What were some of the Sacrifices you had to make?

[Gabeseg]

Hello guys,
MJ, you are the man. I knew about you from the rich dad forum back in 2005; Your story inspired me, although I have not achieve the dream of financial independce, I strive for it day after day. Well alittle about me, I work at a day job which I "hate." I'm over- work and underpaid and underapprceiated. It's like no matter how hard I try, my boss always gets on my case. I can never do anything right. But nontheless, the income is okay.. Good enough to pay the bills, and afte the bills, I have some money left over for my online business. Well, I wanted to ask you guys who have reached the goal of being out of the rat race and freed from the corporate world this question: "What were some of the sacrfice you had to make to get to where you are at? The reason I asked that is because right now, I am at a cross road. My girl wants us to take a trip to Italy for a week vacation... I on the other hand, although I want to go, I just don't think that taking a trip out now to Italy is a smart decision especially, blowing the earned income that I worked blood and tears for. I would rather use that money and put it back into my business, but she doesnt seem to understand. When I tried to explain to her how I am close to making this business workout, she tells me"that is what you have being saying for the last year and half... She is loosing believe in me. Right now although the business generates some revenue, it is still not that strong enough for me to leave my day job. At this time, I am just thinking about kicking her to the curb, and letting her go, but she has stood by me for some time now. So what were some of the sacrifice that you guys had to make where you knew that if you didn't make those sacrifce it would have killed or slow down being able to achieve and obtain financial freedom. Honestly I really want to let her go because she and I think opposite. She doesn't understand the value of a dollar or what it means to delay gratification. For her, it's all about live for today. But she has stood beside me now for some time and she is a smoking hot... If you were in my shoes, what would you do? Would you take the trip to Italy, knowing that it can slow down the business you are trying to build, but eventually please your love one? Or would you just let her go and focus on the business.... I am curious to know your opinions. Thanks...

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[FDJustin]

So basically, the problem is, she isn't on the same page. Either because of a lack of education, personality conflict, or both. The first is pretty easy to fix, you just gotta work at nailing in the concepts and that you are going to continue following them. How you do this depends on what you've noticed for what gets her to respond to something well.

The other part might be a wee bit harder. If her personality conflicts with it, most likely the best you can hope to do is set up boundaries, make her understand what they are, and work at improving your mutual QOL outside of them. You might not be willing to blow your money on a vacation, but surely there are lots of little things that you can do together that will bring value to your relationship.

To be frank, being together for over a year and a half harboring not so delicately put thoughts of breaking up with her is not a very good sign that you get along as the best of lovers. That can be improved.

 

[Rickson9]

So what were some of the sacrifice that you guys had to make where you knew that if you didn't make those sacrifce it would have killed or slow down being able to achieve and obtain financial freedom.

First, thank you for sharing! Your perspective is very interesting! I would be wary of saying that you are "right" and your girlfriend is "wrong". It is likely more accurate to say that both opinions are different - both are valid.

I can understand your point of view (delay of gratification; focus on business milestones) and I can understand her point of view (wanting to spend time with her boyfriend on vacation; wanting to live for the moment).

Being future oriented is no better and no worse than being present oriented. Life is not all about how much or how fast an individual can amass paper. Ask any cancer survivor - it's not even close.

Second, speaking only for myself, although I was an entrepreneur in the past I later switched to being an investor. As an entrepreneur I had to make a lot of sacrifices simply because, for me, a business ate up a lot of time (60 hour weeks is normal). As an investor I haven't made any sacrifices because investors ride on the coattails of entrepreneurs. I barely work at all at the moment and am more focused on playing the newly released World of Warcraft: Cataclysm.

I find a motivated and driven entrepreneur and let them do their thing.

Third, again speaking for myself, I would take the trip to Italy with my loved one - being focused on the vacation (as opposed to going to Italy and basically being mentally absent; focused on the business). Keep in mind that I am saying this from a perspective of having money. However, having said that, I would like to think that even if I didn't have the money, I would still make the same choice. At the moment, relationships > money.

Whatever you two decide, I wish you both well and godspeed!

Best regards.

