{PROGRESS + ACCOUNTABILITY} LAURYN'S RECONSTRUCTION: GETTING TO 50 SHADES OF PAID

[Lauryn]

Some of us have done similar things. Sometimes it works out fine, sometimes not. You will often find that wherever you go, there you are. And any baggage you have is still right there with you.
I have no patience with amateur therapists, but I'm going to be one now: How about thinking less about what might have been and more about what you are doing right now? Easier said than done, of course.
Also, you're only 29? From your writing I would have guessed that you were older.

Touché on everything you said.

This month will show me what I'm made of. I slept all that weakness off and now I'm like "Eh? Keep hustling."

And yea... only 29. It just feels like it's taking forever to get where I'm trying to go. LOL. Thank you.

 

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[Lauryn]

Special Announcement: I LANDED MY DREAM JOB!!!!!!

And I can say, with confidence, that I start my new job Monday. I'm a copywriter for one of the coolest marketing/design agencies I've ever come across. Not only am I making 50% MORE than my last job:

- I can wear whatever I want
- I can curse
- I can say + write crazy sh*t
- I can drink
- I can STRENGTHEN my copywriting and content writing skills ALL DAMN DAY!

AND MHM, YES, I CAN DRINK ON THE JOB. We just have to bring our own liquors, vodkas, wines, beers, what have you. Company policy.

All I can say is: Look at God. Won't He Do It?​

Now, I know the goal of the Fastlane is to not need a job. Right now, I see this opportunity as not only strengthening my skills, but giving me a little piece of mind because I'm funnelling money into my publishing dreams. My focus is becoming the best writer possible from a copywriting, content writing and book writing standpoint. If this job not only strengthens my Fastlane but pays me to do it, while I'm still pursuing other projects, then I'm happy. Even if I hit the Fastlane, whose to say I won't enjoy being employed for the sake of having something great to do during the day?
​

​

 

[Lauryn]

Calculated and have written exactly 10,238 words on Playgirl Diaries so far.
As I let the story unfold the way it wants to unfold, and I get excited. The plot is coming together nicely.
The conflict is also. Adding a second POV through Travis is helping me a lot. It also allows me to shock the audience and mess up their emotions just a bit.

In real life, I don't consider myself maliciously manipulative, but in writing a book, I am becoming deliciously so.

I'm glad I hit the 10k milestone. My goal is to have 25-30k words completed... or potentially 25 - 50% of the book done by Monday.
I want as much progress as possible.

 

[Cruor Vult]

As I let the story unfold the way it wants to unfold, and I get excited. The plot is coming together nicely.

Isn't it strange how that works? It's like it takes a life of its own and just comes together by itself.
Great progress, you're on a roll.

 

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[Lauryn]

MORE RAW + UNEDITED DELICIOUSNESS

(graphic; nsfw or kids; explicit material)

=== NO APOLOGY NECESSARY ===

After I came, I dropped my toy, dropped my phone and rolled over. Travis cuddled up next to me and kissed me on my cheek. “How are you?” he whispered.

“I’m straight,” I replied nonchalantly. What else should I be? Honest?

“I’m just making sure,” he started. “I know this is frustrating you… I’m sorry.”

“I don’t need an apology Travis. I know you’re sorry, but at this point, that’s all you are. Nothing’s changing, and quite frankly…” I trailed off into a sigh. I just nutted. All was okay with the world. Let me go to sleep, I thought.

“What? Quite frankly what, baby? Talk to me.” He seemed so concerned with what I was going to say. I wasn’t. If I said how I felt, it wasn’t going to get us anywhere. And at 7 PM we needed to be asleep so we could get on the road, not discuss the same old thing we’ve been discussing for years.

I laid in bed, silently ruminating over whether or not to say what I had on the tip of my tongue and the top of my mind for weeks. What I said wouldn’t be revolutionary or groundbreaking; I just knew saying it wouldn’t get anywhere at the moment.

