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Faulty mindset

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ChristianGDBG

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Read Millionaire Fastlane
Jan 2, 2020
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Hello,
I'm going to make an appointment with a shrink about this, though I fear shrinks have the wrong mindset to begin with and will end up telling me to get back in the slowlane....

I'm focussing day in and day out to change this mindset I have which is keeping me from succeeding. I can't act upon things.

Theoretically, there should be enough for everyone, even more than enough. Inless Warren Buffet and Billgates and everyone just holds their money ad infinitum and there isn't enough to go around, though I doubt this very much. More to the point, have this inner fear that rises every time I see a French author publishing a book to the English speaking and French speaking markets. It gives me this inner stomach turn, as if everyone in France now has access to the same information as I do. That, I will be deprived once again.

I cannot stand being inferior to other people because I don't have money sorted out. And for the life of me, I can't figure out how to make it except for slowlane jobs. It's like a virus.
I can't breakthrough this, no matter how hard I try.

Maybe, I'm not supposed to have money in my life, maybe I'm not supposed to succeed. I just can't wrap my head around it. I have no particular skills, or more to the point, I have no specialisation. I'm a jack of all trades. I have ideas, they come frequently. Though, how to bring them into reality, how to make a system,... It simply takes the living energy out of me.

I can't quite figure it out. I've never met these people, though they frustrate me beyond healthy...

Anyone have any tips, tricks to figure out this mindset problem, I can't figure it out for some reason...

Something along these lines...
 

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Dignium

Contributor
Oct 6, 2017
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Have you read Unscripted? Go read it if you haven't already.

Theoretically, there should be enough for everyone, even more than enough. Inless Warren Buffet and Billgates and everyone just holds their money ad infinitum and there isn't enough to go around, though I doubt this very much.
Wealth is not "fixed", this erroneous belief is covered briefly in Chapter 22 of Unscripted.

More to the point, have this inner fear that rises every time I see a French author publishing a book to the English speaking and French speaking markets. It gives me this inner stomach turn, as if everyone in France now has access to the same information as I do. That, I will be deprived once again.
...
Though, how to bring them into reality, how to make a system,... It simply takes the living energy out of me.

I can't quite figure it out. I've never met these people, though they frustrate me beyond healthy...
So you fear possible competition because of better information while at the same time frustrated that you don't better information to make a business system? Just because the information is out there doesn't mean everybody is going to suddenly act on it. Maybe 1% of the total readers of MJs books will actually follow the CENTS business framework, out of the percentage of readers who are in business.
 
Last edited:

alexkuzmov

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I can't act upon things.
Well why not? You can follow through? Something/someone stopping you?

everyone in France now has access to the same information as I do. That, I will be deprived once again.
People having information will not leave you deprived, thats 100% guarenteed.

I cannot stand being inferior to other people because I don't have money sorted out
Do you feel inferior to Usain Bolt for not running faster than him or you dont care?
Do you feel inferior to Hafthor Bjornsson for being able to lift more weight than you or you dont care?
You dont have money sorted out because you dont have your priorities sorted out.
Money is not about making money, its about being valuable to others.

Maybe, I'm not supposed to have money in my life, maybe I'm not supposed to succeed
Well how does success look to you? What will make you feel like you`ve succeeded?

Though, how to bring them into reality, how to make a system,... It simply takes the living energy out of me
You bring them into reality through action.
Lets say tha you want to make a product, something like childrens toy, and you are sure that people will like it and buy it.
Here is how I would go about it.
Start with drawings, put down on paper what you invision in your mind.
Then throw it in the trash and elicit a professional designer, lesson: you dot have time to learn how to do everything in this world.
After the design is finished and the colors chosen, create a prototype
Make it from wood or plastic, carve it out with a knife if you have to.
Consult with a mechanical engineer on what materials to use, show them the prototype so they can understand your idea.
....
Step 176 Try to sell your toy in bulk to all the children toy stores within your city.

There is no roadmap to follow, no one will hold your hand and point to your next action.
It all has to come from you. You have to figure it out.
 
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ChristianGDBG

ChristianGDBG

New Contributor
Read Millionaire Fastlane
Jan 2, 2020
17
7
15
France
Ok I'll pick it up in mng
Well why not? You can follow through? Something/someone stopping you?


People having information will not leave you deprived, thats 100% guarenteed.


