded how precious our life and time is only after a tragic event.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Vigilante]

Flying early tomorrow morning to Knoxville, TN for the funeral.

I picked up the phone the other day and dialed his #. His voicemail gave me a familiar greeting.

I didn't leave a message, as he wouldn't have been able to return it.

 

[Bigguns50]

Goodfella...I've gotta expand on your theory a bit. It is interesting.

Several years ago I worked out at a gym out of town. I used a piece of equipment I've never used before. I loaded it up. Heavy...but not enough. Loaded more weights...getting there...and then more...ahh just right. I banged out some reps. I noticed a group of 4 big guys eying me as I trained. When I was done I said something to them..and they said something like.."Damn man, you're strong as a bull. I never saw anyone push that much on that machine." I said, "thanks. Never used it before".

Later I thought...what would have happened if I had known what I was pushing was supposed to be really heavy ? Since I didn't know the machine...I didn't know how much weight I was suppose to do. I didn't know how much was a lot.

You can apply this thought to many things in life...

 

[zoomzoom]

I'm really sorry Vigilante, sadly I too know what it's like to lose your mentor. Since then, I wake up every morning and evening I meditate and thank my Creator for the gift of another day to... enjoy the splendor of nature, my kid's smiles, my health and the simple, innocent pleasures of everyday life that I no longer take for granted.

I wish you peace at a very difficult time...

 

[Marc B.]

What a thoughtful post, Vigilante. Thank you for sharing your sentiments with the community. Your mentor might talk about not wanting anyone to have mushy feelings, but I'm sure that every kindness delivered leaves him feeling more and more fulfilled. Of course he will have his regrets. We all will, and that is the unfortunate power of hindsight bias, but you have made it clear that it was his mission to be as much of a giver as his time allowed.

The influence of his generous demeanor is evident in all of your posts, and if he knew the impact that you have on this community, I think it would blow his mind. I hope that the time he has left is spent well, and when it expires, I hope that he passes proud. Proud of his accomplishments, proud of the people he touched, and proud of the life he lived.

 

[JEdwards]

Sorry for your loss.

I had a great friend pass about a year or so ago now, The guy I would call to bounce ideas off of. Still reach for the phone to call him on something that I knew he knew the answer to, Boy I miss that guy.

 

[BlakeIC]

I need an hourglass now
.
I am getting an hourglass now

 

[Eskil]

Sorry to hear about your friend Vigilante. But thank you a ton for that post you wrote. Words to live by for sure.

I keep an hour glass on my office desk as a reminder of how life slowly runs out.

Many of you may have seen this before too, but it's another great article that will make you reflect on life.
The top 5 regrets of the dying:
Top five regrets of the dying | Life and style | theguardian.com

Also:
[video=youtube;Fa8mB5F_-CA]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fa8mB5F_-CA[/video]

"Memories will fade
Time races on
What will they say
After you're gone"

- This is The Life, Dream Theater

 

[Bigguns50]

Yet another reminder....

Steve, a former roommate of mine at college is 48 yrs old, good looking, physically fit, married with a 4 yr old girl and 7 yr old boy. Steve is deeply religious and just one hell of a nice guy. Most people consider him very successful working for a big investment firm. He has a gorgeous house on the lake and an impressive boat.

I don't talk with him often...a couple times a year but I know if I needed anything he would help...and visa versa.

I found out Steve's Wife, as I write this, is dying. She was diagnosed with an incurable disease a few months ago. It affects only 15 in one million people. There is no cure or reason why people get this. She cannot communicate. She gasps for each breath.

He has asked for prayers, not for him, not for his Wife, but for his children. He worries how the death of their Mother will affect them as they grow up. I don't know why...but man this hit home hard.

Eskil...I'm getting an hour glass.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[stranger]

View attachment 5683

I figured maybe if I just ignored it, it wouldn't be real. Maybe if I just detached a bit, I could let this storm pass me by. Every day a little more sand passes through the hour glass.

My mentor has just a few more months to live. Think about that. Maybe 60 days. Maybe more, maybe less. Game over.

People come and go in life, seemingly in chapters. This chapter with him has been the past two decades.

And, as much as he would kick my a$$ for any mushy sentiments beyond the sentiments I shared with him this morning, I am going to encapsulate for you a short list of the things he taught me that will continue to stay with me when he is gone.

1. Sometimes it's not about profit
2. There's a handful of people in your life worth protecting. Protect them.
3. Work hard. Expect more.
4. Count the pennies, as the pennies add up into real money.
5. Live generously
6. Build
7. Cut costs
8. Cut costs again
9. Family
10. Make shit happen

I watched him work for 2 years without taking a dime's profit personally, so he could put his deceased business partner's children through college. Literally work 60 hours per week to provide for someone else's kids.

