'Making it' while living at home

[Infinity]

I just finished Felix Dennis's book 'How to get rich', and one of the points he made was that in order to get rich you must move out of your parents house.

"Firstly, of course, you must break loose from your parents and family
home. It's possible to get rich from your bedroom while your mother is ironing your shirt or blouse downstairs, I suppose. But it's unlikely."


I also just re-read MJ's story, and saw that he had little traction till he moved out on his own.



I just graduated university - living at home right now, so this caught my attention.


Anyone else experienced this?

 

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[MJ DeMarco]

Interesting observation. The moving out (and 1800 miles away from family) forced me to be focused. I suppose when you're at home with the comforts of a safety net, perhaps that determination isn't as strong.

Great topic!

 

[CVentures1B12]

I agree. I was itching to get out on my own and it only spurred my creativity and motivation. I love my parents to death, but they are traditional and hard working people that will retire when they are 70 or later. I had the motivation but it was geared towards what they were telling me was necessary (college, a good job, etc).

Once our on my own, I had much more motivation but I could use it for what I wanted to use it for. Sure, I graduated college and wouldn't trade those years for anything. Got a good job, etc...but I have my own path that I decide by allowing me to be surrounded by the people that I choose. Their mindsets and influences only promote my ideas instead of telling me what is the "best" (read: most common) course of action.

 

[Bond]

I'm working at home and what i'm experiencing right now is that this is seriously hindering my progress. At first is good but several months later i'm finding that prevents me from being productive.
I feel i need to get out of this house in order to really push it. Sometimes i can have 12-16 hours day cracking code and be productive and sometimes i just don't do almost nothing but surf the web. This is really slowing me down.
Need to get out as soon as possible, a change in the environment is crucial when the odds(and people) are against you...

 

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[SaraK]

I agree. I did a year as a freelance designer (working from home) and am now once again working from home due to a layoff, and my experience is that while I love the freedom and flexibility, it is tough to work from home because there's no one there to keep you accountable (i.e., to notice or get on your case if you decide to do what you want to do instead of what you should be doing), no one to bounce ideas off of, no one to socialize with (don't underestimate the importance of water cooler talk!). It is quiet. Too quiet. Too easy to get sidetracked. In fact, I shouldn't even be writing this post now, in the middle of the day when I should be working! If I was at work I'd have saved it for when I was at home. But when you work from home the lines between work and home are blurred. You have to make a really conscious effort to keep them separate and be disciplined.

 

[FDJustin]

Well, one thing about living at home is the pressure is always on you to get a job. The pressure is never "Hey, stop wasting time on youtube and write your sales copy!" - Maybe it's different for some of you, but that's the kind of culture I live in. If I asked for that kind of support, I'd get a weird look, laughed at, or a 'Ok' with no follow through. *Chuckles*

I'm basically unemployable. So while I was living out in Calgary, at my best friends mothers place (That is no different than living at home), I made my own job. The pressure to get a job didn't go away though, since I had to reserve much of what I got to make sure I could operate, and income wasn't steady like a job. Take from that what you will...
At least I learned a couple of little lessons. This one is the most important and translates best to things outside my specific business: How you do things is more important than what you do. I went to peoples houses, which cost money, time, and scalability. If I made people take their things to me, I could multi-task and complete more than one job at a time.

Living on my own, I got more done but I still wasn't hitting things as hard as I should have been. All that really means is there's additional things I had/have to figure out. Habits I need to change, tweaks to the environment to get me productive. There's a million more strategies to try than moving out on your own.

That being said, I think it's entirely possible to make it from home, if you can work the situation right. In the end, if you find moving out is the only way to succeed, the option is there.

But I wonder, is it a good thing if you always have to create the do or die scenario to push yourself? Can you? I suppose that's how swear jars and accountability games work...

 

[Red]

This thread is really about human nature. If we're not uncomfortable, we won't change.

If we're mildly inconvenienced, we'll acclimate.

We all have our individualized thresholds for what we deem acceptable and what we won't allow. And each area in our lives has a different curve. Some folks are financially uncomfortable when they have less than 6 figures saved but don't have a problem with morbid obesity. Or vice versa.

The other part of the equation is passion. I know very few people who are truly driven by money. Most believe they are, but if they were, motivation would not lag because money is always out there to make.

It's about knowing ourselves and how we tick. What motivates us, what could we care less about? Sometimes you can tweak things in order to manipulate yourself, but that's usually short-lived. If you find where your heart truly lies, work doesn't seem like it and progress is it's own motivation.

