How do you get over an ex?

[Dwight Schrute]

Get rid of all contact with her period.

This sentence is so double-barreled

@juturna
Past is past. Fuggedaboudher, expose yourself to new people, create yourself a new life.

Watch this, it's somehow related to your situation:

 

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[Mr. L]

This sentence is so double-barreled

@juturna
Past is past. Fuggedaboudher, expose yourself to new people, create yourself a new life.

Watch this, it's somehow related to your situation:

This video is pretty stupid, but I know why you sent it...

It was good until the "YOLO" mode started. First I thought it was about becoming a better version of yourself.

I expected to see the process of him becoming a better and richer man. Instead we got this bullshit.

Somehow they left out the process part...

 

[Draven Grey]

I'd honestly like to move on and try with someone new, but not any time soon. I think and feel it is best if I just focus on myself for now and worry about that sort of thing later on. If anything, I might have a causal interaction with a chick here and there when at a bar.

THIS! Yes, time will heal all wounds, and focusing on yourself will be the perfect medicine.

20 years later, and I still love my fiancé from my college days. However, the person I still love doesn't exist anymore. The real person who is alive today is not the person I knew back then at all. I also had a very short first marriage that failed miserably, along with a 2-year long custody battle I thankfully won. Since then, a lot changed. I've been happily married for 14 years now, and everyone idolizes my relationship for some reason. I guess it must be pretty damn good? Haha! I think it is too. 100% active support for each other in every endeavor, very open and a specific-type of communication, and making damn sure our core values lined up in the first place -- that's what made us great. We were relationship/marriage counselors for several years, so I imagine that helped us find what we needed.

Focus on yourself. That's the only thing that got me through my first marriage failing. Go buy the four books I list below. Read the first two, and DO NOT read the second two until you feel ready to start dating again.

1. Nonviolent Communication, by Dr. Marshall B. Rosenberg (at least look over the process at cnvc.org) -- The absolute best way to communicate deeply with a person, especially in person. This will help you not take anything personally, express your emotions, and get your needs met, as well as be able to help others do the same. It is by far the most useful thing I ever learned for communication, especially in a conflict. I use it in business as well, and have taught it to many of the bands I've coached over the years. Put simply, it is the single most useful communication tool you will ever learn.
2. Light Your Fire, by Dr. Ellen Kreidman -- Focus on yourself. Become very confident in yourself, and give yourself time to heal.
3. Light Her Fire, by Dr. Ellen Kreidman (alternately, "Light His Fire" is great for women) -- A relationship saving/building book. You will know how the mind of the opposite sex works after reading this. Yes, THAT "great mystery". Use the info, and relationships become a very beautiful and fun adventure. However, read it while still getting over someone, and you'll just beat yourself up the entire time.
4. She Comes First, by Ian Kerner (alternately "He Comes First" for women) -- The absolute best book you can read to make you a great lover.

 

[Mattie]

This sentence is so double-barreled

It's call thinking to fast while you write and leaving out social contacts, i was thinking multiple social networks. Because many people have them on a dating site, Facebook, twitter, music sites, their phones, skype, and the rest of the list. lol

 

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[IrishSpring600]

You will come at a point in your life when you realize why she left you, and by God that moment is liberating.

However, the moment only comes when you go through what she went through with you. That's the painful part. For example, someone's dad might be insensitive to A and A's ex-gf was treated insensitively by A, even though A was oblivious - it doesnt matter.

 

[GreatestManEver]

I know it's not hard at all. Especially when y'all barely had any interaction, but even so, the words and the talks we had are what linger on in my mind and heart. Also, the times we've had intercourse as well. I feel like I'm just clinging on to the sexual arousal I've had, but I know it's more than that cos I truly did like this chick.

So, long story short she texts me on National Girlfriend Day (last Friday) telling me that she has feelings for her ex boyfriend, again (mind you that they're both ricers with RX-7's & have been knowing each other since like 2011, I believe). Anyway, they have a lot of history together evidently, but I at least thought she'd have the decency to give me a chance and not take him back, but she did just that that freaking day. So, I text her something on the lines of, "Don't worry, you'll make the right decision. I truly understand if it is you want to try with him again over us. I hope you go with whoever makes you happy." You know? Something plain and simple. Well, turns out she REALLY wanted him than me, so she chose him. It truly hurt me since I've had a thing for her since 2011 when I originally started talking to her. But, you know, that's the way the cookie crumbles and that's just how women are. Ruthless and careless. Or that's how I see them for I've had bad experiences since I was a teen with women. Yeah, I've had my fair share of messing up, but not like most of the women I've dated who have screwed me over.

Anyway, that towards the end was somewhat extraneous. Point being: How do I get over someone I barely had any strong feelings for, but still cared about to a somewhat extent?

