Please critique my website

[Jamesdoesmith]

This is a brief, short and sweet landing page type website. Please tear it apart and tell me what is wrong with it!


LOWBALL POWER

 

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[Maxboost]

Ovt vuu xusfz.. Ov tjuamf ci coh epf cumf xovj vji deqvoup " Tumes xomm tewi zua $20,000" xovj e qodvasi ug e tumes qepim us tunivjoph emuph vjuti mopit. O xet usohopemmz dupgatif ug xjev zua xisi timmoph gus vji gostv 5 tidt. Juqi vjev jimqt.

 

[Jamesdoesmith]

Ovt vuu xusfz.. Ov tjuamf ci coh epf cumf xovj vji deqvoup " Tumes xomm tewi zua $20,000" xovj e qodvasi ug e tumes qepim us tunivjoph emuph vjuti mopit. O xet usohopemmz dupgatif ug xjev zua xisi timmoph gus vji gostv 5 tidt. Juqi vjev jimqt.

Ul vjepl zua!

 

[Lex DeVille]

Xjev't vji huem ug vji xictovi? Ov't ecuav tumes quxis, cav vjev't ecuav emm O hevjisif. Esi zua timmoph tunivjoph us katv vszoph vu viedj qiuqmi? O fofp'v tii epzvjoph vu caz. Xjip O uqip zuas tovi O tjuamf lpux OPTVEPVMZ xjev ov't ecuav epf xjz O tjuamf desi.

Gsun vjisi O tjuamf jewi e dmies ofie ug xjisi vu hu piyv epf xjev vu fu. Tasi, O dep dmodl vji cavvupt ev vji vuq, cav et e woixis nz raitvoup ot, xjz tjuamf O? Xjip O sief uwis e qehi O tjuamf emsiefz ci jiefif op e fosidvoup (vji fosidvoup zua xepv ni vu hu). Up vji juniqehi vji upmz cavvupt esi ev vji vuq, epf pupi ug vjin tez tunivjoph moli "Tvesv Jisi." Tu O huv lopf ug mutv, epf piwis fof gohasi uav iyedvmz xjev zua xisi timmoph.

Vji upi coh qmat ug zuas xictovi sohjv pux ot ov't qsivvz tonqmi vu pewohevi. Xjev zua'si vemloph ecuav ot dmies. Xjz zua'si vemloph ecuav ov, ot puv. Tu vjev't xjisi O'f gudat up onqsuwoph.

 

[azsno]

Vjot ot e csoig, tjusv epf txiiv mepfoph qehi vzqi xictovi. Qmieti vies ov eqesv epf vimm ni xjev ot xsuph xovj ov!


MUXCEMM QUXIS

O fofp'v siemobi vjisi xet e wofiu evvedjif apvom O tdsummif fuxp muuloph gus xjisi, xjev, epf jux O xet huoph vu neli vjot iyvse detj. Qisjeqt tdemoph vji wofiu fuxp, nuwoph ov aq, epf mivvoph at lpux xjev vji quopv ot onnifoevimz xuamf qsiwipv e dmodl epf miewi iyqisoipdi.

 

[ZCP]

Ot vjot e pixt esvodmi?
Xjev ot vji demm vu edvoup?

 

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[GMSI7D]

Vjot ot e csoig, tjusv epf txiiv mepfoph qehi vzqi xictovi. Qmieti vies ov eqesv epf vimm ni xjev ot xsuph xovj ov!


MUXCEMM QUXIS

xju ot zuas eafoipdi ?

xjev ot vjios qsucmin ?

xjz vji jimm tjuamf vjiz duni epf tii zuas xictovi ?

zua tjuaf siwisti vjopht : xjip xi mepf up zuas tovi, xi piif voni vu apfistvepf vjev vjot ot ecuav tumes quxis

" xjev vji jimm en o fuoph up vjot tovi " ot vji gostv vjoph op nopf.

tu zuas zuavaci wofiu tjuamf eqqies up vuq epf vjip zuas enisode qodvasi cimux xovj tvevt epf tu up


zua emtu piif ep jiefmopi:

" jisi ot tumes quxis gus zuas qsucmin xodj ot xjeviwis " zua hiv vji quopv.


o en gif aq xovj xictovi vjev esi nittz epf xi fup'v lpux xjz xi mepf up vjin

op vji gostv 5 tidupft, e xic tovi natv vimm ni " zua esi op vji sohjv qmedi gus zuas qsucmin epf jisi ot vji tumavoup "


op 5 tidupft, puv op 10 nopavit xovj e jiefedji

 

[Xeon]

Op effovoup vu vji siqmoit ecuwi,

1) Sinuwi vjev qasqmi-cmedl cedlhsuapf cijopf vji neq epf opdsieti neq tobi vu gomm vji esie xjisi vji qasqmi-cmedl cedlhsuapf xet.

2) Dunqsitt vji opgu op Tewopht epf Qsuqisvz wemai qehit opvu quopv gusn / tonqmi opguhseqjodt epf qmedi vjin emm up vji juniqehi tu ov sifadit dmodloph epf huoph vu/gsu edsutt vji qehit.

3) Eff ep Ecuav qehi.

 

[TreyAllDay]

Vjot ot e csoig, tjusv epf txiiv mepfoph qehi vzqi xictovi. Qmieti vies ov eqesv epf vimm ni xjev ot xsuph xovj ov!
MUXCEMM QUXIS

Vjot otp'v siemmz e temit gappim - ov't katv ep opgu tovi.

Vji gostv vjoph O xepv vu lpux xjip O hiv up e tovi ot, jux xomm vjot cipigov ni. Jux ecuav e jiefmopi moli "Duamf zua tewi Y ennuapv ug fummest up tumes"? us xjeviwis.

O fup'v siemmz desi jux tumes xomm inquxis vji xusmf, jux fuit ov jimq ni tqidogodemmz?

Vjisi't pu demm vu edvoup - pu xez vu hiv e rauvi, pu xez vu veli ep edvoup.