“Nothing. Let’s go to sleep. We have to leave by 4 AM. You’re all packed, right?”

“Yes, I’m all packed and I know we have to leave early, but this is important. Tell me what’s on your mind baby. I need to know. You know I’d do anything for you,” he sat up and leaned over my torso, looking me in the eye. The lights were out in the room, but the TV was on, allowing him to at least get a glimpse of my expression in the dim light.

I sighed. F*ck it. Why not? “I think we need to separate. I can’t do this. This - us - we’re all f*cked up and really, I can’t deal with this anymore.”

“We are separating. When I go to Iraq in a few weeks, you won’t see me for like 6 months.”

“No. That’s just it. You’re going to be gone again and I’m going to be expected to wait for you again. And then when you get back, I’m supposed to be patient while you mentally disengage from being deployed again and I’ll be even more aggravated and frustrated when our marriage - and our sex life - is neglected even further again. And I’m already sexually-starved, beyond frustrated and quite honestly pissed the hell off. I should be dead right now, but I’m here. I’m here with you, and you’re still not able to F*ck me after all I’ve been through trying to make this work!” I sat up, seething. He’d awakened the beast. “I don’t need to separate for 6 months and then start over like it’s nothing Travis. I need to separate so I can get F*cked the way I need to.”

My words had a vicious bite to them. Even I was taken aback by the way I sounded. But I wasn’t backing down. He wanted the truth, here it was.

=== SHE'S MY WIFE {TRAVIS' POV} ===

​

Note: I mixed it up just a little. I told @Selfy in his post that sometimes you start writing and things move in a different direction. This is one of them. For readers like @Cruor Vult who've read Ricochet, I never really dove into the idea of honoring Travis' perspective. But as I wrote this, I needed to demonize Carmen and make Travis even more lovable, because the man he's based on (men, actually) honestly are quite lovable minus their challenges. So I started writing from Travis' POV and it got really fun!

Service was beautiful but long. I’ve never been to a funeral that lasted that long. It started out sad and somber, with everyone paying respects and well wishes to our family, especially grandma Stanton. As service progressed, people began sharing some of their fondest memories of him. Church members, friends and relatives all shared different stories they had of him. Her cousin even spoke of a time he was proudly arrested protesting alongside Jesse Jackson a few years ago.

After that, things changed. Folks wanted to perform in his honor. There was dancing, singing, organ playing. Before I knew it, we started having a full blown church service. Carmen and I snuck out the sanctuary with her cousin Valencia and headed to eat some food that had been prepared by the kitchen staff.

“Carmen, it’s so good to see you,” her cousin Valencia said as we sat at a round table in a separate room. Several round tables were up and prepared, clearly in anticipation for hungry or distracted mourners. “How have you been?”

“I’m good girl. It’s nice to see you too,” Carmen stated. She seemed genuinely enthused to see Valencia. This was her first time seeing her since having her second child, a beautiful little girl with dark brown hair and hazel eyes. “I haven’t been up to anything. You know, Travis and I are just working out in New Mexico. He’s getting ready to deploy in a couple of weeks,” she added, turning toward me. “I’ll be up here for a little while this year.”

“Oh yeah?” Valencia turned toward me. “Where are you going?”

“Afghanistan.”

“How long?”

“Six months.”

“Oh no. Be careful out there. Be safe,” she smiled. “Thank you for serving our country.”

She turned to Carmen and started telling her about everything she’d missed since being gone. Visits to the hospital to see Willie. Family meals every other Sunday to cherish the time he had left. Giving birth again, and the possibility of getting married in the future. All the things she should have been in New York for. I could see by her expression that it messed Carmen up to have been away so long. It was subtle and in her eyes. I could tell because I knew my woman, and I knew how expressive her eyes were. Valencia couldn’t tell. She was just happily bouncing her gorgeous baby girl on her lap while updating her big cousin.