 

[FDJustin]

Sometimes I envy you, Rickson. Which, is a good thing with me.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Gabeseg]

Thank you both for your input.. I can defintely see where you both are coming from. For me personally, like I said, I would not mind going to Italy with her. But by going now when I haven't reach my dreams of bein financial free, would I not be jeapordazing my plan to be able to get out of the rat race? Having reading Rich dad, Poor dad many years ago( RK, your book changed my life), one of the rules is to "mind your own business." I think as a society as a whole, we are condition to think like everyone else and to do what everyone does.... I mean sure I can go to Italy and blow a couple grand and have a good time, but man years ago when I read the autobiography of sam Walton (founder of Wal mart), when he becmae the richest man in the world, he was still driving his old beat up pick truck and when a news reported asked him "with all the money that you have , why are you driving this old pick up truck," Sam Replied "Oh, I guess I just like my truck." This is a man that saw the future. Because of him learning to value a dollar, his business will go on for generation to gneration, and his great grand kids may never have to work again (assuming they manage the business well) due to one man paying the price. Many of us that come to this forum are looking to create wealth for our families and that is why we come here because coming to this forum keeps us motivated and we learn each and everyday, but how important is it to delay gratifcation when striving for a future that can change your life and your generations to come. I know many have the perspective "Oh, money is not that important, or it's about love, or peace, etc, " but try to go a whole month without money and see how important money is. I guess to know if some of you fast lane millionaires had to give up relationships due to it getting in the way of your goals and success and after giving up those relationships, did you later regret it or was it worth it. Would like to hear some feedbacks. Thanks

 

[David]

Only you can answer this question yourself, follow you gut. 3 years ago I had a choice to go on a holiday to Thailand which would end up costing me 15k including myself and partner. I had all the money saved up, but decided to go when I was actually read and instead invest it into a small business venture. My ROI almost quadrupled within 3 years. I ended up taking this holiday 3 years later, the best part is that it was for 'free', I did not work blood, sweat and tears to achieve it, nor did I reach into my own pockets to pay for it.

 

[Rickson9]

Speaking for myself, it is more interesting and fulfilling for me to spend money on time with the people I care about than on things re: Sam's comment about his truck.

Best regards.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[NHS]

Thankfully I have a really good girl and has enough respect to let me make my mistakes and not judge me. If I have to work 7 days she is very supportive. I don't think I could make it work with someone else.

On the other hand we are getting married in May. I have just started raking in the cash the last 2 months and now have to spend another 20k for a wedding. Already put 15k towards it. I just really got things going and now feel this is really going to hurt my growth. Invest your time and energy where you see fit.

If your girl makes you happy and you want to marry her then put your goals on hold for a week. 1.5 years on your goal I think you can take a week off.

If you don't really care about her then as you said "kick her to the curb." Waste of time to continue a relationship you don't care about and then you can focus even more on business.

 

[Runum]

To me, your disagreement with this girl is bigger than just this trip.

If you are with this girl for a future relationship then you two have to get on the same page or there are going to be real bad days ahead. If she's a spender and you are a business builder, you will not see things the same way. You need to be able to compromise now or it won't work later.

Have you asked her, why Italy and why now? Italy will be there next year or the next.

Suggestion: If you want to compromise, take a Italy themed vacation more locally. Find Italian themed businesses in your area and spend a week or so visiting them.

If you two can't reach a compromise on this now, I don't see any reason to continue your relationship. I wish you both well.

 

[TOPGUY]

i was in a similar situation a couple years back, and I kicked the gf to the curb, and focused on my business until it was successful, then at that time i picked up an even hotter gf.

focus on yourself first,

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Russ H]

i was in a similar situation a couple years back, and I kicked the gf to the curb, and focused on my business until it was successful, then at that time i picked up an even hotter gf.

focus on yourself first,

Some great advice on this thread.

And some stuff that really bothers me.

If you're hooking up to have sex and good times, and she's just as likely to kick you out on your a** as you would to her, then that defines your relationship.

If, on the other hand, you're looking to build equity investing in your life together, then even the thought of "kicking someone to the curb" is reprehensible. Yeah, it may sound sick, or fly, or cool (depending on what generation you're from), but the bottom line is: You're making a decision that is decidedly about YOU, and not really taking into account what happens to others.

If you do this, be it in business or in personal life, you will find that others will also treat you this way-- and-- perhaps more important-- you will gain a reputation as someone who looks out for #1, and cares little about others.

Contrast this with someone who is looking out for #1, but is ALSO trying to make sure others are taken care of as well. Sometimes this means taking less. And sometimes it means just treating the other parties with respect, and kindness.

I'm all about "win-wins". I find that others *want* to work w/me because of it. Being kind does not mean being weak. On the contrary, you have to come from a position of strength.

Bottom line, my advice is this:

If you work on things together, you will find that lots of people enjoy working w/you-- and-- that your business and/or personal life flourishes.

If, on the other hand, you are only out for #1, you many find yourself quite successful . .

. . . and alone.

-Russ H.

