Book on how to understand her ?

[21elnegocio]

What are some top books to understand women ? As far as how they think, what they like, how they like guys to be bla bla bla wouldn't hurt to know a little more

 

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[socaldude]

The Manual: What Women Want and How to Give It to Them: W. Anton: 9781456494551: Amazon.com: Books

the only self help book on women you will EVER need. no joke. Enjoy!

 

[Saqua]

I really would love to read the book you recommended but I know if I chase women I wont be chasing money. Even though women are probably not attracted to money (as the book you recommended suggested). I would rather money than the fittest chick in the world.

 

[FiveOone]

 

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[MMatt]

I really would love to read the book you recommended but I know if I chase women I wont be chasing money. Even though women are probably not attracted to money (as the book you recommended suggested). I would rather money than the fittest chick in the world.

It's all about balance IMO. Maybe a girl singularly will not make you happy but maybe money will not either. Life needs to be a compilation of what makes you happy.

 

[danoodle]

It's all about balance IMO. Maybe a girl singularly will not make you happy but maybe money will not either. Life needs to be a compilation of what makes you happen.

I agree with this. I don't know why people feel they have to choose women/relationships OR money. Seen quite a few threads like this. I don't understand why people think it's either/or. It all comes down to time management. It's your choice to spend 5 hours a day with a woman or see her once a week and HER choice to put up with you.

 

[The-J]

Step one: Talk to a girl
Step two: Listen
Step Three: ???
Step Four: understanding!

 

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[Vigilante]

Married two decades. Still learning how not to be an a**hole, and that simply putting her needs, thoughts, and ideas first ... works.

Are you young and dating? Treat her like a lady, not a hook up.

Newly married ? Date her like you did before you got married.

Married several years? Surprise her. Romance her. Don't get boring.

Married a decade? Renew. Redo your vows. Recommit.

Married two decades? Enjoy it --- you made it longer than 50% of your peers. Think about how you could make the rest of her days, weeks and years memorable. She probably spent a long time supporting your dreams. Make sure you are supporting hers.

You don't need a book. Just think with your head and not your wiener.

 

[redshep]

Women are people; they appreciate the same things we do.

Don’t be a pushover.
Don’t mince words.
Don’t criticize.
Show appreciation.
Be genuinely interested in what she wants. Talk about it and help her get it.
Make her feel important.
Be happy to see her.
Give first.

 

[Rickson9]

I found it enlightening when Tony Robbins interviewed John Gray of "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus" fame. Speaking for myself and my relationship, the books are about 90% applicable.

 

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[AndrewNC]

Art of Seduction: Robert Greene: 9781861977694: Amazon.com: Books

A must read about not only women, but business. You have to understand the psychology of women that has been worked into their DNA for tens of thousands of years. In the hunter-gather societies, the top hunters were the ones that got the most women because, they possessed the traits that ensured that the woman's DNA would thrive for future generations. Do you have confidence and show that you can protect women? Do you have the money to show they her future children will be taken care of? I think the owner of PUA forums is a member here.

Make her comfortable, be attractive, and dont be needy. Be confident. It's all about the subconscious.

 

[Alana]

I can't help but chuckle a bit when I see a book about how to understand woman that is written buy a guy. It reminds me of the guys I know that tell me about their current/past injuries and say (very straight faced) "It's 10Xs more painful than childbirth". I mean, clearly no one understands what childbirth is like more than a guy....
Look, I'm not hating on the guys...I have just as many guy friends as I do gal friends. Never had any problem finding a boyfriend throughout my life either (I'm now happily married)...but here's the thing....I think it was because I was never looking for one. I was too busy living my life happily single...and they would just "appear".
I think a lot of folks approach a relationship with the mentality of "What can he/she offer me?". I think that needs to be reversed. Think instead "what can I offer her?" Are you the kind of person that describes your ideal catch? That's where you need to start in my opinion.

 

[HenryDicks]

I can't help but chuckle a bit when I see a book about how to understand woman that is written buy a guy. It reminds me of the guys I know that tell me about their current/past injuries and say (very straight faced) "It's 10Xs more painful than childbirth".

I think your argument works against you here.

 

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[Rawr]

Married two decades. Still learning how not to be an a**hole, and that simply putting her needs, thoughts, and ideas first ... works.

I find that usually the smart stuff comes out of her mouth, and even though my first knee jerk reaction is to try and argue, I within moments understand that she's right and I am silly. Now to accept this and to believe that she has BOTH of your interests at heart - that's huge for me. I remember an old athelete was getting interviewed once, and he said "Of course a man should be "whipped" by the wife" - went against everything I believed in at the time, but now it is starting to make sense, the key is to find a great woman

 

[Lights]

All women are different.

Don't change yourself for someone else.

 

[Alana]

I think your argument works against you here.

Do tell...

 

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[InMotion]

Even though women are probably not attracted to money

In my experience this is completely false lol. They might not all be gold diggers but they are definitely biased towards the illusion. Many women wont date a blue collar guy even if he made more money than the white collar guy etc.

