This post is for men and women, and while this may pertain more to men, I will include info for women as well, because I am a huge believer in female empowerment in every part of life.
Many people who are not getting the success they want in dating and relationships think that getting rich will solve everything. Men especially tend to think "once I'm rich, I'll show them. That head cheerleader from senior year will want me when I'm rich!" This kind of thinking can be good for your motivation in the short term, but can lead to disillusion and loneliness in the long term.
In this post, I'd like to outline exactly what will change and what won't change when you become wealthy so you have a better idea of what to expect.
How do I know? Well I had a lot of dating success when I was flat broke and now that I'm a millionaire I have success still, so I've seen it from both sides. Also, in my work as a dating coach I've coached lots of millionaires on this topic. They come in with some success, but need a lot of help. I also know millionaires in my personal life who have it all figured out and do well.
FOR MEN-
The urge to get women is a primary motivator for many men. Men tend to think that having money will result in automatic attraction and automatic attention from women. It turns out that it really doesn't work that way at all.
Our society tells us "women want a rich man." Some women will even come right out and say they want to marry a rich guy. What people say and what actually happens are two very different things. What women say they want and what they actually respond to are 2 very different things.
Here's my list of dreams that don't come true-
You step out of your Ferrari and women are instantly wanting to go home with you. (in reality, women might like the car, but they are usually uncomfortable being around someone far more wealthy than they are).
You pay a woman's rent or bills and she likes you better as a result. (When you do this, the woman loses respect for you because she views you as submissive and desperate, unable to get her attracted with your personality, and resorting to gifts and money as a pathetic last resort.)
You flash your Black Card at a bar and the hottest chick in the place offers you a BJ. (In reality, men who make these awkward shows of wealth are viewed as egotistical jerks. Women think a guy like this is hard to relate to, and prefer a guy who has a fun personality.)
The bottom line is that if you want to attract women, you can't LEAD with money. Showing that you have a lot of money results in the following-
-attracting gold diggers who become abusive and manipulative very quickly.
-making nice "girl next door" types uncomfortable.
-attractive girls just want to give you more of a hard time, because "he thinks because he's rich he can get anything he wants."
-prostitutes will get interested really fast, that's for sure.
-women from rich families or who have their own money will like that you have money, because it shows your on a level playing field with them. But if you flaunt it too much, you look cheesy and desperate.
You must LEAD WITH PERSONALITY. If you lead with personality and a woman likes you, the fact that you are wealthy does increase a woman's interest, because it shows her that you are very intelligent and you are able to dominate situations in the business world.
Ideally, a woman should like you for your personality and find out later that you are wealthy. This is where you will get your best results. This will solidify her interest and get rid of some common objections women have like "I don't want to date a broke loser."
Having money will solidify her interest in having a long term relationship. What it won't do is increase her interest in having a short term fling or a one night stand. Women absolutely do not look for wealth when they are in the mood for a one night stand or a fun sexy fling. There is a huge misconception among men that money makes a woman want to have fast sex. Nothing could be further from the truth.
If fast sex is what you're looking for, it is possible to use money to help you position yourself in the right way, but it will still be your personality and the whole package (fashion, voice, body langauge, identity, etc) that makes her want to seal the deal.
That said, if success in dating is what you're looking for, getting rich is not the way to make it happen. If you want to get rich, do it FOR YOU, not to get a woman. Do it cause it's fun. Do it cause you want to treat yourself right. Do it because you want to live a certain lifestyle. Don't do it to get women, it doesn't work unless you really have a lot of other things in place already.
If success in dating is what you're after, develop your personality. Develop your social skills. Develop the ability to walk to a woman you don't know without being fearful. Learn how to make her laugh, make her feel emotions, make her feel attraction.
Attraction trumps money 100 times out of 100.
I live in LA and I see rich guys in clubs all the time getting bottle service. Guys with personality routinely steal all the women away from the rich guys and it's no contest. The ultra-hot models and actresses in LA view the bottle service guys as suckers with no personality. The women drink all their booze and leave without even saying goodbye. They even have a name for these guys, they call them "toads."
