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- Sep 23, 2013
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I had a realization on my exercise bike this morning that I think is worth sharing. The topic is the drive to be comfortable and why we need to defy this.
When I look back on my life, I realize that my biggest wins have been when I fought through pain and discomfort until I made it to the other side. I also realize how many times I have lost out by not fighting through that discomfort. It's a bad realization to make, but a necessary one. It's crazy how deep the rabbit hole goes.
Last year, I decided that I was too comfortable. I had a job that wasn't going anywhere, although only a $48,000 a year job. I would have reprieves from work where I would think about all of my big dreams, all of the things I was going to do. I realized that in order to have a chance at hitting these big dreams, that I would have to do something different. Discomfort creeped in and, being a human, decided to make a change. I put in my notice to quit my job on December 1. Huge step right? Well, not exactly. I had a meeting with my boss and was talked into going part time. I figured I could work two days a week and have some income rolling in while I got things going. So, January rolled around, and I set forth on this excursion. I proceeded to focus on about 6 different things at once, and I made very little progress through the end of March. My focus was spread thin, and I had a "Plan B". I had realized that this wasn't working and was in the process of narrowing down my focus and eliminating my "Plan B".
The end of March came around, and I was "let go". Now there was no safety net, and then the strangest thing happened. I felt a huge sense of relief. I became more focused than I think I've ever been. The big picture has come into view, and things are clicking. In hindsight, I should have quit my job when I set out to, but if I had, I might not have had the epiphany I have now had.
In life, we have to change, there is no way about it. If we want to make progress and hit the big goals, we have to fight through discomfort. It's a tug-of-war match, you versus comfort. Every time we choose comfort over fighting through the pain, we move a little bit further backwards. It's a war, and we fight the battles everyday. I have been fighting to lose weight this year, and I have had some success, but I have had my cave-ins as well. Excuses as to why I don't need to get on the exercise bike today. I've been doing so well, I'll slack off for a few days and eat pizza and tacos. Then, I pay for it. This battle is won or lost based on our thoughts, our beliefs. A good rule of thumb is that if The Herd believes something, does something, practices something, we should automatically question it. If The Herd is mostly broke, unhappy, unfree, overweight, in debt, and irresponsible, why should we behave like them?
It occurred to me lately that, since change is inevitable, we ultimately have two options: to be proactive or to be reactive. The Herd is a reactive bunch. They fight to stay comfortable at all times (especially The Sidewalkers). Pain is viewed as a negative experience. Discomfort is avoided through a number of avenues: television, pointing the finger/avoiding responsibility, the latest gadget, and so on. For slowlaners, they put their faith in the system: their job, their 401K, their bosses, the housing market, and so on. Their comfort is achieved by having the faith that if I do all of these correct things, everything will work out. Both of these mindsets achieve comfort by avoiding pain and harsh realities. The problem with both of these is reality will come crashing in, at some point. A baby is on the way, you get a DUI, the stock market crashes, you get fired or laid off, etc. Discomfort rolls in and then you have two options, change or point the finger. However, at this point, the battle is already LOST, because the world forced you to change, meaning you couldn't do it on your own. They waited too long. However, knowing that The Herd is determined to remain comfortable, is something worth keeping in mind. Almost all successful products are helping the consumer be more comfortable, on some level. Keep this in mind.
So, what's the alternative? The alternative is to be proactive. When I decided to quit my job, and then reneged, then got let go, I FAILED. In a way, I won because I am able to admit that I failed and know exactly why I failed, but I could have just killed the job on my own. Failure is fine as long as we can know why we failed and know what to do next. By being proactive, we embrace discomfort. We are making a choice to make the tough decisions ourselves, before the world forces us to make them. We realize that by avoiding discomfort, we are actually adding more pain to our lives. The Herd does not do this.
I think the overall answer for me, at this stage of my life, is to practice Comfort Defiance as much as possible. It's amazing all the ways we sell ourselves short. We set small goals, when we should aim higher. We don't go talk to that attractive person, because we are scared of being rejected. We don't quit that job we hate, because of the fear of what MIGHT happen if we do. So, we settle for less, and when we do this, in the end, we LOSE. I realize that someone like Mark Cuban has earned the right to be comfortable. If you've earned millions of dollars and never had to work again, you've earned that right. However (and I'm only assuming because I'm not a millionaire), there may even come a point for a millionaire or even a billionaire where they have become too comfortable, and must break past those comfort barriers in order to achieve the next milestone.
I have a firm belief, at this point, that comfort defiance IS the primary reason why some are successful in life and others aren't. I also realize that if you are contemplating whether you should do something, you probably should have already done it.
