The Little Student Who Wanted More

[isaac.harrisholt]

Hi all,

I'm Isaac, and I'm one of the new recruits here on the forum. I joined after reading TMF and decided that it was about time to get myself out of the rut I'm stuck in and do something I want to do for once, and the first step in doing that is by surrounding myself with other people with similar goals.

In short, I'm currently a student at a prestigious London university. I've been studying Chemical Engineering for just over a year and I just can't stand it. I chose my degree based on what I was good at in school - Maths, Physics and Chemistry - and based on which degrees were 'highly employable'. Put bluntly, I had no idea what I wanted to do in life and just went with what the numbers were telling me at the time.

Turns out, I was looking at the wrong numbers. I've spent the last year and a bit grinding in a degree I don't like. I've been programming for 7 years and should've chosen Computer Science in hindsight, but alas, I did not and switching now would put me in more useless debt than I think is really necessary.

So I'm quitting, probably.

Unfortunately, I don't have the cash currently to continue living in London, and I've decided that I'm not giving up the friendships and community I've built here. That's very much a constant in my decision equation. And so, I'm looking for a junior developer/software engineer role to fund me while I try to get a business off the ground. My hope is that by quitting the seven day workweek that is ChemEng and releasing more of my time by getting a 'traditional' 9-to-5, I can focus on what I really want to get done.

As you might imagine, I brought the idea up to my parents and they weren't best pleased, and had many, many arguments as to why I should stick on the miserable road I'm driving for the next 2.5 years. They even tried blaming my current 'meltdown' on the fact I've recently come off anti-depressants (which I only needed because of the degree!), so I'm not getting the most support from that corner.

They eventually calmed down somewhat and resigned themselves to the following:

If you're going to quit, make sure you have a plan.

Good advice, in general, and I do. However, I don't think they're entirely convinced, and I've provided as many arguments as I can think of for dropping out, so I'm a bit stuck.

And so I'm turning to the wonderful people here. Those of you who made the same decision and profited from it, how did you explain it to your family (all my friends are with me, thankfully) and how did you prevent things blowing up? I'd appreciate whatever advice you can give me and suggestions for how to move forwards.

Wishing you all the best and all the success in your 2022 ventures,
Isaac

 

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[Jobless]

You can say that you are taking a break to do something different for a year, due to -insert reason-. Even if you never plan on returning, you can present it as a future possibility.

In any case, you will be judged by your parents and friends. You can prove them wrong, but in the end you have to stand by the decision that is right for you. Don't force parents or friends to support you. Do the opposite and ask what support they need from you. If you can support others financially and/or emotionally, you're indepedent and likely capable of building a future for yourself.

 

[isaac.harrisholt]

You can say that you are taking a break to do something different for a year, due to -insert reason-. Even if you never plan on returning, you can present it as a future possibility.

In any case, you will be judged by your parents and friends. You can prove them wrong, but in the end you have to stand by the decision that is right for you. Don't force parents or friends to support you. Do the opposite and ask what support they need from you. If you can support others financially and/or emotionally, you're indepedent and likely capable of building a future for yourself.

I totally agree. I would never force someone to support me, but I'm very lucky in the fact that in my 20 years of life, my parents have always supported me in the decisions I make, so it was mostly the shock factor of getting a very different response to what I suggested.

I appreciate the comment on offering support though. Reminds me of the sentiment of a book I've read recently called The Courage to be Disliked, and has given me a new way of looking at some of the lessons from said book, so thanks