 

[andviv]

A friend of mine told me about some books series called something like "the 5 love languages" and she told me they were great. If you read the one for men please let me know. I read part of the sample from amazon and sounds interesting, but have not bought it.

 

[FreeMan]

A friend of mine told me about some books series called something like "the 5 love languages" and she told me they were great. If you read the one for men please let me know. I read part of the sample from amazon and sounds interesting, but have not bought it.

I read this years ago. I remember it being quite good. I think it might have been the original one as it wasn't just directed at men.

From memory, it talks about the different languages like gift, time, service, touch, & affirmation and how people have different needs in relationships. So if you are giving your partner lots of gifts, but what they want is time, they may not be happy although you think you're doing everything right.

It was quite an insightful book when I first read it. And made me conscious of my behaviour whether intentional or not.

 

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[FastNAwesome]

All women are different.

Don't change yourself for someone else.

+1

But do change yourself for yourself, if you're not happy with where you are.

how they think, what they like, how they like guys to be

Find a pretty female friend, spend time with her, you'll learn a lot, it's better than the book. She'll also help you to get some romance in your life (in many ways...by hooking you up with her girls, by being your secret consultant when you get stuck with some girl, by boosting your desirability when you go out together etc.etc.)

So instead of befriending a book, befriend a girl. You'll learn much more and have more fun.

 

[21elnegocio]

I found it enlightening when Tony Robbins interviewed John Gray of "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus" fame. Speaking for myself and my relationship, the books are about 90% applicable.

I want to read this book it sounds like a good one.

 

[EastWind]

The problem is not that you don't understand her, but that you don't understand yourself! Learn and know thyself first and you won't have problem figuring out the people around you and why they act how they act around you, or why you act how you act around them.

MASTER YOURSELF.

 

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[Sponge]

I really would love to read the book you recommended but I know if I chase women I wont be chasing money. Even though women are probably not attracted to money (as the book you recommended suggested). I would rather money than the fittest chick in the world.

Thats true indeed! but sometimes you gotta learn multiple things at the same time so you dont have one ingredient and not another. I think money is overrated but that and woman is pretty much all I think about besides how I can become a better person! Who wants the be the man with all the money but cant make a woman laugh? Youll just spend your life trickin on escorts and being used. I love learning about woman and how to make them tick:smash:

 

[sandeep]

You should be looking for how to get into fastlane books!! :cuss:

 

[HenryDicks]

Do tell...

Simple, being a fish doesn't make you a good angler. Sure, you understand how you think (even though this could be challenged, too, as the human mind is notoriously incompetent at predicting what we'll want, like and feel beyond a very short frame of time), but, unless you're into gals yourself (and even then there are some significant differences) you don't have any experience understanding another woman in the context of a relationship.

So, if a man writes a book on how to understand women, he is (hopefully) describing his own experiences and results. When a woman writes a book on how to understand women, she needs an enormous amount of introspection and awareness of her own biases in order to reach a similar result. Most don't, that's why female relationship advice tends to suck. Not all of it, and the men generally aren't that much ahead, but I'd still avoid "How to get/understand the girl" written by someone who's only qualification is being one. The argument obviously works the other way around as well.

 

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[TheTruth]

For the love of Pete! ... another one of these threads. I am now convinced this market hasn't even been touched, yet I know of so many sources that answer these types of questions (I mean this is like the 7th thread around this issue I have seen on here within 2 weeks)

What are some top books to understand women ? As far as how they think, what they like, how they like guys to be bla bla bla wouldn't hurt to know a little more

don't worry about the books, this is all you need Real Social Dynamics Nation

Also, stray far... and I mean FAR away from " how they like guys to be". This is probably the least attractive trait when talking about masculine/feminine polarity.

Being yourself (and comfortable with it) is when you will be most attractive to women.

[/url]

the only self help book on women you will EVER need. no joke. Enjoy!

Perhaps, but reading a second book would give him a second perspective. It's like a reading business books, you read 10 and then you put it all together. Same principles apply.

I really would love to read the book you recommended but I know if I chase women I wont be chasing money. Even though women are probably not attracted to money (as the book you recommended suggested).

1st - you shouldn't be chasing money
2nd - you shouldn't be chasing women
3rd - women aren't attracted to money (if we are talking about raw attraction). Money will hinder your chances (although I know hollywood has you convinced otherwise). I'll let you do a little homework on this one to see what you get from this sentence.

Actually here is an interesting vid on this exact topic [video=youtube;bNLjvzs6KVo]http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=bNLjvzs6KVo[/video]

Art of Seduction: Robert Greene: 9781861977694: Amazon.com: Books

Do you have confidence and show that you can protect women? Do you have the money to show they her future children will be taken care of? I think the owner of PUA forums is a member here.

Make her comfortable, be attractive, and dont be needy. Be confident. It's all about the subconscious.

The former part of your sentence is tricky when telling it to someone new to any of the concepts you mentioned. The reality is that he probably doesn't know anything about "lover vs provider" studies and how the dynamics work.

