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Fake friends and family

Discussion in 'People & Relationships' started by Brian Suh, Mar 19, 2019.

  1. Brian Suh
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    Brian Suh Bronze Contributor Speedway Pass

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    Feeling so happy and grateful in the direction that my life is headed. All this joy is great but I fear that this will make people who tried to hurt me try to get back in my circle which then makes me paranoid instead of being open in this world which is what is needed to continue to grow. Anyone else feel this?
     
  2. Real Deal Denver
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    Real Deal Denver Gold Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass

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    Been there, bought the whole T-Shirt Shop. Several times, in fact.

    Listen carefully... I am an expert on this.

    1) You are in charge of your life.
    2) You set the boundaries and make ALL the rules.
    3) Nobody can interfere with you OR make you feel bad without YOUR permission.
    4) An insult from anyone means NOTHING - UNLESS you allow it to. Nobody - I repeat NOBODY can insult you without YOUR permission. Read this one over until you get it!!! Learn to laugh at insults. You're fat and stupid if you don't. Did that hurt your feelings? My point exactly!
    5) The past is dead. You can't change it - and it can't hurt you - unless you LET it!!! When the past rears its ugly head, I pretend it's a TV show, and I can control the color - pause or play, and control the speed. Sometimes I pretend to speed it up so everyone sounds like Mickey Mouse. And as they're belittling me, I say "what? Can you talk slower? Your voice is kind of funny - did you know that? How long is this going to take? Haven't we already discussed this? What makes you think I have time for a loser like you in the first place..." and on and on - you get the point. Control it. Twist it around. Talk back. Laugh at it.

    That's a lot. Take a breather. We're gonna hit the hard stuff next.

    6) You are what you THINK you are.
    7) You can achieve anything you believe.
    8) You are living in the greatest time in the history of the world.
    9) You have unlimited resources of knowledge at your fingertips - such as Google.
    10) You will decide to be happy and grateful - or not. (which you stated you are!)

    Now, let me throw in a couple of assumptions...

    11) You are young and have many DECADES ahead in your life.
    12) You are in good health and strong.
    13) You're here. Great advice and knowledge are here are for your taking.

    And one more, just for good measure.

    14) You are not cocky and full of yourself. You are here to get advice because you have an open mind and realize there is much you can learn from others.

    Not let me list all the points that I see that are against you.

    1) Give me some time - I'll come up with something! For someone fat and stupid, you're kind of pushy aren't you? Quit rushing me!

    Point made? Success comes from experience. Experience comes from bad situations and/or bad events - even if all of that may have been out of your control. Crap happens. Learn from it. Learn from your mistakes and never let them happen again. Better still, learn from the mistakes of others, and how to avoid them.

    See? All the shit that has happened in my life - and look how much I've learned? You can learn something from everything - even if it's how to be humbled and thankful that things "could" have been worse. Sometimes that's what I tell myself - well, it could have been worse. I'm still standing. There is a lesson in everything.

    Stay happy, grateful, and humble. Be kind. Everyone has a struggle of some kind that they are dealing with. And one more - forgive. Forgiving doesn't mean you're saying it's okay - it might not ever be okay. That's alright to feel that way. Forgiving is moving PAST something or someone and going forward with your life. Cutting the rope. Letting it go.

    Everything I've said is so simple. Mastering it can take a lifetime. I have by no means mastered it, but I'm getting a little better all the time. And that's okay by me - because my standards are what I live by - nobody else's.

    I would say good luck - but I don't believe in luck. I believe a person makes their own luck. Follow all this advice - make progress every day - drop any guilt or bad feelings - and you will know no limits, my friend. No limits.

    I also draw great strength from my beliefs in something far greater than this world - search for that, and when you find it, it will strengthen and guide you even more.
     
  3. Brian Suh
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    Brian Suh Bronze Contributor Speedway Pass

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    Great post man and everything you said resonated with me. The only thing is letting people back in my life who hurt me but I'll get over it. Thanks man. Pumped as all hell to be a part of this community.
     
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  4. Real Deal Denver
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    Real Deal Denver Gold Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass

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    Yeah I know.

    That's why you have these two very powerful tools...

    Imagine the awe they will have when they see the "new you" that has moved past the past. You are now on a quest for much bigger and better things. You don't have time for the things you've already paid the price to learn. You're going forward, and with each day you're a little stronger and a little smarter.

    You're going to be a role model for them. Everyone makes mistakes - everyone has been screwed with and hurt - and everyone has a past. NOT everyone lets it affect them. I think I've relived and suffered everything in my past at least 20 times each. There comes a time when you just get tired of it over and over and PUSH it out of your life. The void left in you will be filled with new hope, excitement, and happiness. You may have to "start over" 100 or more times - as I did. But it will all be worth it. The past is like a bitter scorned woman that hurt you. She doesn't want to see you go on ahead and be happy. Too bad - but the truth of it is, she's not in charge of that. Cut the rope and leave her where she belongs. A memory.