Life is short. In a few months, he will be gone. I will have nobody left to call.

I see so many people here working some dead end, shit job that they hate. Spending life as the sand pours through the hour glass. I have personally wasted too many days.

Life has an end date.

He wishes today he had spent more time with his kids and grandkids. He's out of time. The sand has just about run out, and it is already slowed to a trickle for him. And for me, with him.

No more wasting time for me. I am going to measure every day. I am going to leave something that lasts. I am going to spend the rest of my days with people worth protecting, and building things that make a difference.

Please. Measure your days. Make sure when the sand runs out for you, that you have done everything you could do.

Here's to my friend and my mentor. Life is short.

It's always very sad to know your friend will pass away soon. I lost my good friend a year ago. He was a great man and a real fastlaner. I still cannot delete his emails which he wrote to me. Vigilante, I know what you feel and I'm sorry for your friend.

 

[CryptO]

View attachment 5683 He's out of time.

I'm sorry about the potential loss of such a great mentor.

This is a song by Oasis that makes me think deeply about that... Words can't express such sentiments, I wish you take refuge in these lyrics and let them be the kind of strong memory's that resonate on

His time was well spent!

[video=youtube;7KlYM5_WLr0]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7KlYM5_WLr0[/video]

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[liquidglass]

I'm sorry to hear about your mentor Vigilante, your post causes many including myself to reflect on ourselves and our mentors. I'm sure you'll be fortunate enough to be in his position mentoring to someone that is currently where you were at some point. Overall when it comes to life ending I like to remember that I'll miss the person not because they are gone but because of the time I had with them.

It's Awesome you were able to have him as a mentor for 20 years, that in my opinion, is a miracle and gift. My thoughts are with him and you.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[CommonCents]

Tragic events are big wake-up calls to the little time we really have here, some much shorter than others. The other wake-up call is realizing all the petty crap we fall into, losing the big picture. It's happened to me a couple times already.

 

[ChickenHawk]

Oh man, I'm so sorry for your loss. Your friend and mentor sounded like such a rare and incredible person, and your initial post was a wonderful reminder to all of us to focus on what truly matters. I'll be keeping you and his family in my thoughts and prayers...

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Vigilante]

bump


This is a great thread to remind us of our most precious asset .... of the End we all will meet....and how to truly live.

My Mother passed away 2 days ago. I was very, very close to her and we had a wonderful relationship.

A little about Mom....

My Father died when I was 9 and she raised me alone. She never re-married. She was the least selfish person I knew.

She was strong, kind, and had a great sense of humor. Laughter was always in our home. All my friends in High School would tell me my Mom's "so cool". She lived a simple life. Family....that was always her focus. She had lots of friends (sadly she outlived them all...and all her siblings). She paid cash for everything and was very frugal. She always had what she needed. She never had a desire to travel. A simple life is what she preferred.

--------------------

She was 89. She suffered from Alzheimer's for about 5 years. She was not to the point of not remembering us (family), but when I would visit in the morning, she would forget I was there by the afternoon. As time went on, more and more of my Mom's personality was lost.

While in the nursing home (which was wonderful.... she was happy), she was working on her Word Puzzle book in her wheelchair, had a stroke in her brain, and fell to the floor. Three days later she died.

I visited her the day before she died and she was on morphine and some other drug. The dry erase board on the wall with all kinds of information neatly organized for the staff and family to see had "Today's Goal". Under that, the word "Comfortable" was written. This was not a recovery situation.

It was incredibly hard to see her this way. Mostly unconscious but at times still slightly aware of things going on around her. She would respond but ever so slightly with a tilt of her head or a movement with her right arm. The stroke left her left side paralyzed and unable to open her eyes.

I said my goodbye that day because I knew she would crossover soon. She never wanted anyone to ever fuss over her when she passed. She made this very clear to everyone over the years. "Say what you have to say and get on with your life.", she said.

So Thanksgiving this year is joyous, and difficult. I will enjoy the day with my Wife's family. The day after Thanksgiving when I would normally visit my Mom....I will attend her funeral.

I'm a pretty tough guy, raised by a pretty tough Mom. As my Mom would want, the day after she died I got right back to work.......but with a very, very, heavy heart.

I never thought these things would happen to my Mom. The reality is anything can happen to anyone at any time. Believe this truth and LIVE your life. Share your feelings. Spend time with loved ones. Love each other. Help people.

My deepest sympathies brother.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.