In the end, a lot of men spend their prime years in their 30s and 40s building wealth, expecting that dating will be easy once they are rich. Then they have net worth of 10 mil, and they find out that it doesn't really work. All they can get are abusive gold diggers. Then they have to go back and develop their personality and social skills, which gets harder and harder as you grow older.
FOR WOMEN-
The main problem for women is that men are generally very insecure, and they feel threatened when a woman has more money than they do. Men want to feel like "the big stud" and their ego won't allow them to appreciate that a woman might be better than them in certain areas.
Another problem is that men have an instinctual urge to go for younger women, and the stereotype is that women under 25 are usually broke, and women with money are usually over 40 and got their money in a divorce. I'm not saying this is true, I'm saying it's the stereotype.
Dating success has everything to do with stereotyping, because most men you meet will stereotype you in the first 10 seconds without really getting to know you. Women do this too, it's just a normal part of the dating game. As much as it might pain us all to think this way, working within established stereotypes is a shortcut to dating success.
You don't want to be stereotyped as the rich divorcee, it will only attract the wrong kind of guy. It's better to be stereotyped as the "independent hot chick" or the "cool girl."
These are sterotypes men use all the time, when they are speaking in private and women aren't around.
The "cool girl" is not needy or desperate, she doesn't try to hassle anyone or reprimand a man. She has a good time and rolls with the punches. She laughs at all the weird jokes men make and she's almost like one of the boys.
The "independent hot chick" is fun and has her life totally together. She won't chase you, you have to chase her. Even once you sleep with her, you are far from winning her over. She has sex because she wants to, not because she's trying to please a man or trick him into a committed relationship. The independant hot chick is never needy, she has her own stuff going on and doesn't complain all the time or rely on a man for things she can do for herself.
If you are a woman who has money, again DON'T LEAD WITH MONEY. It's great to dress well and look good, but you don't need to make that the main focus.
A top notch guy is subjected to all kinds of needy and dramatic behavior from women since he will often date women purely based on their looks. So being the kind of girl who doesn't bring drama to the table will go way further than leading with money.
In conclusion, I suggest that both men and women purify their motivation, and build wealth for their own personal satisfaction, because in the end it's gonna help you get results in the dating realm unless you've already developed your personality and social skills.
Thanks for reading. Let the fireworks begin!
Many people who are not getting the success they want in dating and relationships think that getting rich will solve everything. Men especially tend to think "once I'm rich, I'll show them. That head cheerleader from senior year will want me when I'm rich!" This kind of thinking can be good for your motivation in the short term, but can lead to disillusion and loneliness in the long term.
In this post, I'd like to outline exactly what will change and what won't change when you become wealthy so you have a better idea of what to expect.
How do I know? Well I had a lot of dating success when I was flat broke and now that I'm a millionaire I have success still, so I've seen it from both sides. Also, in my work as a dating coach I've coached lots of millionaires on this topic. They come in with some success, but need a lot of help. I also know millionaires in my personal life who have it all figured out and do well.
FOR MEN-
The urge to get women is a primary motivator for many men. Men tend to think that having money will result in automatic attraction and automatic attention from women. It turns out that it really doesn't work that way at all.
Our society tells us "women want a rich man." Some women will even come right out and say they want to marry a rich guy. What people say and what actually happens are two very different things. What women say they want and what they actually respond to are 2 very different things.
Here's my list of dreams that don't come true-
You step out of your Ferrari and women are instantly wanting to go home with you. (in reality, women might like the car, but they are usually uncomfortable being around someone far more wealthy than they are).
You pay a woman's rent or bills and she likes you better as a result. (When you do this, the woman loses respect for you because she views you as submissive and desperate, unable to get her attracted with your personality, and resorting to gifts and money as a pathetic last resort.)
You flash your Black Card at a bar and the hottest chick in the place offers you a BJ. (In reality, men who make these awkward shows of wealth are viewed as egotistical jerks. Women think a guy like this is hard to relate to, and prefer a guy who has a fun personality.)
The bottom line is that if you want to attract women, you can't LEAD with money. Showing that you have a lot of money results in the following-
-attracting gold diggers who become abusive and manipulative very quickly.
-making nice "girl next door" types uncomfortable.
-attractive girls just want to give you more of a hard time, because "he thinks because he's rich he can get anything he wants."
-prostitutes will get interested really fast, that's for sure.