Do you feel inferior to Usain Bolt for not running faster than him or you dont care?
Do you feel inferior to Hafthor Bjornsson for being able to lift more weight than you or you dont care?
You dont have money sorted out because you dont have your priorities sorted out.
Money is not about making money, its about being valuable to others.


Well how does success look to you? What will make you feel like you`ve succeeded?


You bring them into reality through action.
Lets say tha you want to make a product, something like childrens toy, and you are sure that people will like it and buy it.
Here is how I would go about it.
Start with drawings, put down on paper what you invision in your mind.
Then throw it in the trash and elicit a professional designer, lesson: you dot have time to learn how to do everything in this world.
After the design is finished and the colors chosen, create a prototype
Make it from wood or plastic, carve it out with a knife if you have to.
Consult with a mechanical engineer on what materials to use, show them the prototype so they can understand your idea.
....
Step 176 Try to sell your toy in bulk to all the children toy stores within your city.

There is no roadmap to follow, no one will hold your hand and point to your next action.
It all has to come from you. You have to figure it out.
Compounding actions which make money over time.

Thank you, I appreciate you taking the time to respond. Creating structures of actions, then execute
 
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ChristianGDBG

ChristianGDBG

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Read Millionaire Fastlane
Jan 2, 2020
17
7
15
France
Have you read Unscripted? Go read it if you haven't already.



Wealth is not "fixed", this erroneous belief is covered briefly in Chapter 22 of Unscripted.




So you fear possible competition because of better information while at the same time frustrated that you don't better information to make a business system? Just because the information is out there doesn't mean everybody is going to suddenly act on it. Maybe 1% of the total readers of MJs books will actually follow the CENTS business framework, out of the percentage of readers who are in business.
Yes, I agree, I need to pick it up.

And yes, That was very well put. I think that putting this into perspective is the most important part..

Contribution...
 

jpn

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Wow. That is a very unhealthy and broken mindset. No wonder you're struggling.

Based on what you wrote here, you don't need to see a shrink, you need to be around people that are living the abundant life that you also want. See how they see the world, what their mindset is.

The only difference between your reality and the reality of the people you want to be like, is how you view the world and how you act on your views. Reality is the same for everyone. But your mindset makes all the difference.
 
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ChristianGDBG

ChristianGDBG

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Read Millionaire Fastlane
Jan 2, 2020
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France
Wow. That is a very unhealthy and broken mindset. No wonder you're struggling.

Based on what you wrote here, you don't need to see a shrink, you need to be around people that are living the abundant life that you also want. See how they see the world, what their mindset is.

The only difference between your reality and the reality of the people you want to be like, is how you view the world and how you act on your views. Reality is the same for everyone. But your mindset makes all the difference.
I agree entirely. Though, being around them even costs money, the access is costly... Not that they charge money
Wow. That is a very unhealthy and broken mindset. No wonder you're struggling.

Based on what you wrote here, you don't need to see a shrink, you need to be around people that are living the abundant life that you also want. See how they see the world, what their mindset is.

The only difference between your reality and the reality of the people you want to be like, is how you view the world and how you act on your views. Reality is the same for everyone. But your mindset makes all the difference.
Well, yes. I grew up in a family with very unhealthy financial beliefs. I read as much as I can, and educate myself as possible...

Though, being around abundant people isn't something I've had much exposure to...

If I get the opportunity I'll take it.
Until then I have to work on myself.
 

jpn

Bronze Contributor
FASTLANE INSIDER
Read Millionaire Fastlane
I've Read UNSCRIPTED
Speedway Pass
May 6, 2017
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188
Netherlands
Though, being around them even costs money, the access is costly
Nonsense. I don't know how old you are or where you live, but if it's anywhere near a good population center, you can go to meetups/events at business incubators, networking organizations, etc. for free. Not everyone there is going to be a star. But some will be. That's how I started to train a new mindset. Meet a new class of people and start businesses with them.

(If you're not near a population center, then move to one. Money is made from other people giving it to you, you can't make money without enough people around to give it to you. Also opportunity density and likeminded people etc.)

Well, yes. I grew up in a family with very unhealthy financial beliefs. I read as much as I can, and educate myself as possible...
So did I. Now I'm on my 3rd business, have more money than before (still not FU money), and am happier than ever. Mindset is a key part of that. I read a lot, but my mindset didn't change from reading. It changed from seeing. Seeing people that were no smarter than me. Seeing people that did not work any harder than me. Seeing these people succeed in doing things I though would be impossible. That's what changed my mindset. When I started working with them to build things together.