 

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[Kung Fu Steve]

When I turned 18 I moved to Chicago to pursue acting, martial arts, and performance stuff. I definitely needed it to grow up. I didn't quite realize how young I was until I moved out on my own! Funny thing is I've been everywhere from homeless to living out of a car to having a great house and now I have a decent apartment near work. I'm sure it was everyone's motivation to get away from their parents but one of the reasons I moved back to Minnesota is to take care of my mother who had developed some health issues and financial troubles. Now I pay for a large apartment that I am never at but it gives me a lot of pride because I can finally take care of my mother financially. She won't ever be sitting at the table crying over bills ever again! Guess that means I'm a mama's boy.. she does still drive me insane... haha

 

[Infinity]

Yeah, personally I'm maybe too comfortable at home. I paid for most of my university, but now I don't really have any expenses - so there's not much pressure other than from my parents to figure out what I'm going to do.

I've been spending my time reading books, forums, blogs etc - but still no inspiration on what business to start...

 

[FDJustin]

You haven't come up with any inspiration at all? Zero? Nada? Zilch? Zip? Nil? What have you been doing to come up with a business idea?

 

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[SaraK]

The other part of the equation is passion. I know very few people who are truly driven by money. Most believe they are, but if they were, motivation would not lag because money is always out there to make.

It's about knowing ourselves and how we tick. What motivates us, what could we care less about? Sometimes you can tweak things in order to manipulate yourself, but that's usually short-lived. If you find where your heart truly lies, work doesn't seem like it and progress is it's own motivation.

I agree. I am at the point where I am trying to figure out how to tap into what I'm really passionate about, but in a way that makes money too. If you don't have that internal motivation then you need the external motivators. I'd rather have the internal motivation.

 

[Pacman]

I wanted to revive this thread as I think its pretty relevant for young folks out of college. I'm personally 25, working in Chicago where my parents also live. I work a professional job and do decent salary wise. I'm very comfortable at home: as mentioned above, my mom does in fact iron my shirts; I have use of a family car, and other perks. However, because of this, I feel almost too comfortable in my solution. I've attempted to start multiple businesses in the past, but never get too far past the beginning stages. When you're living at home, part of you is still trying to get approval from your parents. (i.e. hey dad, i just registered my business today! hey mom, what do you think of my website?)

My justification for living at home has always been financially motivated (have been able to save up close to six figures). However, I'm simply starting to realize that being here at home, I'm simply not the person I need to be to make it in an entrepreneurial setting. I need to be more self-reliant, more hustle focused, and pushed outside of my comfort zone. As much as you're supposed to love your family, they can very much be very negative influences on a day to day basis for those trying to do something against the grain like starting a business.

One of the most memorable parts for me from MJ's story is how his life changed after moving out to Phoenix. Anyone else with similar stories?

 

[Pat]

Whenever I am exposed to new things I keep getting new ideas and motivation. Traveling really helps with that. But not the tourist kind of travel, I try to stay at each place for a few months. That way I keep getting exposed to new things/people while also being able to focus and work.

As you said, at home it's way to comfortable. My family is really entrepreneurial so they are actually really supportive, but I am still doing much better on my own.

If you are still at home, start ironing your shirts, cook a few times for the family and stuff like that. It is a bit disturbing that your mom is doing that when you are 25...

 

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[Talluer]

I had my a$$ kicked the first few months after moving out of my parents place. I struggled with everything. It sucked, at times I felt broken and defeated. I felt lonely, hopeless, and incapable.

Only in dealing with all that real world b.s. did I start to fully grasp what it meant to really truly apply myself towards achieving a goal. You need to taste adversity, you need to know what hunger, fear and loneliness feels like AND you need to know what beating those circumstances also feels like. It's feels great, it bolsters your confidence, gives you energy, and helps you grow mentally.

Get out of the house and go kick some a$$. Stress is growth, no one ever achieved any measure of greatness from within their comfort zone.

 

[theBiz]

Do not move out because any of us tell you to do it. Anyone here who has moved out did it because we were ready not because people on a forum told us too. I think you should move out once you have a fastlane idea and have tested the market. Once you see there is a demand, get out on your own and make it work.

I saw potential for a business when i was home but i didnt want it bad enough, i thought i was working hard, but i was not. Moving out is really going to scare you, when you sit in your shitty place, your going to say.. so this is it now, this is who i am, im the guy in the shitty apartment? Hiding behind your parents success in their decent or nice house hurts you big time, your way to comfortable. You need to face where you are in your life right now and sink or swim, eventually you will have to do it. Being at home you are not facing it, and its not your problem, it just happens, you get too comfortable.