I had to admit sitting here at this funeral and in the midst of this conversation made me feel some type of way. I felt horrible because I hadn’t pushed Carmen to come home and see her family before her grandfather passed. I know it would have done her good to see everyone. There had just been so much going on between the two of us and at work that doing so slipped my mind. Granted, she might have said she couldn’t because she needed the money to go. She didn’t make a lot at her job and she never liked to depend on me. But so what? I’m her husband. That’s what I’m here for. If nobody else was to provide for her, it didn’t matter, because she was my wife. I just wish she understood this sometimes.

=== HERE COMES TROUBLE {TRAVIS' POV} ===
I pulled into a shopping plaza with an upscale flair. There were a few midscale brands ensconced in the layout, including premiere chocolatier Godiva. There was also a supermarket down the street. Excellent, excellent, excellent. What caught my eye (and made me pull in) was something else. Something different and completely unexpected, but quite welcome in my world.

I parked in front of Godiva, which was sandwiched between a flower shop and bakery. I checked my watch, stepped out the car and walked toward the plaza shop entrances. I pulled my phone out of my pocket, then activated call forwarding. I wasn’t going to welcome any disturbances right now.

Maintaining discretion, I strolled past the more respectable shops on the plaza strip, headed toward the object of my attention. I held a normal pace in my stride, but my heart pounded a wild African drumbeat that increased in pace as I approached the shop entrance. My dick started jumping in my pants before I even made it to the door.

“Good afternoon, sir. Welcome to Sensual Paradise. May I see your ID?” the sales associate said, smiling warmly from behind the counter.

“Sure thing,” I replied, handing her my license.

As she verified my age, I took in her profile. She was sexy. Either Spanish or mixed, standing 5’7”, about 130 pounds. Her super long silky straight black hair with blonde highlights hung to her small and sexy waist, which was further accented by thick child-bearing hips. Her breasts were melon-sized, maybe a 36 C… They were swollen under the store’s signature baby tee she was wearing. You’d have thought those breasts would bust that shirt right open. Topping it off, she had these gorgeous dark brown eyes with a beautiful almond shape to them. She looked like a hip hop video vixen.

Daaaaaaamn, her t*ts are nice, I thought to myself. I wonder how those n*pples look? Are they well-balanced in proportion to her breast size? How much sag does she have when she takes her bra off?

Blood rushed to my crotch as I looked at her. It wasn’t everyday that you saw an exotic woman with beauty and body working in an adult store. I’ve seen some cute ones, but they weren’t really my type. Kind of a$$-less, usually, or just mousy and plain looking. You could tell they were working there just because. There was nothing sexy about them. This chick was smoking.

“Here you go, Mr. Robinson,” she said, snapping me back to reality. “Is this your first time here?”

I cleared my throat. “Actually yes, this is my first time here. I’m not looking to buy anything in particular, but -“

“Okay. That’s fine. Nobody else is here right now, so let me give you a brief tour. We’re small from the outside, but inside we’ve got a lot more than you’d anticipate,” she said, extending her hand and winking. “I’m Ana. Follow me.”

Ana sauntered in front of me, giving me a full view of her ripe, juicy a**. I don’t know if she was a fitness model, escort or stripper when she wasn’t on the clock here, but I wouldn’t have been surprised if she was. I don’t want to sound ignorant, but the truth is I’d be more shocked to discover that she wasn’t any of those things. Her body was just that right. She had a confident, flirtatious demeanor, and sex appeal like Amber Rose. She was caramel-coated sin in the middle of Connecticut. Lawd.
Calm the hell down, I told myself. It’s just a**.

Ana gave me a brief tour of the front of the store, which held all the conventional sex toys and couples’ items. She then escorted me to a smaller, more discreet section of the store, where higher end adult items, lingerie and couples’ furniture were available for purchase. She stopped at a black door.

“So… here’s something not too many patrons are aware of. We don’t really advertise or discuss this, because the reality is the people who come here don’t need to be told about this if they’re looking for it. But this room opens to our peep shows and video booths.”

My heart dropped. “Serious?”

