Preserving Wealth, My #1 Tip. Don't Get Married! (Or Maybe You Should?)

[jesseissorude]

Hey guys this looks like an interesting topic.

How is the discussi... nevermind...

 

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[DreamsCameTrue]

Hell of a tip! Spend your life lonely, rich and sad as f***. Why do you even live?!

PS. Didn't even read the post nor the replies. The title itself got me furious.

No c'mon are you kidding me? Why would I ever be lonely? I've never been married and I've always had a girlfriend if I wanted one. I think most of my relatiobships have been way happier than any of the married people I know.

Seriously, how is it that people think marriage is the only way to have companionship?

What I'm seeing in this thread is a of irrational knee jerk reactions, filled with hatred, and very extreme black/white thinking. I'm making a pretty reasonable point here, and the people arguing against that point are posting a bunch of crazy talk.

Future entrepreneurs, make a note here. The people who are pro-marriage don't have much logic to back up what they are saying. While many people here are either neutral, and just trying to point out the reality of the situation, or anti marriage and well thought out, pro-marriage folks only site tradition and fear of lonliness as they throw insults and accusations. They call me stupid, they call me a misogynist....but there's no logic to back any of this up.

But hey what do I know, I'm just a millionaire with 3 successful businesses. Also, I have a great relationship currently with a fantastic woman, and I have had relationship success for many years.

 

[DreamsCameTrue]

Really...do you not have anything better to do with your time?????

Another smart reply

 

[Bila]

This is such a personal choice @DreamsCameTrue, and it depends mainly on the upbringing, traditions, religion etc.
People do value marriage as a social institution and it's been the case for centuries, change in the social fabric and the practices will not happen overnight.

 

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[DreamsCameTrue]

RHL thanks for the thoughtful reply. Instead of calling me names and telling me nobody loves me, you went and made a case for marriage and you employed some logic. I will click on reputation for you like the others did.

Now as far as the stats, great homework, but I'd say the stats are still not favorable. In any case, the point of me starting this thread was to let the younger people (men and women) know what the reality of the situation is. So you giving them more stats helps everyone. Readers should go research the stats for themselves if they want. The stats are complex.

As far as the billionaire's saying the wife is the reason they got rich, I really don't buy it. My guess is they worked hard and employed a fast-lane style strategy. I really don't see how any relationship (with a man or woman, gay or straight) could make such a huge contribution to your implementation, and be the ONE FACTOR that made you rich.

I'll speculate on this and say it's just something married people like to say in order to re-affirm their relationship. There's nothing wrong with that....but it's super misleading to tell new entrepreneurs "find the right marriage and you will get rich."

Please, newbies, watch the Divorce Corp documentary.

I'll say it one last time- IT'S NOT THE SPOUSE YOU NEED TO WORRY ABOUT, IT'S THE LAWYERS AND THE JUDGES! Well maybe it is some spouses, but the lawyers and judges are way more scary.

 

[csalvato]

Well maybe it is some spouses, but the lawyers and judges are way more scary.

A lot of spouses can be a real nightmare, too. Men and women.

 

[GIlman]

I think the real challenge isn't marriage itself, it's that you never really know your spouse or any other person for that fact. If it was possible, there would be no need for arguments because we would understand how they felt and what they needed and they would understand the same, and with this understanding the solution would be a no brainer.

Not being able to "know" or "predict" how your spouse will act given an unfamiliar circumstance like divorce, you can't predict in any way how your own personal security will be impacted, and MOST of the people that are here reading this have never experienced this complete loss of control for your own well being..I certainly never had.

Also, just because you put all your time and effort into the relationship, doesn't mean your spouse has to. They can just turn off the switch one day and walk away, and nothing you can do or say can change that. You have ZERO control over this other person that you are intrinsically tied to.

When your husband/wife are are around their friends and family, they discuss things, and what your spouse says and the advice that they receive will feel way from left field if or when you ever hear it, and this has been going on since the first flirtation you had with them. You will never know these conversations have ever happened until your relationship starts falling apart and you start hearing about all the injustices they have endured during your relationship. But you know they happen, because you have them with your own family.

If you think you know your spouse, just get divorced and you will discover quickly that there are lots of things about your spouse, their attitudes, and their expectations that you never "knew", or even worse thought you "knew" but were dead flat wrong. EVEN things that you had had discussions about and were certain you knew their firm stance.

For those not familiar, you will gain ENORMOUS understanding of people and their motivations by studying about Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow's_hierarchy_of_needs

Basically when you in a relationship, you are most likely operating in the yellow area of the pyramid or higher. When a marriage starts to encounter real problems people will fall into the red or orange area as far as their needs. The pyramid is progressive, meaning that you cannot have the next higher level of needs met until the lower level of needs is met.

So put someone who has been living in a state with their needs at most or nearly all levels met, and drop them down to where they are worried about their safety (including financial), or even worse their very existence...and you will discover someone that you never knew.