    Get some motivational books. Books exercise your mind. The right kind of books feed and nourish your mind.

    "Change your thoughts and change your world." Norman Vincent Peale
     
  5. Brian Suh
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    Brian Suh Bronze Contributor Speedway Pass

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    Looking back this post sounds sappy and whiny. It should teach me a lesson that the only thing I own is myself and my balls. Be self reliant and dont expect anything from anybody.
     
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  6. Real Deal Denver
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    Real Deal Denver Gold Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass

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    I'm sappy and whiny. The way you say it makes it sound like it's a bad thing.

    I have a brother that is an action hero. Does everything himself, has to know everything everyone else knows - allows nobody to have anything up on him in any way.

    I don't enjoy talking to him. He is a super-hero know it all. If I do know something, he has to drill down to extract the core of my knowledge. Not anymore. It gets tiring dealing with these type A personalities that have to be the leader all the time. Nobody can know everything. Give it a freaking break.

    Be yourself. Show some compassion and interest sometimes. It's not a weakness, as some think it is. A quarterback can't win the game all on his own. Step aside and let someone have the limelight every so often. In fact, the more I know, the less I talk. I don't feel the need to be front and center. I'd much rather listen and respond. The funny thing is that the more I listen, the more intelligent I appear. I learn a lot more that way too.

    I'd much rather discuss things with you than many of the superstars I know. Don't put on a hardened exterior. It gets real tiring real fast.

    The amazing thing is that most of the superstars I know think that everyone greatly admires them. Ha! If they only knew.
     
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  7. The Abundant Man
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    The Abundant Man Gold Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass

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    3 things:
    Values
    Standards
    Boundaries


    These 3 go hand in hand.

    What do you value in yourself and what do you value in other people?
    In Psychology, there is the Assortment Effect where nature assorts people with similar values, beliefs and perceptions together.

    Why are people on this forum? Because we value unscription, fastlane and entrepreneurship.

    Do you value exercise? Do you value a healthy lifestyle? The things that you value will reflect on yourself and the people that you attract.



    Then you create standards and boundaries around your values.

    If I'm on a date with a girl and she starts making fun of my friends. I'd tell her that I don't tolerate that. Then I'd leave.

    If you value kindness and helping others. Then be kind and help other people. You attract those kinds of people.

    The people that you hang around with have 1 thing in common-YOU!

    If you don't like the people you hang around with. Either you have to change yourself or choose better friends.

    If you want people to be open and honest with you then be open and honest with others. If anyone is not honest with you immediately cut them out. You don't them and they don't need you.
     
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  8. The Abundant Man
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    The Abundant Man Gold Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass

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  9. Brian Suh
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    Brian Suh Bronze Contributor Speedway Pass

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    Hey man nothing against you. I thought your post was
    Hey man nothing against you. I thought your post was very insightful. The thing is that I just need my mission in life and those that want to join can hop aboard, but I am not going to chase. The main thing is finding people who like me for me, not what I can give them.
     
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  10. Brian Suh
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    Brian Suh Bronze Contributor Speedway Pass

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    This is the truth. The people that have hurt me are those who did drugs. I did drugs with them but left that lifestyle 5 years ago. Optimistic about the future though and the lifestyle I am living. Hope to meet you guys on here one day.
     
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  11. Real Deal Denver
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    Real Deal Denver Gold Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass

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    LOL - I was going to let this go by, but you do need a bit of insight so you can have one more tool in your arsenal to use.

    That was a joke - very dry humor. Doesn't come across well in written form. Sorry.

    Let me give you another example. Suppose someone came up to me and said they don't like me because I'm a loud obnoxious self-centered jerk. How do I respond to that?

    Rather than choose an in-your-face confrontation, I could say, "hey everyone knows that about me, but the way YOU say it makes it sound like it's a bad thing or something." Ha! Kind of funny and leaves em wondering why that punch they just threw in my face sailed right on by without me even flinching. It's a form of "superior" comeback. Instead of saying, well YOU are a blah, blah, blah - and then we have two children trying to outdo each other... take the high road and see the surprise on their face.

    Another comeback could be - "Yes, so what's your point?" Ya baby - I just agreed with them. That's priceless to see them stammer and try to recover.

    One of my favorite "witty comebacks" was from Winston Churchill. A woman said that he was a worthless drunk and if he was her husband she would poison his tea. His response was that if she was his wife, he'd drink the tea! Kaaaaa BAM. There is the ART of the insult.

    Eventually, when you become somewhat demented, like me, you will actually look FORWARD to some clown spouting off. It becomes a sport - but I always practice catch and release. I want them coming back again and again - and they do.

    I had to add this so you can be even BETTER prepared for future encounters that could be uncomfortable - but now, with a little planning, you can enjoy turning the tables on them.

    And if they say something really mean... "And I suppose you're going to remind me that I'm fat/ugly/stupid too! OHHHH the pain!!!" Then smile and walk away. Don't forget the smile.

    Soon, you too will be saying "bring it baby." Just bring it.
     
    ZF Lee likes this.

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