 

[MMatt]

I am still living at home. Maybe this is my problem. Although I am attempting to educate myself in business and marketing I am having trouble determining a business that I'd like to pursue that has the possibility of becoming fastlane. Maybe I'm just not trying hard enough because I don't necessarily "have to". As badly as I want to escape the normality of the "rat race" I find myself failing to take much actual action towards my goals besides educating myself.

 

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[Brander]

To all reading this:

Take it from the older gentleman, fading slowly into the night, LOL, that living at home with mommy till he was 25 was detrimental to his business success - when you have someone expecting you to get a "good job" and nags you and dismisses all your plans - it drains you. If parents are supportive maybe it could work (but you aren't as hungry), if they are not, run, don't walk. But, listen to your own gut first - what do you want?

 

[InMotion]

Complacency kills more people than disease. I think finding what motivates you internally and what makes you uncomfortable or comfortable is an important start. If your comfortable, your not growing. There’s something funny about perceived security.

I advise finding at least some direction before throwing yourself 2000 miles from anyone though, have some idea of what you’re shooting for because you need to hit the ground running. Rent’s due in 30 .

Stress is growth; no one ever achieved any measure of greatness from within their comfort zone.

......Agreed.

 

[SaraK]

Jobs can be nice stepping stones

It may be blasphemous to say this on this forum but... a job can be a good thing - if you use it wisely.

For example, it might ease your transition to:

1) Get a job so you can support living on your own... you need income from somewhere and if you don't yet have a business covering living expenses then a job works too. Then...
2) Move out of your parent's house and learn to make it on your own, then...
3) Start your fastlane business on the side so you can ditch that job sooner rather than later.

I keep in mind that my ultimate goal is to be in the Fastlane, but I'm not there yet. Fastlanes take time to build and take it from someone who's made this mistake - quitting your job (or in this case, moving out on your own without a job) before your business has strong income is playing with fire. As long as you keep in mind that the job is a tool you are using at the moment, and not your final destination, you can go for your dreams without resorting to jumping without a net.

You can especially look for jobs where you will learn skills that you can use in your business, like sales, marketing, operations, etc. There is something to be said for learning on someone else's dime Experience is a great teacher. So whatever you decide, get out there and DO something!

 

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[GDevDir]

I'm just going to step in here and say that I'm living at home, and without it, i could never be doing what i am doing today.

I quit my LONG hour job with OK pay so that i could invest more time into my fastlane business, and without my parents uber cheap rent and food, i simply could not sustain myself for the period needed to start the business off.

all these distraction comments and blaming other things for their lack of motivation / time invested and complacency seems to be a "user" error imo, in that that's the way YOU see it, I personally see it as a more efficient way to keep a roof over my head and keep warm while i work my a$$ off day and night. I kid you not the only time i leave the room is to either go to the gym, make food, fetch water or help out around the house.

Yes there are distractions, big TVs, computer games (got a mega high lvl huntress btw!) but they never "stop" me from sitting my a$$ down and grinding through what needs to be done... saying that, they are GREAT for when you need to take a break, as no one wants to burn out, its important to have "you" time as i can see myself falling out of love with the project I'm working on if i was glued to it 16 hours a day. Instead, its 8 hours (super productive) work, 8 hours fun /gym/eat/stay alive time

just my 2cents as i would hate for someone to read this, think they need to move out to start something and ultimately fail because they have rent to pay and get stuck into another 9-5 and ultimately sacrifice their dream to pay the bills.

All that said, I am only 3 months into my project, so maybe what everyone else is saying just hasn't got to me yet, in which case the gf wants to move in together anyway (been putting it off until the projects complete) so, how knows what will happen int eh future (besides me kicking a$$ and getting my work out the door )

 

[FSF]

It may be blasphemous to say this on this forum but... a job can be a good thing - if you use it wisely.

I mentioned this in a couple of other posts but the job I recently got as a freelance writer has taught me so much. I feel like I'm getting paid for school! Yes, I am creating content for the website but they have given me access to amazing tools and tons of information on improving and creating a successful website. I am using every piece of information I learn from this job and applying it to my own fastlane project.

I would encourage anyone to find a job in the area you are interested and learn what makes the company successful. Ask lots of questions and learn everything you can from your job then change the model and create your own fastlane. Experience is a great teacher and should not be underestimated.

 

[WBoone]

you can make it while you live at home. Theres plenty young millionaires that built their businesses in there parents basements..ofcourse with growth you gotta move it. If youre going to make it youre going to make it.