If I get the opportunity I'll take it.
This is weak. You're giving away control to the universe. Take the control. Create the opportunity where this will happen. Don't hope for it.
 

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Jon L

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The way you speak of finding the right mindset reminds me a little of people trying to learn to program. Programming is a VAST field of expertise. Setting up an autopilot on a 737 is different from programming a nuclear reactor is night and day different from a point of sale system, a game or a stock picker. Learning to program is much better done in the context of an active project with real-world problems to solve.

Mindset is a vast topic and applies to almost everything in life. Dealing with it is best handled in the context of a specific problem.

What I am I recommending is that you set up a project for yourself and work with a psychologist or therapist to help you think it through. You don't have to have an actual business that you're building to start a project. A project might be:

Find a business idea that has a good chance of making money, that you have the skills to accomplish.

There will be a ton of things that come up with just that as an initial project.

* fear of failure
* self doubt
* feeling nervous / anxious / stupid / whatever

Once you pick something that you could reasonably be successful with yourself, start building it and go over your inner dialog with your therapist.
 

Primeperiwinkle

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If you grew up in an environment where you were afraid regularly, fear or inaction could be your personal Comfort Zone.

Inaction could also be tied to a value you admire, like maybe you’re being “conscientious” by assessing risks constantly or analyzing every situation.

I recommend EMDR therapy or The Sedona Method by Dale Hwoskin.

You sound trapped dude, I’m sorry you’re scared.

The thing is though, you take action on lots of things every day.. you just don’t notice those because they aren’t tied to making money. You wipe your butt after you take a crap, you feed yourself, you take a shower, etc, etc.

You’re a LOT more active and capable than you think you are.
 

DragoonDB

Contributor
Oct 17, 2018
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Wisconsin
There have been a lot of good responses, and it's been good to see you interact and listen to the comments that have been provided by others.

I think you're in a place that others pass through at least occasionally - I know I do. I assume most of the members here are on their way and succeeding, while I struggle at times relative to my goals; I'm not where I want to be. It can certainly be a pressure when you feel behind where you think you should be. The internet also has a way of showing only success - either not showing the process to get there, or sometimes the imagery all being a facade.

It sounds like you're in a valley, and lack of progress may be causing you to question everything. I'll echo or add onto some things already said:

1. What do you want? What does success look like for you? If you don't have this, you'll be aimless. Besides, there has to be something beyond money. Money is a vehicle, so whatever you're working toward - it would be good for you to be clear on it.

2. Find ways to set goals, either business or otherwise. Personally, I ended up getting a step counting watch last year (work anniversary gift). What I ended up doing is setting a daily step goal and making sure I hit that goal no matter what. My thought now is that if I can hit that goal, I can do the same with business as well.

3. Pick something to give a try and don't chase. Time and effort will be required, and in that challenge it can be easy to abort and move on to something else. Please, don't keep moving between ideas; go deep and narrow, not shallow and wide.

I will link to another thread:


I've enjoyed reading this. I just never gave this route the appreciation it deserved, and my introspection is saying this is probably a better fit. I have a process-based mind, so managing and optimizing may be a better fit than the romanticized idea of creating from the ground up.

You know you, so if you need to partner this up with licensed help than make sure you get right. Just know that all is not lost and don't settle; there's so damn much out there, even if you haven't tapped it yet.
 
OP
OP
ChristianGDBG

ChristianGDBG

New Contributor
Read Millionaire Fastlane
Jan 2, 2020
17
7
15
France
Read TMF, Secrets of the millionaire mind and Think & grow rich. That should help immensely.
TFM
Nonsense. I don't know how old you are or where you live, but if it's anywhere near a good population center, you can go to meetups/events at business incubators, networking organizations, etc. for free. Not everyone there is going to be a star. But some will be. That's how I started to train a new mindset. Meet a new class of people and start businesses with them.

(If you're not near a population center, then move to one. Money is made from other people giving it to you, you can't make money without enough people around to give it to you. Also opportunity density and likeminded people etc.)


So did I. Now I'm on my 3rd business, have more money than before (still not FU money), and am happier than ever. Mindset is a key part of that. I read a lot, but my mindset didn't change from reading. It changed from seeing. Seeing people that were no smarter than me. Seeing people that did not work any harder than me. Seeing these people succeed in doing things I though would be impossible. That's what changed my mindset. When I started working with them to build things together.