Those currently happily married are living in the high levels of the pyramid, those that have been through bad situations have gone down to the orange or red areas of the pyramid, and many of them have clawed their way back into the yellow and above. But they realize that marriage is not a requirement to live in this area, but marriage is certainly a risk to push them back into the orange and red areas again.

If you are married, I wish you the best and hope for your continued happiness, a happy marriage can be a great thing. Divorce is ugly and certainly something I would never wish on my worst enemy.

 

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[Gale4rc]

As far as the billionaire's saying the wife is the reason they got rich, I really don't buy it.

such logical reasoning here

The stats are complex.

Didn't seem so complex when you wanted to use them to your advantage, did they?

but it's super misleading to tell new entrepreneurs "find the right marriage and you will get rich."

no one even implied that. The point was that a spouse can be an asset.

you went and made a case for marriage and you employed some logic

*Some logic? Lol dude I hope no one takes any of your advice seriously


@RHL just took this thread to school and class is out. Lock it up and put a gold tag on it - The only thing left is irriational people like @DreamsCameTrue coming in and fighting @RHL 's killer reply with illogical comments like above.

 

[DreamsCameTrue]

This thread is not a pissing match between me and RHL. There's no competition going on here. Some people will never see the legal and financial risks that come along with marriage, even if a lawyer spells it out plain and simple right in front of your face, as Esquire did.

The purpose is for me to inform those who might not know about the risks.

There's a few camps here.
-the people who think I am a horrible person because I don't blindly agree that marriage is a great idea.
-the "men should have more rights" crowd
-the more logical pro marriage crowd (not much of a crowd, more like 1-2 people)

And then there's me, and I am making a very different point than the men's rights folks. My point is that the ACTUAL LEGAL SYSTEM is set up to drain your bank account and take your assets. You get taken to the cleaners by lawyers and judges who are colluding, your spouse doesn't see much cash, and your kids won't see much cash. The lawyers take everything.

This is a recent development, which began in the 80s and 90s. The way it worked for your parents is NOT the way it will work for you.

I'd like to request that a few more people comment on this point, and stop trying to turn this into a pissing match. I'll post some specific videos that you can comment on if that will help.

 

[DreamsCameTrue]

Please comment on this video, which explains how there's no rules in family court, there's only whatever the judge feels like doing.

 

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[DreamsCameTrue]

Keep in mind these videos are narrated by Dr. Drew, who is a pretty reputable guy. This is not from some wacko radical simply talking out his a$$.

The name of the game is "how to bust the prenup." That's what happens these days. Prenups get thrown out. Please comment on this development, which is failrly recent and has come along with all the other changes in family court. The 2nd guy, the private investogator, is particularly interesting.

 

[DreamsCameTrue]

Here's a video about how lawyers have a tendency to keep billing you and billing you for years until you have no money left.

Interesting part around 1:25- "some attorney's automatically put a lien on your house to make sure they get paid."

Right there is how the system steals all your family's assets and your kids, your ex-spouse, and you are left with nothing.

Please comment on this.

 

[Gale4rc]

Posting videos by a biased company who makes money off you watching them / buying their vids and products isn't saying much...

 

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[DreamsCameTrue]

So what would you say to the gentleman who took out the HELOC on his parents home and lost the entire 250K to legal fees?

 

[Bila]

The videos make really good points, and absolutely agree on everything said ......But you will see that they advocate reform to the system ( which makes more sense ) than simply abolition of marriage ( your point )

 

[KLaw]

Posting videos by a biased company who makes money off you watching them / buying their vids and products isn't saying much...

It seems like your only point to your posts is to troll DreamsComeTrue. I have really enjoyed and have learned a lot from RHL, DCT, and Esquire posts in this thread. Keep an open mind and learn a little something from this thread.

 

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[KLaw]

The videos make really good points, and absolutely agree on everything said ......But you will see that they advocate reform to the system ( which makes more sense ) than simply abolition of marriage ( your point )

I hear you and almost agree with most of your points. However, to bottom line it: what does marriage give you that a partnership doesn't?

 

[MJ DeMarco]

C'mon folks, there's no need to be combative in this thread.

If my married friends don't want to have kids, I'm not going to argue with them why they should. This debate is kinda like that -- its nice to hear opposing viewpoints so the "undecideds" can judge for themselves.

And hey, look at this, the thread actually included comments from a divorce attorney and an asset protection specialist, plus from those happily married.. I'd say the thread has been valuable for both sides of the debate. Let's please keep it civil. Gracious.

PS: Title edited, notable tag added (Basically SILVER, LOL.)

 

[Luffy]

Alright guys, let's step away from North America for a second, tell us what it's like in the rest of the world, I think someone mentioned North Europe had atleast human laws when it comes to divorce for men, how does this apply to different countries? I don't live in the United States so while my heart goes out to all men who have been suffering through this I don't have a personal reason to invest time into this conversation because it doesn't apply to me.
I'm 20 years old, I plan on getting married one day and have kids, if laws become a problem I'll simply move. Let's explore the other end of the spectrum, what is the best country to get married in?