I ran my first business out of my moms house and it turned out well. But i have a really cool mom too. If you have crazy overbearing parents then i think its probably best to get out.

 

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[911Carrera]

To all reading this:

Take it from the older gentleman, fading slowly into the night, LOL, that living at home with mommy till he was 25 was detrimental to his business success - when you have someone expecting you to get a "good job" and nags you and dismisses all your plans - it drains you. If parents are supportive maybe it could work (but you aren't as hungry), if they are not, run, don't walk. But, listen to your own gut first - what do you want?

This man speaks the truth. Most parents will consider you a failure if you're not holding a good 9-5 during the hard times of fastlane pursuit. That alone is enough pressure to stop most young cats from taking the plunge.

 

[Shuffle]

This man speaks the truth. Most parents will consider you a failure if you're not holding a good 9-5 during the hard times of fastlane pursuit. That alone is enough pressure to stop most young cats from taking the plunge.

I totally second that. As soon as I quit my 9-5 with a promising future, I got ALL the eyes, ALL the talk and ALL the crap I could've gotten. Nobody believes in me, and that my friend is one of the worst feelings in the world. My hide has gotten a bit tougher since

I've tried working in the area that I like (Music) but it's definitely the people around you and not the type of job that makes it worthwhile, which for me wasn't the best of places.

 

[GDevDir]

I totally second that. As soon as I quit my 9-5 with a promising future, I got ALL the eyes, ALL the talk and ALL the crap I could've gotten. Nobody believes in me, and that my friend is one of the worst feelings in the world. My hide has gotten a bit tougher since

I've tried working in the area that I like (Music) but it's definitely the people around you and not the type of job that makes it worthwhile, which for me wasn't the best of places.

I guess I'm on of the lucky ones, all i have got so far is support and congratulations for trying to do something "more" with my life, I'm still paying rent, so no different for their end of the deal, just had to sacrifice my cars/toys while i do it to minimize my out goinings

 

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[MMatt]

I would definitely catch crap for quitting my secure 9-5 job. I would not quit anyway though unless I was actively pursuing something I had faith in.

 

[LightHouse]

Reading through a lot of the threads on here latley, it seems as though people are still trying to figure out 'what is right' like there is some singular way to do everythign to achieve financial or other success'. I don't get it, out of all the books everyone reads there are similar trends but not a one of them is the exact same. Everyone did things differently because our lives are different.

Don't think that moving out will make you successful, or give you something you didn't have automatically. Make a plan and pursue it with your own best judgement. You either have it in you or you dont, lol.

The more time you spend on the internet looking for the 'right' answer is time lost to making your mark.

I was out of the house at 18, got into a shitty living situation, 3 months later got into a bit better living situation and started my first company, I worked my way up to now owning a house and having a 500sq ft home office (and server rack!! lol) inside. It took a lot fo work and troubles to get here but i am definitely still not done. Does that mean i wouldn't have done it if i wasn't still living with my mother.... I have no idea, but i could guess that I would have still started that company.

 

[mmtprofile]

I have a friend who lives at home but pays rent to his mother for a small space.

He has a debt buying business that cash flows between 2k and 10k/month, A property that cash flows him 1k/month, he just started painting is selling between 1k and 2.5k/ month and he's launching an app very soon.

I know two other people who became millionaires when they moved back in with their parents... I won't name any names because they're both relatively famous and if they want to tell the story they will do so on camera.


I don't think you have to move out but you definitely need to feel the responsibility. You've got to focus and most people cannot do this when they are living at home.

Maybe rack up a few thousand dollars extra in credit card debt... It's weird to recommend that but it forced me to focus a lot more when I did that.

 

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[mmtprofile]

Don't think that moving out will make you successful, or give you something you didn't have automatically. Make a plan and pursue it with your own best judgement. You either have it in you or you dont, lol.

The more time you spend on the internet looking for the 'right' answer is time lost to making your mark.

I couldn't agree more. Just get motivated. You really have to have a burning desire to do whatever it is. If moved to my parents house right now, I would not be unfocused because I've set up systems that force me to focus and I'd block off a room to work in every single day.

Take an inventory of all of the marketing activities that you need to be doing and lay them out over 28 days so they repeat.

Lock yourself in a room with a countdown timer and focus every single day for 4-8 50 minute intervals.

Get a full-time or part-time job --> I was averse to this before but when I did it I became more productive because I had less time to get things done.

Use any trick you can to focus.

You've gotta do whatever it takes and that means different things for different people.

 

[mmtprofile]

Oh! Kevin O'Leary also started in his mother's basement and he's a billionaire now.