Ana’s eyes twinkled as she looked at me. Biting her lower lip and nodding, “Mhm. Serious. Right now there aren’t any live girls working. They start coming in… in like an hour or so from now. But when they’re not there, we have various p*rn playing in different booths.”

“How much?”

“$10.”

I peeled off a $20 so fast I didn’t miss that I was supposed to get $10 change. I walked past her into that door, and told her I wouldn’t be long. (Not that she even cared anyway. With her sexy a*z.)

 

[Lauryn]

Things are progressing nicely. My roommate is now more of an ally. Things at the former job (which we worked at) are challenging her right now. She's currently shopping her resume and skillset, and working on her writing. I'm deeply pleased, because I've been telling her FOR FOREVER that it was time to put her skills to action.

When I say she can write, she. can. write. She just has it.

So we were brainstorming ways to take this great lil' tale I'm writing and amping it up by totally f**ckin' with the characters. I'm a nice person, but it's so much fun to screw up my characters lives with pure f**kery and see what happens.

 

[Cruor Vult]

Oh, I like that. Travis really should be looking around a little now. And you know, those are just the things we wonder about when we see a sexy woman...
You really write Travis very well. Something tells me he will be pretty important to the story, because you seem willing to give him a backbone at last.
You say your friend has it, but you sure have it too. Very vivid, as always.

 

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[Selfy]

Great work! Studying your writing now!

 

[MorgothBauglir]

Your male POV is spot on, lmao.

 

[Lauryn]

Happy Friday!

First week at the new gig and things are going great. I'm getting into the habit of writing more, and I still have ongoing client work. God is good.

In terms of book sales, things are soaring with that one nonfiction book. I have an idea of how to make the book better, but that's not for me to do now.

I've gotten more great feedback from Ricochet. This is from folks who've downloaded the book before it was taken off the shelves for reconstruction.

I've just spent the past few hours zoned out writing 2 chapters for the book. What's funny is, the more I set out to write fairly about these two the less freakin' lovable and understandable Carmen's becoming. Travis is becoming my hero. LMAO Odd huh?

I just put Travis in a really triflin' and nasty situation. Something he has to work out in order to live with himself, especially in the midst of everything going on.

I wrote some filth that left me in need of a boyfriend.

I'm going to cry myself to sleep now. ‪#‎TheGrindisMyBoyfriend‬

 

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[Cruor Vult]

I'm going to cry myself to sleep now. ‪#‎TheGrindisMyBoyfriend‬

Can't help but laugh out loud at this. Suggest you insert some of that wry humor into your writing. Everyone loves a character who's self-depricating at times, if only in their own minds.

 

[ManWithABeard]

Nothing to add, just wanted to say your grind ethic is motivating.
Also the obligatory hashtag #ohhkillem

Keep grinding! This is an awesome progress thread!

 

[Lauryn]

Can't help but laugh out loud at this. Suggest you insert some of that wry humor into your writing. Everyone loves a character who's self-depricating at times, if only in their own minds.

Thanks. @Cruor Vult that's definitely getting worked in. You are one of my best supporters. <3

Nothing to add, just wanted to say your grind ethic is motivating.
Also the obligatory hashtag #ohhkillem
Keep grinding! This is an awesome progress thread!

Thank you, thank you! As Rick Ross says, "Grind til ya eyes close."

​

 

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[Lauryn]

I forgot to add, officially surpassed $200 in royalties last month. I'm already getting good numbers for April. Again, no significant work done on these older titles (or marketing), just letting them live.

My #1 priority is the first draft of The Playgirl Diaries... and a revision of Ricochet. Once those are set, then I can take the other older books, rebrand them and improve my chances of NOT getting filtered. Apparently my language is too much in the book.

I have one of two choices:

- Ramp up the language from "explicit" to NOSTY (and use my new fiction writing skills to enhance the playbook)
- Keep the book as is but remove the "street terms" for the body parts and "acts" involved.