 

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[randomnumber314]

Alright guys, let's step away from North America for a second, tell us what it's like in the rest of the world, I think someone mentioned North Europe had atleast human laws when it comes to divorce for men, how does this apply to different countries? I don't live in the United States so while my heart goes out to all men who have been suffering through this I don't have a personal reason to invest time into this conversation because it doesn't apply to me.
I'm 20 years old, I plan on getting married one day and have kids, if laws become a problem I'll simply move. Let's explore the other end of the spectrum, what is the best country to get married in?

If you're male? Saudi Arabia, or anywhere where religion dominates laws.

 

[Luffy]

If you're male? Saudi Arabia, or anywhere where religion dominates laws.

I used to want to live there in the past, not anymore. However there you'd feel a sense of masculinity being a husband vs being a husband in United States. The stereotypical portrayal of males are like polar opposites.

 

[csalvato]

Sounds shockingly familiar to the big Copyright and Patent trolling industries that are booming right now...

 

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[jersey]

"the easiest way to get rich and avoid financial ruin is to not get married" -DreamsCameTrue

 

[Bila]

However there you'd feel a sense of masculinity being a husband vs being a husband in United States.

I used to want to live there in the past, not anymore. However there you'd feel a sense of masculinity being a husband vs being a husband in United States. The stereotypical portrayal of males are like polar opposites.

Ohhh Luffy, you have such a wandering mind....
Maybe you confuse patriarchy with masculinity ....masculinity is a set of INDIVIDUAL traits, in other words, you can see masculine men in USA, Saudi Arabia, Italy, France ...but also not so masculine in USA...AND in Saudi Arabia as well.
The geographical / social environment has an influence to a certain extent only

 

[Mattie]

There are some successful people on this forum who were lucky to find a loving partner who stood by them through thick and thin.

Sadly, most of us will not be so lucky. It sounds bitter and cynical but its the honest truth. If you are a man/woman on the fastlane journey. you have to be very very careful about this matter. Marriage is the biggest liability as a fastlaner. the laws are horribly against you.

I think this is the point, in order to find that loving partner, you really both have to have the same mindset and a successful one. And really you don't find them until you're at that point to weed out the negatives. And like I read somewhere yesterday making a statement. "We're in a throw away world." Even relationships. I know if the relationship I'm in doesn't work out, I probably won't ever enter another one.

The person earned my trust to be here and I know he's responsible with his choices. It is hard to find someone and the wrong person can destroy your life financially. There still isn't a guarantee. There never is one. I suppose to get here in a healthy relationship I had to go that extra mile to begin with before I even hit the fast lane in my relationship first and have the right mindset about everything.

I don't believe people have a good judge of character to begin with when the meet someone, and usually the partner they should be with, they find is boring, and not interesting, because they're not the bad girl/bad guy syndrome, and they choose unhealthy relationships instead of the healthy ones.

 

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[Esquire]

Alright guys ... what is the best country to get married in?

This a easy.

Make glorious Kazak nation. Women there strong on plow. Vajheen worka well. And my sister is fourth best prostitute In village.

Is a nice!

 

[AndrewNC]

10,000 years ago before society made up rules to live by, were people monogamous? Or was that something invented in more recent times?

 

[johnp]

Preserving Wealth, My #1 Tip. Don't Get Married!

My wife just made me 1.5K on her way home from work.

She then cold called businesses with me later at night.

Marry the right person.

Don't give out shitty advice.

 

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[RBefort]

That's what freaks me out about marriage, as I'm on the "cusp/past due" of getting engaged (5+ year relationship, almost 29)...I'm hesitant because of becoming wealthy after I am married. I am nowhere near Fastlane, but one of my worries is how money can change people/situation/relationships. Sure, I have a girlfriend that says she supports me doing whatever, but not sure if she realizes the time & commitment necessary to get there, blah blah blah. When I get wealthy, I want to travel a few times a year, live in other countries for awhile, and so forth. She isn't the type to read, want to work from home or pursue business, or any of that. She actually comes from a small town, and wants to live the standard comfortable life. My concerns come in with what happens if I build a successful business and want to do all these things? I can't see her quitting her job, but she won't be able to travel multiple times a year then. Then we somehow end up getting divorced because of these business things, and poof, half or more than half of the wealth/businesses goes to her. These might be dumb things to stress about, but something worthy of thinking about before entering this lifelong contract I don't agree with

EDIT:

10,000 years ago before society made up rules to live by, were people monogamous? Or was that something invented in more recent times?

And this...seems ridiculous

 

[Luffy]

Ohhh Luffy, you have such a wandering mind....
Maybe you confuse patriarchy with masculinity ....masculinity is a set of INDIVIDUAL traits, in other words, you can see masculine men in USA, Saudi Arabia, Italy, France ...but also not so masculine in USA...AND in Saudi Arabia as well.
The geographical / social environment has an influence to a certain extent only

I never said all men in US are emasculated and all men in Saudi Arabia are masculine but speaking generally from what I know men are more appreciated there vs US. I'm well aware that masculinity are a set of traits and one of those traits are leadership.