-women from rich families or who have their own money will like that you have money, because it shows your on a level playing field with them. But if you flaunt it too much, you look cheesy and desperate.
You must LEAD WITH PERSONALITY. If you lead with personality and a woman likes you, the fact that you are wealthy does increase a woman's interest, because it shows her that you are very intelligent and you are able to dominate situations in the business world.
Ideally, a woman should like you for your personality and find out later that you are wealthy. This is where you will get your best results. This will solidify her interest and get rid of some common objections women have like "I don't want to date a broke loser."
Having money will solidify her interest in having a long term relationship. What it won't do is increase her interest in having a short term fling or a one night stand. Women absolutely do not look for wealth when they are in the mood for a one night stand or a fun sexy fling. There is a huge misconception among men that money makes a woman want to have fast sex. Nothing could be further from the truth.
If fast sex is what you're looking for, it is possible to use money to help you position yourself in the right way, but it will still be your personality and the whole package (fashion, voice, body langauge, identity, etc) that makes her want to seal the deal.
That said, if success in dating is what you're looking for, getting rich is not the way to make it happen. If you want to get rich, do it FOR YOU, not to get a woman. Do it cause it's fun. Do it cause you want to treat yourself right. Do it because you want to live a certain lifestyle. Don't do it to get women, it doesn't work unless you really have a lot of other things in place already.
If success in dating is what you're after, develop your personality. Develop your social skills. Develop the ability to walk to a woman you don't know without being fearful. Learn how to make her laugh, make her feel emotions, make her feel attraction.
Attraction trumps money 100 times out of 100.
I live in LA and I see rich guys in clubs all the time getting bottle service. Guys with personality routinely steal all the women away from the rich guys and it's no contest. The ultra-hot models and actresses in LA view the bottle service guys as suckers with no personality. The women drink all their booze and leave without even saying goodbye. They even have a name for these guys, they call them "toads."
In the end, a lot of men spend their prime years in their 30s and 40s building wealth, expecting that dating will be easy once they are rich. Then they have net worth of 10 mil, and they find out that it doesn't really work. All they can get are abusive gold diggers. Then they have to go back and develop their personality and social skills, which gets harder and harder as you grow older.
FOR WOMEN-
The main problem for women is that men are generally very insecure, and they feel threatened when a woman has more money than they do. Men want to feel like "the big stud" and their ego won't allow them to appreciate that a woman might be better than them in certain areas.
Another problem is that men have an instinctual urge to go for younger women, and the stereotype is that women under 25 are usually broke, and women with money are usually over 40 and got their money in a divorce. I'm not saying this is true, I'm saying it's the stereotype.
Dating success has everything to do with stereotyping, because most men you meet will stereotype you in the first 10 seconds without really getting to know you. Women do this too, it's just a normal part of the dating game. As much as it might pain us all to think this way, working within established stereotypes is a shortcut to dating success.
You don't want to be stereotyped as the rich divorcee, it will only attract the wrong kind of guy. It's better to be stereotyped as the "independent hot chick" or the "cool girl."
These are sterotypes men use all the time, when they are speaking in private and women aren't around.
The "cool girl" is not needy or desperate, she doesn't try to hassle anyone or reprimand a man. She has a good time and rolls with the punches. She laughs at all the weird jokes men make and she's almost like one of the boys.
The "independent hot chick" is fun and has her life totally together. She won't chase you, you have to chase her. Even once you sleep with her, you are far from winning her over. She has sex because she wants to, not because she's trying to please a man or trick him into a committed relationship. The independant hot chick is never needy, she has her own stuff going on and doesn't complain all the time or rely on a man for things she can do for herself.
If you are a woman who has money, again DON'T LEAD WITH MONEY. It's great to dress well and look good, but you don't need to make that the main focus.
A top notch guy is subjected to all kinds of needy and dramatic behavior from women since he will often date women purely based on their looks. So being the kind of girl who doesn't bring drama to the table will go way further than leading with money.
In conclusion, I suggest that both men and women purify their motivation, and build wealth for their own personal satisfaction, because in the end it's gonna help you get results in the dating realm unless you've already developed your personality and social skills.
Thanks for reading. Let the fireworks begin!
Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum:
Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.