Don't mind me. The Midori Sour + Pineapple has my mind in a different zone. Perfect for writing.

 

[seamles]

Been getting through alot of these progress threads and yours was definitely an interesting story!

It was unreal to see you go through your lows and then hopefully where you are now as a high!

I wanted to offer my support and help however I can. I know jobs can be tough but it sounds like you like where you're at! I wish you the best and can't wait to see your progress towards your goal of 1k a month and then hopefully onwards and upwards.

I've been starting with the smaller progress threads and am excited and a bit leery to catch up on the big HfR and ChickenHawk threads....!

 

[Lauryn]

Your male POV is spot on, lmao.

LMAO! I just got to see this. Thank you. My male friends are always very shocked - and sometimes upset - that I can hit that male POV well.
What can I say? I love men, inside and out. You study what you love, right?

Been getting through alot of these progress threads and yours was definitely an interesting story!
It was unreal to see you go through your lows and then hopefully where you are now as a high!
I wanted to offer my support and help however I can. I know jobs can be tough but it sounds like you like where you're at! I wish you the best and can't wait to see your progress towards your goal of 1k a month and then hopefully onwards and upwards.
I've been starting with the smaller progress threads and am excited and a bit leery to catch up on the big HfR and ChickenHawk threads....!

Dude, get a notebook when you get to @Held for Ransom and @ChickenHawk 's threads. I spent several hours reading, writing, and taking notes. There were things I missed the first time around that really will help me this second time around.

And thank you. Nothing is ever stable except the fact that I get a check every month. Even if it's not as much as I'd like, it's still a check... everything else is an illusion to me now and a means to an end.

 

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[Lauryn]

I got promoted at the job - and got a raise. Let's just say, when they say always work because you're preparing for that moment, they weren't kidding. And I'm just getting started.

However, I've picked up on the homefront of the hustle as well.

Here's some edited portions of my recent writing. Be back after I post.

====================
SURPRISE

“Spread your legs, mami,” Travis whispered, pushing my thighs up toward my chest. “Let me get at that.”



Travis and I were back at the hotel room less than one hour after he had finally come back from the store. He dropped off a case of sodas and said we needed to head to the hotel room for some rest right after saying hello to a few people. He’d made his rounds to different people, including grandma, extending support for grandpa’s death. Then he grabbed my hand. “Come on baby, let’s get some rest.”



The rest he had in mind was completely different from the rest I had in mind. But as horny as I had been, I was in no position to argue or fight with him. Pushing back sleep another 20 or 30 minutes was fine as long as we got off.



In the car, he claimed that he’d gotten lost on the way to the store. I bought his excuse until I got to the hotel room. He put me in the shower and told me to wash up first so I can head straight to bed. When I got out the shower though, that’s when I realized I’d been set up. Our room was bathed in candlelight. There was a beautiful floral arrangement on dresser.



Travis approached me from behind and planted a kiss on my ear. “Surprise.”



“So you didn’t get lost,” I said, bashfully. “You went out and did a little shopping.”

==========================

HERE COMES TROUBLE... AGAIN

“Dayuuuuuuum, you’re back again?” Ana said, winking at me and licking her lips. “Did it work or nah?”



“It worked, but there’s too much going on right now, so nothing’s happening. And that’s the problem.” Ana was the one who had given me the run down on the sex pills. I explained that I wanted something that would give me that extra edge in the bedroom, without getting into too many details regarding why I needed it. Flirtatious as ever, she told me she understood and gave me some recommendations based on experiences she said her customers have shared. I had to admit the product she recommended most had indeed worked, but now I needed to blow my load or I would scream.



She looked at me, that wicked smile in her eyes teasing my _____ even further. “Hm… I see. Give me a moment to get Joey up here, and then I can take you where you need to go. Aye Joey! Come watch the front. I have to put in a special order request,” she said to the large Italian guy eyeing a very young looking couple perusing DVDs in the corner. He gave a thumbs up, signaling her to handle business.