This is how you get over your ex in 2 steps.
step 1 - cut your ex off from you life 100% percent, it will be hard but just do it.
step 2 - go and find a better woman, or a few better woman, best way to get over a girl is to, find a new one.
The pain will go away in time, cutting her off and finding better woman, will make the pain go away faster.

I read what you wrote, you have oneitis, You also have a scarcity mentality, your brain is punishing you for loosing her, so let me help with your mind set, there are 3.9 billion other women in the world (3,900,000,000), you will find some one better for you, wish her the best and let her live her life, she's doing what's she thinks is best for her happiness, now its you job to go and get the life you want and be happy.

A little advice on getting women, main thing most women are interested in a man is survival value, and men replication value, the other guy had better value to give her then you, you can dislike him or her, but they are doing what's best for them. work on making your self better in life, and not for women, but for your self. Learn to be centered and find happiness from with in. Happiness doesn't come from another person, its comes from your mind. Ask your self this if you were as famous as Robert Downey Junior, as good looking as Brad Pitt, and as rich as Bill Gates, what is the chance she would leave you, 1% 2% 0%.
Also spend some time to learn about male and female psychology, understanding your self better and women better, will help you with your future relationships, and your own self.

Also you seem like that guy that falls in love fast, even if its wrong for him, so listen up, never get legally married, the marriage contract is between you and the state, the government has no business in your relationship, 60% divorce rate, is like playing Russian roulette, with 3 bullets in the revolver.

We all been there, you will be fine, give it a little time.

 

[IrishSpring600]

Listen to Wayne. It speeds up the process.

 

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[Mattie]

60% divorce rate, is like playing Russian roulette, with 3 bullets in the revolver.

That's absolutely correct. And a huge Bang!

 

[IrishSpring600]

That's absolutely correct. And a huge Bang!

Precisely a 0.4% chance of surviving (geometric sequence)

 

[Will Bauer]

This is how you get over your ex in 2 steps.
step 1 - cut your ex off from you life 100% percent, it will be hard but just do it.
step 2 - go and find a better woman, or a few better woman, best way to get over a girl is to, find a new one.
The pain will go away in time, cutting her off and finding better woman, will make the pain go away faster.

I read what you wrote, you have oneitis, You also have a scarcity mentality, your brain is punishing you for loosing her, so let me help with your mind set, there are 3.9 billion other women in the world (3,900,000,000), you will find some one better for you, wish her the best and let her live her life, she's doing what's she thinks is best for her happiness, now its you job to go and get the life you want and be happy.

A little advice on getting women, main thing most women are interested in a man is survival value, and men replication value, the other guy had better value to give her then you, you can dislike him or her, but they are doing what's best for them. work on making your self better in life, and not for women, but for your self. Learn to be centered and find happiness from with in. Happiness doesn't come from another person, its comes from your mind. Ask your self this if you were as famous as Robert Downey Junior, as good looking as Brad Pitt, and as rich as Bill Gates, what is the chance she would leave you, 1% 2% 0%.
Also spend some time to learn about male and female psychology, understanding your self better and women better, will help you with your future relationships, and your own self.

Also you seem like that guy that falls in love fast, even if its wrong for him, so listen up, never get legally married, the marriage contract is between you and the state, the government has no business in your relationship, 60% divorce rate, is like playing Russian roulette, with 3 bullets in the revolver.

We all been there, you will be fine, give it a little time.

You get quite close with the post but miss one really important step.


step 1 - cut your ex off from you life 100% percent, it will be hard but just do it.
step 2 - become a better version of yourself
step 3 - a better woman will find you

Step 2 is really crucial. Once you get your life in order women will just be attracted to you. You almost have no choice about this. There are so many great women out there it's unbelievable but you will not find one (for long) till you become a better version of yourself.

Then you can truly choose the right woman for you. (One that wants to be with you)

Get you life in order. Become successful and start your way towards your goals. The right woman will show up.

One book you have to read is: The Way Of The Superior Man by David Deida.

Just to give you one quote from the book: Choose a woman that chooses you.

But the book goes far beyond dealing with woman it's about you life.

 

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[IrishSpring600]

You get quite close with the post but miss one really important step.


step 1 - cut your ex off from you life 100% percent, it will be hard but just do it.
step 2 - become a better version of yourself
step 3 - a better woman will find you

Step 2 is really crucial. Once you get your life in order women will just be attracted to you. You almost have no choice about this. There are so many great women out there it's unbelievable but you will not find one (for long) till you become a better version of yourself.

Then you can truly choose the right woman for you. (One that wants to be with you)

Get you life in order. Become successful and start your way towards your goals. The right woman will show up.

One book you have to read is: The Way Of The Superior Man by David Deida.

Just to give you one quote from the book: Choose a woman that chooses you.

But the book goes far beyond dealing with woman it's about you life.