This is weak. You're giving away control to the universe. Take the control. Create the opportunity where this will happen. Don't hope for it.

Nonsense. I don't know how old you are or where you live, but if it's anywhere near a good population center, you can go to meetups/events at business incubators, networking organizations, etc. for free. Not everyone there is going to be a star. But some will be. That's how I started to train a new mindset. Meet a new class of people and start businesses with them.

(If you're not near a population center, then move to one. Money is made from other people giving it to you, you can't make money without enough people around to give it to you. Also opportunity density and likeminded people etc.)


So did I. Now I'm on my 3rd business, have more money than before (still not FU money), and am happier than ever. Mindset is a key part of that. I read a lot, but my mindset didn't change from reading. It changed from seeing. Seeing people that were no smarter than me. Seeing people that did not work any harder than me. Seeing these people succeed in doing things I though would be impossible. That's what changed my mindset. When I started working with them to build things together.


This is weak. You're giving away control to the universe. Take the control. Create the opportunity where this will happen. Don't hope for it.
Well I do agree with this. We learn by doing, and mostly we change as a result to being on the field.





I also agree with seeing "people who are no smarter than you", seeing others succeed in front of us opens new doors.





Though, for"giving my hopes to the universe", I live in an isolated village in the south of France, the closest town is about an hour away. Without getting a day job, I can't see how thats possible.


Now I bring this up, not because I'm lazy, but because I am dealing with heal issues.





Currently, the only thing I can take control of is my time allegation, my effort (reading, writing, walking, cycling), my diet, and hopefully my mindset.





To physically go to another town I need cash. So that is out of the equation for the moment. My first intuition is to write a book, somehow, to create a primary flow albeit it being small.
 
OP
OP
ChristianGDBG

ChristianGDBG

New Contributor
Read Millionaire Fastlane
Jan 2, 2020
17
7
15
France
The way you speak of finding the right mindset reminds me a little of people trying to learn to program. Programming is a VAST field of expertise. Setting up an autopilot on a 737 is different from programming a nuclear reactor is night and day different from a point of sale system, a game or a stock picker. Learning to program is much better done in the context of an active project with real-world problems to solve.

Mindset is a vast topic and applies to almost everything in life. Dealing with it is best handled in the context of a specific problem.

What I am I recommending is that you set up a project for yourself and work with a psychologist or therapist to help you think it through. You don't have to have an actual business that you're building to start a project. A project might be:

Find a business idea that has a good chance of making money, that you have the skills to accomplish.

There will be a ton of things that come up with just that as an initial project.

* fear of failure
* self doubt
* feeling nervous / anxious / stupid / whatever

Once you pick something that you could reasonably be successful with yourself, start building it and go over your inner dialog with your therapist.

I do agree with this. The programming of mindset is to do essentially with the activity at hand. Though, working one’s mindset up through sports/physical activity is a good way to build positivity in the first place, until I gain access to the real world activities.





Sure, that sounds like something I’m thinking of.


It’s that inner dialog which isn’t productive. Though, yes I have lots of things to face deep down before which inhibit me from taking the appropriate action.





It all starts in the mind.





So far, the reason I don’t start anything, is because I keep on deconstructing any Idea I have until its boney structure becomes thin air. I can’t help but notice everything wrong with it. Which is helpful in some situations. Though, probably not in everyday constance in groups of people working together…
 
OP
OP
ChristianGDBG

ChristianGDBG

New Contributor
Read Millionaire Fastlane
Jan 2, 2020
17
7
15
France
If you grew up in an environment where you were afraid regularly, fear or inaction could be your personal Comfort Zone.

Inaction could also be tied to a value you admire, like maybe you’re being “conscientious” by assessing risks constantly or analyzing every situation.

I recommend EMDR therapy or The Sedona Method by Dale Hwoskin.

You sound trapped dude, I’m sorry you’re scared.

The thing is though, you take action on lots of things every day.. you just don’t notice those because they aren’t tied to making money. You wipe your butt after you take a crap, you feed yourself, you take a shower, etc, etc.

You’re a LOT more active and capable than you think you are.

I’m pretty sure it is. Between a mother who’d find something critical about an idea or dream, or a father who’d obsesses over safety and staying away from “the big bad world”… causing inaction.