Reaching into my pocket to hand Ana my $10, she stopped me. “Don’t even worry about it. Nobody’s counting. I got you.” She looked down at my _______ through my pants. “Mm, mm, mm. Damn shame that’s going to waste in your hand.”

 

[Lauryn]

Okay, so, I've been meaning to write, but I've forgotten what I'm supposed to be writing, and it's because of that I've had stuckage again. I'll be revisiting the plot ideas I have so far and moving from there. As you can see, Travis, her husband, has been making more of an appearance recently. This is fun because now I can see this becoming a nice little series. Carmen can go off in her direction. Travis can go off into his.

As it stands though, I need to revisit the topics and themes at hand, and figure out how to weave them into the book before it's too late. This means I will have to take Ricochet, and pop it into my head and engineer the plot again. Flesh it out and twist it up just a bit.

But the new rule? Never write when you don't know what's happening, because when you don't know what's happening, you have no way to know what the heck to write. That wastes time.

I've also invested in Grammarly to help with my editing a bit. Clearly the things I post here aren't edited ...they're rough. But I do change words or cut portions so that my posts aren't too much for the audience here. We do have people from all walks here and I don't want to put this in front of the wrong eyes who may not want to see certain words.

Besides, this ain't a pr0n or literotica site.

 

[COSenior]

But the new rule? Never write when you don't know what's happening, because when you don't know what's happening, you have no way to know what the heck to write. That wastes time.

That's why I use a beat sheet for the big picture and usually a scene map to flesh it out. I'll never understand how some people can just start writing and what comes out is a neat plot, all the i's dotted, t's crossed, sub-plots nicely wrapped up and the pacing right. Boggles my mind.

 

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[Cruor Vult]

As you can see, Travis, her husband, has been making more of an appearance recently. This is fun because now I can see this becoming a nice little series. Carmen can go off in her direction. Travis can go off into his.

Thumbs up on that. T has all the hallmarks of a strong character.

 

[Lauryn]

Hey you!

How's your week going?

This week is coming to a close. I have been working everyday since last Monday. Major deadline at the day gig, and it was important for me to be there and involved.

No real writing, right now. Here's what I have been doing:

• Monitoring KDP sales. I'm over $200 for this month. Yay! Grateful for the trend.
• Taking a course on Ash Ambirge's Six Appeal Process. (No aff link and course is locked right now.)
• Delegating clients. One wants to hire me, and I just picked up another for branding.
• Looking for a place to move. In 60 days or less, I hope to have my own little studio to live/work out of.
• Reading about sexual and pornographic addiction and sexual wildchilds - because that's what my story's about.

At the end of the day, 99% of what I'm doing is about creating an emotional impact. That's what Six Appeal Process is about, and so far I'm learning a lot. I'm also blessed to be in a way better position than I was before, and the strength I get from constantly improving my craft is going to run right into everything I'm doing with my book series.

I've had people come to me for help writing their book - go figure, who would want my help, right? I've had to pull back and wait until I've mastered my own process. I'm not interested in being that chick who can sell you a book writing system before she finishes making a nice profit from her own system. Definitely not interested in being that chick.

Brand sexification? Yeah, that's me all the way... from Monday to Sunday.

If I find any great links, I'll be dropping them here. Like this one, it's about the power of triggering emotional impact in your story. This is one of the mistakes I made with Ricochet... I didn't fully draw out the emotional connection readers needed to see why Carmen was so miserable about her marriage and her life. The story structure wasn't fully fleshed. This is being corrected as we speak!

 

[Cruor Vult]

If I find any great links, I'll be dropping them here. Like this one, it's about the power of triggering emotional impact in your story. This is one of the mistakes I made with Ricochet... I didn't fully draw out the emotional connection readers needed to see why Carmen was so miserable about her marriage and her life. The story structure wasn't fully fleshed. This is being corrected as we speak!

Very nice link, thanks.
You are learning a lot from Ricochet, huh? Seems you're grabbing it by the throat and not letting go until it's given up all its potential. I like it.