I hope this makes sense. This is something I needed to get down for myself, before it's gone. Now I must get to work.
When I look back on my life, I realize that my biggest wins have been when I fought through pain and discomfort until I made it to the other side. I also realize how many times I have lost out by not fighting through that discomfort. It's a bad realization to make, but a necessary one. It's crazy how deep the rabbit hole goes.
Last year, I decided that I was too comfortable. I had a job that wasn't going anywhere, although only a $48,000 a year job. I would have reprieves from work where I would think about all of my big dreams, all of the things I was going to do. I realized that in order to have a chance at hitting these big dreams, that I would have to do something different. Discomfort creeped in and, being a human, decided to make a change. I put in my notice to quit my job on December 1. Huge step right? Well, not exactly. I had a meeting with my boss and was talked into going part time. I figured I could work two days a week and have some income rolling in while I got things going. So, January rolled around, and I set forth on this excursion. I proceeded to focus on about 6 different things at once, and I made very little progress through the end of March. My focus was spread thin, and I had a "Plan B". I had realized that this wasn't working and was in the process of narrowing down my focus and eliminating my "Plan B".
The end of March came around, and I was "let go". Now there was no safety net, and then the strangest thing happened. I felt a huge sense of relief. I became more focused than I think I've ever been. The big picture has come into view, and things are clicking. In hindsight, I should have quit my job when I set out to, but if I had, I might not have had the epiphany I have now had.
In life, we have to change, there is no way about it. If we want to make progress and hit the big goals, we have to fight through discomfort. It's a tug-of-war match, you versus comfort. Every time we choose comfort over fighting through the pain, we move a little bit further backwards. It's a war, and we fight the battles everyday. I have been fighting to lose weight this year, and I have had some success, but I have had my cave-ins as well. Excuses as to why I don't need to get on the exercise bike today. I've been doing so well, I'll slack off for a few days and eat pizza and tacos. Then, I pay for it. This battle is won or lost based on our thoughts, our beliefs. A good rule of thumb is that if The Herd believes something, does something, practices something, we should automatically question it. If The Herd is mostly broke, unhappy, unfree, overweight, in debt, and irresponsible, why should we behave like them?
It occurred to me lately that, since change is inevitable, we ultimately have two options: to be proactive or to be reactive. The Herd is a reactive bunch. They fight to stay comfortable at all times (especially The Sidewalkers). Pain is viewed as a negative experience. Discomfort is avoided through a number of avenues: television, pointing the finger/avoiding responsibility, the latest gadget, and so on. For slowlaners, they put their faith in the system: their job, their 401K, their bosses, the housing market, and so on. Their comfort is achieved by having the faith that if I do all of these correct things, everything will work out. Both of these mindsets achieve comfort by avoiding pain and harsh realities. The problem with both of these is reality will come crashing in, at some point. A baby is on the way, you get a DUI, the stock market crashes, you get fired or laid off, etc. Discomfort rolls in and then you have two options, change or point the finger. However, at this point, the battle is already LOST, because the world forced you to change, meaning you couldn't do it on your own. They waited too long. However, knowing that The Herd is determined to remain comfortable, is something worth keeping in mind. Almost all successful products are helping the consumer be more comfortable, on some level. Keep this in mind.
So, what's the alternative? The alternative is to be proactive. When I decided to quit my job, and then reneged, then got let go, I FAILED. In a way, I won because I am able to admit that I failed and know exactly why I failed, but I could have just killed the job on my own. Failure is fine as long as we can know why we failed and know what to do next. By being proactive, we embrace discomfort. We are making a choice to make the tough decisions ourselves, before the world forces us to make them. We realize that by avoiding discomfort, we are actually adding more pain to our lives. The Herd does not do this.
I think the overall answer for me, at this stage of my life, is to practice Comfort Defiance as much as possible. It's amazing all the ways we sell ourselves short. We set small goals, when we should aim higher. We don't go talk to that attractive person, because we are scared of being rejected. We don't quit that job we hate, because of the fear of what MIGHT happen if we do. So, we settle for less, and when we do this, in the end, we LOSE. I realize that someone like Mark Cuban has earned the right to be comfortable. If you've earned millions of dollars and never had to work again, you've earned that right. However (and I'm only assuming because I'm not a millionaire), there may even come a point for a millionaire or even a billionaire where they have become too comfortable, and must break past those comfort barriers in order to achieve the next milestone.
I have a firm belief, at this point, that comfort defiance IS the primary reason why some are successful in life and others aren't. I also realize that if you are contemplating whether you should do something, you probably should have already done it.
I hope this makes sense. This is something I needed to get down for myself, before it's gone. Now I must get to work.
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