My god. Wizard. I was going to post Deida but I forgot. READ.THIS.BOOK.

 

[GreatestManEver]

You get quite close with the post but miss one really important step.


step 1 - cut your ex off from you life 100% percent, it will be hard but just do it.
step 2 - become a better version of yourself
step 3 - a better woman will find you

Step 2 is really crucial. Once you get your life in order women will just be attracted to you. You almost have no choice about this. There are so many great women out there it's unbelievable but you will not find one (for long) till you become a better version of yourself.

Then you can truly choose the right woman for you. (One that wants to be with you)

Get you life in order. Become successful and start your way towards your goals. The right woman will show up.

One book you have to read is: The Way Of The Superior Man by David Deida.

Just to give you one quote from the book: Choose a woman that chooses you.

But the book goes far beyond dealing with woman it's about you life.

David Deida TWOTSM is a good book, its up there with other top books on life and relationships.

I half agree with step 3, because you need a lot of value for step 3, because 90% of women want the 10% of men who are the best of the best, no one is lining up to date homeless men, they are lining up to meet Brad Pitt. It's better to take action and actively go meet women you are interested in, they will come to you but the percentage depends on how much value you have, so its a lot less to choose from.

If your in a club and your a celebrity, many women will approach you, and you can pick the one you feel is best for you.
if your in the club and your above average, a few women will approach you.
Below average, no one, or no one your interested in.

If your super model good looking, a lot of women will approach you.
if your above average good looking, some women will approach you.

If you make 5 figures a few women will approach you.
If your a billionaire many women will approach you.

So yes women will come to him, when he betters him self, but he will do a lot better, if he actively goes out to
take action and meet women, if you see a girl you like at party, club, etc.. walk up to her, Hi im (insert your name)!

It's the same in the business world, when your the top tier, the best of the best, top 1%. People come to you and give you business, if your not the best yet, you need to go out and make it happen.

I have had the pleasure of having many amazing, beautiful and intelligent women in my life, a lot of them I didn't wait for them to find me, I went and met them, If I waited for them to find me, I would have never had the please of meeting some of them.

 

[Will Bauer]

David Deida TWOTSM is a good book, its up there with other top books on life and relationships.

I half agree with step 3, because you need a lot of value for step 3, because 90% of women want the 10% of men who are the best of the best, no one is lining up to date homeless men, they are lining up to meet Brad Pitt. It's better to take action and actively go meet women you are interested in, they will come to you but the percentage depends on how much value you have, so its a lot less to choose from.

If your in a club and your a celebrity, many women will approach you, and you can pick the one you feel is best for you.
if your in the clue and your above average, a few women will approach you.
Below average, no one, or no one your interested in.

If your super model good looking, a lot of women will approach you.
if your above average good looking, some women will approach you.

If you make 5 figures a few women will approach you.
If your a billionaire many women will approach you.

So yes women will come to him, when he betters him self, but he will do a lot better, if he actively goes out to
take action and meet women, if you see a girl you like at party, club, etc.. walk up to her, Hi im (insert your name)!

It's the same in the business world, when your the top tier, the best of the best, top 1%. People come to you and give you business, if your not the best yet, you need to go out and make it happen.

I have had the pleasure of having many amazing, beautiful and intelligent women in my life, a lot of them I didn't wait for them to find me, I went and met them, If I waited for them to find me, I would have never had the please of meeting some of them.

I just oversimplified step 3.

But once you get successful (in a holistic way) you will have great people around you. If they know you are cool and single they will love to introduce to cool single woman as well. You just have to followup then.

At some point it does not matter that much any more. It just happens. But it was a long way (for me) to reach that point.

As long as you feel something is lacking in your life you probably have not reached this point yet.

Once you know and feel that you are already "complete" even without money, women, etc. it will magically appear.

You will find the courage to take the necessary steps to push things forward and attain everything you ever asked for.

But with women it's not weather you make 5 figures or 10 figures. It's about the attitude you convey.

In the end I never understood why we are always talking of women in plural. At least for me maintaining one successful relationship is already pretty hard. I could not imagine to have more than one relationship. But maybe that's just me.

I think it's same in business. Building one Microsoft is more than enough. You do not have to start multiple companies to be successful. In fact this will often times limit your ability reach your highest potential.

 

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[Mattie]

Precisely a 0.4% chance of surviving (geometric sequence)

Wonders if it would be helpful to have at least a Masters Degree on marriage, psychology, Parenting and finances before being allowed to be married.

 

[Mattie]

step 3 - a better woman will find you

I don't remember ever looking in the lost in found for men. lol It refers women to be looking for lost men.

 

[IrishSpring600]

Wonders if it would be helpful to have at least a Masters Degree on marriage, psychology, Parenting and finances before being allowed to be married.

Or experience with women.

 

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