 

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[Lauryn]

Hey there folks!

I'm just coming up for air.

The new job has been keeping me very busy - but in a good way. I don't know if I mentioned this in previous threads, but they promoted me by the time I got my first check. The pay was converted to salary, and it's more than enough for me to get my own place. I picked out a very nice, very sexy, very "Lauryn" spot to nestle in. Unfortunately, there are upgrades being done, so I won't be moving in until nearly the end of June. My commute is 30 minutes in the morning, but it's up to an hour in the evening.

I've been getting up at 4:15 daily, showering and running out the house by 5. I spend an hour at Starbucks, then go in 90 minutes early to get started. Even on salary, I won't change up my availability. Being in the office ahead of time allows me to idle my mind a bit, get focused and not feel so frantic. What I love about my job is I can BS and daydream as needed, so long as I handle my work - which I do.

We've had major deadlines recently, so this is the cause of my being swamped. Add to that, moving between Plano and South Dallas is uhm, not that easy when you're taking 75 everyday and there's lots of bumper to bumper traffic. So.... by the time I get home and get settled, I'm energetically done for the day. Also, my roommate checks in with me about her day at the time, and I'm not going to rush her out the convo. We connect and de-frizz and then I'm knocked out.

Today I realize I REALLY need my time optimized. I have a brand development client for a book/DIY study kit I designed... and I haven't finished some of the material. SMH! So in looking to finish this, it seems like it's in my best interest to spend a few more hours at Starbucks in the evening, buy tea or something, and then push the work out. I have to isolate myself because once this program is completed, the ebook is polished for Kindle, the self-study is polished for sale on the website, and then I'll be able to really go back to my focus on The Playgirl Diaries and Ricochet.

I've still been getting some amazing feedback from people who've read Ricochet. I'm not sure how to pump the story out some more, because some people really seem to love it, but I know it has confused some. Decisions, decisions.

Overall though... Busy as ever... but things are really blooming... Trust me, I'm checking in here and there... and will even renew my INSIDERS as soon as I'm able to BREATHE again!

Oh! But I wanted to add, my royalties from previously published books are still growing and blossoming, even in the face of me being so busy... so if you have the time, PUT IT INTO YOUR WRITING. Writing is what keeps me alive and fed, and helps me build on whatever I'm doing. Put your foot into your books and keep publishing. I see so many posts asking about the best day, date and time to publish. The answer is 5 MINUTES AGO DAMMIT.

Stop over thinking it... stop beating your head against the wall. These are books, not blog posts and powerful epic shit doesn't work on a schedule except Godspeed. Hustle!​

 

[COSenior]

I keep forgetting you're in Dallas. I'll be heading there this weekend to see my mom for Mother's Day.

I completely understand the need to divide your time between what makes enough money to live on now and what's going to break you out of that rat-race. Hoping to be able to choose which project to spend my time on within the next four weeks or so. At least I don't have that commute...ugh!

 

[Lauryn]

I keep forgetting you're in Dallas. I'll be heading there this weekend to see my mom for Mother's Day.
I completely understand the need to divide your time between what makes enough money to live on now and what's going to break you out of that rat-race. Hoping to be able to choose which project to spend my time on within the next four weeks or so. At least I don't have that commute...ugh!

That's awesome!

And yeah, now that I have a lease, I'm contractually obligated to fulfill said lease. I'm of the mindset to accomplish the goal of making 3x my lease amount before the first 90 days of taking possession. That way, in case anything happens, I'm covered. No matter how great a position is, it's always greater when you are self-secured and in control... because then your job is a daily hobby, not necessarily your grind.

I'm just blessed I have more to work with for book development. I can afford ISBN packages, etc.

 

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[Lauryn]

I don't have the structural focus to write the novel as I would like to. It seems like I'm easily distracted.
I know what I have to do, so this weekend I might take an extended vacation and hide out somewhere in North Dallas.
I just need/want/desire/crave to get away for a while and literally re-calibrate.