 

[Gabeseg]

Russ,
I respect your opinion as well as many others on this forum.. But sometimes in life, I do feel that you do have to look out for number 1. Because if you don't, other people can sabotage your growth and success. The way I see it is that if one doesn't make the necessary sacrifices for their dreams and goals in life, then their dream will be sacrifice. But her and I have been together for sometime now, I just don't want to throw all that away all for a trip to Italy. I wish she can see from my presepctive that once I achieve financial success, instead of going to Italy for just one week, her and I can spend a couple of months in Italy. Man, I have a tough decision to make. To continue to pursue my dream or to put it aside for now and take the trip with her. That saying is so true by Isaac Newton"For every action, their is an equal and opposite reaction." If I go, I would blow a couple thousand dollars. If I dont go, It can breakapart our relationship. And this lady is stunningly beautiful. Wow; will give it some thought. Thanks for all your feedbacks. Would like to hear from others if you had to go through this yourself and what decision did u make? Do you later regret it? I guess, my hangup is if she leaves, just not being able to meet another hotter lady like her.....

 

[FDJustin]

There's a saying about it being cheaper to rent...

But basically, what Russ is saying isn't to set number one side. It's that you can satisfy number one without having to stomp on everyone else to do it. The concept of win win is to work out a way that you don't lose, but you don't just take. This makes it so other people are happy with how you do things, too.

I wish she can see from my presepctive that once I achieve financial success, instead of going to Italy for just one week, her and I can spend a couple of months in Italy.

What have you done to share that perspective with her since making your initial post?

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Rickson9]

No offense, but speaking only my opinion, if a short trip to Italy can cause such chaos with the business I have to wonder about a few things, namely the quality of the business and the entrepreneur.

In addition, promising a better future later comes off like a tactic used by less-than-honourable sales people. That's probably why it wouldn't be received very well.

Again, I'm only speaking from my perspective. It may not apply.

 

[NHS]

I guess, my hangup is if she leaves, just not being able to meet another hotter lady like her.....

Sounds like you got alot of growing to do.

 

[Anon3587x]

In the book "In tune with the infinite" which is more famously known as the book that immediately inspired Henry Ford to go after "it".
There reads a paragraph that goes something like this.

"Rather you are the optimist or the pessimist you are correct. The optimist creates a heaven in his thoughts through out each situation while the pessimist creates his own hell. "

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Russ H]

In the book "In tune with the infinite" (more famously known as the book that immediately inspired Henry Ford to go after "it"), there reads a paragraph that goes something like this:

"Rather you are the optimist or the pessimist you are correct. The optimist creates a heaven in his thoughts through out each situation while the pessimist creates his own hell. "

I'm guessing reading that prompted Henry Ford to adopt his famous motto:

"Whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right"

-Russ H.

 

[Anon3587x]

Your right Russ I suppose it did.

The seed of thought sprouted into its own.

 

[rocksolid]

Relationships are about making sacrifices and being flexible to your partner. How long will it take to get your company up and running the way you want it too? Maybe you can set up a time frame and say let’s go to Italy in the summer. This gives you 6 months to get the website running the way you want. You should also have a talk with her to see if you can get on the same page. When was the last time you went on vacation? I am a true believer on re-charging the batteries every now and then. I have been to Italy and all I can say is do it when you’re young and have no kids, do more than 7 days…..at least 10. Bring a good camera and Video camera and drink Cappuccino every day, the best I have ever had. Going to Italy was a growth experience that I will have with me for the rest of my life and it allowed me to see things in a new way. It might be the thing you need. It’s only money and you can and will make more. Enjoy life and smell the roses. Life will be here when you get back.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Gabeseg]

Thank yo for all your feedbacks; I guess I was following RK philosophy to the core which is that the rich buy and build assets first and let their assest buy their luxury such as cars, clothes, vacations, etc; RIght now, I am netting about $2400 per month on this business. Bt You guys are right. We spoke and her and I came to conclusion that we will be going on our trip to Italy in 3 weeks; Anyways, I guess I need to recharge my body mind and soul. Working full time at my job and doing the business also, sleeping 4/5 hrs a day is begining to wear me do; So, that is basically what I will be doing. Like rock solid say, you can always make the money back; That is true. I guess I just hate this job that I am doing and just want to be able to walk away from it asap and thought going on vaction would slow me down. But anyways, thanks for your feedback, I appreciate it.

 

[Rickson9]

Have a great time and remember to be focused on the present with your girl!

 

[Luke12321]

I am only 25 so my wisdom on relationships only go so far....but my last girlfriend I was with had a issue with me being self employed. She had a hard time understanding that I could, to a point....work when I wanted. When I took a day or two off during the middle of a week, she called me lazy. She was a sidewalker. Her parents were sidewalkers. Both of her parents had worked hard at a job for probably 30 years, yet both were still renting and owned really nothing of value and was in debt.