Though, the point isn’t to stay in the past. This summer, I went to Barcelona and found myself surrounded by tones of positive, upbeat, interesting, entrepreneurial type people.





Though, in my mind, I didn’t belong there. I feel and think I need to build something from where I am first, and once that works, I can then go out in to the world and do more.. (ie. Writing/build a website ..)





Actually, that is exactly it. I see everything wrong with the ideas that come up, which end up being deconstructed into oblivion…


I’m working on a gratitude journal at the end of each day to find what I like about firstly my environment, but then with what I like in everyday situations so I can extrapolate what I like from my ideas further down the line.





I am physically trapped, my location.


Though, I must use this to my advantage. No social, no extra spending on triple mockachinos, no clubs, no social time wasting, etc… I can simply focus on my Now and hopefully get things done.





My hope is to write a book or two to create a form of cash inflow which will ease up my location situation first.





I do take action, physically, I chose my diet, foods, what I read, how I stretch, what I write, etc. I just don’t have much power over my current savings.





Though this to me feels like what I heard on Naval Ravicants podcast last night. The programmer who works an 11 year project only to get a big pay on the 11th year. To me, it seems like it will be a struggle until I complete this first writing project/book selling project.





I go between confidence and fear. The first feels like everything is exactly how it should be, the latter becomes self doubt where I wonder how I can take control over my life…





And Thank you
 
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OP
ChristianGDBG

ChristianGDBG

New Contributor
Read Millionaire Fastlane
Jan 2, 2020
17
7
15
France
There have been a lot of good responses, and it's been good to see you interact and listen to the comments that have been provided by others.

I think you're in a place that others pass through at least occasionally - I know I do. I assume most of the members here are on their way and succeeding, while I struggle at times relative to my goals; I'm not where I want to be. It can certainly be a pressure when you feel behind where you think you should be. The internet also has a way of showing only success - either not showing the process to get there, or sometimes the imagery all being a facade.

It sounds like you're in a valley, and lack of progress may be causing you to question everything. I'll echo or add onto some things already said:

1. What do you want? What does success look like for you? If you don't have this, you'll be aimless. Besides, there has to be something beyond money. Money is a vehicle, so whatever you're working toward - it would be good for you to be clear on it.

2. Find ways to set goals, either business or otherwise. Personally, I ended up getting a step counting watch last year (work anniversary gift). What I ended up doing is setting a daily step goal and making sure I hit that goal no matter what. My thought now is that if I can hit that goal, I can do the same with business as well.

3. Pick something to give a try and don't chase. Time and effort will be required, and in that challenge it can be easy to abort and move on to something else. Please, don't keep moving between ideas; go deep and narrow, not shallow and wide.

I will link to another thread:


I've enjoyed reading this. I just never gave this route the appreciation it deserved, and my introspection is saying this is probably a better fit. I have a process-based mind, so managing and optimizing may be a better fit than the romanticized idea of creating from the ground up.

You know you, so if you need to partner this up with licensed help than make sure you get right. Just know that all is not lost and don't settle; there's so damn much out there, even if you haven't tapped it yet.
That I also agree with. The bridge between where I believe I should be, for myself and in others eyes. Albeit, rationally knowing that I haven’t done enough to claim that.


Also, the comparison from what everyone else is Doing and achieving…





Though, at this point I’ve pretty much cut myself off from social media, it takes too much mental energy and I end up scattered.





I am nearly in a valley. I’m in a tiny cut off village on a hill.


And lack of uptodate mindset isn’t always helpful. While being in Cork/Dublin/Barcelona, I found myself to regain confidence quickly and stop doubting things. Though, my finances were taken care of by slowlaning… and my wealth still depended on me physically needing to be strong and be there every day… Thus the vicious loop of coming back to this tiny village where my mother lives, in order to take the time to write a book or so to create some sort of passive income…





Thank you for 1.2.and3. I found these questions valuable.


I’ll take the time to answer them in depth for myself first, but then for the forum incase I’m delusional about wanting these things…





Managing and optimising sounds like something I’m probably more capable of so far. Though, I want to go through the gruntwork of figuring out how to start from the ground up, thats important. Even if I have to look like an idiot in the process…





Thank you, this means a lot. And yes, thats another frustration. Seeing all the opportunities, and not being able to grasp them…


It’s infuriating…
 

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