Work is evening out. Home feels like it's picking up. Again, I found a place, so it's really a matter of counting down the days.

Lately I've been doing more copywriting and business development. Again, content writing and copywriting pays the bills for me.
Here and there I pick up a little pro-bono work. (Please don't ask; I pick it up at my discretion when a project excites me or I see and sense the need in people.) Without trying, I've become an accountability coach for some as well. (Yikes, at using the word coach on myself... I wouldn't say I'm an expert... but that's what I do.)

Once the first draft of the novel is written, I plan to do the Gary Halbert challenge. My goal for that challenge is August. June and July are about book development. May is about finishing this one branding product/package and moving forward from there.

Book sales... *thumbs up* .... Not as great as others here, but when it's an extra couple hundred in your pocket without any "continued" work on your part, can you be mad? Hell nah.

 

[Lauryn]

Oh! Oh!

Forgot to add, a piece I wrote for an artist made it's way into XXL, a major hip hop publication in the US. For those who have time, check out the Freshman issue... My byline is on page 75.

I guess after all these years, I'm hitting my stride... or I'm doing something right...

 

[Cruor Vult]

All writing is good. Polishing your copywriting with the Halbert thing will be very valuable, I think. Many things about copywriting can be used in fiction too.

 

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[Lauryn]

All writing is good. Polishing your copywriting with the Halbert thing will be very valuable, I think. Many things about copywriting can be used in fiction too.

Thank you! I've learned the more you write, the better you get, in any format. And some things bleed into other things. It's funny how after a while everything customizes itself and creates a unique voice according to what you're trying to do.

At the core, all I want to do is provoke emotions with finesse. Copywriting will help...

 

[Lauryn]

I received a message that basically told me I was focused on the "wrong empowerment" and what will my "empowerment" do for my "race" as a community.

My message is not about promoting free and casual sex. My brand and my writing is NOT for teenagers. And I am a single woman without children of my own. So before we start judging what I do and how I live, just know that I'm above the "norm" and the stereotypes that come with being a "black woman."

I do a lot of things. I only share relevant bits and pieces of what I do and what my goals are here. Why? Because there's no need to brag on who I am or my contribution. When I die, that's when my impact on peoples' lives will be clear.

However if ANYONE wishes to research brand Lauryn, trust me, the information you need to know isn't hard to find. You could learn:

• Where - VERY RECENTLY - I spoke of the importance of teaching kids there's more to life than being booty models, football players and rappers. -----> http://www.podfeed.net/episode/Sex Appeal for Branding Strategies wLauryn Doll/4775631

• How I have helped build and assist several black brands, including direct help with Love My Black, who is re-shaping in a direction of supporting positive black pride and culture

• How I've consulted with brands and nonprofits with a desire to help children strengthen tech skills

• my desire to leverage income earned, when the time is right, to invest in technological skills that go beyond gossip-blogging for money. Something that, while cool, is oversaturated in our current community.

• My podcast - Lauryn Doll - which isn't focused on sex, but on building a better life and never giving up in the face of adversity

It's somewhat belittling to be told my perspective and actions are "selfish" without taking time to understand me. And it's something I'm not keen to entertain. I'm just not for everyone. It just sucks this kind of perspective can lurk here, where I thought we suspended certain things in favor of the pursuit of green made out of a desire to propel ourselves forward and have more capital to do good in the world... in any community we so chose. (And hopefully chose out of love and a desire to help, not an obligation to our race.)

No words can describe how, as angry as I am, how hurt and insulted I feel underneath. Unfortunately, this only proved my mission is further needed, even if not understood or respected. Black, brown or yellow I am a woman, the other half of the gender makeup of the human race. And while I don't deny the community has needs, I don't need anyone questioning my loyalty, interests or motives based off things they think I'm doing instead of asking me.

I'm taking my black a$$ back to sleep. I have to be up in a few hours.

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