We had a long discussion on a trip to Atlanta one afternoon, she told me that she would never be rich. She would never be able to have passive income to support her lifestyle and essentially said I was dreaming if I thought I would achieve it. I am sure her family didn't think much of me, I am just a guy selling on ebay. What they didn't understand is that I do it by choice, because I make more money doing it than most anyone else could by working a job at my age and educational background.

Relationships are hard, but you will figure it out. Key thing for me was to always be true to yourself and understanding of the other person as well. I understood her parents raised her in a lifestyle that involved trading 5 for 2, investing money in automobiles rather than assets that will make money. I could only tell her why I am doing what I am doing....it was her choice to support me or not. (She is a ex now :-/ )

Sorry for the rambling, but most everyone who is single or dating and trying to enter the fastlane will face this type of situation. I say, stay true to yourself and your dreams but also listen to your partners dreams and beliefs. She/he may not want to create a fastlane for themselves but they may decide to support you in your quest for it and you can support them in whatever they decide to go after...whether it be career wise or personal life.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Rickson9]

I am only 25 so my wisdom on relationships only go so far....

That is wisdom right there.

Insightful post. Thanks for sharing and all the best to you!

 

[Gabeseg]

Thanks Rickson9 and all of you guys. Life is more important than the money you have in your bank account or the car you drive; Although I am working at a job that doesn't fullfill me and making me miserable, by going on this trip, this will motivate me to work harder so that I can get out of the rat race and to be do as so as I please. Anyways, I am glad that I came to this forum conversating with millionaires, who see that their is no shortage of money and their is an abundace of wealth; I guess I am still condition as life being scarce and trying to do my best to save a buck; Sometimes, one has to ask a person who has been there and done that; And I am glad that i came to the forum; Anyways, thanks for all your inputs; I appreciate it fully....

 

[Gabeseg]

Hello Fastlaners,
Just got back form my trip with my girl. I want to share my experience with some of you so hopefully this will have some benefit to you guys. The whole point of achieving financial success is so that one can be successful to travel wherever they want to do to do anything their heart desire. I took a trip out with my girl and although we had a great time, to me it was not worth it. The money I spent came from hard work physically labor, not the passive income my business was generating. If their is anything word of wisdom I can pass to you guys, it is to always delay gratification; Achieve your success first before going on a vacation. Although I had a good time, it was not worth it to me because it seemed like th time went by so fast when you are having fun and all the expenses, wow, it crazy. Anyways, I am not going on any vacation until I reach my goal of financial independence when I can actually walk away from my job and spend all the time I want in Italy. A week and half is not enough time out there. So, always exercise patience. I should have just have the back bone to say to my girl "NO" we can't go to this trip, instead of waisting this money making the airline company richer, let reinvest it back into the business. I guess I would advice one to always always do what's best for them. Not what their family want, or want their friend want, but ultimately what they want because people will not understand why you would rather invest your money as suppose to going on that trip.[

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[MaiPa11]

So your girl pressured you to go on this trip? That's not good... And it's a shame we have to work so hard and then see money slip away so fast. Some people would say it's worth it. I have friends who spend all their money on travel, come back broke and happy.

I'm glad you're going to start doing what you feel is right. Good for you!

 

[Gabeseg]

Don't get me wrong, I had a great time. If I had to do it all over again, I would not have gone to this trip. The money I spent out their would have gotten me much more closer to the fast lane lifestyle instead of spinning my wheels with nothing to show for but a good time. It's all about the way you think. Always learn to delay gratification. Never give in into instant gratification. Well, can't cry over spill milk. Just have get up and learn

 

[Graves]

Why are we prepared so sacrifice so much when it comes to women ?
It's scary.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Rickson9]

Why are we prepared so sacrifice so much when it comes to women ?
It's scary.

I'm not sure why some individuals consider certain things to be a 'sacrifice'.

Best regards.

 

[GlobalWealth]

(IMO) the definition of sacrifice is 'to forfeit something you highly value for something you value less'.

For example, if you value travel but place a higher value on financial security and your money is tight, you have made a sacrifice to take a trip with your significant other because of the pressure from the significant other.

This is the definition of sacrifice in my eyes. With that said, I have never made a sacrifice (at least that I remember).

Each choice I have made has been the right choice and inline with my current values at that time.

Some consider saving money for their kids college tuition a sacrifice. To me, it would only be a sacrifice if I valued the new car, house, travel, etc. more than I value my kids education.

But for me, this would not be a sacrifice because I value my kids and their future. But if you truly regret saving the money for the kids because you really want a new mercedes, then you really shouldn't save for their education.

It will only create remorse for you and your kids will 'feel' this remorse in the guilt you will likely lay on them - "I saved all my life for your college degree, don't disappoint me..." - or something along those lines.

My subconscious is a great guide to sacrifice. If I 'feel' guilty about doing something, then I am likely making a sacrifice.