The Later part of your quote is spot on, but again, it's difficult to just turn on those attributes without a specific plan and consistent action to re-enforce the behavior.

I can't help but chuckle a bit when I see a book about how to understand woman that is written buy a guy.

I think a lot of folks approach a relationship with the mentality of "What can he/she offer me?". I think that needs to be reversed. Think instead "what can I offer her?" Are you the kind of person that describes your ideal catch? That's where you need to start in my opinion.

The former part of your sentence could be agreed upon if the person writing the book was basing their facts from "studies". However, it's much different if it comes from someone who has approached and been with a ton of women.

Inherently, there are things women do subconsciously which only people with a lot of experience could explain (naturally it is more likely for this person to be man). Also, these concepts could easily be proven right/wrong if the person tested them to see if it was b/s (action just like with everything is 80% of the results and the proper guidance is 20%)

For the latter part of your sentence, I would agree with your statement, except I would take it even further and say that in the majority of interactions between all people, most think via "what can they do for me".

and he said "Of course a man should be "whipped" by the wife" - went against everything I believed in at the time, but now it is starting to make sense, the key is to find a great woman

If she's a great women, she should be your equal, because you are a great guy.

Nobody should be "whipped" ever.

Don't change yourself for someone else.

Exactly Lights. Although it sounds simple, the reality is that it most likely won't happen. To not want to change yourself for someone else, you must come from a place of abundance and drive. How many people come from that frame?

In my experience this is completely false lol. They might not all be gold diggers but they are definitely biased towards the illusion. Many women wont date a blue collar guy even if he made more money than the white collar guy etc.

This is only what society has taught us via media and hollywood. The funniest part is that money has 100% no influence on the matter, in fact if you have a lot of it, it could be a huge detriment.

I know plenty of guys who look like "dirbags" are piss poor and get amazing girls.

+1

But do change yourself for yourself, if you're not happy with where you are.

Find a pretty female friend, spend time with her, you'll learn a lot, it's better than the book. She'll also help you to get some romance in your life (in many ways...by hooking you up with her girls, by being your secret consultant when you get stuck with some girl, by boosting your desirability when you go out together etc.etc.)

So instead of befriending a book, befriend a girl. You'll learn much more and have more fun.

Solid advice right here. This is especially helpful when you are reading books because you can directly apply what you are learning and see if it's bs or not.

Who wants the be the man with all the money but cant make a woman laugh? Youll just spend your life trickin on escorts and being used. I love learning about woman and how to make them tick:smash:

lol, who says you have to go after escorts if you have money? If it takes you 3-5 years to build a successful business, then approaching/meeting/dating women for 2+ years would get you to the same result in that area.

Don't love learning what makes women tick, love learning about yourself/social dynamics and have an awesome life... this will get you all the ticks in the world.

 

[HenryDicks]

This is only what society has taught us via media and hollywood. The funniest part is that money has 100% no influence on the matter, in fact if you have a lot of it, it could be a huge detriment.

That's what RSD is selling. Sure, success and good looks are overrated, but you're wildly overreaching if you argue that they're completely ineffectual.

 

[Alana]

Simple, being a fish doesn't make you a good angler.

Good response. I don’t want to go too off topic from the original question posted here (which was book recommendations)…but just a couple o’things:
You mentioned that being a fish doesn’t make you a good angler, but as someone who use to get called out by the PD to assist in dangerous animal capturing (say, an injured deer on a highway, or a feral dog who is sick/injured), in order for me to capture those animals, I did have to think like them; put myself in their mind frame.
All in all…woman are complicated…and that’s the only statement I think applies to all women. Other than that, each are uniquely complex.
I agree with your post, but I do think there can be some real value in advice about women given by women. I’ve often asked my guy friends questions regarding guy dating behavior and they’ve really help me interpret ‘guy lingo’. And I also have to add that because I’m the only female within 50 miles of where I live, the few men I do encounter up here tend to ask me ‘lady’ advice….so perhaps it helps to get both perspectives—from someone who dates us and someone who is ‘us’.
Bottom line: there is no clear cut ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ book.

 

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[Rawr]

Let's not confuse getting a girl with having a relationship, where you have to be authentic and it is real work sometimes.

There is something to be said about a woman who will tell you directly what it is she wants, and again, is not making you feel like she is using you or is trying to manipulate you.

My advice- find (foreign) girls from good families with strong values.

 

[cautiouscapy]

I want to read this book it sounds like a good one.

Do read it - or get the audio for driving to - written by a wise man who listened to his wise wife and learnt from her. It's a balanced book (gender-wise) about relationships.

Another place to look learn about what women find attractive to is maybe the more intelligent part of "Pick Up" scene.
Although I could name a couple of names, I expect some of the other guys on here have good recommendations.
(As a female, I find PU theory interesting and insightful but haven't studied it with intent!)

But whatever you read, keep in mind that all this information is generalised, so a guide but not necessarily a rule.